I had a “Meltdown” before trip to the East Coast

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Sep
2

I’m on the plane coming home to Maui as I begin this blog. I’ve missed writing my weekly blogs and sharing what God is doing in my life. I don’t know where to start as my trip was amazing, awesome, fun, magical, powerful and miraculous.

First, I want to share what happened the week before leaving for my trip. I had a “meltdown” and called Larry in tears and asked if he would come over. When he walked in the door and hugged me I said, “I am a mess, will you still love me?”  Of course, he smiled and said, “Yes.” I felt exhausted, vulnerable and weak, but on some level I knew I was being triggered from my past and something was coming up. The tears were healing something very deep within. I couldn’t stop crying as I thought about some things from my past and the stories I had made up in my mind. I spent the day in prayer and asked God to heal and free me. I clearly needed to LET GO of the stories because they weren’t true, even though I had believed them for so many years. I am so grateful how quickly I am able to process my feelings and allow them to flow through me, because the next day I was back to myself again.

I arrived in Providence, without incidence, for my family reunion. It was wonderful being at my daughter, Mary’s, farm and being with my children and grandchildren. I spent quality time with each one of them and felt so loved. I was there for one week before Larry joined me for the next two weeks. This was the first time he was meeting my children and I was going to meet his children who also lived on the east coast.

Before our trip to the east coast, Larry and I had a mantra that we prayed often. It was, “Our trip will flow with peace, ease and grace.” Larry hadn’t been off  the island since he moved to Maui 8 years ago so it was a little stressful for him at first. As we practiced and repeated our mantra, we both became more and more relaxed and peaceful. I know how powerful our words and thoughts are and we GET WHAT WE EXPECT. We were expecting everything to flow with peace, ease and grace, and it did.

Since I had LET GO and emptied myself of what was no longer useful and for my highest good the week before, I was open to RECEIVE all that God had planned for me and for us. When I become willing to let go of the junk (fear, doubt, judgments), LOVE fills me to overflowing. Of course, as expected, EVERYTHING FLOWED WITH PEACE, EASE AND GRACE.

I know that LOVE IS ALL THERE IS. I have been loved and have loved in the past, but I was experiencing a LOVE like I never experienced before. I was very emotional and cried easily whenever I talked about my relationship with Larry and our love for one another.

Not only did I have fun and play, but I gave the sermon at the Unitarian Church and led a workshop for 12 women at my daughter’s farm. My journey to Maui began when I spoke at the church 4 years ago. I shared how I am LIVING MY DREAM today and living on the ocean in Maui with my soul mate. Here is the email I received from the committee after I gave the sermon.

“The rave reviews keep coming in. I do believe we had the best service this summer and will even exceed Jazz Sunday tomorrow.  I continue to get calls of gratitude for having brought you in.  Your faith just glowed through your sermon and everyone could see it. You are a blessed woman.”

I know that the women who attended my workshop on Saturday were hand chosen by God. I had prepared a talk and schedule, but didn’t end up following it at all. Instead, I was led by Spirit and completely let go of what I planned on doing. I love when I am able to trust like this and allow Spirit to lead. Here is an email I received from one of the women.

“Dear Pat, yesterday was one of my absolute most favorite days. I loved meeting you and everyone who attended the workshop. It was so delightful. I didn’t want the day to end, it went so quickly. I’m so grateful I picked up that newspaper a few weeks ago and saw that tiny little article. No doubt in my mind, it was a Godincidence. You are such a blessing, Pat and I look forward to seeing you again. P.S. I loved meeting Larry too. What a great guy.”

A few days after we returned home, I experienced another “meltdown” or moment of consciousness and truth.  I opened my heart to LOVE and in so doing God brought to light some fear that needed healing and transformation.  I felt vulnerable, weak, out of control and shame because a woman who wrote a book on faith shouldn’t feel fear.  REALLY! With Larry at my side, I allowed myself to cry, even though I didn’t know what the fear and tears were about.  I watered the fear with love, gratitude and acceptance, knowing all was well and  I was exactly where God wanted me to BE. Larry helped me recognize that my heart was EXPANDING so I could receive even more love. The more I allow myself to be loved, the more love I can give to others.

Through these experiences, God is inviting me to live in the moment and savor the love and beauty within and around me. I am learning to trust even more deeply and live in faith. I know that I am not promised tomorrow and all I have is this moment. So I celebrate and treasure today and let go of worry about what will happen tomorrow or the next moment.

Here is an excerpt from my book that I received 8 years ago while I was waiting for my soul mate.

“I love you my child and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect relationship that I have planned for you. You will never by united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of any other longings or desires. I want you to stop wishing, planning, and allow me to bring you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. I will surprise you with a love that is far more wonderful than you could ever dream of.”

My heart is grateful and full of love. God is faithful and we can trust that whatever is happening in our lives is for our good.

“You are one hot mamma expressing in the world”

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Nov
14

“Pat, I am so thankful that you are LIVING YOUR DREAM and that I get to live it with you. So many people have dreams, but you are one of the few I know who actually live them. Maui is your true essence because I have watched you bloom just like the flowers in the photos you send. Maui is a true paradise and it feels like I’ve landed in heaven. Thank you, Linda.” 

I am so excited that my friend, Linda, is my first guest to visit me from the mainland. I plan on taking her all over the island and doing fun things like going to a Hawaiian luau, visiting the Lavender Farm and snorkeling with the turtles.  We saw our first whale of the season and it was very exciting. We saw the  dolphins and were graced with a beautiful rainbow when we started our snorkeling boat ride on the Maui Magic. It is such a joy to share paradise with her. I am sure I will have many stories to share.

I have several stories this week that I would like to share with you where I saw God’s hand at work. I love how the Universe works and gives me “information” when I need it. I don’t call them coincidences; I call them “Godincidences.” For example, I had my last chiropractor appointment last Friday. After the treatment, I stopped at the desk to talk to Dr. Wilcox’s wife, Dr. Gina, who is also a chiropractor. When my friend, Sandy, drove me to my first appointment she spotted Gina’s book, “The Power to Heal Yourself” and purchased it that day. Sandy gave it to me to read when we left the office.

I commented to Dr. Gina about how much I loved her book and how I resonated with her faith walk. That opened up the conversation and we shared deeply about our love for God and doing God’s will. We plan on getting together for lunch and sharing our stories.

I was taken back when she said, “Pat, I have to tell you something. My patient, Andrea, invited me to their next book club study and they are reading your book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” I stood there with my mouth open because I had no idea this was planned. I asked, “Do you know how that happened?” Dr. Gina said, “Andrea met you at a water aerobics class a few months ago and you told her you wrote a book. They chose your book for their book study next month.” I remember meeting a woman at the class in the ocean, but hadn’t seen her since that day. 

If I hadn’t hurt my back and went to the chiropractor for treatment, I wouldn’t have met Dr. Gina and wouldn’t have known that my book was being read for their book club. I am hoping that I will be invited to join them. God is good. 

That same day, after my chiropractor appointment, I met my friend, Joni, at Ben Franklin’s Craft Store in town. Joni is getting married in March and I am doing the flowers for her wedding. We chose beautiful colorful flowers for the centerpieces for the tables. Many years ago, I had my own flower business out of my home and I love to do flower arrangements.  While we were there, we noticed floral arrangements that were already made up. I said to Joni, “I wonder who does these arrangements?”

While we were checking out at the register, I walked away for a moment. When I came back, Joni was talking to the woman and asking her if they needed anyone to do flower arrangements (but I hadn’t heard that.) I immediately said, “Are you hiring people to do flower arrangements?”  The woman said, “Yes we are, can you send me a portfolio of your work?” I no longer had a portfolio, but told her I would take some pictures of arrangements that I had made in my home. 

I had just mentioned to my friend, Kati, that I was open to the possibility of some kind of part-time work (but had no idea what.) I had been praying about it and said to God, “If I am to work, please bring something to me because I don’t want to go out and look for a job.” As I reflected back over the last 20 years regarding my jobs, I realized that all of my jobs just “came to me” almost miraculously.

The next day was Saturday – Yard Sale Day. I found all kind of flowers, vases, ribbons and baskets to play with, especially at one yard sale when the woman said, “I am moving back to the mainland and am closing my floral business.”  It couldn’t have been more perfect and what a confirmation of the direction I want to play in.

I went home and made some arrangements so I could send the woman some pictures of my work.  I don’t know if I want to work a part-time job or if I will hear from Ben Franklin’s, but I do know that I would love to do floral arrangements for special occasions and custom made arrangements. Kati and I even came up with a name for my business – “Beauty in Bloom Florals.” 

After my last blog, my friend, Trudy, sent me an email and said, “Pat, I wished you had mentioned some of the things you do “do” on Maui. You lead women’s workshops and you are writing another book. You also do life coaching. You are one hot mama expressing in this world!” Another friend, Karen, wrote “But you are doing so much.You are inspiring and your words are healing and make me smile. Such joy and freedom of spirit. Thank you both for reminding me of what I am “doing” that delights my heart and soul.

My daily prayer is to be open to receive whatever the Universe wants to give me. Here is a funny story of something I received this week. I went to my favorite consignment store, “Rainbow Attic” to browse around. I was standing in the front of the store when a man walked in carrying a frozen turkey in one of his hands. I had to comment and say something funny about the turkey. He said, “I just got it free from Foodland because I had points and am bringing it home after this. We both went about our shopping and I was at the cash register when he came up to me and said, “I have another receipt for a free turkey, would you like it?” Of course, I said, “Yes, thank you.”

“I am not only a bountiful giver; I am also a willing receiver. When I receive with gratitude, I plan an important rold in the circulation of God’s good. I am open, worthy, and receptive to the gifts showered upon me from a generous and abundant Universe.”  Daily Word Nov./Dec.