Have you ever noticed that when you are learning a new behaviorlike speaking up, saying no, learning a new skill, or learning how to dance, you can’t get enough of it and you want to do it all the time? What often happens is that the pendulum swings to one side and it goes out of balance. It takes time to come back into balance, to live in the present moment where there is peace and joy.
Not only does the pendulum swing out of balance, but old behaviors may rear their ugly head. No worries, this is normal. When you have a daily spiritual practice and are connected to Spirit and your higher self, you notice this doesn’t feel good and you need to change. Too much of a good thing is not healthy and it could drive you and your friends and family crazy.
Being in love and in a new relationship is wonderful and life-changing, but it doesn’t exempt me from going out of balance and losing my peace. And it doesn’t take long! Have you ever prayed for something and then when you get it, you feel afraid? God must laugh at us human beings. I am grateful that I can laugh at myself and am learning to take myself lightly. I have learned to feel my feelings and instead of denying or pushing them down, I share them so I can work through them. I am also willing and open to look at my “stinking thinking” and change my thinking when necessary. It is so easy to take things personally, future trip, or jump to conclusions and be negative.
Although I don’t like it, being in a new relationship brings up my STUFF; like fear, insecurity and control. How silly of me to think I was done with my STUFF because I don’t think we are ever done with our STUFF. I may say I don’t like it when my STUFF comes up, but I really do because it is a gift and opportunity to allow God’s grace and healing to occur. It is also an opportunity to focus on loving myself.
For much of my life I focused on others and put myself last. I thought I knew what was best for others and what they should do, but I didn’t have a clue or know what I wanted. Wasn’t that what we were taught to do? I thought if I loved you enough, you would love me back. I realize now that this is backwards because I need to love myself first before I can truly love another. I thought focusing on myself and my needs were selfish and felt guilty if I did put my needs first. I know today that it is self-caring and what God wants me to do. If I’m not loving myself, I cannot truly love others. What a gift to know this and teach others how to do it.
“I am totally and completely supported by the Universe.” I love how the Universe speaks to me and gets my attention. I knew “something” didn’t feel right inside of me, but I wasn’t clear what it was and what I needed to change until I had the dream.
God always speaks to me through my dreams. I know I dream every night, but I don’t always remember them unless God wants to get my attention and guide me through the dream. I have had a recurring dream for many years and hadn’t had the dream in a long time. When you have a recurring dream, it is almost always a lesson that needs to be learned or re-learned again.
In my dream, I was “rushing” to catch a plane because I thought I was going to be late. When I work with my dreams, I ask a lot of questions to help me get what the message is. The message was clear: I needed to RELAX, trust the process and know that all was well.
There is a chapter in my book called, “Slowliness is Godliness” and it is about rushing. Here is what I wrote:
“I constantly raced around, going from one thing to another. Rushing was my addiction and I never took my time with anything. If I rushed and stayed busy, I didn’t have time to feel my feelings and go within. It gave me energy when I rushed. I felt powerful when I multi-tasked and felt in control. Just like the alcoholic who uses alcohol to medicate painful feelings, I used rushing to medicate painful feelings from my childhood. I always pushed myself to do more and be more. I never felt good enough and didn’t know how to relax. A friend told me that rushing was abusive and a death wish. It’s a death wish because when I rush all the time, I disconnect from myself and from the divine energy of God within. When I rush, I’m not respecting myself or the God within.
Rushing became a way of life for me. Although on the outside, I may have looked peaceful, there was an “inner rushing” that was pervasive and intense. If I wanted peace in my life, I had to change. It only takes one person to change your life – you. I had to slow down, be conscious and learn to live in the moment. I asked God for the grace to slow down and relax.”
Thank you God for showing me the truth in what I need to change. I am back in balance, still in love, trusting God, loving myself, feeling my feelings and surrendering to “what is” showing up in my life, knowing it is all good and for my highest good.
I woke up feeling unsettled and didn’t feel peace in my heart. I immediately did some breathing exercises and went inside to see what was going on. I felt sad about something in my life that hadn’t manifested yet. I know how important it is to just allow myself to feel and process all of my feelings. In other words, I welcomed in my feelings and didn’t judge or make them wrong. Within a very short time, the sadness was gone and I was back to feeling gratitude and joy.
Is there something in your life that hasn’t manifested yet? It may feel really close that you can almost taste it. You know you have done “your part.” You have released old beliefs, visualized, affirmed, prayed, felt what it is going to be like when it comes about. And now you are just “waiting” for it to come into form because you know that you know that it is yours because it is the desire of your heart. It is my belief that God gives us the desires of our hearts and will come to us in the perfect and right time.
What I don’t know and you don’t know is WHEN, WHERE and HOW it will come about. I know it WILL HAPPEN because it is God’s promise. In this space of “waiting” I am living in the mystery and the unknown. That is not always a comfortable place to be, but a necessary place for spiritual growth.
When I am in the mystery of the unknown and waiting for manifestation, my faith is nurtured and grows because I cannot SEE with my eyes what is ahead. I only SEE with my heart. I have a choice to live in the NOW and the present moment – where there are miracles and opportunities and adventure. Why would I not want to live there? Because I want to control and I want what I want when I want it!
How often do we miss the present moment where God is and where the blessings are because we are focused on what’s missing, and not “what is?” When I become aware that I am not living in the present moment and focused on what’s missing, I see it as an invitation to “let go” of the HOW, WHERE and WHEN.
It all boils down to TRUST – that God Knows Best. Remember the show growing up – Father Knows Best! If I am turning my life over to the God of my understanding, which I am, on a daily basis, I am saying to the God within or my God-Self “YOU ARE IN CONTROL – PLEASE DRIVE MY BUS.” Hold my hand and take me where I need to go, want to go and let it be for my highest good.
I asked myself, “Am I living in Maui because I was able to let go and allow God to lead me, to show me the way? With the grace of God, did I get out of the way and let go of my stinking thinking: I can’t, it’s not possible, I don’t deserve it attitude?” YES, I DID and all I can say is WOW. If I can do it, so can you if you trust and believe. I will continue to do this because it works.
What an amazing week it has been of experiencing God’s presence, miracles and power in my life as I Let go and let God. If you have read my book,” Simply a Woman of Faith,” you know that I am the “Yard Sale Queen.” Most of my clothes are purchased at yard sales and consignment stores and I love the beautiful clothes that fit me perfectly. So it is rare that I buy anything for full price at a clothing store.
My friends and I decided to go to a local boutique that sold beautiful scarfs. I had no intention on buying a scarf until I tried one on for fun. I fell in love with it – I felt like royalty, elegant and beautiful. I didn’t hear God say, “Buy it and I will provide” like I did 20 years ago when $10 showed up in my mailbox after I bought a blouse that I wanted. I just felt peaceful, and a knowing that I would be provided for. I was being invited to trust that the money would come. I am practicing “feeling and acting prosperous” and releasing all of my lack of money beliefs so this felt right. I was guided to step out in faith and buy the scarf before I had the money. My girlfriend also bought a scarf that she fell in love with and we both agreed that the money would show up.
What is interesting is that I had completely forgotten about the email I received that morning from a woman in Rhode Island who plans on attending my retreat in January. She wrote, “I mailed you my $75 check for the retreat this morning.” And guess what, the scarf was $75. Some may call it a coincidence, but I see it as the hand of God affirming that I am in alignment with Spirit and to continue “feeling and acting” prosperous.
My friend, Linda, and I were on our way to the “Old Lahaina Luau” when we stopped to see the famous Banyan Tree. As I stepped out of the car with my beautiful new scarf on, a man sat dressed in white and playing his beautiful harp. He looked at me with such expression and admiration as our eyes locked on one another. With his mouth open, he said, “You look like you are royalty.” I smiled and said, “I feel like royalty.” We hugged as if we knew one another forever. His name was Moses David. We chatted for a while talking about God and this being the time of transformation in the world. We even sang a verse of Hallelujah together. I said, “I am a woman of faith” and he said, “I am here to inspire people and bring heaven on earth.”
It was definitely a” holy encounter” as Linda and I floated away, feeling touched by his presence and his words to us. It felt like we really “recognized” each another as children of the Divine. Linda and I looked at one another and said, “I think he was an angel.” Shortly after that encounter, as we were walking down the street, a man behind me touched my shoulder and said, “Are you a famous movie STAR?” I burst out laughing and said, “No.” I should have said, “Yes, I am “Maui’s Shining Star” (the name of the new book that I’m writing).
This reminded me of the dream that I had in 2005 when I was writing my book and paralyzed with fear. I was climbing a ladder to heaven and when I reached the top, I put my hand out to touch the star. I then became the STAR. My affirmation is “I am a STAR that inspires others to find the God within.”
When we arrived home, we Googled Moses David. Sure enough, there was a picture of him sitting under the Banyan Tree all in white with his harp. Not only was there a picture of him, but a story about his life. A woman had written about her encounter with him and said, “I feel like I met an angel tonight.” What a gift from God. We never know when angels will show up on our path.
I woke up this morning and said to God, “It’s the end of the week and I don’t have anything to share in my blog. I heard God say, “Have I ever let you down?” I said, “No God, you haven’t.”
I invited Angela to my home for coffee that afternoon. I sat there with my mouth open as she shared her powerful stories of how God has provided for her over the years. Five years ago, she moved to Maui with her 2 daughters, who were one and fourteen years old. She didn’t know anyone or didn’t have a place to live when she arrived. But, God provided miraculously for her and her children as soon as she got off of the plane. When we started to talk she said, “I think everyone has a book in them and I have been thinking about writing my story.” After listening to her share her stories, I felt excited and knew what I needed to do. I looked her in the eyes and said, “I will help you write your book, I will be your coach.” She smiled and said, “Thank you, I would like that and I will pray about it tonight.”
I met Angela 2 weeks ago when she attended, “Fall in Love with Your Inner Goddess.” She called me the day before the retreat to see if there was still room for her to attend. She said,” I went to the gym today and saw your flyer. I have never done anything like this before.” We still had space for her and she agreed to come.
I know it took a lot of courage for Angela to attend the retreat because she didn’t know me or any of the other women at the retreat. She was quiet, but had a beautiful smile that lit up her whole face. She said she loved the retreat.
I received an email from Angela a few days after the retreat. She wrote, “Pat, I just wanted to share something really awesome. When I saw your books on the table at the retreat, I thought to myself, “This book looks familiar and I wonder if I have it at home?” So after our women’s retreat, I went to my book case and there it was. I am not exactly sure how I got it, however, I have it and I’m reading it. I just think that even before we met we were connecting.
During our time together at my home, Angela remembered where she got my book from. She said, “A week before the retreat, I went to the library and at the front of the library they have books for sale. Your book jumped out at me and I bought it. I don’t always read the books I buy right away, but know that when I do read them, it is what I need to read. I put your book on my book shelf.” She also shared she had a gym membership, but hadn’t used it until the day she saw the flyer. She said, “Something told me I needed to be there because I want to learn how to love myself.” She managed to find a babysitter for her daughter at the last minute. She prayed about it and is excited about me helping her move forward in telling her story of God’s love.
I shared in last week’s blog about the “house swap” to Hana next week. The day after I sent out my blog, I received a call from Carol telling me her landlord was upset about her having friends stay at her place and she was unable to “swap houses.” I felt disappointed, but trusted that God had a better plan and stayed grateful. I remember reading “Disappointments are God’s appointments.”
Kati and I decided to rent a place for two days in Hana. Then, Kati’s landlord asked her to watch their dogs while they were away and would take $200 off her rent. It was the days we were planning on going away. This clearly was a closed door to go to Hana for my birthday. That same day, two other things fell through that I was disappointed about. All of a sudden, it felt like a cloud over my head, my energy was low and I wanted to cry. I knew this was not just about what was going on in my life today. I couldn’t figure out why because I know things happen for a reason and it always works out for my good. As I was driving my car to a breath work session that night, the tears started to flow down my cheeks and it hit me why I felt so low and what this “disappointment” was triggering in me.
For many years of my married life, I didn’t look forward to my birthday because I was often forgotten by my ex-husband. I felt disappointed year after year and it would be the same scenario of tears, hurt, anger and an apology and promise that it wouldn’t happen again. I had forgiven my ex-husband years ago so I was surprised this was coming up now.
What I realized is that I gave my power away for so many years because I expected someone else to make me happy. I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know that I make myself happy and I can be as happy as I want to be. Of course, when others do something nice for me, I appreciate it and it makes me feel loved.
I knew that my breath work session was going to be powerful and I was ready to feel my feelings and release whatever needed to be released so I could live in the present moment and enjoy all the gifts God was giving me. I didn’t want to live in the past and have buried feelings anymore. As I did my breath work, deep sadness came up that I allowed myself to stay in a place where I wasn’t respected and remembered. I needed to forgive myself for giving my power away and expecting others to make me happy.
During the breath work session, I felt God’s love and presence in a deep, profound way. It felt like something was being lifted from my heart. The next day, I felt loved, free, and playful and I knew there was a huge release. As I was walking to my car from the ocean, a woman in a silver convertible car passed me. I said, “I love your car.” Then I noticed her license plate that read, “Happiness.” I said, “I love your license place too.” She yelled to me, “My name is Happy.” Wow, I knew God was speaking to me.
The purpose of our lives is to be HAPPY. I know I am going to have a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I look forward to sharing it with you next week. When God closes a door, another one is opened. I can’t wait to see how this birthday is going to unfold and I am very excited about it.
When my friend, Ellen, invited me to Maui for 2 weeks in November, 2010, I had no idea I would be living in Paradise 2 years later. God had a plan and I just kept saying YES to the invitation – not having any idea what it would look like or how it would happen. Step by step, I faced my fears and moved into the mystery and the unknown.
I see today that My “PLAN” was not God’s plan and I am grateful that I had the grace to surrender, let go and allow God to lead and guide me (not without struggle, at times). Before I moved to Maui for 6 months in January 2012, while I was in Maui in November, 2011, I spoke at 2 churches and presented a workshop for women at the Senior Center. So of course, I thought when I moved to Maui in January 2012, I would continue to do this. My “PLAN” was to continue my work as an inspirational speaker, retreat leader and spiritual coach. I realize today that God needed to do “some work” in me and I needed to do some “letting go” before I moved forward in this way. It was not God’s timing or God’s plan.
Before I moved to Maui I was warned that all of my “stuff” would come up. I felt a little smug and thought I had worked for so many years on my stuff already, I was safe. Silly me, I should have known better because whenever we are being called to a higher level of consciousness or some big change is occurring in our lives, our stuff comes up. If I am honest, even though I don’t like it at first, I welcome my “stuff” coming up because I want to be the best I can be, so I can serve and be a vessel for God in the purest way. My stuff has come up (as I have shared in my weekly blogs) and with the grace of God, I have been transformed. I read in one of my spiritual books, “While you wait in my presence, I do my best work within you to transform you by the renewal of your mind.”
I wrote in my blog of Jan. 24, 2012 – Waiting has not been my favorite thing to do, but I have learned over the years that it is essential to my spiritual health and well-being to wait on God. I arrived in Maui 5 days ago and it is beyond words how grateful I feel for this opportunity and adventure. In prayer this morning, I became aware of “old behaviors” creeping in and robbing me of my peace. Rather than resting in the energy of BEING and trusting in the divine plan to unfold in its own time and own way, I felt tempted to control and make things happen. I thanked God for this awareness and strengthened my resolve to live in the moment and trust the divine plan. “By waiting and by calm, I shall be saved, in quiet and trust lies my strength.”
When I arrived in Maui in January 2012, I was surprised when I had “no desire” to call the churches, do workshops or coach others. “What was going on”, I wondered. As I shared earlier, I struggled with this because this was not MY PLAN.
I wrote in my blog of March 6, 2012, I FINALLY GOT IT and I am so grateful! It will be seven weeks since I have been in paradise and it has been quite a ride! I am happy to report that, not only am I living in Paradise but I have found Paradise inside of me. I had a major shift in my consciousness while in prayer this week. Deep within my soul, I knew the reason I was here was to receive God’s love. It seemed so simple and yet profound. I said, “God, do you mean I don’t have to do anything?” “Yes, I want you to experience my unconditional love without having to do anything. How will you be able to receive the love from your soul mate that I have planned for you if you are unable to experience my love completely and unconditionally?” Wow, I knew God was speaking to my heart. It’s been over two weeks since I received this message and I feel an incredible freedom to enjoy the present moment, to be in the flow of the Spirit and to trust each moment and experience to unfold perfectly. I am invited to play in God’s playground and enjoy every moment. This is a gift from God with no strings attached. I don’t have to do anything to earn it.
During this time of waiting, I read a book called “Faith” by A.C. Ping. Here is what it said: “One of the most frustrating times along the spiritual path occurs when NOTHING seems to be happening. Not only do we have lots of time to think, but at the same time people keep asking you “What’s happening?” On the surface nothing seems to be happening, but underneath a great shift is occurring. Instead of feeling frustrated, it may be that life is giving you a safe place to rest and gather your energy for the journey ahead. You may not be able to see which way to go, but if you sit patiently, have faith that life has meaning and wait until the mist clears, you may find that one day you wake up to a bright blue sky that reveals a clear path leading to an even more beautiful mountain than the one you just climbed. The temptation will be to run around in the mist searching for guidance. But this will wear you out and until you stop and rest, no further path will be revealed to you until you have the energy to attempt the next climb. Trust that although nothing seems to be happening on the surface, a whole lot is happening below the surface.”
As I write this blog, it is hard to believe that it has been 15 months since I have been living and playing in paradise. I have listened to my intuition and not attempted to further my career in any way. I have trusted that although nothing seemed to be happening on the surface, a whole lot was happening below the surface.”
A couple of months ago, I attended a talk with my friend, Jodene, and after the talk I said, “You know, something is stirring in me because I miss speaking and doing workshops. I will pray about it and ask God to open the door and bring to me what it is that I am to do – if anything.” I let it go and felt peaceful.
I met, Kati, a year ago when we were on a retreat together. I was drawn to her – she was a shining light and I loved her energy. We exchanged emails but it wasn’t time for us YET! She lived on the other side of the island and we didn’t get together until I moved here this past September. I had the opportunity to house- sit in Makawa, Maui before I moved into my home in Kihei. Kati lived 2 minutes away and was friends with the women I house- sat for. Kati and I reconnected and spent time together having fun and playing.
A couple of months ago, as Kati and I shared our spiritual journey with one another, we both felt that God was calling us to do something together. We didn’t know what it was, but we agreed to pray about it. A few weeks ago, Kati invited me to come and paint with her at her new home on the ocean and I was really excited to paint with her. I am not sure how it happened but before we knew it, we were planning a day of healing together. It just flowed from both of us easily and effortlessly. There was no struggle, only ease and grace. Kati painted the flyer as I painted the ocean.
I am amazed and grateful how this has unfolded so easily. We are on fire and so excited to share our gifts with women. The title is “This is What I am Here For.” Celebration of your Divine Feminine Mother Earth. Discover inner clarity about “This is what I am here for” as Divine Feminine grounded in the arms of Mother Earth. Join in Celebration, Meditation, Revelation, Forgiveness, Healing, Visioning, Dancing, Ritual and Laughter as your gift to Self.It will be held on May, 11, 2013.
WATCH OUT MAUI BECAUSE KATI AND I ARE COMING OUT
I had totally forgotten about this until recently. My daughter, Mary, gave me the gift of an astrology reading for Christmas. I was really surprised when he said, “Something significant would happen in my career in the month of May.” I had given up “my career” and I didn’t understand. I wasn’t interested in my career any more; I wanted to know when I was going to meet my soul mate – more waiting on this one! God does have a sense of humor. I don’t know what’s ahead, not even sure I want a “career” and that is okay. I will trust God’s will and timing.
Gods timing is perfect. “My good is revealed in diving timing. I choose not to struggle with or force circumstances in my life. I know the time will be right when I feel a nudge from Spirit to move in the right direction. I pay attention to my intuition, knowing that inner wisdom and divine understanding direct me.”
As this year comes to an end and a new year begins, I want to thank all of you who have supported and loved me this past year. It has certainly been a year of adventure, stepping out in faith and living my dreams. I have loved sharing it with you and inspiring you to live your dreams as well. Many of you have written to me sharing your dreams as well as your struggles and how your faith in God has been tested and strengthened. For many of us, it has been a year of “letting go and letting God.”
When you receive this blog, I will be on my way back to Maui from my visit with family and friends in New England. I so look forward to being back in paradise and the warm weather and the whales that are coming back. It was great seeing everyone and spending time together. We all stayed with my daughter Mary and she did a fantastic job of cooking delicious meals for all of us.
We even had snow on Christmas day and 8 inches of snow 3 days later. I was prepared with my heavy coat, boots and gloves as we took a walk through the woods. My son Jimmy and his girlfriend Lara had a beautiful Christmas tree (that he cut down himself) that filled the room and reached the ceiling. We celebrated the Winter Solstice at my
daughter’s farm with singing and a big bonfire, where we were invited to write down what we wanted to let go of and what we wanted to bring in for the new year. Five year old Cielea said, “I want to let go of crying and I want to bring in flowers and a healthy new baby (Her mom is due to give birth any day.)
Even though I had a wonderful time being with my family, “my stuff” came up (which never feels very good.) I think being with family (especially ex’s) triggers old behaviors, patterns and feelings that still need healing. I prayed for a dream, asking for clarity on what needed to be changed in me. God answered that prayer when I woke up from a sound sleep in the middle of the night with a dream that headlights from a car were shining in the room. Spirit revealed to me how I give my power away by looking to others to give me what I need to give to myself. Something shifted inside of me after the dream and I was able to feel peace and get back to sleep. So I am grateful for more opportunities to see what’s inside that needs to be changed; whether it be to detach with love, let go, forgive, or just to focus on the positive, instead of complaining.
I had a pleasant surprise when I returned to my condo for the first time since I left in September. Almost all of my furniture was out of my condo except a small table and lamp in my bedroom. When I put the lamp on, I noticed a ladybug sitting on the table! As I have shared in other blogs, ladybugs are one of my signs of God’s unconditional
love for me. I then looked on the floor and spotted another one. It looked like a mother and baby. I was delighted to received this wonderful gift of love. Then, a couple of days later at Christmas, I received a beautiful bracelet from my son and future daughter-in-law that had a ladybug on it. It came with a wonderful description about the meaning of the ladybug.
“Legend has it that the ladybug was named for the Virgin Mary who assisted farmers once they prayed to her. Keeping fields safe from harm, the ladybug evokes the energy of harmony. A ladybug’s life is short. It teaches us to release worries and to enjoy experiences to the fullest. A messenger of promise, when the ladybug appears in our lives it is telling us to “Let go and let God.”
Not only do I think this message of “letting go” confirms my lessons for 2012, but it will be the theme for 2013.
This is what I read today in “Effortless Prosperity” by Bijan
“As we were growing up, we were taught the importance of being in control; the more control that we had, the happier we would be. The truth is that the more we surrender control to Spirit (taking it away from ego), the more we will be guided in the right direction. It is like jumping into the river while wearing a life jacket. As we float downstream near the rocks, we can try to push ourselves away, but we will usually
crash into them. However, if we just let go and let the water carry us through, it will naturally take us around the rocks. If we just give up control, with little intention of going anywhere other than where the current leads us, we will be carried where we are supposed to go and where it will be best for us.”
More and more I find that I am able to surrender my plans to God and allow myself to be carried where I am supposed to be, in the way that is best for me (even though it may be painful.) I surrendered the sale of my home in Rhode Island to God and I am happy to report that I found a wonderful new tenant. I signed my lease to rent my condo (yea) on January 2 and leaving for Maui on January 3rd. Yes, God came through at the 11th hour and at the perfect and right time!
My prayer and wish for you for this coming year is that you know that you are ONE with God and that you experience God’s love and peace in all that you do.
I will be moving into my new Ohana today and am so excited and ready. Of course, I already have it decorated in my mind’s eye. It has been 6 weeks since I landed in Maui and I am very grateful to my new friends who opened their hearts and homes to me. I was invited to stay with my friend Joni in her beautiful “resort home,” overlooking the ocean and surrounded by luscious flowers right before my ohana was ready to move into. For 6 days, I felt like a queen. I have been living out of suitcases and boxes and my car is packed to the brim with everything I own! Here is what it looks like.
As the yard sale queen, God is providing me with everything I need at great prices. Here is one example: While I was house sitting in Makawao for the last 16 days, I fell in love with Summers “Homedics Massaging Cushion” for a chair. I casually asked God to provide one for me at a yard sale and then forgot about it. I was quite happy when I walked into the yard sale and spotted the brand new, still in the box “Homedics Massaging Cushion” and at an unbelievable price. God is good. We must ask, believe and then expect good to come our way in Gods timing.
Several weeks ago I went to a big yard sale and Joseph and Marlowe (who are becoming household names) were also there. I greeted them briefly and said, “I can’t talk now!” and off I went to see what bargains I could find. They got in the car and laughed like crazy because I was so focused. They said, “She is a woman on a mission.” I felt embarrassed because I didn’t realize it was so obvious!
I feel like a kid in a candy shop, running around and wanting to taste everything all at once. This is what it has been like for me since I moved to Maui. I want to paint, do yoga, attend the energy healing circle, change my diet and eat healthier, give up sugar (maybe), exercise more, learn how to chant, dance, do water aerobics to name just a few – and I want to do it all NOW. Can you relate? It makes me tired just thinking about it.
It’s the energy of the island and being in nature that is naturally calling me to change.This is a good thing, but I don’t have to do it all at once. Too much of a good thing is never a good thing. I am responsible for the pace and peace I bring to each moment and peace and love is my intention each day. I have to admit my impatience of “wanting it all now” was definitely being activated as well as the belief that if I don’t do it now, it won’t happen at all. I’ve realized that as I teach others, I have to RELAX and slow down.
I shared in an earlier blog that I was going to be house sitting for 16 days and that I wanted to (P&P) Pray and Play. My desire was to go deeper with God and myself, although I really didn’t think about what that meant. For me, going deeper means that I allow and invite God’s “flashlight” to shine in places in my heart that needed to be transformed and healed. I do that by paying attention to what my body and spirit need because they always guide me to the truth and inspire me as to what to do next.
When I woke up on Sunday morning, I didn’t feel like going to church, which felt strange, because I love attending the Unity service. I felt like staying home to be with myself and God. I didn’t know why but when I went inside and got quiet, I knew it was the right thing to do for myself. I didn’t “should” on myself or doubt myself because I have learned to trust my “Inner Knower,” which is always right. Once I made the decision to stay home, the peace came, which for me, is is always a sign that I am doing the right thing.
What I have learned about myself is that as an introvert, I get my energy from going inside. I love people and connecting but I get “recharged” when I am quiet and go within. It is vital to my well being that I take the time to do this, because for many years, I stayed busy and ran around like a chicken without its head, in order to avoid my feelings (especially self hatred, shame, fear and inadequacy). I became exhausted and lost my peace. No more! Today, I feel everything and strive to live in the present moment so I can be in the flow. It is only in the present moment that I experience God. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet. Today it is about “allowing” and not pushing and making things happen.
Part of going within is paying attention to my dreams, because God often speaks to me through a dream. I may not have a dream that I remember for months and then I have one that I remember and work with it. A few nights ago, I had a dream that I went back to my old job that I retired from, but I had no clients. I wasn’t even getting paid and it was almost like I was invisible. I asked myself some important questions like “where I am going backward in my consciousness or choosing to remain in the past and why?”
As I worked with the dream, I became aware that I was still connecting my sense of value to working and getting paid. Because I am not receiving a “paycheck,” I was doubting my value and worth. I want to believe that my value and worth comes from my connection to the divine and it is not about doing, but BEING. As I continued to go deeper to reach the belief that was still operating, it surprised me what came up. The bottom line belief was “I will run out of money and not be able to provide for myself and not be able to live my dream.”
My prayer was, “Thank you God for bringing this to the light so it can be transformed into faith.” I believe that God is my source, not my pension, social security or my 401K. All this can be taken away in a twinkle of an eye and all that is left is God. I know that having a big bank account is not where my security and value come from. There is nothing wrong with having a big bank account because I believe God’s desire for me is to be prosperous, but God doesn’t want me to live in fear and worry that I will run out of money.
I waste precious time and energy if I worry and stress that I will not have enough money to provide for myself. I am also not trusting God to provide for all of my needs and then I remind myself that I have always been provided for. I believe this is a universal belief that many people struggle with and that God wants to heal. Can you relate and do you live in fear that you will run out of money, or that your value and worth comes from making money?
This was confirmed when I opened the Daily Word (pg 53) and read: “I need to clear my mind of any thoughts of lack or limitation. I confidently deny this power over me. I synchronize my thoughts with ideas of divine abundance and the creative flow of God’s good. Inspired, capable and ready, I act on divine guidance. With gratitude, I AFFIRM GOD AS MY CONSTANT SOURCE OF SUPPLY. I maintain an attitude of prosperity in all areas of my life and my needs are abundantly met”.
It says in scripture that the battle is in the mind. I have shared that my daily mantra is “I open my heart to receive more good and more of God.” I can say this a million times a day, but it will not work if my belief is “I am not good enough, worthy or deserving of good.” I must do battle with these beliefs on a daily basis so I can live in the love and light of who I truly am as a child of the Divine.
Daily Word pg. 60 I HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE A HAPPY & SUCCESSFUL LIFE
I am creating my life on thought, one feeling, one response at a time. Creation begins in mind as a divine idea. Flashes of insight and inspiration, dreams and desires, manifest into thoughts and words. As I take action and proceed in faith, divine ideas take form in my life. Through the creative power of imagination and faith, I use my spiritual qualities and gifts, building a life that is secure, prosperous, happy and healthy.
After living in Maui since January, I can hardly believe that I will be returning to Rhode Island in 2 weeks (and selling everything so I can move back here to live full time.) I am so excited to see my family and friends that I am counting the days until I get back there. It has been an amazing journey of transformation, love, surrendering, letting go and healing. I have learned so much about myself, my beliefs and what needed to change inside of me in order to be the woman God created me to be and for me to receive more good in my life.
As I walked home from my walk today, the two words that popped out for me were “No push, no rush.” Hmm…..that’s interesting, I thought. That was my way of being. I was always pushing myself to do and be more and rushing through life like I would miss something if I didn’t rush. In fact, I called myself a “Rushaholic” and it exhausted me. I realize now that these behaviors came from the belief that “I am not good enough and not worthy and deserving of good things.” Over the years, I have worked hard at changing these beliefs that no longer serve me through prayer, meditation, journaling, visualizations and affirmations. Every once in awhile, I catch myself rushing or racing, but much much less than it has ever been. Today, I truly enjoy going with the flow and following my intuition.
God’s timing is perfect and I have been reflecting on how perfectly everything has been orchestrated on my behalf with my housing both here in Maui and in Rhode Island. I am leaving this beautiful condo on the ocean that I am renting with Pat and Bob on June 26 to return to Rhode Island. Pat and Bob will be moving into the new condo they bought on June 30 and then my tenant, Carrie Ann in Rhode Island, is moving out of my condo and settling in her new condo on June 29! I could not have planned that any better. It is truly amazing what happens, when I let go and let God handle how things work out. I can’t wait to see what will happen when I return to Rhode Island to sell my house. I am already thanking God for the right and perfect person to buy my house and for the right and perfect price.
I plan to buy my return ticket back to Maui for September 5, 2012. My friend, Ellen, is going away for the month of September and has invited me to stay in her condo while I look for a place to rent. I am very excited to see how it will unfold and the beautiful place that is already mine in the mind of God. When I think about leaving this condo on the ocean, each morning when I look out, I say “This is something better, God.”
I would like to share another way I heard God speak to me this week. I encountered the woman who was staying in the condo right next to mine, and she turned and smiled as she walked back into her condo and said, “We just got here 4 hours ago. I can see you have been here awhile, YOU GOT IT GOING ON! ” I smiled and thought, wow, I do got it going on girl, but I didn’t know it was so obvious. I walked around all day with giddy excitement, saying to myself, “YES, I GOT IT GOING ON!” And guess what, YOU have it going on too! Just saying this out loud has really shifted my energy and I am now saying it to others and love to see their face light up and smile.
Can you picture that? Try saying it aloud and see how it feels. Other than feeling sassy and confident, I decided to answer the question “what does this mean to me?” It means that God, my essence and my God-self is shining out and radiating love to the world as I remember who I am and that I am ONE with God. My prayer was “Thank you God, I feel so blessed, loved and excited about the adventure of the future and all that you have planned for me. I say YES to your divine plan.”
Another thing I have learned about the Divine Plan is that it requires having faith that the right doors will open for me when necessary, and the right doors will close for me as well. This week I had an example of God closing the door in my face, and how it all worked out for the best. Ellen approached me with the news that her 94-year-old friend, Ester, was selling one of her cars. Her daughter had bought her a new car and had given Ester her 1999 Ford Escort. Ester was selling it for a great price and even though it was an old “Maui Cruiser,” it seemed to be in decent condition. I called the insurance company and the DMV and got all the information I needed. Believe me, this was not my plan to buy a car before I moved back here, but it seemed like the right thing to do since it came to me and I felt peaceful. My prayer was, “God, close the door if this is not your divine plan.” I was excited to think I would have a car all set when I moved back to Maui and it seemed like a confirmation that “I really am moving back here.” To my surprise, a few days later, Ester called and said, “I am really sorry but my daughter decided not to sell her car, after all.” I got off the phone a little stunned and disappointed, but very quickly said, “Thank you God for closing the door.”
Then my next thought was that “I will get a car for free.” I really liked that idea and it will be interesting to see how that manifests. I asked myself, “Did I only feel deserving of an old Maui Cruiser?” Perhaps God wants more for me and now I see myself driving a shiny convertible red car!
As I sat on the beach looking into the ocean and feeling very peaceful, I overheard a few words in a conversation behind me. All I heard was “RELAX, it will come to you.” I believe those words were meant for me. I have used this affirmation for years and it seems to apply here, “Everything I need is streaming toward me, I open my hands and receive.” I believe my soul mate will come to me, the car will come to me, the right place to live when I move back to Maui will come to me, and the right person to buy my house in Rhode Island will come to me. My job is to “show up” do my part and leave the HOW up to God. It works every time.
Daily Word Magazine
I am part of and immersed in the order of life. My breathing is orderly and rhythmic, as is my heartbeat; neither requires my control or direction. I relax into the flow of divine order and allow God to express in and through me, guiding my unfolding. As each new day begins, divine order manifests in all I think and do. Divine order is established in my life, and I am grateful.
Like the eagle, I am meant to soar. I am meant to let go of fear and limitations, to apply the strength and abilities God has given me. I place my faith in God and my spirit soars.
About a month ago I had a dream that I found a small dead bird on the ground. I picked it up and put it on my car seat. I later got out of my car and placed the bird on the sidewalk. To my surprise, the bird came alive and had huge beautiful purple wings. I pay attention to my dreams and really felt like God was giving me a message for my life. God was saying “What you thought was dead has been resurrected and you now have wings to fly.” I was so excited that when I went to yard sales the next day, I was looking for a picture or something with purple wings. I didn’t find anything, but kept the image of the purple wings close to my heart.
A few days ago, I met with Rev. Ian Taylor who is the leader of Concordia Center for Spiritual Living. I had a picture in my purse of me getting ready to go zip lining in Hawaii. As I was leaving, I pulled out the picture to show Ian. As he stared at the picture, it seemed like minutes before he said anything. In fact, I said, “Do you need your glasses, do you know that it’s me in the picture?” He smiled and said, “I know it’s you, but all I see are the wings.” “What wings, I exclaimed!” I was shocked and couldn’t believe my eyes when I looked at the picture again-beautiful purple tinged wings on my back. Why hadn’t I seen the wings before this moment, I wondered?
I thought about this and realized how often something is right in front of me and I don’t see it. When I focus on what’s missing, lack and not having enough, I miss the abundance and miracles that are right in front of me. Sometimes we need others to show us what is in front of us. We are all connected and are all one. I needed Rev. Ian to share with me what he saw so I could see it for myself. Not only did he show me my wings in the picture, but casually gave me the title for my next book. “I Know it’s GRACE.” I have received several messages from people over the past few years that God wanted me to write my next book. I have been putting the stories together in a word document, but it never felt like it was the right time to write the book. I know it’s time now and isn’t it wonderful to be going to Mother Maui to write my next book, “I Know it’s GRACE.”
Things are progressing for my trip to Maui and money keeps “showing up.” I received a small check from my doctor’s office and have no idea why they sent it to me. This has never happened before and I ask no questions, but just say “thank you God.” I have been receiving an annuity check every month for the last 10 years. The annuity checks were scheduled to stop in September of this year. For some reason, the checks keep coming and I just received a check for the month of December. Thank you God for you are my source.
My friend Eileen and her husband recently bought a retirement home on the Big Island of Hawaii (but they are not living there full time yet.) Eileen will be going there for 3 months in January and has invited me to stay with her in her new home. I plan on flying to the Big Island from Maui and spending 2 weeks with her. She has already contacted her church and told them about me. I will be speaking with the leader next week to schedule a date for a workshop and a book signing. It just keeps getting better and better. As I continue to have faith and trust in God’s perfect timing and provisions for my life, my heart rejoices to see the doors opening and golden opportunities coming my way.
Remember, we must step out in faith first and trust before the Universe opens doors and brings the right people and opportunities to us. I have learned that WHEN YOU LEAP, YOU REAP and God gives you wings to fly. And while you are leaping into the unknown and the mystery, Spirit takes over and all of your needs are provided for.
It’s hard to believe that I first visited Hawaii a year ago on Thanksgiving. Today I am feeling very grateful that so much has happened because I said “Yes” to a simple invitation to go there and follow my life-long dream. Now I am preparing to leave my home, business, family and friends to move to Hawaii for 6 months. When I came home from Hawaii last November, I immediately was led to put together an intention/vision book that I prayed with daily. I knew I wanted to go back and creating that vision was about having faith in my dreams. God had big plans for me and I had no idea that I would be going back to live and work there for 6 months when I put that book together!
I have received many emails from you over the past few weeks thanking me for my inspiration and trust in God. I know I am living in grace and doing God’s will because as the result of my willingness to “step out in faith” into the unknown, everything is flowing with peace, ease and grace. To be honest, I am amazed at the peace that I feel deep within. For most of my life, I lived in fear and wanted to control everything around me. And here I am in this place of “not knowing” what’s ahead (where I will be living in Maui, finding work, renting my condo) and yet I possess a deep inner “knowing” that all is well in the Spirit world. In the mind of God, all of these details are already done. I have never done anything like this to this magnitude and it is exciting to see it unfold.
As I looked back over my journal for the past year, it is clear to me that God has been preparing me for this move. The journey for me has been one of surrendering, letting go, having faith and trusting. It’s not only about trusting God, but it’s about trusting myself, my feelings and the small still voice within. Today I believe in myself because I know that I am an expression of God’s love. I trust myself because I am a daughter of the Creator. I believe in, trust and value myself because God’s spirit is within me. The more I trust and have faith, the more I see the results that I am intending to see. Inner peace comes from having trust that everything is happening in divine order and in divine right timing.
Since my first trip to Hawaii, I realized that I was being called to let go of what didn’t feel right anymore, and what wasn’t working, especially in my business. I had been caught up in the masculine energy of pushing and making things happen, until this became very uncomfortable and I didn’t want to be doing things the way I had been doing them for so long. I knew deep down, things needed to change and God was calling me to live more in the feminine energy of being and receiving. I think that is why I am being called to move to Mother Maui, to experience and live in the feminine energy of God.
What is God’s vision for you? Do you have a vision and dream for your life? Do you trust yourself? Do you have faith in yourself to follow the longings of your heart? Do you trust the guidance of the still, sacred voice within?
If not, what needs to happen in order for you to trust and have faith? Trust that you will never have a vision until God has already allocated the provision for its manifestation. I believe that the desires of our hearts have been placed there by God.
MESSAGE FROM THE ANGELS
There is no need to worry as everything is working out beautifully. The year ahead has the potential to be unlike any year that has come before. It is waiting to be filled with God-given dreams, plans fulfilled, goals accomplished and opportunities explored. I HAVE IT ALL PLANNED OUT, plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.
Ten years ago I had a dream. It was a BIG dream, which would rigorously change the lives of my five kids, my husband, and me literally overnight. My Soul told me we were going to leave Holland. Imagine waking up tomorrow with a knowing that you had to leave the country you live in? Everybody said we were crazy.
To make the move, our whole family-plus Buddha, our dog-had to be in agreement with my plan. Next, we flew to America and toured around in a nine-sleeper in search of our new destiny in this huge country. The Universe must have loved my plan; our house found us!
Our kids truly believed that you could just leave everything behind, pack up your suitcase, and hop on a plane. And in all honesty, that is exactly what we did. We left our beloved life behind and jumped on a plane with suitcases in hand.
Upon arrival we faced many challenges: not speaking the language, no contacts, no jobs, hardly any money, an empty house, our luggage floating on the ocean for two months, and more. Where do you start?
However, we are still here, and within ten years we’ve literally gone from surviving to thriving.Yesterday we celebrated that extraordinary choices not only give us extraordinary challenges but extraordinary results, and that DREAMS COME TRUE!
Saskia Roelle, Author of a Suitcase Full of Faith
|Stay updated by signing up!|
Simply A Woman of Faith
Pat’s book, Simply A Woman of Faith, is available for only $16.45 (incl. S&H).
Click here to order.
Share This Experience!
Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
621 Laniolu Place Kihei, HI 96753