Getting back into my “LIFE” after 2 weeks of being away takes some doing, or shall I say some BEING. I am so grateful to be home to paradise and to my sweetheart, Larry. Before I left to visit my family on the mainland, my INTENTION was that my trip would flow with peace, ease and grace and that I would get into the FLOW of activities immediately. I didn’t want to give into “jet lag” with traveling 5000 miles across the ocean and being too tired to spend time with my family. My prayer was answered because I felt great and didn’t waste any time getting into things. I visited my son, daughter-in-law and new grandson in Connecticut and then went kayaking with my children and grandchildren the next day.
I had a wonderful visit with my family and girlfriends. My 4 children attended the annual family reunion at my daughter, Mary’s, farm and my son, Tim commented, “This was the best one yet” and I agreed. I held my new grandson, River, for the first time and what a blessing that was. I had so much fun with my grandsons: Jarred who will be 2 years old, Zach who will be 25 and Josh who is 20.
It was a busy time and the 2 weeks flew by. Although my life on Maui is much slower and relaxed, I was able to keep up with all of the activities, but was often in bed by 9 p.m. My daughter, Mary, and I gave a retreat for 20 women at her farm. It was a powerful day of healing and transformation. We look forward to giving another one next year. We also celebrated the grand opening of “The Sage Clinic” (naturopathic clinic) which was started by Mary and Naturopath Dr. John McGonagle.
When I returned home to Maui a few days ago, I wanted to “jump back into my life” and not “waste“ any time. There was so much I wanted to do; answer emails, get pictures developed, call friends, follow-up with women on the retreat, write thank-you notes, write blog, unpack suitcase and on and on. I quickly recognized that it didn’t take me long to get back into my “DOING” mode. Perhaps I feel more in control and more powerful when I am in the DOING mode and have a long list of things to accomplish. Of course, there is nothing wrong with doing, but FIRST THINGS FIRST.
As I prayed about what “TO DO” next, I heard God say, “I want you to relax and just BE.” I asked myself, “Did I think BEING was just wasting precious time?” Time is a gift God has given us and it is up to us to do what is best for ourselves. By the grace of God and my willingness to listen to Spirit, I was able to relax and take care of myself. I took several naps, sat outside and enjoyed the breeze, flowers, ocean and the mountains.
You see, my body was clearly very tired from the schedule of the last 2 weeks and being up for 24 hours when I traveled back home. But my mind and perhaps ego was saying something different. My mind said, “You need to get things done first before you can relax.” I realized this was an old belief that no longer served me. I remember when my children were teenagers and clearly capable of taking care of themselves. I wasn’t able to relax until everybody was taken care of. Not knowing any better, I put myself last.
If I want peace (which has been my daily INTENTION for many years), then I must pay attention to my body, mind and Spirit and give it the love it needs. I choose to live in the moment, follow my heart and trust that I am being led and that everything is in perfect and right order.
I have been reading Michael Singer’s book, “The Surrender Experiment” and Eckhart Tolle’s, “Stillness Speaks.” In both books the authors encourage their readers to learn to accept whatever comes into their lives and not resist.
My understanding of what they’re saying is that there is a Higher Power available to us and we can be helped by this Higher Power with any of our life’s situations if we just remain open to that possibility. The experience may not be pleasant and may even be painful. We are encouraged to just accept, no matter what it is. If we feel that we just can’t accept what’s happening at this time in our lives, then accept that we can’t accept. By accepting, we stay open and we allow the Higher Power to grant us the gift that each life experience is bringing us. By resisting what’s happening, we close ourselves to our Higher Power which prevents us from receiving help.
As I write this piece, I am being distracted by my neighbor’s gardener who is using his loud leaf blower and weed whacker on one side of my home and on the other side they are doing construction. I can imagine my Higher Power observing me with a smile as I try to concentrate and accept in this present life situation.
Accepting is a new way of life for me. The other day I decided to take a nap in the early afternoon. We don’t have air conditioning so we keep our windows and doors open. As I lay there, I became conscious of just how noisy it was outside. Dogs barking, people mowing lawns, hundreds of birds singing and chirping, etc. Usually, I would feel frustrated, impatient, angry and get all stirred up and would go into the “poor me, poor me” mode.
I have been working very hard to learn to be more accepting and just allow things to be the way they are. I decided to accept everything that was going on outside and stay open to possibilities. Before I knew it, I was able to visualize this commotion outside as a large philharmonic orchestra playing a beautiful symphony. I know this sounds crazy but it was really cool and before I knew it I was asleep.
I know this is just a small example in accepting, but if I can develop a new habit of staying open to life situations then hopefully, I can become more open to accepting larger situations as they arise.
We’re finding that it seems to be easier to “accept life situations” when we really try to live in the moment and not pay attention to what may happen in the future or what has happened in the past. Tolle suggests that what is happening in a life situation is not us; we are “who is observing the situation.” We are the one who is conscious of what is happening in that situation. It seems like when I can remember that I am an observer in the experience, I can stay open better and accept what is happening in the moment.
It’s such a positive experience to allow ourselves the opportunity to be flexible, to not be afraid of change, to be open to new ideas, and to accept the gift of joy and peace that is being offered to us. I send you the energy of love and light to help you on your journey, please accept my gift.
Praying for things that you want gives you an opportunity to affirm your worthiness. If you don’t love yourself, you will find all kinds of excuses not to ask for what you want or to DEFLECT your good when it comes. This is also called self-sabotage. Asking God for what you want is an affirmation that you desire and deserve good in your life.
If you love, honor, value and appreciate yourself, you will know that you deserve to ask God for health, peace of mind, happiness, success, healthy relationships, wealth and love. You will be open to all things good that come into your life and support your well-being.
I would like to share a story about a friend who called me and asked for prayer this morning. Larry and I spend time together in the morning discussing the plans for the day and expressing our gratitude for our many blessings. Larry had just finished sharing a dream that he had that night (which he will share in his part of the blog) and we were talking about the importance of asking God for help when the phone rang.
I know now it was Spirit because I answered the phone on the 2nd ring and I don’t usually answer the phone during my time with Larry in the morning. I could hear the desperation and panic in my friend’s voice when she said hello. She said, “Pat, I am so glad you answered the phone, I need prayer NOW.” I said, “OK what’s going on?” She told me that she had to make a phone call in 5 minutes with an important decision about her career and she didn’t know what to do.
I listened and allowed her to share her feelings of anger, being overwhelmed, fear, confusion and panic. When she had vented and calmed down some, we prayed together and we did EFT tapping. We prayed for guidance and clarity.
When we were done, I asked her if she had read our blog from last week about the power of prayer and she said, “Yes, that is what prompted me to call you and ask for prayer. I said, “I don’t usually answer the phone in the morning.” She said, “I know you don’t and it is a miracle that you answered the phone today.” She started to cry and I sensed they were tears of gratitude because she experienced a miracle and knew she was loved and cared for by God. She said, “I now know there is a bigger picture.” I encouraged her to see this as an opportunity for her to set her boundaries and stand up for herself, rather than feeling like a victim and blaming others.
I asked her to call and let me know the outcome of the phone call that she was about to make. When she called me back a little while later, I could hear the strength and confidence in her voice. She was able to clearly speak her truth and get her needs met. We both knew it was the POWER OF PRAYER and that she had the courage to ask for help when she needed it.
After our conversation, I asked myself, “Why do we often wait until we are desperate to ask for help from God or another and experience a miracle?” Could it be our pride or that we feel unworthy? Could it be that we don’t want to bother another or God? Are we afraid of what others will think of us? Are we afraid of being judged or rejected? I am sure there are many reasons why we don’t ask for help when we need it. What are yours?
I recently came across a poem called “I AM THERE” by James Dillet Freeman. “Do you need me? I am there. You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by. Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me as I am, and then but as a feeling and a faith. Yet I am there. Yet I hear. Yet I answer. When you need me, I am there.”
During one of our conversations about prayer, I mentioned to Pat that I have difficulty praying to God about someone who is very sick or dying or is going through a difficult time, etc. I refer to this as a “petition prayer”.
If I believe that everything we encounter in our lives is for our highest good, then, asking God to intervene would be asking God to change his/her assessment. Would this mean that I knew what was better for that person than God did? I will send love and light energy trusting that this will help the person in their predicament, but I won’t ask for them to get well or the difficult times to pass.
I had a couple of incidents last week when I asked God for help. One was in a dream and the other one was with my part-time job. In my dream, I had just climbed to the top of a cliff. When I got to the top, I turned around and looked down. I wasn’t sure that I would be able to climb down again. I started to climb down and noticed a large cloth something like a sheet or bedspread hanging down the side of the cliff, so I grabbed hold of it and used it as leverage to help me climb down. Suddenly the cloth began to tear. As I looked up at the edge of the cliff, I noticed a metal cross in the ground. As the cloth tore away, I grabbed onto the cross and began to pull myself up. Then to my horror the cross began to bend from my weight. I was really frightened now and yelled out, “God I could really use some help here.” Then I noticed a small tree growing near the edge of the cliff. It was small enough for me to get my hand around it as I pulled myself up to safety. I’m not sure what dreams mean or what value they have al though this dream helped me to realize how important it is to allow Spirit into our lives to help us through the difficult times.
I manage a vacation rental here on Maui. I was working at my desk yesterday paying some bills and working on files. I had a deposit check from folks who will be staying at the condo in the near future. I put the check in a special place on my desk so I wouldn’t lose it. I finished my work and turned off my laptop computer. I collected the material I had been working on and looked at the place where I had placed the check. It was gone. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it. This was the worst scenario I could imagine and I wasn’t sure what to do.
I took a minute to sit down at my desk, collect my thoughts and calm down. I said, “God I could really use your help. I don’t know what happened to that check.” Then a thought came to me immediately. “Look under your laptop.” Sure enough, the check was there under my computer in the back. Some folks may think that this was a coincidence. I think it was asking and being open to receiving a gift from the energy of light and love. Just like my dream, I was hanging off that cliff and love consciousness had my back. Love always has our back. All we need to do is ask and be open to receive.
If you are standing at a crossroads in your life and fear is your only companion and you are not sure which road to take (whether it be confronting an addiction, an abusive relationship, terminal illness, passing of a loved one), is it time for you ask for help?
Learning to ask for help when you need it and trusting an energy far more powerful than you have ever known is the answer. Take that first step because Love has your back and we are never alone.
As always, I learned some valuable lessons this week about the importance of GIVING & RECEIVING AND ASKING FOR WHAT WE WANT. Many of us have no problem with giving to others, but find it difficult to receive and especially ask for what we need and want. It is important to learn how to have this “flow of energy” of giving and receiving in our lives so we can be whole and healthy. When we only “give” and have difficulty receiving and don’t ask for help from others, we actually block the love that others want to give us. Our inability to ask for what we need often comes from a place of not feeling worthy. So we rob ourselves of receiving love and rob others of giving love to us.
My girlfriend, Barbara, from Maui is moving back to the mainland next week. When I moved a few months ago, Barbara was kind enough to let me store my belongings in her second bedroom until my new home was ready. I so appreciated her kindness.
So when Barbara emailed me a few weeks ago and told me that she was moving, I called her and said, “I would be happy to help you do whatever you need me to do.” I called her a couple of days ago and invited her to lunch. Again, I said, “How can I help you, what do you need me to do”? She told me she could use some help cleaning her house.
I went to her house yesterday to help her clean and then we went to lunch. At one point, while I was washing the blinds, she peeked her head into the room and said, “I have had a hard time asking for help and I usually push through things and do it all myself. This feels really good to have your support and love today.” I asked myself, “Why do we think we have to do it all ourselves and that asking for help is weak, bad and wrong?”
I thought about her comment and the people I have counseled over the years and the problems they have had asking for help. I decided to talk to her about it while we were having lunch. I sensed that God wanted me to write about it in my blog this week (especially since I prayed that morning for an inspirational blog.)
Barbara was open to talk about it when I asked her, “Why has it been so hard for you to ask for help?” She immediately said, “It’s a pattern. I learned it from my mother. She never asked for help. It’s also because I don’t feel worthy to ask because people probably won’t want to help me and I don’t want to bother them. Another big part for me is that I know I’m capable to do it myself. And when push comes to shove, I have always gotten it done, no matter what.”
I asked her, “What did you do to move through this?” She was quiet as the tears started to roll down her cheeks and then she said, “Something has shifted inside of me and I was able to say YES to being loved and supported. I felt worthy of having the help.” More tears as she looked into my eyes and said, “I didn’t know how much that people loved and cared about me. I sense my life is going to be different in the future because I don’t have to push and be in control. I like this flow of energy and it can be easy now that I am awake and aware that I am loved and supported.”
Wow, what a blessed and precious moment for me to witness and be in the presence of Barbara’s breakthrough. Haven’t we all been there at one time or another when we didn’t know how much we were loved and supported? Is it that simple that all we have to do is say YES to being loved and supported and ask for what we need? I believe it is simple, but we must do the inner work first and identify beliefs that no longer serve us. We often don’t ask for what we need and want because we don’t know what we want. Once we know what we want, we need to know how to communicate that to another in a way that we will be heard.
I had the experience of asking for what I wanted in my relationship with Larry this week. We both read the bestselling book, The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. If we don’t know what our love language is and what is important to us, we will not feel loved and our partner will not feel loved, no matter what we do.
In his book, Dr. Chapman describes the 5 love languages as being: 1. Words of affirmation 2. Acts of service 3. Receiving gifts 4. Quality time 5. Physical touch
Thankfully, Larry and I have the same #1 love language and that is physical touch. We can’t keep our hands off of each other and we look like teenagers because we are always holding hands. Strangers comment to us that they want to be like us when they get to our age. And we say, “SENIORS ROCK.” Now, I have to admit that is not a bad thing! What is interesting is that I didn’t know that physical touch was so important to me to feel loved.
Pretty close to the top of my list and perhaps equal to physical touch is #3 Receiving gifts. I was clear and communicated to Larry about what would make me feel loved. I told him that sending me a card or buying me flowers or small gifts of love would really light me up and I would know how much he loved me. This is not his love language and what he needs from me.
A few days later, when I went to the mailbox and saw a card addressed to me from Larry, my heart skilled a beat and I said to myself, “He heard me as the tears flowed down my cheeks.” What a gift it is to me to be truly heard by Larry.
I understand why this is so important to me now because my ex-husband wasn’t able to love me in the way I needed to be loved and I wasn’t able to love him in the way he needed to be loved. Perhaps if we had known each other’s love language, we would still be together.
I thank God for blessing me with love and for the grace to give and receive and ask for what I need in my life. Are you able to ask for what you need? Are you open to receiving the many blessings that have your name on it? Like Barbara did, say YES and know that you are worthy of love from others.
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- I had the Surprise of my Life
- Larry’s reaction when I shared I have feelings for you
- The Divine Pause
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