What men think of CHANGE
There were several lessons or opportunities that I could have written about this week, but it would have probably been only a sentence or two, not a whole blog. Spirit is faithful and has never let me down over the last 9 years that I have been writing the blogs. I prayed and asked to be led to share what would be for the highest good for all.
This is what I received when I opened my email this morning. “Appreciation is the magic formula you’ve been seeking.” —Abraham
It is my belief that the more I appreciate myself, the more I appreciate other people in my life. I not only appreciate other people but I am learning to appreciate everything in my life. I have an “Appreciation Practice” that I practice every night before I fall off to sleep.
Instead of a nightly review of the day in my mind about where I need to change or grow or what I don’t like about myself, I think about all that I appreciate about MYSELF that day. Sometimes the list is short and other times it is quite long. Nothing is too small and it really feels good when I am done thinking of things I appreciate about myself. Often during the day, if I am tempted to say or do something that is not aligned with Spirit, I will think about the appreciation practice at night and it helps me to do the right thing.
Having a daily practice like this motivates me the next day to do the same things and more. Often during my prayer and meditation, someone will come to mind that Spirit wants me to reach out to. I send a quick text reminding them that they are loved. Larry has seen me on my phone during prayer and says, “Pat is calling God.”
To give you an example of what this look likes, I will share some of the things I appreciate about myself. Of course, this is an accumulation of things I appreciate and every day is different. These are simple things and not great things. Of course, your list will be different if you choose to do this.
- I appreciate that I did my weights this morning
- I appreciate that I ate healthy and stayed away from sugar
- I appreciate that I kept my mouth shut when I really wanted to speak my mind
- I appreciate that I was kind to the cashier at the supermarket
- I appreciate that I called my friend to say hello and send love
- I appreciate that I didn’t judge someone that I wanted to
- I appreciate that I had a “Pat Day” and played and had fun
- I appreciate that I processed my anger and was able to let it go
- I imprecate that I said no because I didn’t want to do something
- I appreciate that I prayed and meditated
- I appreciate that I set boundaries and spoke up
- I appreciate that I let go of control
- I appreciate the choices I made that brought me peace
- I appreciate how I take care of my body, mind and Spirit
- I appreciate how I am asking Spirit for guidance in everything
- I appreciate how I love my family and friends
- I appreciate my creativity
- I appreciate how I trust God to provide for all of my needs
- I appreciate how I am able to receive all that is given to me
- I appreciate that I kept my word
- I appreciate that I listened to Spirit for guidance and followed through
- I appreciate how I chose LOVE instead of FEAR
I encourage you to try this practice and let me know how it works. I guarantee you that miracles will happen. Maryann Williamson ays, “A miracle is a change in thinking.” Rather than focusing on what’s missing or lacking in your life, your focus is on what’s working and what is good. When we do this, we attract more good into our lives.
I know that some people are wondering why I changed my mind about marriage after being so against marrying again. I don’t know if I can really explain the“shift” in me that led to my wanting to marry Pat. I know that if Pat had nagged or pushed me to marry her, I would probably not have experienced the “shift” that occurred. Sometimes when the energy of love is present, things happen and we can’t explain why or how.
I began thinking again of how different males and females think and how different our perspectives are. I am a lot more conservative than Pat and she is much more flexible and creative than I am. I’m not as open to change as much as she is. I think it may be a male thing. When I’m in a good place and life is going along perfectly, I don’t want to change it. I just want to take time to enjoy it. Pat likes to make choices that would expand our awareness and that sometimes means making changes.
If I hadn’t decided to take a chance and commit to a serious relationship, we wouldn’t be where we are now, living together and engaged to be married. It was a big decision for me to move in together because I was happy living alone in my own place.
I wasn’t all that keen on taking a cruise to Australia almost two years ago and that turned out great.
If I hadn’t changed my mind and gone on the Hawaii cruise, (I really didn’t want to do at first),
I don’t know if I would have experienced the “shift” in me that started me thinking that perhaps marriage could be in our future.
When Pat suggests that we do something out of the ordinary that will stretch me my default seems to be NO THANK YOU! She has learned to plant the seed, back off and let me think about it. Sometimes after I think about the suggestion for awhile, I come around.
I’m thinking that the energy of LOVE is always calling us to a greater consciousness, encouraging us to grow by recognizing our fears and deleting them from our lives. From my experience, sometimes that can be very uncomfortable. What’s important to me is that I continue my journey and not allow fear to determine which direction to go.
Larry said, “YES”
What is most important to me is to be conscious of God’s will in my life, and there is peace in my heart when I am. There are times when I need to discern what God’s will is for me and I do that through prayer and meditation.
It can be confusing and frustrating when I don’t know what to do next and have to wait for guidance. Like most of us, I don’t like to wait, and I am often impatient. Eventually, the guidance I am seeking comes and shows up in many different ways: through a dream, another person, reading something in a book, seeing something on a billboard or a license plate, or just a deep knowing about what I need to do next in my life.
As Spirit guides me and I know what my next step is, I must be willing to take action and follow my heart, even when my head says, NO WAY. I shared a few weeks ago that I wanted to celebrate my 70th birthday in a special way and go on a cruise, but Larry decided he didn’t want to go.
Through the grace of God, I felt peaceful and had surrendered not going on a cruise for my birthday. I had accepted that it wasn’t God’s will and was able to let it go. Through a series of unrelated events and emails that I received after writing the blog, I started to think about it again.
I felt conflicted and went within to ask myself some questions, “Am I being selfish and wanting my own way? Is this desire to celebrate my birthday on a cruise from God? Am I making a big deal out of this that will create problems for Larry and me? Am I denying myself something that I really want and that is important to me?”
When I shared my struggle with my friend, Kati, she asked me, “What do you really want to do for your birthday?” I said, “I don’t know.” At that point, I really didn’t know what I wanted because I had accepted that I wasn’t going and had let it go.
That night when I went to bed, I asked God for a dream to help me discern God’s will. I did receive a dream and worked with it in the morning. It was clear that I really did want to go on a cruise and that I wasn’t being honest with myself or Larry.
How often in my life did I stay stuck (and didn’t get what I wanted) because I said I didn’t know what I wanted? It was probably easier to not speak up because I didn’t want to rock the boat. I also wouldn’t be disappointed if I just denied my needs and desires and kept my mouth shut. This clearly doesn’t work for me anymore.
Once I admitted that this is what I really wanted to do for my birthday, I made the decision to go on the cruise by myself if Larry still didn’t want to go. I trusted that the money would show up as it had so many times in the past when God led me to step out in faith. I was letting my heart lead me and not my head with all the reasons it wouldn’t work and I couldn’t go.
I contacted Norwegian Cruise Line again to discuss the Hawaiian island cruise. To my delight and surprise, the agent informed me that there was a significant ($1,300) discount for people who lived in Hawaii. I could afford this cruise if I went alone or if Larry joined me.
When Larry came home that afternoon, I shared with him what was going on and the dream I had worked with. I said, “This is what I really want to do for my birthday. I would love for you to join me, but I am fine going by myself if you choose not to go with me”.
When we trust God and follow our hearts, all things work for the good and there is peace in our hearts. I am grateful to be living in God’s perfect will for me.
Being in a love relationship is so much more than it seems at “first sight.” You know how it goes. You meet someone and are attracted to each another. You spend a lot of time together getting to know each other. You realize that you are very compatible and then “BANG” you decide to become a couple in a committed relationship and then live happily ever after.
Well, you may live happily ever after and you may not. My experience with failed relationships has taught me that it requires a lot of work especially on my part. I am continuously finding opportunities to change, grow, and learn and not to RESIST WHAT IS.
Life and relationships are so much about CHOICES.
- How do I know which choice will be the best?
- Will the choice I make be better for me or for my partner?
- Will the choice I make be better for our relationship?
- Am I being selfish if I make the choice that is best for me?
- Am I being true to myself with the choice I am making?
Of course, being in a relationship is not always about “ME.” Sometimes, it’s about US and doing things I may not want to do. It could be an opportunity to be understanding to the needs of my partner.
The latest opportunity for me in our relationship has been when Pat wanted to take a cruise to celebrate her birthday. My initial response was, “I really don’t want to do that cruise since I have been on the Hawaiian Island cruise before and didn’t see the value staying in Maui for a day and a half on a ship when I live here.”
Initially I said, “If you really want me to go I will go with you.” As I thought more about it, I said, “No, I really don’t want to go.” She understood and affirmed me for saying no, which has been difficult for me in the past. She didn’t want me to go if I didn’t really want to so she tried to figure out a way to go by herself, but found that was too expensive.
I was relieved and thought the issue was closed. I guess it wasn’t because a week later she decided to go by herself, regardless of the expense. She invited me to join her, but said she would go either way.
I knew then that this was really important to her and I didn’t want her to go alone. So I changed my mind and agreed to go on the cruise with her. I am CHOOSING to see this as an opportunity to make a loving choice for Pat and have a fun time together, regardless of where the cruise is going. I realized how happy I am to have her in my life to experience these adventures together.
Since she is really excited about the cruise and it brings her much joy, I agreed to go even though I am not as enthusiastic as she is, I am happy to accompany her and will be positive and supportive and look forward to having a great time with her.
Being in a relationship is like a dance. When you are dancing and moving to the beat and rhythm of the music and you’re in sync with one another, it’s a wonderful experience. I think being in a relationship is about trying to incorporate the beat and rhythm of each other’s personalities, perspectives, wishes and desires. When we accomplish this through love, compassion, generosity and flexibility, it becomes a wonderful experience.
I hope in your relationship you have found the beat and rhythm that continues to make it a wonderful experience.
How I DELETE when fear rears it’s head
“The more serendipity we have in our life, the more spiritually connected we are. We’re tuned in, attentive, aware, and detached. We’re getting responses to questions and meeting the people we need to be with at just the right moments. We couldn’t have planned it better. We couldn’t have planned it at all. Serendipity is a sign that we’re letting the universe organize the events that lead to answered questions and fulfilled dreams. Life becomes a process of unraveling a mystery.” Robert Fulghum
When I heard the news that the New Thought inspirational leader, Dr. Wayne Dyer had passed over, I was shocked and saddened. He had such a powerful presence in this world and was still so active in the community. Over the years, I have read many of his books, watched PBS specials and attended a conference in Florida with him. His book, “Change Your Thinking – Change Your Life” was life changing for me and millions of others. Dr. Dyer had completed his work on this planet to go onto his “NEXT ADVENTURE.”
I learned of his passing on Sunday night, right before I went to bed. I didn’t sleep well thinking about him and what his family must be going through. It is my understanding that he died on Saturday night from a heart attack. On Saturday morning, I found Wayne Dyer’s brand new “Inner Peace” cards at a yard sale. “Wasn’t that serendipitous?” I thought.
On Sunday morning, as I was preparing to leave the house, I looked out over the ocean and witnessed the most amazing rainbow extending over the whole sky. I had never seen one quite that beautiful with the vibrant orange and purple colors and it lasted for quite a long time. Of course, I had no idea that Wayne Dyer had passed over during the night. Could this be a sign from God that he was on to his “NEXT ADVENTURE” and God was welcoming him back home? I like to think it was!
As I said, I had a difficult time sleeping on Sunday night when I heard of his passing. In the morning, while trying to meditate and understand the meaning of his death, I sensed in my spirit, God saying, “This is a wake-up call for the world.”
For me, the wake-up call means that I am not promised tomorrow or the next moment. All I have is today and this precious moment God has given me to live in love or fear. It is my CHOICE. We all have the choice to trust God and live in faith, knowing we have everything we need in this MOMENT. The future is not here and may not ever be here. So why do we worry about what is not here yet? Is it a habit or an addiction? Worrying is an illusion and never helps anyone. What will it take for us to let go, surrender and trust God that all is well and we are being taken care of?
Like all of you, I am not immune to fear. When I allow myself to stay in fear because of negative thinking, I am robbed of the present moment. If I think about what could happen in the future, (especially not having enough money to live on Maui or Larry becoming ill and dying), I lose my peace and my mind is like a blender. When I become aware of what I call “future tripping” I immediately say to myself DELETE, DELETE. Some days I am doing a lot of deleting! I also REMEMBER all the times that God has provided for me in the past.
I recently heard Dr. Dyer on a radio show speaking about how he was ready for his “NEXT ADVENTURE.” I wondered to myself, if he knew he was going to die the next day, would he have done anything differently? I believed he lived his life with love and on purpose. What would you do differently if you knew you were going to die tomorrow? All that would matter to me if I knew I was going to die tomorrow is that I was with my loved ones and they knew how much I loved them. Because Love is all there is.
Serendipitously, Larry and I were scheduled to attend a workshop called “Sacred Living, Sacred Dying” with Sharon Lund on Monday morning. I was still feeling sad about Dr. Dyer’s death and thought it was timely that we were taking the workshop that day. I wondered what talking about “Sacred Dying” would bring up for me. It was a great interactive workshop and I learned a lot of valuable information that I will implement in my life. I really appreciated exploring what we wanted and didn’t want for our final “celebration of life” as well as leaving a legacy of love for our loved ones.
When I left the workshop, I felt excited about working on my final “celebration of life.” I wasn’t excited about dying, but not afraid to die either. I felt excited about celebrating how I am living my life today and the life I have created. I can truly say that I am living my life to the fullest and would not have any regrets if I were to die tomorrow. I am grateful that I am living my mission to love and to inspire others to find the God within. I am ready for the NEXT ADVENTURE, whatever that may be. Larry shares his experiences about how he chooses love instead of fear.
We’ve all had experiences in our lives that help us to remember how fragile life is and that remind us to live in the moment because that’s what’s real and we never know when it will be our last moment.
When I heard about Dr. Wayne Dyer’s passing, like Pat, I felt shocked and saddened by his sudden death. There’s a part of me that wonders why a person so talented and so in touch with spirit would be taken from us, it seems we need more philosophers and inspirational teachers to help us with our journey, not less. Then there is a part of me that reasons that we don’t know God’s plan and all we are promised is this moment. Dr. Wayne Dyer has crossed over and is on to another adventure, his spirit will continue to live on through his books and writings. He will continue to touch many souls as he has touched mine.
When I heard about Dr. Dyer’s death, it brought home to me that I am a year older than he was. We never know when our train will reach its final destination, do we? Before my train comes into the station I want to live, laugh, and love in the NOW because that’s all we really have.
Although I don’t think I fear death, fear is something we all have to deal with. We react many ways to fear: we sometimes run and hide, we may become angry and strike out physically or psychologically. Fear sometimes causes us to shut down emotionally. As I look back on raising my two boys, I think some of my decisions were based in fear. For example: If I didn’t discipline them, I was fearful that they would get into trouble and get into drugs or crime. If they didn’t receive a good education, I was fearful they wouldn’t be able to make it on their own. I was fearful that if I didn’t teach them to take responsibility for their actions they would grow up blaming someone or something for their failures or unhappiness. These are good qualities to instill in our children, but better done from love rather than fear. Now when I recognize fear, I handle it differently.
As I walk my journey, I have discovered that the single most powerful energy known to humankind is “LOVE.” I believe there is nothing stronger than the power of “LOVE.” Fear disguises itself so well, sometimes I have a difficult time identifying it in my life. I have developed a habit of consciously choosing LOVE and deleting fear when I realize that fear is raising its ugly head, I simply say “I delete fear and I choose LOVE.” I continue to say that until I feel the fear disappear and the peace and love enter my being. It works incredibly well for me.
I’m not that comfortable with dentist’s and doctor’s appointments so when I have an appointment I will take a few moments and just declare that I’m not going to let fear into my life. I consciously choose LOVE. Any time you feel fearful, stressed, judged, unappreciated, unworthy, I encourage you to open your heart to the energy and light of LOVE. I think you will be glad you did.
Someone asked me, “If you knew you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do differently today?” I think I am probably the happiest man in the world. I wake up every day with a heart filled with gratitude and thanksgiving. I have everything I want. I live in the most beautiful place on earth (to me anyway) and there is no other place I would rather be than with a wonderful, beautiful woman whom I love and who loves me. There is nothing I would do differently. I would spend the day with my sweetheart enjoying each other and our environment and try to be the best vessel of love I could be.
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