Have you ever experienced doubts and fears after you made a commitment to move forward or made a big change in your life? It may be leaving a job or a relationship or moving to a new home where you don’t know anyone. It’s like all your fears come to the surface to get your attention and you wonder where they all came from.
During meditation this week, I had an image of a wasp’s nest being disturbed. Of course, it wasn’t a pretty scene with the wasp’s flying all around and attacking whatever was around them, including me. I read that “Wasps don’t attack or sting unless they are disturbed or they feel threatened or harmed. When they do attack, they are aggressive and will sting repeatedly.”
After the “Sacred Feminine Awakening and Healing Retreat” a few weeks ago, I made the decision to sign up for the 6-month “Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator Teacher Training.” When I prayed about it and asked Spirit if this was for my highest good, it was a definite YES.
Before I even knew about the 6-month certification training, I heard Spirit say, “You will be teaching this to women.” After I signed up for it, I felt peaceful and excited, especially when my son called on the same day to tell me he had a buyer for my house in Rhode Island and I would have the money for the course. Three days later, he called and said, “The guy didn’t show up so he’s not buying the house.” I said, “I’m glad my faith muscles are strong” and was able to laugh and send him love. My house is on the market now and I am trusting it will sell soon.
It is my belief that ego, when threatened (like the wasps), will attack and sometimes with a vengeance. Fear is what sustains the ego and it is threatened when I hear the voice of Spirit, know that I am one with God and am being guided daily.
My ego thoughts were all over the place and I lost my peace. All of the old beliefs that no longer serve me (that I thought were gone} were coming up for me to look at and let go of.
I have had a history of expecting myself to know something before I have even been taught. When I started a new job at the VA hospital 20 years ago and had to learn a new computer system, I beat up on myself when I didn’t learn fast enough. That is not being kind and patient with myself.
Right after the retreat 3 weeks ago, I was guided to put all the messages that I received from Spirit regarding the retreat and signing up for the certification in one book. I said to myself, “If I should feel fear, I can read all the messages again. After I read the messages from Spirit today, I knew I was being guided and that this was what I am meant to do. I am stepping into the unknown and trusting Spirit is in charge.
Once I became aware of what was happening and how ego was trying to rob me of my peace, I was back in my center knowing all is well and I am doing God’s work by saying YES to the course. The truth is I have been on the spiritual path and leading retreats for years and have the degrees and certifications to do God’s work. I am excited and blessed to be called to do this sacred healing work.
Spirit is inviting me (and YOU) to TRUST the voice within and to know that we are being guided in our journey every step of the way. There are no mistakes. I have a choice. I can trust that I am being led and I am exactly where I need to be or I can listen to my ego, which wants me to live in fear and not move forward. Ego wants me to stay small and to believe that I am separate from God and alone. I AM CHOOSING LOVE.
What voice are you listening to today?
I received this today and know this is the truth of WHO I AM AND WHO YOU ARE.
“Your light is seen. Your heart is known. Your soul is cherished by more people than you might imagine, If you knew how many others have been touched in wonderful ways by you, you would be astonished. If you knew how many people feel so much for you, you would be shocked. You are far more wonderful than you think you are. Rest with that. Breathe again. You are doing fine. More than fine. Better than fine. You are doing great. So relax. And love yourself today.” Neale Donald Walsch
“Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don’t know what lies ahead, I know, and that is enough. Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend – out of sight, but real. To receive these gifts, YOU MUST WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT. “ Jesus Calling
I pray about everything and ask for guidance from God. I then go within and listen for the answer and what feels right and peaceful to do next in my life. I may ask experts opinion when necessary but, ultimately, the decision is mine to make and I trust God for the answers.
I recently made the decision to sell my house in Rhode Island that I have been renting since I moved to Maui two and a half years ago. I didn’t have to sell it now, but it just felt like the next right thing to do. My tenants will be moving out at the end of July. Although I have help from my son, selling my house from Maui isn’t the easiest thing to do.
I was going along just fine with my decision when all of a sudden it was like a switch went off in my head and the fear and worry turned on. Of course all the “what ifs” popped into my head and you know how the mind can drive you crazy IF YOU LET IT. My fears are almost always about what may happen in the future or not having enough. As I believe, I gratefully receive. Worry is a form of unbelief. When I am in the present moment, I am at peace because I have everything I need and that is where God is.
My house didn’t sell when I tried to sell it two years ago and I asked myself, “What if that happened again and where would I get the money to pay the mortgage when I was already putting out so much money to pay the rent in my new home?” YIKES
I was sharing with my womens’ group that I felt some anxiety about putting my house up for sale. One of the women said, “Pat, you need to read your book again and REMEMBER all your stories about how your house sold in the past.” I knew she was right and decided to spend the next day with myself REMEMBERING all the miracles and what God had done in the past.
I knew I also had a CHOICE to escalate and entertain the fear or to choose love and trust God. It was that simple. I decided to choose love and practice what I knew worked to deepen my faith and to trust more deeply.
- I acknowledged my fear and asked God for healing and transformation.
- I spoke to my fear and said, “I will not let you rob me of my peace and serenity and living my dream.”
- I prayed and meditated and BREATHED deeply.
- I repeated, “Nothing can separate me from the presence of God. I am ONE with the presence of God. I am the presence of God.”
- I went within and listened for the next inspired action and then took that action
- I did what made me feel happy, joyful and felt good.
- I did what felt pleasurable – went for a swim, took a walk, took myself out to lunch, took a nap.
- I talked to myself “THINGS ALWAYS WORK OUT FOR THE GOOD” and it’s all for my highest good.
- I wrote a gratitude list.
- I practiced staying in the present moment – gazing at the flowers, clouds, trees & walking along the ocean.
- I accepted “what is.”
- I used affirmations, “Thank you God for the right and perfect person to buy my house and that it will flow with peace, ease and grace.”
- I visualized myself signing the closing papers for my house when I return to Rhode Island in August.
- I watched for “God Winks” and signs from God – and got lots of them.
- I said, “Just for today I will not be afraid or worried.”
- I reached out to a friend in need.
I used these tools as many times as I needed to until the fear was gone. I am so grateful how I recognize the fear and can move through it so quickly. As quickly as the switch was turned on, I have the POWER to shut it off immediately and bring myself back into God’s presence and peace.
To strengthen my faith, I took the advice of my friend and read my book again. There were many stories related to buying and selling houses and how God came through miraculously at the last minute. I will REMEMBER all that God has done in the past for me because God is the same yesterday as He is today and will be tomorrow.
I WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT. I trust in the Lord with all my heart and rely not on my own understanding. I know God is leading me and has me covered. All is well and so it is.
A few weeks ago, I shared about how we medicate our feelings through our addictions and, consequently, run away from ourselves and the God within. This week I would like to share with you my experience in dealing with some of my feelings that have come up for me. And there were a lot of feelings!
I had several unexpected experiences that brought up some feelings. I felt fear, overwhelmed, impatient, angry, sadness, misunderstood, discouraged, and disappointment. Yikes, no wonder why I felt so tired. Feeling my feelings takes energy and a commitment to myself to deal with everything that comes up. To feel is to deal and is to heal.
When fear (or any of the other feelings) came up, instead of denying, minimizing or judging them:
· I welcomed them in and befriended them
· I asked what gift it was bringing me
· I allowed myself to feel one feeling at a time and for as long as I needed to
· I processed the feeling and then let it go
· I changed my thinking when I needed to
· I spent time alone and trusted what I needed to do for myself in each moment
· I said no to spending time with a friend when I needed to attend to my own soul first and what was coming up
· I stayed present and listened to what my body needed, whether that be a nap in the middle of the day, a swim in the pool or a walk on the beach
· I practiced being grateful for every experience and sent love to all involved
My friend, Kati, and I were sharing about how our feelings have been coming up and how we dealt with them. We agreed that it almost feels like waves because they often come up from behind, unexpectedly and strong. It reminds me of “spring cleaning” getting rid of the old things that no longer serve us we so can prepare for the new to come.
Feelings are meant to pass quickly, they are like clouds in the sky and it’s the nature of them to move on. I cannot live in the moment and enjoy the present when my feelings are stuck inside, whether that is resentment, anger, fear, jealously or unforgiveness. To move on, we need to allow our feelings to come to the surface in order to let go and heal. We need to learn to give thanks for the opportunities that life provides for the surfacing of our feelings.
Feelings are gifts from God and we need to take time to listen to them. We must claim our true birthright: the freedom and courage to be ourselves, to feel and express our feelings. Feelings are the gateway to who we are. They are there to help us do what we need to do next. They give us clues if something is wrong, to help us protect ourselves and keep ourselves safe. They are a part of the human condition and we all have them.
It’s our resistance to feelings that cause more problems than the feelings themselves. Feelings are part of being alive and resisting those means resisting life. Feelings are energy, always in motion. Unstuck energy lives in the body when we resist our feelings. They get stuck in the body and may appear as a lump in the throat, heaviness in the throat or tightness in the stomach. Feelings live in our bodies and may come out as headaches, stomachaches, backaches and colitis if we don’t deal with them. Repressed feelings tend to lodge in the body in the form of hidden tensions, unhealthy habits and stress-induced chemical changes.
Many of us distance ourselves from emotional pain and cover our feelings with self judgment and make them wrong. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. We have also learned to control our feelings, to keep them hidden away, to stuff them and smile. When you push away parts of yourself, you fall deeper into isolation, feelings of unworthiness, self-hatred and depression. Depression can be a sign we are hiding from something or avoiding action. Often it is hidden anger. Depression is inverted anger.
It has been my experience that as I let go of the feelings that no longer serve me for my highest good, like fear, anger, doubt, unforgiveness and shame, I open my heart to experience more joy, love, peace and bliss. This is the path I choose to be on today and this is the path of Love.
Wherever you are on your spiritual journey and whatever you are feeling today, trust that you are right where you need to be for your highest good and to move forward in your life. Remember, Fear is useless, what is needed is trust. Let go and let God.
Something happened this week that reminded me of how I processed conflicting feelings at the same time. It felt like a “flashback” of a very difficult time in my life with one of my children 16 years ago. This is what happened: I woke up startled in the middle of the night with banging on the front door. I quickly grabbed my robe and ran down the stairs. A parent’s worst nightmare was about to happen. A policeman was standing at the door and I can still remember the terror I felt as if it were yesterday. “Mrs. Hastings, your son was in a very bad accident and he is in Rhode Island hospital.” I blurted out, “What happened, is he okay?” “I am sorry, but we cannot give you any information. We have been trying to call you, but your phone has been busy. I found out later that it was accidentally off the hook.
I ran upstairs and woke my husband up to tell him the news. I threw on something and we were in the car racing to the hospital, following the police car. We didn’t say a word to one another and of course my mind raced to the worst scenario. When we arrived at the emergency room, the nurse escorted us into the room my son was in. I will never forget the pain in my heart to see my 16 year old son wounded and crying out in pain. A short time later, I just about fainted and couldn’t breathe. I had never had a panic attack before, but I had one that night and I was put on a stretcher outside my son’s room. My husband went back and forth between my son and me.
My son has rods in his leg and arm that are permanent from the car accident. When I saw the pictures of the car, I realized they should not be alive and I was so grateful that they were all alive. Shortly after that, I found out that they had been to a club and had smoked pot that night. I was so angry. I remember having the same feelings at the same time – gratitude and anger.
I had the “flashback” because of a similar experience of having conflicting feelings at the same time this week. I asked myself, “How am I to process this and hold the energy of these conflicting feelings?” This is what happened. A close friend of mine shared something wonderful that happened to her and I was so excited for her. A couple of hours later, another close friend shared something that was devastating to him. I was experiencing the same thing, both the gratitude and the devastation at the same time. I asked myself, “Could I be present for both of them at the same time”? With God’s grace, I was able to be present for both of my friends.
We never know what life is going to give us, do we? One minute we are high on life and everything is going smoothly. The next minute we are experiencing a great loss and may feel devastated or betrayed. All I know for sure is that whatever is happening in my life will work out for the good because of my faith and trust in God. Everything that is happening in your life is for a reason and ultimately to grow your soul.
That same day, I received an email from my friend Karen and it put things into perspective for me and reminds me to rise above “victimhood and poor me attitude” when things don’t go the way I want them to go or when a loved one is struggling and in pain. This is the email she sent:
“You have chosen to walk this journey with many other souls. Each and every one of them is in your life for a reason, an experience, or to share in your life lessons and spiritual growth. What I believe is, before we even came into this lifetime we chose each and every player in this game called life. Imagine this visual. You are sitting with a council of spiritual guides and you’re talking about your life plan including what you would like to heal, experience, and create in this lifetime. Then you meet with each soul that will support you in this plan and you decide on the roles they will play in your life experience. Together you discuss and agree upon a soul’s plan that will support all involved in their life’s intentions. Every decision and choice is made from unconditional love. This includes the players in the game that agree to play the difficult roles in order to achieve the desired intentions.”
If you can see it from a higher perspective, that it is for your spiritual growth and that you have chosen this before you even came to the earth, would it be easier to go through? We all have our lessons to learn for our soul to grow. We have chosen these lessons.
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
No relationship or experience is ever a waste of time. If it did not bring you what you want, it taught you what you don’t want. The greatest gift we can give anyone is our presence and love. When you need encouragement, remember these things. You are stronger that you realize. Life’s inevitable adversities call forth courage and the growth of our souls. You have everything you need inside of you, including wisdom. God’s plan will unfold with perfect timing and in the perfect way. Being vulnerable and allowing other players to nurture and be present for us allows our hearts to connect in a very special way for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
As I sat down to write this, I lit a candle and asked God to speak through me clearly because I knew the learning and healing I experienced this week was profound. For most of my life, it was my belief that I had to be strong, perfect and “together” for me to be loved. I am learning that when I am weak, God is strong in me. I am also coming to believe that being vulnerable is a “strength” (rather than a weakness) because it allows me to be cared for by God and others in ways that are nurturing and healing. I am not only learning to trust and depend on God in a deeper way, but I am learning to ask others for help and to trust they will be there for me when I need them. I am on a spiritual journey of profound reliance on God. It is a faith walk that I take one step at a time, leaning on God and others as much as I need to.
I woke up this morning with a sharp pain in my neck and filled with anxiety. I kept repeating to myself, “I let go, I let go, I trust you God.” A few hours later when my friend Trudy came over to give me a ride to the bank, she could see the pain on my face. I burst into tears and said, “I am feeling very vulnerable, afraid and needy.” Feeling vulnerable, needy and powerless is not a place I like to be; I like to be in control and know that I can take care of myself at all times. When I told her what was going on, she was so compassionate, loving and happy to hold a space for me. She said, “When I was in so much pain last month, you called me every day to check on me and I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. I am happy to be here for you today.” She prayed with me while gently rubbing my back. We thanked God together for already answering my prayers. When she finished, we both cried as we knew on a deep level that God had brought us together to help and support one another in our time of vulnerability and need.
Here is what was going on: I let my friend borrow my “Maui Cruiser” car when I went back to Rhode Island for Christmas. A few days later she called and said, “Pat, I am afraid to drive your car because it is making a lot of noises. I cannot pick you up at the airport because I don’t think it will make it.” My car was working great when I left. I called my friend Steve who knows a lot about cars and helped me buy my car in September. He offered to go to my friend’s house and take a look at it for me. After he checked it out he said, “I think we should have it towed to my mechanic to make sure it is ok.” I agreed and called AAA in Hawaii and they were able to coordinate the towing to the garage. I was very grateful for Steve’s willingness to assist me with my car.
I was in Rhode Island and there was nothing I could do about it so I chose to stay in peace and trusted that the problem with my car was something minor and would be fixed. Of course, when I returned to Maui, I didn’t have a car and had to ask friends for rides to get around. Trudy has also offered to be my taxi cab driver while I am without a car. I wasn’t prepared when Steve called to give me the prognosis about my car. He said, “Pat, it needs a new engine. I have been looking on Craig’s list for a used engine and I found one in Lahaina and it costs $500. I will need the cash to bring to the mechanic so he can use his truck to pick up the engine.” I got off the phone in tears. I prayed and asked God who I could call to cash a check for me. My bank is out of state and I hadn’t opened a Hawaii bank account yet. Immediately, another friend came into my mind and I called and asked him for help. He was happy to assist me and agreed to meet me at his bank the next morning. I was filled with gratitude for his willingness to help me.
I realized that my feelings of vulnerability came from being alone here without family and not knowing anything about cars and engines and what I should do. I was choosing to trust Steve to guide me in my decision making. I prayed and asked God to open the door if I was to move forward and buy this “used engine” and close the door if it wasn’t a good engine. The story will be continued as it unfolds.
While this car business was going on which was stressful enough, I received a call from my new tenant in Rhode Island telling me she had several problems that needed to be addressed immediately; one of them being a leak in the dining room ceiling. My son gave me the name of someone who worked for him when he owned property. I called Walter and he agreed to go over the next day and address all of the problems. He contacted me afterward and told me what was needed to rectify the problems. Being 5000 miles away from my condo left me feeling quite vulnerable. I am sure that he could sense my stress with my quivering voice because as we were getting off the phone, he said, “I have it covered Pat, don’t worry.” It felt like God was saying to me, “I have it covered Pat, trust me and don’t worry. I have everything under control.”
The same day, I found out that one of my emails was hacked into and Delta Dental was dropping me because they hadn’t received my payment. Thank God both of these situations were taken care of and I didn’t lose my dental insurance.
I am learning to trust God by relinquishing my control and letting go and letting God. I am learning to ask others for help and trusting they will be there for me when I need them. I am learning to thank God in advance for how my prayers are being answered because an attitude of gratitude keeps me focused on God’s presence and power.
It is my belief that everything happens for a reason and that it is through problems and failures, weakness and neediness that I learn to rely more and more on God. Each problem or failure is followed by a growth spurt. I must have had a gigantic growth spurt this week. Whee…….. I am glad I got through it and can write about it. I know it’s all good and it’s all God.
DAILY WORD – LET GO LET GOD Jan/Feb pg.23
As I let go and let God, I am in the divine flow of life. Chores, tasks, commitments – I always have plenty to do. At times, I may even let my to-do list manage me, rather than the other way around. So today, I take a different approach: I let go. I let go of rushing, resentment, perfectionism and any feelings of insufficiency. Whatever I choose to do, I focus on it with gratitude, aware of the presence of God in this moment and in this work. I let God direct me through each activity with grace and ease, and I experience the joy of giving. When I finish, I bless what I have done and move on to my next task. I work in this way throughout the day, letting go and letting God steer me from one activity to the next. I am in the divine flow, and I am grateful
As I was pulling out of the restaurant parking lot last Sunday, I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw a sign on the back bumper of the car parked next to me. It read, Relax – God is in control. I beeped for my friend Glenn to get out of his car so he could also see the sign. I said, Holy S…… He said, “Are you kidding me? It is the exact words we just talked about as we walked out of the restaurant.” He was speechless other than a softly uttered “thank you” because we knew this was GOD speaking to us both. He took a picture of the car and put it as a screen saver on his phone to help him remember the message! He said, “This is a message I can’t afford to ignore, a message clearly given out of Love and felt in my Soul.” We left the restaurant in awe of the power of God and the love we both felt. It truly was a “Divine Connection.”
I almost missed this “Divine Connection” of God speaking to us through the bumper sticker because I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity. Let me explain. I met Glenn at the church we both attended, and after the service he asked me, “Would you like to go to lunch?” I hesitated at first because I didn’t want to spend the money. I had been out to lunch with friends several times that week and I didn’t feel comfortable spending any more money. I said, “Thank you for the invitation, but I will have to pass for today.”
After he left the church, I quickly realized I was coming from lack and scarcity because I did have the money. I ran out after him and called his name. “Glenn, I changed my mind and I would be happy to go to lunch with you.” I was honest and said, “I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity and I no longer choose to live in a state of lack.” He told me a few days later what he heard after he left the church to go to his car.. “Glenn, walk slow, she might change her mind” and then “listen, in case she calls your name” right before I called his name. I am so grateful that we were both listening to our “inner voice” and God (which I believe are the same.)
While driving to the restaurant, I heard God say, “I want you to pay for his lunch too.” When I hear God, I listen. When the bill came, I grabbed for it and told him, “I am buying.” He looked uncomfortable and said, “This is killing me.” I asked why and he said, “I have to learn to receive and not always be giving.” He was learning to receive and I was practicing not to live in lack and scarcity.
We sat in the restaurant for two hours and the conversation about life and spirituality just flowed. We talked about the importance of not “reacting” and making decisions out of fear and lack . His parting words to me were, “I think I need to put the brakes on in my life.” I then told him about my sign RELAX that I purchased several years ago when I was rushing and trying to make things happen and it wasn’t working. I desperately needed to learn to RELAX. He described himself as an ACTION person and that he had tried everything in his life to be happy. He admitted that he was hitting walls and didn’t know what to do next. I shared how I have learned to trust and accept that I am right where I need to be and that “Not Knowing what was next” was okay.
Glenn sent me an email after our “Divine Connection” and said, “Pat, before I attended church that morning, I asked myself, What are you going to do about your life? A numb feeling of distress filled me as I held back the true fear that was rushing through me. I was struggling and in need of help, help to learn how to care for myself as I did for others. I was trapped in my own mind-set surrounded by my personal weaknesses and feeling overwhelmed.”
He shared with me, “As I soaked in every word you said at lunch, I finally felt the connection to my Creator push forward from where I had buried it. My hope began to come back, my sense of calm re-appeared and the confidence in my spiritual path and a better tomorrow over-took me. Thank You God for the message I needed. Thank you Pat for pointing it out. Thank you for the lunch that led me back to the path that I cherish and has brought me so much peace and happiness since its inception that I have to pinch myself to know it’s not a wonderful dream.”
I am grateful that I listened to my intuition and acted “quickly” and that I was able to be honest with Glenn. I am grateful that Glenn was open and asked for what he needed. I am grateful to God for His love, for speaking to us both so powerfully and allowing me to serve him that day.
I thought about the bumper sticker all week and how it applied to my life. My house was on the market for one week and I was feeling some impatience (can you imagine that) that no one had looked at my house yet. When I went to bed that night, I prayed for a dream and asked God if I should lower the price of my house. All I remembered about the dream in the morning was that I was rushing. It felt like God was reassuring me not to rush that everything was under control.
As I took my walk the next day, God impressed on my heart exactly what I needed to do: rather than worrying, being fearful, living in the “what ifs” and the HOW and WHEN my house will sell, I needed to up the ante with my affirmation of gratitude “Thank you God for the right and perfect person to buy my house for the right price and right timing.” So it became my mantra whenever I thought about the house and it brought me peace and serenity.
On another note, I opened my email a few days ago and there was an email from my son Tim. He commented on my last blog and said, “When I looked at the picture that read KEEP ON PATH, what I saw was KEEP ON PAT H – KEEP ON! I loved it. So I will leave you with KEEP ON, KEEP ON!
After living in Maui since January, I can hardly believe that I will be returning to Rhode Island in 2 weeks (and selling everything so I can move back here to live full time.) I am so excited to see my family and friends that I am counting the days until I get back there. It has been an amazing journey of transformation, love, surrendering, letting go and healing. I have learned so much about myself, my beliefs and what needed to change inside of me in order to be the woman God created me to be and for me to receive more good in my life.
As I walked home from my walk today, the two words that popped out for me were “No push, no rush.” Hmm…..that’s interesting, I thought. That was my way of being. I was always pushing myself to do and be more and rushing through life like I would miss something if I didn’t rush. In fact, I called myself a “Rushaholic” and it exhausted me. I realize now that these behaviors came from the belief that “I am not good enough and not worthy and deserving of good things.” Over the years, I have worked hard at changing these beliefs that no longer serve me through prayer, meditation, journaling, visualizations and affirmations. Every once in awhile, I catch myself rushing or racing, but much much less than it has ever been. Today, I truly enjoy going with the flow and following my intuition.
God’s timing is perfect and I have been reflecting on how perfectly everything has been orchestrated on my behalf with my housing both here in Maui and in Rhode Island. I am leaving this beautiful condo on the ocean that I am renting with Pat and Bob on June 26 to return to Rhode Island. Pat and Bob will be moving into the new condo they bought on June 30 and then my tenant, Carrie Ann in Rhode Island, is moving out of my condo and settling in her new condo on June 29! I could not have planned that any better. It is truly amazing what happens, when I let go and let God handle how things work out. I can’t wait to see what will happen when I return to Rhode Island to sell my house. I am already thanking God for the right and perfect person to buy my house and for the right and perfect price.
I plan to buy my return ticket back to Maui for September 5, 2012. My friend, Ellen, is going away for the month of September and has invited me to stay in her condo while I look for a place to rent. I am very excited to see how it will unfold and the beautiful place that is already mine in the mind of God. When I think about leaving this condo on the ocean, each morning when I look out, I say “This is something better, God.”
I would like to share another way I heard God speak to me this week. I encountered the woman who was staying in the condo right next to mine, and she turned and smiled as she walked back into her condo and said, “We just got here 4 hours ago. I can see you have been here awhile, YOU GOT IT GOING ON! ” I smiled and thought, wow, I do got it going on girl, but I didn’t know it was so obvious. I walked around all day with giddy excitement, saying to myself, “YES, I GOT IT GOING ON!” And guess what, YOU have it going on too! Just saying this out loud has really shifted my energy and I am now saying it to others and love to see their face light up and smile.
Can you picture that? Try saying it aloud and see how it feels. Other than feeling sassy and confident, I decided to answer the question “what does this mean to me?” It means that God, my essence and my God-self is shining out and radiating love to the world as I remember who I am and that I am ONE with God. My prayer was “Thank you God, I feel so blessed, loved and excited about the adventure of the future and all that you have planned for me. I say YES to your divine plan.”
Another thing I have learned about the Divine Plan is that it requires having faith that the right doors will open for me when necessary, and the right doors will close for me as well. This week I had an example of God closing the door in my face, and how it all worked out for the best. Ellen approached me with the news that her 94-year-old friend, Ester, was selling one of her cars. Her daughter had bought her a new car and had given Ester her 1999 Ford Escort. Ester was selling it for a great price and even though it was an old “Maui Cruiser,” it seemed to be in decent condition. I called the insurance company and the DMV and got all the information I needed. Believe me, this was not my plan to buy a car before I moved back here, but it seemed like the right thing to do since it came to me and I felt peaceful. My prayer was, “God, close the door if this is not your divine plan.” I was excited to think I would have a car all set when I moved back to Maui and it seemed like a confirmation that “I really am moving back here.” To my surprise, a few days later, Ester called and said, “I am really sorry but my daughter decided not to sell her car, after all.” I got off the phone a little stunned and disappointed, but very quickly said, “Thank you God for closing the door.”
Then my next thought was that “I will get a car for free.” I really liked that idea and it will be interesting to see how that manifests. I asked myself, “Did I only feel deserving of an old Maui Cruiser?” Perhaps God wants more for me and now I see myself driving a shiny convertible red car!
As I sat on the beach looking into the ocean and feeling very peaceful, I overheard a few words in a conversation behind me. All I heard was “RELAX, it will come to you.” I believe those words were meant for me. I have used this affirmation for years and it seems to apply here, “Everything I need is streaming toward me, I open my hands and receive.” I believe my soul mate will come to me, the car will come to me, the right place to live when I move back to Maui will come to me, and the right person to buy my house in Rhode Island will come to me. My job is to “show up” do my part and leave the HOW up to God. It works every time.
Daily Word Magazine
I am part of and immersed in the order of life. My breathing is orderly and rhythmic, as is my heartbeat; neither requires my control or direction. I relax into the flow of divine order and allow God to express in and through me, guiding my unfolding. As each new day begins, divine order manifests in all I think and do. Divine order is established in my life, and I am grateful.
Like the eagle, I am meant to soar. I am meant to let go of fear and limitations, to apply the strength and abilities God has given me. I place my faith in God and my spirit soars.
I thought that once I made the decision to move to Maui to live, it would be easy and everything would just fall into place. Not so. I know in my heart and soul this is what God is calling me to do, and God will give me everything I need, but it has not always been easy. I have committed to selling my house, so going home and selling all of my “stuff” that I have accumulated for years is mind-boggling. Leaving my family and friends and starting all over again and being in the mystery of “not knowing” what’s next stretches me to rely on God even more. It is called “Holy Courage.”
When I shared some of my concerns and fears about selling my house and moving with my son Tim, he said, “Mom, why wouldn’t it work out? Look at all that has happened to you already with going to Hawaii?” The light bulb went off and I said, “Of course it will work out, what was I thinking?” That was the problem – my thinking! How easy it is to forget the truth and go back to unhealthy thinking of fear and lack. When I dwell in the past or the “what ifs” of the future, I am not in the NOW where there is peace and love and God.
I am like a “thought detective” and as soon as I become aware that my thinking is negative, I work on changing my thoughts. I knew I needed to change my thinking if I was going to be at peace and manifest what I wanted. Instead of saying, “it’s going to be a challenge to sell my house in 2 months, it will never sell that quickly, ‘what if’ it doesn’t sell and I can’t move back to Hawaii?” I needed to change my thinking to: “My house will sell with peace, ease and grace at the perfect and right time and to the right and perfect person. I will be compensated the right and perfect price.” That felt so much better. I wrote exactly what I wanted down on paper and put it on my altar. I will pray and meditate with it daily, just like I did before I moved here. I thanked God in advance for the right and perfect person to rent my home and the right and perfect place to live in Maui. And that is exactly what happened. What you think about, you bring about.
My friend and I were talking about faith on the phone the other day. She asked, “Pat, do you ever get afraid?” I laughed and said, “Yes, of course I do, I am human” but I wasn’t feeling afraid at that moment. Little did I know that fear would grip me just a couple of days later and I would wake up in the middle of the night with racing thoughts and my mind felt like a blender that wouldn’t shut off. I know what it’s like to have anxiety, tightness in the chest and a knot in my stomach. It still amazes me that when a situation occurs unexpectedly and fear grips, my mind goes to the worst scenario, which of course, then causes more anxiety and fear. I am grateful to God when hidden fear comes up because it’s a sign that I need God’s love and healing. I have also been told that Mother Maui will bring up all of your “stuff.”
Thankfully, I know what to do when fear rears its ugly head. I know how to face my fears and work through them. I have the tools to move me forward that I have been practicing for years. I immediately sat down and prayed and meditated.
Here are my 7 miraculous tips when fear grips.
1. Slow down and breathe – plug into the power within – meditate, pray, journal
2. Feel your feelings – welcome in your feelings and don’t judge them or shame yourself
3. Identify negative self-defeating thoughts and change them by doing affirmations
4. Remember what God has done in the past
5. Be grateful – write a gratitude list, focus on what’s good rather than what’s missing
6. Forgive yourself, don’t shame yourself and love yourself
7. Let go and let God – surrender, detach and let go on control (and the outcome)
When I sat down to pray and meditate, I felt anxious and fearful about the situation I encountered. When I finished my prayer and did the above steps, I felt like a new person and my peace returned. I know that I am responsible for my emotional and spiritual health and I can choose to stay in fear and let my mind create all kinds of negative scenarios or I can choose peace, trust and surrender. When I wrote my gratitude list, my energy shifted almost immediately. Then, if the fear returns, I repeat the steps over until my peace is restored and I remember the truth of who I am and who God is in my life.
Psalm – “Fear is useless, what is needed is trust.”
Mine Is An Adventurous Heart – Julia Cameron, author of Artist Way
“I choose an expansive life. I choose adventure, freedom, self-expression. I choose self-definition, self-love and self renewal. Life expands or contracts according to my expectations. I expect good and that is what I experience. Viewing the whole, I choose to be interconnected yet independent. I allow the God-force within me to open and enlarge my lens of perception and realm of action. My horizons stretch ever wider as I define my identity in terms of my divinity. I am an adventurer, an explorer, a dreamer whose dreams become true. I embrace the adventure of life. I have courage.”
When my friend Pat asked me if I wanted to attend the 3 day sacred retreat in Maui two months ago, I immediately said, “Yes.” After I read the description, I knew in my spirit that I was being called to attend this retreat. This is how it was described: We would be embarking on a pilgrimage into the power and complexity of sacred space in the magical land of Hawaii. There would be time for chanting, meditating, releasing, aligning, dancing, enlightenment, awakening and exploring the nature of the power of the two most important energy vortexes in Hawaii. This pilgrimage to the energy vortexes would help us understand how we could tap into this power source and be a part of the awakening that is taking place in 2012. It sounded awesome and I knew I wanted to be there.
I am so grateful that I listened to my intuition and went on this pilgrimage because it was an experience of a lifetime and I will never be the same. There were many personal messages and healings that I will be integrating into my life over the next few weeks. I met powerful women who have also been called to Maui and are seeking to create community. The high point of the weekend for me was driving up through the clouds to Mt. Haleakala, which is the largest dormant volcano in the world. Haleakala means “house of the sun” and when we reached the top, the sun was very bright and strong. Mt. Haleakala is 10,023 feet above sea level and overlooks all of Maui and we could actually see the Big Island from there.
When we were chanting and standing in a circle at the top of the mountain, the energy was so intense and strong that at one point, I almost fell backward as the energy swirled around me. It was very powerful to kneel in prayer and raise my arms to the heavens, knowing deeply that I am loved and ONE with God. I thought about the disciples and how they must have felt when they were on the mountain top with Jesus and didn’t want to leave the place. I didn’t want to leave either and felt like I was being transformed. Because of this journey, more than ever, I know I am being called to BE here in Maui. Maui has been described as one of the most powerful energy places in the world and my heart expands in humble gratitude that I am here.
Every aspect of this weekend illuminated the power of God and the importance of trusting in divine providence and divine timing in all things. When we arrived at the bed and breakfast on Thursday night, the owner, Sandy, informed us that we didn’t have any reservations. There was a miscommunication and the place was booked for the weekend. Pat and Ellen and I looked at each other knowing that God was in control and trusting it would work out for our highest good. We reminded ourselves to BREATHE! And it did work out for our highest good in more than we could have ever imagined. Sandy graciously called her friends Roslyn and Barry who had a bed and breakfast a short distance away and asked if they had rooms to rent. Yes, they did!
With bags in hand, off we went to our next destination. Our eyes opened wide as we pulled into the circular driveway and sprawling house in the middle of this lush beautiful land. We knew we were being taken care of and that all was well. The house was gorgeous with beautiful rooms, a pool and view of the ocean. Roslyn and Barry were so hospitable and told us that before they moved into the house, they had rented it to a spiritual leader and author Ram Dass for a few years. They also told us the Dali Lama stayed with Ram Dass when he came to Hawaii. Wow, to think I may have been sleeping in the same room as the Dali Lama slept was an awesome thought.
God’s timing is perfect. Two days prior to the retreat, I received an email from a colleague informing me she was going to reimburse me the $250 dollars that I lent her over a year ago for a business opportunity we were both involved in. I sent her several emails over the year requesting to be compensated, but due to her financial status she wasn’t able to pay me the money until now. I had already paid for the retreat when I signed up, but still had to pay for 3 nights for the bed and breakfast. The money came at the perfect and right time and “coincidentally” the bill for the 3 nights came to $260.
Here is another example of how God provides. Last month, I traveled to the Big Island to give a workshop. A couple of days before I went, I received a check in the amount of $332 from the IRS. I couldn’t believe it because it was a refund from 2010 stating that I overpaid them. I wonder how many times that happens. I had a great time touring the Big Island and when I returned, I realized that I had spent almost exactly what I received from the IRS. God is good.
I know that God is my source and provides in ordinary and sometimes miraculous ways. God’s timing is perfect. We are being called to trust our intuition, to go with the flow, live in the NOW, stand in faith and trust in God for everything. It is my belief that God goes before us to pave the way. Today, the world is being renewed, awakened and enlightened. We are blessed to be a part of the magnificent wave of healing and transformation that is taking place on the earth today.
F E A R Old meaning – False Evidence Appearing Real
F E A R New meaning – FEELING EXCITED AND READY
I never know what I am going to witness when I pray and mediate each morning. I may see a whale waving to me as it jumps right out of the water. A few days ago, I saw a huge sea lion that weighed over 1000 pounds playing with a turtle! Today, I watched 15-20 surfers ride the waves and I learned something about surfing and life. The surfers sit and wait for the perfect wave that they can ride. They have faith and know that the wave will come. I am sure it is exhilarating and exciting to catch the wave that will carry them for long distances. I asked myself, “How do they know which wave will give them the best ride and when to wait for the next one?” I observed how patient they were and how they trusted their instincts. They intuitively seemed to know when to turn the board, when to go into the wave or when to jump off and dive into the ocean.
I am sure they have practiced for years to be that good because there were some huge waves crashing over them and it was breathtaking to watch. I thought to myself, “ I am sure they learned to surf on small waves before graduating to the giant waves.” What I noticed is that when a wave crashed over them and they tumbled into the ocean (which had to be scary), they got up immediately and headed back for the next wave to come. They didn’t give in to fear.
Just like the surfers wait patiently for the perfect wave, we need to practice patience and trust in the manifestation of our dreams – “knowing” deep within us that our dreams will manifest at the perfect and right time. We need to stay in the water of life if we are going to catch the wave – the next opportunity or miracle. How tempting it is to give up and forget our dreams because it is not happening fast enough. We may give up right before the miracle. We must practice by showing up daily for our lives and trusting in a Higher Power.
This is what I learned from watching the surfers that I can apply to my life. I must be patient and wait, trusting that I am right where I need to be and I must believe the right and perfect answer will show up at the right time. I must go within and trust myself that I will know what to do when I need to do it. It may be to stay in a relationship, or a job, or it may be to let go and leave. I have learned over the years that when problems crash over me like the waves in the ocean, I need to get right back up, face my fears and not give up. I know that I can trust in a Power greater than myself to sustain me and support me, no matter how it looks on the outside.
As I look back over my life and the many situations I have encountered, I realized I was more like the surfer than I thought. I know what it is like to face my fear and dive in. I could feel deep within myself when it was time to leave a 30 year marriage, and I needed to come out of denial, face my fear and take those steps towards change, in order to live my dream. Was it scary? Of course it was. I also know that I couldn’t have left one minute earlier than I did. I had to be prepared and ready. I don’t regret my marriage, but I knew it was no longer bringing me joy and I wasn’t living my life to the fullest. Today I am living my dream and riding some amazing powerful waves.
Are you waiting for the perfect wave in your life like a new job, home, relationship, health, abundance? I am waiting patiently for the perfect wave in my life – and that is for Perfect Love. I thank you God for the Perfect Love that will come to me in peace, ease and grace. I am not willing to settle for a small wave and I am not willing to give up. Like the surfers, I know and believe the wave will come. Do you believe your wave will come?
Right after I finished writing this, my friend Pat and I went into town to the used book store. She was looking for a book for her husband. As we were leaving, I spotted this small book “Surfing” Hawaiian provers and inspirational quotes. This is what I opened to:
“Surfing big waves is all about overcoming fear. Fear paralyzes and fear causes hesitation, and fear is something that we all have…. So every year, if you’re going to surf big waves, you have to go through a process of mentally and physically preparing yourself. The physical part is relatively simple – you have to be fit, you swim, you run. But the mental part is a lot more challenging because you have to revisit old fears and you have to overcome them again.” Jim Howe
“The surfer acquired the patience to wait for things to happen rather than try to make them happen. With each successful ride, he experienced a feeling of spiritual achievement, he came into harmony with nature; and nature, for all practical purposes is God.” Tom Blake
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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