As I sat with my friend, Barbara, leisurely sipping my Earl Grey Lavender tea in the coffee shop, I turned to her and said, “It feels so good to not have to PUSH.” It felt like we had all the time in the world and we were enjoying every minute of it. I felt relaxed, in the moment, present, trusting and peaceful. I smiled and said to her, “I am a RECOVERING PUSHER.” Not a pusher of drugs, thank God. This is not the only area I am recovering from as I am a recovering Catholic, rushaholic, controlaholic, perfectionist and people pleaser. Can you relate?
Many years ago, one of my friends commented, “You push yourself a lot.” It was so natural to push and I couldn’t stop myself, nor did I want to. It almost felt like a badge of honor and I felt proud of how I pushed. I realize today that I had to push myself to DO better, BE better, Be the BEST, perform and achieve.
Just thinking about this behavior now makes me feel exhausted. I didn’t know any better and I was afraid not to push. I wondered what would happen if I didn’t? Would everything fall apart and I wouldn’t get what I wanted and deserved? There was a hole inside of me that I was trying to fill from the outside.
Spirit is revealing to me that at the core of my pushing for so many years and all my addictions was FEAR-fear that I wasn’t good enough! No matter what I did, it was never good enough. This was a learned behavior to escape the pain, low self-esteem, no self-love and shame inside of me.
The opposite of pushing is relaxation. It’s no surprise that I have several signs around my home with RELAX on them. I need the reminder to relax, be present, enjoy and have fun. Since I have been a “pusher” for so many years, I will probably be tempted or inclined to push myself from time to time in an unhealthy way.
The good news is that it doesn’t feel good to push anymore because it creates stress in my life. When I become aware that I am pushing or rushing, I bring myself back to the present moment and breathe. It always works.
I was out of balance and lived much of my life from the masculine within which is about doing, pushing, goal oriented, comparing, perfection, and achieving. The divine feminine within is about receiving. nurturing, surrendering, going with the flow and trusting.
I’ve experienced so much growth and transformation in myself since I completed the Divine Feminine Mystery School in July. I can honestly say that for the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to be balanced within and to acknowledge my gifts that I bring to the world. It has taken me so many years to believe in myself and heal and release the trauma that I carried deep within my body. I am so grateful for the journey I have taken and my willingness to dive deep and not let fear rob me, as it did for so many years.
I have been given the opportunity to dive deep into the Divine Feminine and my power as a woman. I have embraced my feminine essence and will continue to embark on the path of self-healing, sexual awakening and transformation.
I am here to embody and serve the Divine Feminine in the world and to continue to balance the relationship between the male and female within myself. We need both our masculine and feminine to bring to the world.
I graduated from The Sacred Feminine Mystery School this week and am so proud of myself for following my heart and soul’s calling to facilitate workshops for women’s healing sexual wounding and releasing trauma from their bodies. I am a Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator and Licensed teacher of Sacred Awakening and Healing. This body of work has transformed my life and I am grateful and honored to bring this sacred healing to women. I have come into a new freedom, strength, balance and confidence in myself and am letting my light shine.
I love how angels show up in “airports” when I need them the most. Here is what happened as I traveled home from North Carolina this week. It was quite an adventure of surrendering and trust. Here is what happened.
I arrived at the airport at 4:00 am for a 5:30 flight out of Ashville, NC to Charlotte, NC. The flight was cancelled for 1 hour due to problems with the airplane. This meant that I wouldn’t make it to my next scheduled flight to Phoenix. Arizona.
My flight was rerouted and instead of going to Arizona, I was now going to Texas and my flight would be 8 hours long. When I arrived in Charlotte, I didn’t have much time to get to the boarding gate so I ran through the airport (baggage behind me) and arrived at the gate when all of the passengers were already on the plane. I felt like I was going to pass out and almost collapsed when I finally found my seat.
I checked with the stewardess about my next flight and how much time I had. She looked at me and said, “You don’t have much time because you have to go to another terminal, it will be very close and you might not make it. When we are ready to land, I will bring you up to an empty seat in the front so you can get off the plane quickly.” I felt so grateful because I knew she was my ANGEL in disguise.
I kept praying, surrendering, trusting. accepting and “remembering” what happened on my flight home from Costa Rica a few months ago when doors were opened and I felt like I had wings flying through the airport. I sure hoped Spirit would do that again.
The stewardess kept her word and guided me to the front of the plane right before we were about to land. I texted my daughter, Mary, and asked for prayers that I would make it to the next gate on time. She wrote back, “WINGS” and I responded, “ANGELS.”
I got off the plane quickly and ready to do another run for my money through the airport. As I walked out the door right in front of me was a man sitting with an airport shuttle. I must have looked confused and a bit dazed because he looked at me and said, “Would you like a ride?” OMG would I like a ride as I jumped on the shuttle with my baggage.
He then said, “May I look at your ticket to make sure the gate hasn’t changed.” I rummaged through my purse and handed it to him. He said, “They are boarding NOW and off we went beeping his horn, asking people to get out of the way as we raced through the airport. I sat there with tears running down my cheeks because I knew God had sent me an ANGEL with WINGS to get me to where I needed to go.
He took me as far as the shuttle would go, carried my suitcase up the escalator and then directed me to my next gate. I looked at him and said, “How did you know I needed a ride?” He just smiled as I thanked him for being my ANGEL. As he pulled away, I noticed the shuttle was for handicapped persons. I guess this is one of the perks of being older and having some grey hair and looking dazed.
Again, when I arrived at the gate, all of the passengers were already boarded and I was one of the last persons to board the plane. I would never have made it to the gate on time if it wasn’t for my ANGEL.
What I know is that God’s timing is PERFECT and God answers prayers.
I love how the Universe conspires to bring people together at the right and perfect time and in the perfect way. Some call it synchronicity because It almost feels like magic when it happens. When we are aligned with Spirit, we will find that this is happening more and more in our lives.
It has been a busy week for me and I have loved every minute of it. I was just about to leave my house to give my first presentation for the Awakening to Your Sacred Sexuality retreat on January 5-6 when the phone rang. I don’t usually answer it when it is a number I don’t recognize because of all the marketing calls I receive.
I decided to answer it and I am glad that I did. It was from a woman who wanted information about the workshop I was giving that night. She said, “I just saw your workshop online and I am very interested. I know I need to go deeper in healing my sexuality. I asked the Universe to guide me to the right place and this seems like exactly what I need.” We talked a few minutes about this healing practice and we both had the chills. She said, “I will be there tonight.” She came and loved it. She called the next day and said, “I feel validated by what I learned and want to make an individual appointment for a session with you this week”.
The workshop was fabulous and the women who attended were open and willing to share their beliefs and struggles about their own sexuality. I felt relaxed, prepared and on fire to share my experience of transformation and healing.
The next day I was interviewed on a radio show called “Gutsy Women.” I loved it as it brought back memories of when I had my own inspirational radio show years ago. I am getting more and more comfortable sharing this beautiful sacred energy healing with the world.
That same day I received another phone call from a 28 year- old woman named Melanie who had just seen the workshop advertised on the Wailea Healing Center’s website. I shared that the Awakening and Healing practice is about clearing trauma whether it be physical, emotional, spiritual or sexual abuse from our bodies that can be from this lifetime or past lifetimes.
Melanie followed her heart and had recently moved to Maui by herself. She has been working on her sexuality as memories came up of childhood sexual abuse. She knew she needed deeper healing and was ready to release the trauma. After we discussed the value of attending the weekend, she signed up immediately and sent me her deposit.
Here is a testimony to show the power of this sacred sexuality healing.
“I have never experienced anything like this in my 69 years young. The Awakening and Healing sessions with Pat have been powerful, transformational, healing, sacred, profound and gentle all in the same time. Although I trusted Pat, I felt uncomfortable and scared the first session. I wasn’t able to feel much of anything including Pat’s touch in parts of my body that were numb due to sexual abuse starting at the age of 3 to 12. I wanted to release all that I had repressed for so many years and I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to remove blockages that robbed me all of my life of my sexuality and pleasure. Each session has been different and I have gone deeper into the pain that I repressed for so many years. I felt heat and divine energy moving up my chakras and flowing through Pat’s healing touch. It felt like electricity moving through my whole body. When I went home after one of the sessions, my whole body felt like it was on fire inside and outside and it lasted for four hours. After four sacred sessions with Pat, I feel new life coming into my body and I am feeling joy, happiness, and new sensations in my body like I have never felt before. Thank you, Pat, for you have truly found your life purpose and are making a profound difference in the world. I felt a deep connection, presence and love with you.” Sharon Lund
I received this email from a woman this week.
“I think most women need sexual healing, including those who haven’t been sexually abused. I have met so many dishonest guys that I am insecure and non-trusting in relationships. I have met many women who were in a relationship like marriage and were cheated on and now have major trust issues. I have been told that because my mother was sexually abused by her stepfather, that energy is still in me.”
Women are standing in their feminine power and speaking up about their abuse and trauma. It is time for awakening and healing. I feel so blessed for my own healing and now teaching women about the Awakening and Healing.
As I sit on the plane waiting for it to take off, my heart is full of gratitude and awe. I am returning to Maui from Oakland, California after assisting Amrita Grace at the Awakening and Healing Sacred Sexuality weekend.
The only way I can describe what I am feeling is that I am on FIRE to share this sacred, holy work with all women. This work is powerful and profound as well as gentle and safe. I have EXPANDED and gone deeper than I ever thought possible. I am healing trauma and deep wounding in my body from this life time and past generations.
What a great opportunity to assist Amrita and learn how to lead a weekend workshop. Learning to teach this work is one of the best decisions I have made. When I complete my training, I will be able to teach this practice all over the world. How good it that and in divine timing.
Being on the “other side” as an assistant, I watched the women on the weekend transform before my very eyes. The women faced their fears and embraced the Goddess and power within. It was extraordinary and beautiful to be a part of.
As part of my six- month training to become a Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator, I will be leading a workshop along with 2 of my classmates on Maui on January 5-6. The weekend is starting to fill up and we are so excited.
On the plane ride to Oakland for the workshop, I experienced a DIVINE set-up or what I call a GodIncidence. I sat next to a young woman that when we started talking, we didn’t stop for 4 hours.
She is a videographer and just finished shooting a spiritual retreat at Lumeria Retreat Center here on Maui. She lives in Mexico and Is a yoga teacher and retreat leader herself. The door opened for me to share about the Awakening and Healing sacred sexuality weekend when she asked, “What are you going to California for?”
After I shared my journey of healing from sexual abuse, she shared she was drugged and raped by a co-worker recently and hadn’t talked about it or had any therapy for it. I validated her. listened to her story and encouraged her to seek treatment. I invited her to attend the workshop here on Maui in January. She seemed excited about attending it and will let me know if it will work for her. She also said, “Perhaps you can come to Mexico to teach about sacred sexuality.”
I was led to share with her that I was an Alcohol and Drug therapist for 20 years. That opened another door that was extremely meaningful. She shared her family dynamics as her mother is an active alcoholic. She also shared how she always attracts men who have addiction problems and didn’t understand why.
I shared my story of growing up with an alcoholic mother and what I did to heal. I told her about 12 step programs and how they helped me understand the disease and recover. She was so receptive and said, “I will definitely check out meetings when I return home.”
Holy moly, I could not have chosen a better woman to sit next to so I could share my gifts and wisdom. As the plane was about to land and we exchanged emails and phone numbers, she looked at me and said, “When I was walking up the aisle to find my seat, I prayed and asked God to let me sit next to someone who would have a message for me.”
I know more than ever that I am always guided and provided for when I listen and follow my heart. I “show up” and trust there is a divine plan and God’s timing is always perfect.
An invitation to come to Maui and be healed and transformed
AWAKENING TO YOUR SACRED SEXUALITY
- RECONNECT with your body, embrace your full feminine potential
- HEAL trauma that keeps you small and inhibited
- AWAKEN and nourish your powerful life force energy
- IGNITE your Divine Power in a uniquely feminine way
- RECLAIM your Passion, Power, Pleasure and Creativity
- EXPERIENCE more self-love, joy, expansion and vitality in your life
- SPEAK your truth with confidence, peace, ease and grace
This workshop is a great way to get introduced to sacred sexual awakening and healing (AH) in a safe, clear impeccable step-by-step process. The AH practice is a self-healing modality for clearing trauma, shame and blocks to pleasure and enjoyment. We hold trauma, emotional and energetic imprints in our bodies that can be released with this unique, transformational healing.
Facilitators: Pat Hastings-Burns, Antisk Atma, Barbara Lezynski
Date: January 5 & 6, 2019
Time: 9 am to 5 pm
Place: Waleia Healing Center, Maui HI
Price: $250 early bird special
To Sign Up Contact: Pat Hastings-Burns 401-862-8859
As I shared in my last blog, I was led to attend the “Sacred Feminine Awakening and Healing Retreat” on Maui this past week. Thank you for your prayers. It was very appreciated.
I have been given the KEYS to unlock the door of my heart to reclaim my life force energy and receive new life, freedom, passion, enlightenment, transformation and healing. Because of the sexual abuse, I dissociated from my body and wouldn’t allow myself to receive sexual pleasure. I was happy to give sexual pleasure, but had difficulty receiving it. As women, our birthright is pleasure.
I believe the KEYS to my sexual healing was my WILLINGNESS, FAITH, COURAGE and a strong desire to heal deeply. Spirit had prepared me for this retreat that I needed and I was guided each step of the way by Spirit. I am so grateful for my “YES” and that I didn’t let fear rob me as it had for many years. Instead, with the grace of God, I faced my fear head on. Alleluia!
It is hard to put into words my experience, but I will try to capture it and share it with you. I have been on the healing/ spiritual path for over 40 years and have had lots of therapy, groups, retreats, but I have never experienced anything like this in all my years. I knew it was time to take my sexual power back, as well as clear lifetimes of trauma.
My experience was profound, deep, sacred, holy and powerful. There were women from the US, as well as from France, Peru, Argentina, Switzerland, Ireland and Equador. The love and sisterhood that was created was extraordinary. We were women sharing and healing one another through our bodies and loving one another. Because we are all connected what each of us does impacts all women.
Our leaders, Amrita Grace, and Caroline Muir, created a loving, sacred and safe container for all of us to open our hearts and heal trauma. We laughed, cried, played, swam, danced and meditated together I was surprised that several of the women had not been sexually abused, but were wounded and repressed from childhood, past relationships. both culturally and from their religion.
After attending the retreat and my sexual awakening and healing, something stirred inside of me and it felt like my soul was inviting me to work with women and teach them about this sacred experience.
After praying and meditating to discern if it was God’s will and talking to Larry about it, I decided to apply for the 6-month teacher training program to become a “Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator.” I had just paid for the retreat and now I was considering putting out a big chunk of money again. GULP. I trusted the money would be provided if this was truly in alignment with God’s will. I knew that stepping out in faith before the money arrived is essential for my growth.
I felt this was a call from Spirit, but I didn’t know if I would even be eligible for this training. When I called Amrita to discuss this, she was excited and said, “You are the perfect kind of woman that I want to attract into the program.” We both had chills and tears were rolling down my cheeks.
I love surprises, synchronicities, as well as how Spirit guides and provides for me. The same day I made the decision to move forward and say YES to the certification, I received a call from my son, Brian, telling me he had a buyer for my house in Providence that hadn’t even been put on the market yet. To make it even better, the buyer was going to pay cash. Oh, happy day!
God always provides when I step out in faith, listen. trust and act. Receiving the news of my house being sold on the same day I called Amrita to apply was a confirmation that I am aligned with God’s will for my life. I am very excited (and scared) about this opportunity to serve and support women, even though I was not looking for another career. I love the saying, “We make plans and God laughs.”
I truly believe that every woman would benefit from this sacred, holy experience. I have been awakened and given birth to myself.
I share my sacred journey to inspire you and show you how Spirit speaks to me and how I am guided so you can hear Spirit speak to you and be guided in your life.
It all started with the dream I had last week, which I know originated from the wisdom of my soul. I am stepping into the mystery to places where I’ve never been before. It’s scary and exciting at the same time and I know I will learn to love myself more deeply and consciously.
I’m trusting divine guidance that I am being led to the next step of my awakening. I’ve worked with my dreams for many years and know how powerful they are when I listen and take action. In my dream last week, I am moving into a new house. This is a significant dream because it means that I am growing in consciousness and something new is about to be born in my life.
I prayed and meditated and asked God to show me the meaning of the dream because I had no idea what it was about. I waited and trusted I would be shown.
A couple of days later while on my morning walk, I put my headphones on and asked Spirit to guide me to an audio on my phone that would be for my highest good. I was led to listen to an audio that I taped 2 years ago that I had never listened to. It was an interview with Caroline Muir, international author and founder of Divine Feminine Awakening School. She is dedicated to supporting women and couples in achieving sexual fulfillment with sacred intimacy.
It was a powerful interview that touched my heart deeply. She said, “Pleasure is your birthright and that you need to give yourself permission to be the love that you are and bring spirituality into the bedroom.” Wow, that opened my ears!
As soon as I arrived home from my walk, I checked out her website because I wanted to learn more about her. I watched a video of Caroline working with a woman who had sexual trauma that blew me away. Something deep inside of me stirred my soul and I wanted more.
As I explored her website, I found a week- long retreat called “Divine Feminine Awakening & Healing” on Maui that she was leading with another woman. At first, I dismissed it because it was expensive and I didn’t think I could afford it nor did I think I deserved to spend that kind of money on myself. But something inside of me couldn’t let it go. I discussed it with Larry and he supported me to do what I needed to do for my healing.
I prayed and asked Spirit for a message about attending the retreat. I asked, “Is the new home I am moving into about exploring and healing my sexuality on a deeper level?”
“Yes, I am inviting you to explore, discover and heal trauma in your body. There is nothing to be afraid of because I am leading you and you are safe. Your spirituality and sexuality are one. It’s TIME and you are ready. There is more. Trust me.”
THIS RETREAT IS FOR WOMEN WHO ARE READY TO:
- Activate and Expand your dormant Life Force Energy
- Heal personal, lineage, & cultural trauma
- Reclaim your Juicy Vitality and Passionate Aliveness
- Ignite your Power in a uniquely Feminine way
- Gain Potent Tools to support other women’s healing
- Become a Clear Channel for what wants to be Birthed through You
- Deepen Sisterhood Community with a New Way of Bonding
I’m ready to reclaim my power and my juicy vitality and life force energy to be activated. I WANT MORE. I DESERVE MORE and I’m willing to face the demons that have robbed me all of my life because of sexual abuse. IT’S TIME.
Please keep me in your prayers as the retreat is from 4-21 to 4-28. As a woman of Faith, it is synchronistic that the retreat house is on Door of Faith Rd. I truly believe that by saying YES to this retreat, I am giving myself the ULTIMATE GIFT OF SELF-LOVE.
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Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
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