I made a decision that I would not allow fear to rob me of my peace. Whenever I thought about my new health issues, I said “I choose LOVE.” I said it constantly! It really worked because I didn’t lose my peace and even felt detached from it all, which was truly a miracle.
What could have caused Larry and I to be in a state of worry and panic choosing LOVE kept us centered and peaceful. It all started when I asked my doctor to do some blood tests because I was feeling more tired than usual. I have a history of anemia and thought for sure that I was anemic again.
In my prayer about the upcoming visit with the doctor, Spirit said, “Trust in me always, knowing everything has been planned so there is no need to worry or obsess. Just accept and let go. DO NOT LET THE DOCTOR PUT FEAR INTO YOU. She will make it worse than it is so it is important for you to stay calm and not buy into it. Stay centered knowing I am with you and all is well.”
I wasn’t alarmed when the nurse called a few days later and” asked me to come in to see the doctor because I thought she would be treating me for anemia.
I kept remembering what Spirit had said to me before my appointment, “Stay calm and centered and don’t let the doctor put fear into you.” As she looked over my blood/ labs tests, I could tell that it was more than anemia.
She said, “Your white blood cell count is higher than it should be and your platelets are very high. I recommend you see a hematologist /oncologist.” I was stunned and said, “Why would I see an oncologist and what are they looking for?” She said, “We want to rule out cancer. We will call the oncologist and make a referral today.”
To say that I was in shock would be an understatement. Just hearing the word cancer and that they wanted to rule it out left me speechless. I left the office in a daze, wanting to break down and cry. I didn’t want to call Larry and tell him the news over the phone.
When I got to my car, I breathed deeply to calm myself down. I had to talk to someone so I called my daughter, Mary, to tell her the news. Thankfully, she calmed me down and didn’t allow me to escalate it. I don’t remember what she said, but I felt better and was able to center myself. Of course, when I shared the news with Larry, he was concerned, but very supportive and loving. In prayer and meditation, here is what I affirmed for myself:
Iwill trust and delete worry and fear.
I will stay centered, calm, and peaceful.
I will accept what is.
I will have faith that all is well.
I will stay positive and see only perfect health for myself.
I will choose LOVE instead of fear.
Larry and I both felt strongly that Spirit was giving us the opportunity to choose LOVE instead of fear and we promised each other to choose LOVE when we felt afraid. When I prayed about it Spirit said, “You are choosing LOVE and when you choose LOVE, there is no fear. Fear is an illusion and fear and worry are a waste of energy. Your faith will carry you through. Ego will try to rob you of your peace so be aware of your thoughts and what comes up.”
Thankfully, I was able to get an appointment with the oncologist within a few days. I knew in my heart that I didn’t have cancer. Larry came with me for my appointment and we were both very peaceful and and even laughed in the car when I didn’t know the doctor’s name. I knew the address and I had his telephone number. Of course, when we arrived at the office, his name was on the board and there wasn’t a problem.
You can imagine the relief and joy we felt when the doctor looked at us and said, “You don’t have cancer.” God is good! I may have an infection in my body that is causing inflammation around heart and platelets to be high, which doctor reassured me is treatable. I appreciate your prayers as I move through this health challenge. I see myself as healed, whole and healthy.
I share this with you to encourage you to choose LOVE instead of fear. It doesn’t have to be a health issue, but can be anything in your life that you are fearful about and robbing you of your peace.
Love is all there is.
People often comment to me that I inspire them. I love to hear that because it is truly my mission and desire to INSPIRE people to “go within” and find God. I believe that it is only by “going within” that I have discovered Love and embraced my greatness, power and divinity. I want everyone to know that the same Love, greatness and divinity is inside of them. Here is a part of an email that I received from a woman after reading our last blog. It touched my heart.
“I loved your post today. Both you and Larry’s writing really spoke to me and I want to start changing the way I live. I get up each day and feel like I go from branch to branch like a monkey and before I know it, half the day is over and I don’t know where it goes. I want to change that. Thank you for leading me to “The Spirit Post.” I want to take the time each day now when I awake to read one article, poem to start my day. You both have lifted my spirit weekly when I receive your posts. I want to thank you and Larry for giving me just what I was looking for to keep me centered in my spiritual world. I had gotten away from my spirituality and I feel you both have helped to bring it back.”
I am celebrating my 4th year anniversary of moving to Maui. The gratitude and joy I feel is beyond words and indescribable. I didn’t know HOW I could do it nor did I have the answers before I took the leap of faith and followed my heart 5,000 miles away from all I loved in my life. I just knew I had to follow my heart. Even though I couldn’t see what was ahead for my future, I trusted God to lead me and stepped out in faith.
When I was in the throes and thick of fear while writing my book, I often cried myself to sleep because I didn’t know HOW to do it or think that I COULD DO IT! I felt so overwhelmed by the whole ordeal of publishing and marketing a book that I put my manuscript to bed for a whole year. I said to God, “You have chosen the wrong person, I am not doing it.” I didn’t care that I had already spent lots of money and time on editing and writing workshops. What is interesting is that I didn’t know it was FEAR. I was in total DENIAL and told myself, “I just don’t want to do it.”
It wasn’t until I was preparing to lead a retreat called, “Love is letting go of fear” that my eyes were opened. Until I admitted to myself, God and another person that it was fear, I stayed stuck with a manuscript almost finished in my drawer. Once I admitted that is was fear, I asked God for help. I asked to be led and literally within 2 days my answers came and I had the direction I needed to finish my book. It was a year later, (after 6 years of writing) that “Simply a Woman of Faith” was published.
My God is patient and waited for a year for me to come around and say YES to His plan. I had to be willing, surrender my doubts and fears and ask for guidance. I am so grateful for God’s grace and that I trusted God’s plan for my life. What I know with all my heart is that God’s plan is to prosper me and it is always GOOD. God has placed your dreams and desires in your heart and will help you manifest them. You don’t need to know HOW they will happen. All you need to know is what your dreams are.
Is God calling you to step out of the boat and take a leap of faith into the unknown? It may be leaving a marriage that is no longer working or a job that bores you to death and you are not living your dream? Only you know what is in your heart and what is holding you back. Don’t let your dreams die inside of you.
If I hadn’t identified my fears and asked for help, I would not be living with my soul mate on Maui and living the life of my dreams. Fear is useless, what is needed is trust. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.
Do we realize how much we allow fear to affect our lives? How often do we allow fear to determine what decisions we make or don’t make. Fear is so insidious and hides itself so completely that we don’t even know it’s there inside of us making our lives miserable. The more we allow fear to go unrecognized, the worse it gets. Have you ever been in a situation where you just can’t make a decision and you don’t know why?
When I sold my catering business I was 45 years old and had to find a way to make a living. I didn’t want to admit it, but fear was my constant companion. I felt frightened and alone. I was going through a divorce after 21 years of marriage and had to find a new place to live and get used to living alone. I struggled with this because my life had changed so dramatically in a short time. It’s very difficult for a man to admit that he’s afraid because we are taught to be strong, macho and the protectors. Fear is viewed as weak and shameful.
I think many men push fear down and medicate it with one addiction or another. We are often not even aware that it is fear- related. After a while I thought, “Perhaps I’d like to meet someone but dating over the last 21 years had really changed. Being 20 years older didn’t help with my self- confidence either.” Just the thought of dating was scary. Did I want to put myself out there, become vulnerable and take the risk of getting hurt again? I struggled through that and at times it wasn’t pretty, but I persevered and eventually I became comfortable with the single life and dating again. As I look back at those years, I think it could have been a lot easier if I had the consciousness that I have today.
What I didn’t realize back then was that I had a choice. There is another power available to us that is stronger than fear, more powerful than anything created by humankind, that is the power of LOVE! We don’t have to go through life’s difficulties alone and allow fear to paralyze us.
I have learned that LOVE is the energy and light of GOD. LOVE is offered to us every moment of every day. We can’t earn it because it is a gift just waiting to be accepted. I can choose fear or I can choose LOVE. I know this sounds simple and it is, but it’s not easy. I had to stop thinking that I wasn’t worthy or good enough to receive LOVE. I learned love cannot be earned. Like most of us, I’ve made mistakes in my life and, at times, felt like I haven’t measured up. How many of you have felt that way? I realized LOVE is never a question of worthiness. We just need to be open to receive the unconditional gift that is being offered.
You may want to try this response the next time you feel fear threatening you. I say something like this, “I am not accepting fear in this situation, I delete all fearful thoughts, I CHOOSE THE POWER OF LOVE. I DELETE FEAR AND CHOOSE LOVE, I DELETE FEAR AND CHOOSE LOVE”. Repeat this as often as you need too. I hope you find this helpful. Love has never let me down. The next time fear presents itself in your life, what will you choose?
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
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