Browsing all articles tagged with don’t talk

“I cut the cords from the past”

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Thank you all for remembering my birthday and sending wishes and kind words. I shared last week that my trip to Hana was cancelled and that I trusted there was a reason for it. The reason was revealed because I got sick the night of my birthday and had to rest for a couple of days. I am so grateful that I got sick AFTER my birthday and could celebrate and have fun. It would not have been fun being away sick. Thank you God for closing the door.


I had a glorious birthday and felt so loved and cherished by my family and friends. It started with a text from one of my children wishing me a Happy Birthday and telling me that I was the best mom in the world and the most courageous and inspiring woman he knows. That is the greatest gift a mother could receive from her child and I will cherish it forever. All of my children honored me and sent beautiful gifts and cards that touched my heart deeply, from jewelry to chocolate to money. My friends called and sent gifts that were so thoughtful, like a certificate for Paragliding, a crystal angel, a butterfly bracelet and a lady bug wind chimes. I am so blessed and grateful for the love I received on my birthday.



My day started with my friend, Kerri, giving me a Harmonium energy healing session which was so peaceful and powerful to have this on my birthday. I went to breakfast with Kati at a restaurant overlooking the ocean and then we went to the 4 Seasons Hotel to play and swim. While sitting in the lobby, she read angel cards for me. My friend, Larry, invited me to a dinner celebration at the Palms restaurant which is right on the ocean. I truly felt blessed.


As I took my walk tonight, I reflected upon the wisdom from the angel card reading that I had on my birthday. The first card was to “cut cords from the past.” I had done that already and wondered why this card came up. I think it was a confirmation of what I have been practicing in my life in regards to some of the unhealthy messages I received as a child.


For example: Growing up in an alcoholic home (or any dysfunctional home) there are 3 unspoken rules that you live by. They are: Don’t trust, Don’t talk and Don’t feel. You learn not to trust your own perceptions and intuition because the adults in your life are acting like nothing is wrong in the family. There may be all kinds of problems but nobody talks about them. If you were to bring something up, you might be chastised or laughed at. So, of course, you learned not to trust yourself or talk about what was really going on.


A friend called me this week while I was sick and said, “Can you talk, I am feeling needy.” During the conversation, she said, “I don’t talk about this to anyone.” Thankfully, she had the courage to break that rule and call me and ask for help. I believe we are not meant to walk this journey alone and we need to talk about what’s going on if we are to be healthy and whole. She needed me to listen to her and love her, which is what I did.


I have cut the cords because I no longer play by these rules. Today, I know what my feelings are and when I need to speak up and say my truth. here was a time in my life when confronting another person or speaking my truth really stressed me out. I remember years ago when I spoke up to my boss and how I had to write everything down that I needed to say to her because I was so nervous. Although I may not like speaking up, I do it when I need to and I do it with love. For the past month, I have had the opportunity to speak up to several people who tried to bully me and were verbally abusive.


Living in Maui has helped me to deepen and trust my intuition and what I am to do or not do next in my life. Sometimes, I may disappoint others or make them angry, but I must be true to myself and follow my heart. I pray about everything and know Spirit is leading me on my path. I go inside for my answers rather than looking outside for others to tell me what to do. Sometimes, my decisions don’t make sense logically, but I follow my heart and my gut because it has never taken me down the wrong path. Today, I know I can change my mind (as many times as I need to) when something doesn’t feel right.


I was intrigued when I spotted the bumper sticker on the car in front of me while driving my car into town. It read, SELF-SPONSORED. As a member of a 12 step support group, it is suggested that every person have a sponsor. There is a time when sponsorship is critical to sobriety and I strongly recommended it to all of my clients. In essence, you were accountable to someone who had more experience in the program and more sobriety. It works. So I asked myself, “What did SELF-SPONSORED mean to me?”


Although I have close friends that I share with and run things by, I believe I am becoming SELF-SPONSORED. Rather than being accountable to someone else, I am learning to be accountable to myself-my higher self. If I say I am going to do something or be somewhere, I follow through to the best of my ability. I am responsible for myself in all areas of my life. I am “sponsoring myself” when I trust myself, trust my intuition, believe in myself, affirm myself and take care of my body, mind and spirit. I check in with my body to see how it feels before making decisions and ask my body what it needs in the moment. I follow my heart wherever it leads me. I have learned to say no when I don’t want to do something and I don’t push or “should” on myself anymore. I listen to my body and rest when I need to. It is a new way of life not to push and trust that all things are happening for a reason and that it is all good. My life is peaceful when I allow things to come to me, rather than force or make things happen.


It is my belief that if I am living my life today in love, faith, trust, forgiveness and gratitude that whatever shows up in my life in the future will be for my highest good and I will be taken care of. All I have to do is to be concerned with today and how I am living my life.




I am created to live life to the fullest in each present moment, and each moment contributes to the substance of my life. The now is filled with amazing opportunities for me to grow and create the life I want. I choose what kind of life I am creating. Listening to a favorite tune, I notices how one note follows the next to create a memorable line of music. Each note and chord occur in the moment, yet they combine to create a complete piece. Similarly, each individual thought, word, and action of my day creates my life. I choose to build my life’s symphony one moment at a time. Every experience is part of the whole. I live an intentional life by keeping my awareness in the NOW.


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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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