My stuff came up & I am transformed by the renewal of my mind

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Apr
25

When my friend, Ellen, invited me to Maui for 2 weeks in November, 2010, I had no idea I would be living in Paradise 2 years later. God had a plan and I just kept saying YES to the invitation – not having any idea what it would look like or how it would happen.  Step by step, I faced my fears and moved into the mystery and the unknown.

I see today that My “PLAN” was not God’s plan and I am grateful that I had the grace to surrender, let go and allow God to lead and guide me (not without struggle, at times). Before I moved to Maui for 6 months in January 2012, while I was in Maui in November, 2011, I spoke at 2 churches and presented a workshop for women at the Senior Center.  So of course, I thought when I moved to Maui in January 2012, I would continue to do this. My “PLAN” was to continue my work as an inspirational speaker, retreat leader and spiritual coach.  I realize today that God needed to do “some work” in me and I needed to do some “letting go” before I moved forward in this way. It was not God’s timing or God’s plan.

Before I moved to Maui I was warned that all of my “stuff” would come up. I felt a little smug and thought I had worked for so many years on my stuff already, I was safe. Silly me, I should have known better because whenever we are being called to a higher level of consciousness or some big change is occurring in our lives, our stuff comes up. If I am honest, even though I don’t like it at first, I welcome my “stuff” coming up because I want to be the best I can be, so I can serve and be a vessel for God in the purest way. My stuff has come up (as I have shared in my weekly blogs) and with the grace of God, I have been transformed. I read in one of my spiritual books, “While you wait in my presence, I do my best work within you to transform you by the renewal of your mind.”

I wrote in my blog of Jan. 24, 2012 – Waiting has not been my favorite thing to do, but I have learned over the years that it is essential to my spiritual health and well-being to wait on God. I arrived in Maui 5 days ago and it is beyond words how grateful I feel for this opportunity and adventure. In prayer this morning, I became aware of “old behaviors” creeping in and robbing me of my peace. Rather than resting in the energy of BEING and trusting in the divine plan to unfold in its own time and own way, I felt tempted to control and make things happen. I thanked God for this awareness and strengthened my resolve to live in the moment and trust the divine plan. “By waiting and by calm, I shall be saved, in quiet and trust lies my strength.”

When I arrived in Maui in January 2012, I was surprised when I had “no desire” to call the churches, do workshops or coach others. “What was going on”, I wondered.  As I shared earlier, I struggled with this because this was not MY PLAN.

I wrote in my blog of March 6, 2012,  I FINALLY GOT IT and I am so grateful! It will be seven weeks since I have been in paradise and it has been quite a ride!  I am happy to report that, not only am I living in Paradise but I have found Paradise inside of me. I had a major shift in my consciousness while in prayer this week. Deep within my soul, I knew the reason I was here was to receive God’s love. It seemed so simple and yet profound. I said, “God, do you mean I don’t have to do anything?” “Yes, I want you to experience my unconditional love without having to do anything. How will you be able to receive the love from your soul mate that I have planned for you if you are unable to experience my love completely and unconditionally?” Wow, I knew God was speaking to my heart. It’s been over two weeks since I received this message and I feel an incredible freedom to enjoy the present moment, to be in the flow of the Spirit and to trust each moment and experience to unfold perfectly. I am invited to play in God’s playground and enjoy every moment. This is a gift from God with no strings attached. I don’t have to do anything to earn it.

During this time of waiting, I read a book called “Faith” by A.C. Ping. Here is what it said: “One of the most frustrating times along the spiritual path occurs when NOTHING seems to be happening.  Not only do we have lots of time to think, but at the same time people keep asking you “What’s happening?” On the surface nothing seems to be happening, but underneath a great shift is occurring. Instead of feeling frustrated, it may be that life is giving you a safe place to rest and gather your energy for the journey ahead. You may not be able to see which way to go, but if you sit patiently, have faith that life has meaning and wait until the mist clears, you may find that one day you wake up to a bright blue sky that reveals a clear path leading to an even more beautiful mountain than the one you just climbed. The temptation will be to run around in the mist searching for guidance. But this will wear you out and until you stop and rest, no further path will be revealed to you until you have the energy to attempt the next climb. Trust that although nothing seems to be happening on the surface, a whole lot is happening below the surface.”

As I write this blog, it is hard to believe that it has been 15 months since I have been living and playing in paradise. I have listened to my intuition and not attempted to further my career in any way. I have trusted that although nothing seemed to be happening on the surface, a whole lot was happening below the surface.”

A couple of months ago, I attended a talk with my friend, Jodene, and after the talk I said, “You know, something is stirring in me because I miss speaking and doing workshops. I will pray about it and ask God to open the door and bring to me what it is that I am to do – if anything.” I let it go and felt peaceful.

I met, Kati, a year ago when we were on a retreat together. I was drawn to her – she was a shining light and I loved her energy.  We exchanged emails but it wasn’t time for us YET! She lived on the other side of the island and we didn’t get together until I moved here this past September.  I had the opportunity to house- sit in Makawa, Maui before I moved into my home in Kihei.  Kati lived 2 minutes away and was friends with the women I house- sat for.  Kati and I reconnected and spent time together having fun and playing.

A couple of months ago, as Kati and I shared our spiritual journey with one another, we both felt that God was calling us to do something together. We didn’t know what it was, but we agreed to pray about it. A few weeks ago, Kati invited me to come and paint with her at her new home on the ocean and I was really excited to paint with her.  I am not sure how it happened but before we knew it, we were planning a day of healing together. It just flowed from both of us easily and effortlessly. There was no struggle, only ease and grace. Kati painted the flyer as I painted the ocean.

I am amazed and grateful how this has unfolded so easily. We are on fire and so excited to share our gifts with women. The title is “This is What I am Here For.”  Celebration of your Divine Feminine Mother Earth.  Discover inner clarity about “This is what I am here for” as Divine Feminine grounded in the arms of Mother Earth.  Join in Celebration, Meditation, Revelation, Forgiveness, Healing, Visioning, Dancing, Ritual and Laughter as your gift to Self.It will be held on May, 11, 2013.

WATCH OUT MAUI BECAUSE KATI AND I ARE COMING OUT

I had totally forgotten about this until recently. My daughter, Mary, gave me the gift of an astrology reading for Christmas. I was really surprised when he said, “Something significant would happen in my career in the month of May.” I had given up “my career” and I didn’t understand.  I wasn’t interested in my career any more; I wanted to know when I was going to meet my soul mate – more waiting on this one!  God does have a sense of humor. I don’t know what’s ahead, not even sure I want a “career”  and that is okay. I will trust God’s will and timing.

Gods timing is perfect. “My good is revealed in diving timing. I choose not to struggle with or force circumstances in my life. I know the time will be right when I feel a nudge from Spirit to move in the right direction. I pay attention to my intuition, knowing that inner wisdom and divine understanding direct me.”

“Be Transformed by the renewal of your mind”

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Nov
20

As I sat down to write this blog, I had no idea what I was going to write about. Before I start to write something, I always pray that it will flow with peace, ease and grace and that I will write only what God wants me to write about.  Usually, I have a lesson that I have learned during the week or a miracle story that I want to share with you, but as I sat there staring at an empty page, I didn’t have a clue what I was going to write about.

Then, last Sunday, I bought a really pretty turquoise sundress for fifty cents at a yard sale.  I didn’t notice what was printed on the bottom of the dress until I got home.  As I looked at it closer, I saw it said “NEW AND GOOD AND NOT THE SAME.”  I asked myself, “What does that mean to me and why would I want to write about it in a blog? Who cares about what is on my dress?”  Since nothing was coming to me to write about, I decided to explore the meaning of this saying.

NEW AND GOOD AND NOT THE SAME.  I am not the same woman I was 1 year ago or last week for that matter.  In fact, sometimes, I don’t even recognize how I have changed and who I have become. “How am I new and what does it mean to be new?” I asked myself.  What came to mind was the scripture that said, “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” I also remember reading a book many years ago called “The battle is in the mind.”  I am not a scholar by any means, but what that means to me is that I will be made new and transformed by changing my thinking.

Over the year I have been like a detective with my thoughts and when I become aware of any negative thoughts or limiting beliefs that that are not true, I immediately work on changing them. For example, as I thought about my journey to Maui and the steps I took to live here (emotionally, spiritually and physically), I remembered a time when I was really struggling. I had been counting the days for months for my trip to Maui in 2011 and couldn’t wait until it arrived. I was going to Maui for a month and would be living on the ocean.  I didn’t understand what was going on because a couple of weeks prior to me going, I wasn’t feeling excited about going.

I couldn’t figure it out and was distressed and crying. I called my friend Linda and said, “I am really struggling and I don’t know what’s going on, could I please come over and we pray together.” Of course she said, “Come right over.”  I was in my pajamas and had no makeup on. I have never gone out with my pajamas and no makeup on, but I jumped in the car and went to her house.  When I arrived, she gave me a big reassuring hug. I knew I was safe as she listened to me and loved me right where I was. We prayed together and she did some energy work on me.  I was really surprised what came up.

What came up for me as we prayed was guilt and the thought, “How dare you leave your business for a month, you don’t deserve to go away for that long.”  I laughed when I realized I wasn’t making much money in my business anyway.  If I had not uncovered the belief of not feeling deserving and changed it, I may still be in Rhode Island and not living my dream.

I feel like I have given birth to something new in my life as I live and breathe the energy of LOVE. When I pass people on the street or the beach, I send them love. I have a CD that I sing along with daily that says “I love my heart and soul, I love all humanity. Join hearts and souls together, love, peace and harmony.”  I smile at people and they smile back at me.  You don’t have to live in Maui to experience the energy of love. It is inside of you and all around you. You are the presence of God in this world.  Go within and feel the love deep inside of you. It is there.  You are love.  You also deserve good things, to be provided for in every way.

This idea that I am loved and deserve to be provided for in every way is a lesson that I have been steadily learning for many years.  Right now I am reading a book called “Absolutely Effortless Prosperity” by Bijan and have been practicing daily the lessons that will transform your life in 30 days.  It is not “new” stuff and much of it I had already been living, so it is confirming what I know deep within my heart.  I particularly enjoyed today’s lesson called “How Prosperity Works. ” He writes, “To be prosperous without effort, we must first decide to make peace our ultimate goal. To be in peace, we must know that our only function in life is to heal ourselves and others through our expressions of love and forgiveness.”

Prosperity does not necessarily mean that we have hundreds of thousands of dollars in the bank. Prosperity is not about greed or excess; it is not about doing anything. Prosperity brings the knowledge and firm belief that everything we need will be provided for us. It was like a light bulb went off inside of me and something shifted deep within my consciousness.  It has been my experience that I HAVE BEEN PROVIDED FOR ALL MY LIFE.  It now felt easy and effortless to say “I AM PROSPEROUS.”  It doesn’t have anything to do with how much money I have or don’t have.

In the first chapter in my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” I write all about how God provided for me and my family (and friends), at yard sales over the years. Friends would ask me to look for something for them and I would always find it. I am happy to say, I am still the Yard Sale Queen in Maui and my friends here ask me to find things for them too.  For instance, my friends Joseph and Marlowe (you are really getting to know them) asked me to look for a bike pump. Sure enough, that Saturday I spotted a “super duper” bike pump and was so happy to deliver it to their home that afternoon.

As I look around my lovely Ohana, all I see is how God has provided for me and with prices that are dirt cheap. I have purchased curtains, lamps, rugs, baskets, trays, pillows, clothes, dressers and so much more. I always pray when I get in the car and ask God to provide and help me not buy anything that I don’t need. That prayer is heard and it delights my heart when I find exactly what I am looking for.

Prior to leaving for my trip to Kauai last week, I wanted to buy a new bathing suit. I went to the local consignment store called “Rainbow Attic” and found a beautiful brand new bathing suit that fit perfectly. I also found a matching beach cover up that I loved.  It was a 2 piece bathing suit (haven’t worn one since I was a teenager) and the top was strapless (never worn strapless). It looked great but I was a little concerned that it might fall down when I swam in the ocean.  I thought about buying some kind of a strap at the fabric store that I could use to hold it up when I went into the ocean.  The next day was Saturday and I planned on going “Yard Sailing.”  I found another brand new bathing suit for $3.00 that I loved. It was the same colors as the one I bought the day before, except this bathing suit was one piece and had straps that could come on or off.  I could hardly believe when I returned home that this “STRAP” fit both of my bathing suits. What is the likelihood of that happening?  I knew I was being provided for.

It is my belief that life is about change, trust, surrender, letting go, taking risks and following your heart . We are on this sacred journey together. Let us join our hearts together because we are the light of the world. You are being made new every day. Let your light shine and be the presence of God to all you meet and love.