|I am slowly discovering that there is nothing wrong with me and I don’t need to be fixed because I am a “divine” and perfect expression of God in this world. This discovery comes through remembering the truth of who I am. I am love, you are love. We are all connected and are ONE. That doesn’t mean that I don’t need to change or grow because life is about change, and I am constantly evolving and growing into the person Spirit intended me to be.
Many of my friends (including myself) are experiencing a time of “clearing, cleansing, purifying and releasing” with aspects of ourselves coming to the light that no longer serve us. Everything that is hidden is being brought into the light so it can be healed and transformed.
Spiritual progress is about allowing things to come up to be released. When we ask to be healed, our unhealed/wounded places are forced to the surface. Our blocks to love are not suppressed or denied, but rather brought into our conscious awareness. Our fearful places must be revealed before they can be healed. This is not easy and can be painful and scary uncovering what has been hidden for eons.
We are all afraid, at some level that if people saw who we really are, they would recoil in horror. That is why we invent the mask, to hide our true selves. But the true self, the love within us, is that which is most beautiful. We must reveal ourselves at the deepest level in order to find how loveable we really are. When we dig deep enough into our real nature, we don’t find darkness, we will find endless light. I am coming to a place where I feel safe to be myself, trusting that my woundedness will not be judged, but loved and forgiven.
It takes courage and a willingness to grow to uncover our woundedness and unhealed places, rather than to stay in denial and unconscious for the rest of our lives. For example, when we compare ourselves to others and feel jealous or less than, it is because of our need to hold on to whatever we’ve got. It is because we think another person’s good takes away from our own. It is because we think our value will be diminished if another surpasses us.
It’s one thing to uncover the unhealed, wounded places within ourselves, but to share them with another is a real leap in faith and a desire to be free by bringing it to the light. Spirit is revealing to me how much of my life, my ego has been in control. I remember my high school years where I strived to be the best and the most popular, best dancer, best friend. Inside, I never felt good enough so I was always striving to do more and get attention.
Spirit invited me to be transparent, authentic and vulnerable with my women’s group, called the “Cardinals.” We are a group of 7 sacred women who love, play, support and pray for one another daily. It truly is a special bond of deep love and trust that we have created with one another. I feel so blessed and grateful being a part of our group.
As you can imagine, it was scary to share the unhealed part of me that was being triggered in the group. It would be easier to just keep my struggle to myself and be quiet. I had to make a decision to trust them enough and be vulnerable to share my experience. I prayed and asked Spirit for help.
Message from Spirit:
“You are all one and are not separate. What you are experiencing in group is your ego trying to make you feel separate. You are all triggered by your woundedness and when you bring it to the light, it is healed. Don’t be afraid to be honest and share your truth. You will be accepted. Your honesty will open the door for your sisters to be honest too.”
With the grace of God, I made the decision to be honest and share my struggle with my sisters at our next meeting. It was very difficult because I didn’t want to look foolish and share my shit! After I shared, instead of feeling judged, I felt their love and support. It was a powerful group because not only was I healed, but it opened the flood gates for the other women to share their pain to be released and healed.
In the book, ONE WITH GOD the author writes, “This is a reflection of the human condition. The mind of man, the ego mind, is based on specialness, being the most favored in any situation or relationship. Each man feels his value diminished when another surpasses him. The ego must achieve a position above everyone else; it must win so everyone else will lose. This is the perfect trigger for your ego to arise and demand that it be special, honored and followed. Your ego is threatened now realizing it has lost its control because you have chosen Spirit as your guide.”
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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