Are you a Rushaholic? Do you race around, multi-task and feel exhausted at the end of the day-and maybe even a little resentful?
Rushing was my addiction and a way of life for many years. On the outside, I looked peaceful, but there was an “inner rushing” that was pervasive and intense. I never rested or went within for my answers. I believed others had the answers for my life. I constantly raced around, going from one thing to another. If I rushed and stayed busy, I didn’t have time to feel my feelings and go within. I felt energized and powerful when I rushed. It gave me the illusion that I was in control.
Just like the alcoholic who uses alcohol to medicate painful feelings, I used rushing to medicate painful feelings from my childhood. I always pushed myself to do more and be more. I never felt good enough and didn’t know how to relax and just BE. Doing is what made me feel strong and bolstered my self esteem-what little I had. It almost killed me because I was disconnected from myself, God and the people I loved.
I read that rushing was abusive and a death wish. It’s a death wish because when you rush all the time, you disconnect from yourself and from the divine energy of God within. When you rush, you’re not respecting yourself or the God within. “Coping with speed has become the heroic journey that consumes the lifetime of the common man and woman. It is our greatest killer. Rushing puts you into adrenaline overload and drenches the body in epinephrine, a hormone stimulated by stress, anger or fear.” (Seven Whispers, Baldwin 2002.)
With any addiction, you need to stay vigilant. The old behaviors of rushing and staying busy often show up when you’re stressed, feel afraid or are triggered by something outside of yourself. It may be unfinished business from your childhood that needs to be healed and dealt with. The first step is to recognize the old behaviors and admit to yourself and God what’s going on. It is important not to beat up on yourself. What you need to do is to love and be compassionate with yourself. The second step is to ask for God’s help.
God often speaks to me through symbols; one of them being the turtle. I have them all over my house as a reminder of what is important in my life and what I need to do to maintain peace and Godliness. Turtles teach me about patience – which I wanted yesterday!
Slow and steady, the turtle knows when to move and when to stay still and rest. Turtles go within for their answers because they know the truth is within. As the turtle knows when to go in, I’m learning to go inside and trust myself, my intuition and my gut.
When you go inside, ask yourelf “What am I feeling and thinking?” You may need to change your stinking thinking. It’s so easy to take things personally or jump to conclusions and be negative. When you stick your head out, like the turtle, ask yourelf, “What action do I need to take?” It may be that you need to speak up, set a boundary, say “no,” forgive someone or let go of a resentment.
If you want peace and Godliness in your life, you must be willing to change. It only takes one person to change your life – you. You must be awake and practice slowing down, relaxing and living in the moment. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet. Make a commitment to yourself and God to connect/plug into the Power on a daily basis and ask for help and healing. I guarantee it will change your life and you are worth it. It’s your choice. Each morning, I get on my knees and ask for help. My intention is to love, be peaceful and to serve.
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