Browsing all articles tagged with ego thought system

How I lose my peace

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For the past several years, it has been my daily intention to be peaceful, to love and to serve. For the most part my life is peaceful, especially when I use these 2 affirmations: “Everything is flowing with peace, ease and grace. Everything I need is streaming towards me, I open my hands and receive.” I have seen the results of these affirmation and am often amazed at how easily my life flows when I practice these affirmations.

I am very aware when I lose my peace and I go within to see what’s going on. It can be when a family member or close friend is struggling and suffering and there is nothing I can do to alleviate their pain. Sometimes all I can do is pray and send love, which is really the best thing I can do for someone. I have learned that worrying is an illusion and doesn’t help anyone involved. I often have to make a CHOICE and say to myself “I will not let anyone or anything rob me of my peace.” Peace is that important to me.

The ego is waiting at every turn and wants to rob us of our peace, especially when things are going well in our lives and we are growing in consciousness. It wants us to believe that we are separate from God and one another which produces feelings of guilt.

Sometimes I recognize ego thought patterns immediately. One of the ways ego shows up is through comparing myself to others. It usually has something to do with the false belief that I don’t have enough or I’m not doing enough. I had an experience this week with ego that was kind of subtle. My friends recommended an energy healer that they raved about because he was the “real deal” so Larry and I decided to try a session.

Although the session was relaxing, I didn’t feel a shift or feel any differently in my body. I started to think there must be something wrong with me or I wasn’t open enough and quickly lost my peace. I realized this was another ploy of the ego encouraging me to compare my experience with my friend, beat up on myself and think I was wrong. It could have also gone the other way. I could have thought that the reason I didn’t have a wow experience with the healer was because I was more advanced and spiritual and didn’t need it. My ego wants me to believe I am better than or less than another.

The good news is that I am becoming more aware of when my ego shows up. The key is to recognize when ego is acting out and when we do the ego loses its power over us.

This is some of the ways I lose my peace:

I feel jealous, afraid or angry

I compare myself to others

I blame others for my problems and feel like a victim

I need to be right and have the last word

I need to be perfect, look good and be the best

I want to intimidate others and have to have the last word in a conversation

I am defensive

I am judgmental toward myself and others

I feel less than or better than or I don’t feel good enough

I want to control, manipulate and fix others

I feel unworthy and not deserving

I feel responsible for others’ happiness and well-being

I am unable to forgive and hold resentments and grudges

I feel stupid, guilty or shameful

I am addicted to a substance or a process like work, busyness, shopping, gambling or perfectionism

I take things personally and think everything revolves around me

I am overly sensitive and feelings get hurt easily

I want to be somewhere else rather than where I am

I worry and obsess and can’t shut off my mind

It is up to us to keep ourselves peaceful, to focus on ourselves and give ourselves the love we need. The more we love ourselves, the more we can love others. How do you lose your peace and do you recognize when ego is trying to rob you of your peace?


This time of year we give and receive many wishes for a “Happy New Year”  and of course most everyone would be happy with a year filled with prosperity, health and happiness.  As I thought about it I realized that this new year will most probably be like other years, filled with challenges and successes and there will be a mixture of joy and sadness.  What’s important is how I respond to the life experiences that come my way.

I am learning that how I choose to respond to an experience will determine whether it will be a happy or a sad one. I can elevate or diminish my experience by my attitude towards it.  I don’t like pain or suffering any more than the next person and certainly don’t wish it in my life.  

One of the gifts I received last year was becoming conscious that “accepting” what’s happening each moment of each day is a choice I have.  When I’m having difficulties or health problems I can either reject them and see them as a bad thing or I can learn to accept them and not fight them.  I am learning in such situations to remain optimistic, stay open to the possibilities and see the glass half full rather than half empty.

My most recent opportunity has been my health. Since the day after Thanksgiving my health has been compromised causing my energy and strength levels to become very low.  I have tried most natural remedies and eventually went to my doctor. I seem to be on the mend now, but still have a way to go.  It has been difficult for the last four or five weeks to accept sleepless nights, breathing difficulty and terrible coughing bouts.  For the most part, I have been able to accept what’s happening without going into the poor me, poor me attitude. I have accepted my situation, done what I could to deal with it and let it be.  

I am very fortunate to have Pat at my side, she is the epitome of optimism.  When I start to lose my optimism, she reminds me of the progress I have made and to continue to accept that I am getting better. When I accept, I keep myself open to the healing energy of love and don’t allow negative energy to develop.  Pat is the real thing; she talks the talk and walks the walk. I see and experience her love energy, her dedication to living her truth, her openness to becoming more conscious and the many people who contact her so often for direction and guidance.

My prayer in this new year is that you join me in learning that we can choose to make this a happy, peaceful and prosperous year by learning to accept whatever comes and staying open to the healing energy of love.

I felt guilty and was beating up on myself

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I am “awakening” daily to the truth of who I AM; I AM Love and the presence of God/Divine/Source/Essence in the world. I am a Divine being that comes from Love and is made out of Love. Wow, isn’t that amazing and when I really embrace it and live it, miracles occur everywhere and every day. Do you know that you are Love and the presence of God in the world or do you think you are unworthy, not perfect or not good enough to even consider that?

As I awaken to the Spirit within, I am being shown more clearly how I have lived most of my life believing that I am separate from God and God is outside of me, up in the sky somewhere. I had to be a good girl, be perfect to be loved and get to heaven.

I am being shown how and where my ego has been playing in my life, in spite of wanting to live my life for God and to do God’s will. The ego wants to distract me from knowing the truth of the God within and myself as a child of God. It wants to rob me of my peace. Every thought that is not of God is of the ego. The ego is fear in every form.  What I am learning is that the ego is not real and it is an illusion. All that is real is LOVE.

Do you recognize how your ego shows up on a daily basis? Here are some of the behaviors and feelings that I have discovered within myself when my ego is running the show. Ego is often sneaky and doesn’t want to be recognized. It loses its power when we identify it.

When I am or feel:


*Comparing myself to others

*Competing with others

*People pleasing

*Unable to ask for help and receive

*Unable to accept “what is”

*Blaming others for my problems

*Wanting to be right and have the last word in a conversation

*Wanting to be perfect and look good

*Wanting to do everything perfectly  

*Wanting to intimidate or manipulate others

*Wanting to judge others
*Wanting to be the BEST

*Wanting to fix others & f eel responsible for other’s happiness and well-being

*Wanting to control others 

*Wanting to run the show 

*Wanting to be somewhere else rather than where I am

*Feeling less than or better than

*Feeling not good enough, unworthy and not deserving

*Feeling fearful, guilty or shame

*Feeling like a victim

*Feeling stupid

*Showing off

*Being unable to forgive and holding a grudge

*Drama in my life 

*Addicted to a substance or a process like work, busyness, shopping or gambling

*Taking things personally, being overly sensitive and feelings easily hurt

*Worrying and obsessing about a person or situation

Recently, I felt jealous about something and I didn’t like it at all. It had been a long time since jealousy had reared its head. I started to beat up on myself and felt shameful and embarrassed because it seemed so ridiculous to me that I was feeling jealous. When I brought it to my prayer and asked Spirit what was going on, this is what I heard from Spirit.

You must not make a big deal out of this. Love is all there is and all that is real. The more you know that love is all there is, the less bothered you will be when the ego thought system shows up in your life. Learn to smile at it when you recognize it and it will mean nothing because it’s only a dream and not real. LOVE EVERYTHING. You always have a CHOICE to choose love or fear. Choose LOVE. As you identify the ego and its patterns in your life and you release it and choose love, your light shines brighter in the world.

Beating up on yourself and feeling guilty or shameful is being unloving toward yourself. Your ego wants to rob you of your peace and knows exactly how to do it and where to go. I want you to befriend your ego rather than trying to beat it out of you. I want you to love all of you because you are love and as you learn to love yourself, you are loving your brother and loving me because we are all One.”

How do you get the ego out of the way and create miracles in your own life? Know that the ego is not you.  You are that which is observing your ego. Don’t fight against the ego and the emotions you are feeling.  Experience them.  Let them run their course.

Many years ago, I learned to invite jealousy and all my feelings in for a cup of tea. I need to remember to do that again. How about you? Are you choosing Love and loving yourself? Are you experiencing miracles in your life?


The longer I travel this journey of life, the more I’m finding out about myself.  In the past, I’ve shared how difficult it is for me to accept compliments and positive attention from others.  The other day Pat and I were talking about reasons why it’s difficult to receive compliments and positive attention. 

The thought occurred to me that when I receive a compliment or receive positive feedback from another. I act like a turtle. You know how a turtle often presents itself dozing on a rock near a pond or around a shoreline with it’s head out enjoying the sun. Then as you approach the turtle it immediately pulls its head in for protection.  I’m becoming aware that is what I do when someone offers me a compliment or responds to something I’ve done in a positive manner.  

I pull back to protect myself because I’m afraid you will discover the real me, not the one you admire. I often think that if you understood what I deal with to try to become that person that you admire, you would have never offered me a compliment. If you could see the weak person that I think I am and my struggle with my ego and fear, you wouldn’t be giving me compliments. 

Then the ego tries to convince me that the person giving me a compliment really didn’t mean what they said. They are just trying to be nice or perhaps they want something from me. 

You know that I talk and write a lot about love, kindness and forgiveness and people have said to me “That’s easy for you to do.”  I look at them in astonishment, smile and slowly shake my head. Why would it be easier for me to do?   

It seems my mindset in the past has been that I have to say it, write it, and practice it perfectly before I can take credit for it.  LOVE (Spirit) is showing me that this is ridiculous. Trying to be perfect is an old belief that no longer serves me and never has.  When a person gives me a compliment, I am choosing to believe it’s because I have touched them in some way that they appreciate and they want me to know that.

So I hear LOVE saying “Don’t pull your head back in turtle, accept the gift and compliment, live in the moment and enjoy the experience.”  Well, I’m trying and learning to do that, I hope you are too.  Thanks for reading our sharing.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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