God shined His Flashlight into my Heart”

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Oct
19

I will be moving into my new Ohana today and am so excited and ready. Of course, I already have it decorated in my mind’s eye. It has been 6 weeks since I landed in Maui and I am very grateful to my new friends who opened their hearts and homes to me. I was invited to stay with my friend Joni in her beautiful “resort home,” overlooking the ocean and surrounded by luscious flowers right before my ohana was ready to move into.  For 6 days, I felt like a queen. I have been living out of suitcases and boxes and my car is packed to the brim with everything I own!  Here is what it looks like.

As the yard sale queen, God is providing me with everything I need at great prices. Here is one example: While I was house sitting in Makawao for the last 16 days, I fell in love with Summers “Homedics Massaging Cushion” for a chair. I casually asked God to provide one for me at a yard sale and then forgot about it. I was quite happy when I walked into the yard sale and spotted the brand new, still in the box “Homedics Massaging Cushion” and at an unbelievable price. God is good. We must ask, believe and then expect good to come our way in Gods timing.

Several weeks ago I went to a big yard sale and Joseph and Marlowe (who are becoming household names) were also there. I greeted them briefly and said, “I can’t talk now!” and off I went to see what bargains I could find. They got in the car and laughed like crazy because I was so focused. They said, “She is a woman on a mission.” I felt embarrassed because I didn’t realize it was so obvious!

I feel like a kid in a candy shop, running around and wanting to taste everything all at once. This is what it has been like for me since I moved to Maui. I want to paint, do yoga, attend the energy healing circle, change my diet and eat healthier, give up sugar (maybe), exercise more, learn how to chant, dance, do water aerobics to name just a few – and I want to do it all NOW. Can you relate? It makes me tired just thinking about it.

It’s the energy of the island and being in nature that is naturally calling me to change.This is a good thing, but I don’t have to do it all at once. Too much of a good thing is never a good thing. I am responsible for the pace and peace I bring to each moment and peace and love is my intention each day. I have to admit my impatience of “wanting it all now” was definitely being activated as well as the belief that if I don’t do it now, it won’t happen at all. I’ve realized that as I teach others, I have to RELAX and slow down.

I shared in an earlier blog that I was going to be house sitting for 16 days and that I wanted to (P&P) Pray and Play. My desire was to go deeper with God and myself, although I really didn’t think about what that meant. For me, going deeper means that I allow and invite God’s “flashlight” to shine in places in my heart that needed to be transformed and healed. I do that by paying attention to what my body and spirit need because they always guide me to the truth and inspire me as to what to do next.

When I woke up on Sunday morning, I didn’t feel like going to church, which felt strange, because I love attending the Unity service. I felt like staying home to be with myself and God. I didn’t know why but when I went inside and got quiet, I knew it was the right thing to do for myself. I didn’t “should” on myself or doubt myself because I have learned to trust my “Inner Knower,” which is always right. Once I made the decision to stay home, the peace came, which for me, is is always a sign that I am doing the right thing.

What I have learned about myself is that as an introvert, I get my energy from going inside. I love people and connecting but I get “recharged” when I am quiet and go within. It is vital to my well being that I take the time to do this, because for many years, I stayed busy and ran around like a chicken without its head, in order to avoid my feelings (especially self hatred, shame, fear and inadequacy). I became exhausted and lost my peace. No more! Today, I feel everything and strive to live in the present moment so I can be in the flow. It is only in the present moment that I experience God. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet. Today it is about “allowing” and not pushing and making things happen.

Part of going within is paying attention to my dreams, because God often speaks to me through a dream. I may not have a dream that I remember for months and then I have one that I remember and work with it.  A few nights ago, I had a dream that I went back to my old job that I retired from, but I had no clients. I wasn’t even getting paid and it was almost like I was invisible. I asked myself some important questions like “where I am going backward in my consciousness or choosing to remain in the past and why?”

As I worked with the dream, I became aware that I was still connecting my sense of value to working and getting paid. Because I am not receiving a “paycheck,” I was doubting my value and worth. I want to believe that my value and worth comes from my connection to the divine and it is not about doing, but BEING.  As I continued to go deeper to reach the belief that was still operating, it surprised me what came up. The bottom line belief was “I will run out of money and not be able to provide for myself and not be able to live my dream.”

My prayer was, “Thank you God for bringing this to the light so it can be transformed into faith.”  I believe that God is my source, not my pension, social security or my 401K. All this can be taken away in a twinkle of an eye and all that is left is God. I know that having a big bank account is not where my security and value come from. There is nothing wrong with having a big bank account because I believe God’s desire for me is to be prosperous, but God doesn’t want me to live in fear and worry that I will run out of money.

I waste precious time and energy if I worry and stress that I will not have enough money to provide for myself. I am also not trusting God to provide for all of my needs and then I remind myself that I have always been provided for. I believe this is a universal belief that many people struggle with and that God wants to heal. Can you relate and do you live in fear that you will run out of money, or that your value and worth comes from making money?

This was confirmed when I opened the Daily Word (pg 53) and read: “I need to clear my mind of any thoughts of lack or limitation. I confidently deny this power over me. I synchronize my thoughts with ideas of divine abundance and the creative flow of God’s good. Inspired, capable and ready, I act on divine guidance. With gratitude, I AFFIRM GOD AS MY CONSTANT SOURCE OF SUPPLY. I maintain an attitude of prosperity in all areas of my life and my needs are abundantly met”.

It says in scripture that the battle is in the mind. I have shared that my daily mantra is “I open my heart to receive more good and more of God.” I can say this a million times a day, but it will not work if my belief is  “I am not good enough, worthy or deserving of good.”  I must do battle with these beliefs on a daily basis so I can live in the love and light of who I truly am as a child of the Divine.

Daily Word pg. 60  I HAVE THE POWER TO CREATE A HAPPY & SUCCESSFUL LIFE

I am creating my life on thought, one feeling, one response at a time.  Creation begins in mind as a divine idea. Flashes of insight and inspiration, dreams and desires, manifest into thoughts and words. As I take action and proceed in faith, divine ideas take form in my life. Through the creative power of imagination and faith, I use my spiritual qualities and gifts, building a life that is secure, prosperous, happy and healthy.