What a roller coaster of emotions this pandemic is bringing up for me, as I’m sure it is for you also. I’m peaceful, trusting and surrendered one minute and the next minute tears are flowing as sadness, grief and anger erupt about how things are unfolding and the people who are dying and alone, people losing their jobs and businesses closing. We have never been through anything like this and it takes great courage and faith to keep believing. We are in the darkness or the cocoon and we don’t know for how long we will be there.
Easter has always been a time to celebrate new life, new birth and the resurrection of Christ. I didn’t know what this Easter was going to be like with all that is going on in the world. There would be no family gatherings and Easter egg hunts for the children. We Zoomed with my family and it was great. My daughter and grandson did a magic show for us and Herbie played the guitar and we sang together.
Larry and I started our morning watching a live stream Easter concert special from Italy with Andrea Bocelli. It was moving and beautiful listening to Ave Maria and many others.
I had a special surprise that touched my heart today. Outside on our lanai was a “love dove” sitting in a planter. I spotted her Friday night just sitting quietly and not moving. I wondered if she would lay any eggs. I didn’t want to disturb her so I stayed away. Saturday morning, she was still patiently sitting there.
Early Sunday morning, I looked out the window to see if the “love dove” was still in the planter. I could see her moving side to side and up and down. When I saw her fly away, I quickly went to see if there were any eggs. Sure enough, there were 2 eggs. I felt excited and grateful to receive this gift and be a witness to the promise of “new life” on Easter Sunday.
It wasn’t long before mamma bird was back to care for her eggs. Sitting on her nest is providing warmth and protection for her eggs until they are ready to hatch. I have no idea how long she will sit there or if the eggs will even hatch. It takes time and it’s a process.
This reminds me of how our heavenly Father watches over us and protects His children until we are ready to be born again or born anew. We are never alone and always protected. We are always in process and it will take as long as it takes for us to be reborn. It takes courage to change and die to the old self.
The freedom to be myself is the greatest gift I can give to myself.
Larry and I were best friends for 2 years. It was six years ago on Easter Sunday that I turned and looked at him while celebrating Easter Sunday service that my eyes were opened. In that moment, I KNEW! He was right there in front of me all the time, but I didn’t see him. Why did it take 5 years for me to see he was the love of my life, my soulmate, the man I had waited for and dreamed about? I guess I wasn’t ready until I was ready. It’s a process.
Today, with tears rolling down my eyes I sang to Larry “Can’t help falling in Love with you” with Andrea Bocelli. It was emotional for both of us as we held hands and looked into each other’s eyes. I feel so blessed and grateful that I was single for 15 years and had the grace and willingness to wait for God’s perfect timing and fall in love with myself first. Did I like having to wait? No, I didn’t, but I’m glad I did!
We practice living in the moment and enjoying the time we have together. We are not promised tomorrow, all we have is today. We don’t know the future, but we are trusting God’s perfect timing and surrendering to “What is.”
I don’t want to waste this sacred “cocoon time” and not be transformed from the inside out. I am willing to do the deep inner work and learn the lessons I need to learn so I will be transformed into the “butterfly” I am meant to be. I am trusting the process and however long it takes to set myself free and fly.
The world is watching and waiting for NEW LIFE AND NEW BIRTH. We must die to the old so the new can come. Love is all there is and Love will prevail. Sending love and prayers from my heart to your heart wherever you may be. All is well.
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