Mary, the divine mother “mothered” me when I was motherless

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May
21

As Mother’s Day approached, I thought about my own mother (who died when I was 19 years old) and then the gift of being a mother and bringing 4 beautiful children into the world. Bringing children into the world and being a mother is the most important job I will ever have – and the one that I had the least training for.

It’s been almost 50 years since my mother died in St. Helena’s Church on my parent’s 25^th wedding anniversary. Without a mother on earth for all these years, I’ve had to learn to “mother” myself and allow others to “mother” me. Thank God for my grandmother’s love for I would not be who I am today without her unconditional love. My girlfriend, Carole, lost her mother at an early age, also, so we have often “mothered” each other over the years when we needed a mommy. Today, I am blessed with many beautiful feminine women who enrich my life as I do theirs.

I would like to share with you my relationship with Mary, the Divine Feminine. Growing up Catholic, I remember “May Day” and having processions around the school honoring the Blessed Mother. I had a devotion to Mary and even had a little altar in my room with flowers for the month of May. Believe it or not, I still have the statute I received for my Holy Communion.

When I reached my teenage years, I forgot about Mary and didn’t want anything to do with the Blessed Mother.  Can you relate?  Many years ago, I met a woman named, Dolores, who clearly had a beautiful, loving relationship with Mary that intrigued me. I wanted what she had and asked her how I could get the relationship back that I had as a young girl. She advised me to say one Hail Mary every day, which I did.

My kids remember saying the rosary as a family while driving in the car, which, of course, they loved to do! LOL  I don’t say the Hail Mary’s every day anymore, but I have a loving, strong, nurturing relationship with our Divine Mother and Mother Earth. She is there to “mother” me when I need mothering and I call upon her assistance often.

As I look back over the years, I realize that the month of May has always been a very powerful spiritual month for me and I’ve had many internal shifts and transformations. So I now expect and look forward to spiritual experiences and surprises during the month of May.

Larry was surprised when I told him it was “May Day” and brought out my statute of Mary to put on the kitchen counter. When he returned from the market later that day, he bought me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for my little “altar.” As my friend who just met Larry said, “Pat, he gets you.”  Yes, he does and he knows what’s important to me, even though it may not be important to him.

This past week, I had the opportunity to accompany my friend, Gail, to Honolulu as she underwent major surgery. Since I had the same surgery many years ago, I shared with her my experience and what helped me to stay peaceful and calm. Our mantra was, “Everything will flow with peace, ease and grace.” Although there were a few bumps that we dealt with (we had to change plane reservation because her operation was delayed and we couldn’t make the scheduled flight), it truly flowed with peace, ease and grace.

During our time together before the surgery, I was led to ask Gail if she had a relationship with the Blessed Mother. She said, “I didn’t grow up Catholic, but just a few weeks ago when I was really sick, I needed a “mother” and prayed to Mary. Gail’s mother died 30 years ago, so we had something in common and knew the pain of being “motherless.”

I prayed with her when she left the hotel in the morning for surgery. We prayed the “Hail Mary” together and when we were done, we looked into each other’s eyes and said, “I am going to die, you are going to die, but we have this moment.”  It was a very touching moment for the both of us. During my meditation later in the day, I saw her mother on one side and the Blessed Mother on the other side of her while she was in surgery and I was at the head of her bed.

As I’ve learned to love and “mother” myself, I was able to be an earthly “mother” for Gail. It was such an honor for me to be present to her and help her with whatever she needed in the moment. My prayer and intention was to be a “peaceful presence” to her and I feel that was accomplished. Through this experience, Gail and I bonded in a new and deeper way. Not only did we share our journeys, we laughed, prayed and played together.

Gail is an amazingly strong woman whom I have come to love and admire. Her kindness, vulnerability, gentleness and gratitude to everyone (from the nurses, to the taxi cab driver, to the lab technician who drew blood) were quite remarkable. Gail has had a grueling year and her courage and trust is a gift to all who know her. She truly is a gift to me.

I look forward to the rest of the month with Mary and how I will grow spiritually.  I would love to hear  your experience of the Divine Mother.