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How we give our power away

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I love how Spirit speaks to me through my dreams, especially recurring dreams.  Recurring dreams are important messages and if I pay attention, they will guide me and show me what I need to do or not do next in my life.

Whenever I dream about a person I know, I pay attention to their qualities because they can reveal parts of myself that I may or may not be aware of.  For example, whenever I dream about this one particular woman, I know it’s about my controlling behaviors that I need to change if I want to live in peace and be in alignment with God’s will.

This week I dreampt about my first boyfriend, Steve, that I went steady with when I was 16 years old. This is a recurring dream that I have had for many years and Steve is always leaving me for another girl. Since I have worked with the dream for years, I know that Steve represents my animus, which is the masculine part of a women’s personality.  It is the part of me that makes decisions and takes action.

As I worked with the dream, I asked myself some questions:

  • Where am I leaving myself?
  • Why am I leaving myself?
  • How am I leaving myself?

Whenever I leave myself, I give my power away and am not loving myself and taking responsibility for myself or my actions. Spirit revealed to me a couple of situations this week that I gave my power away. I felt so much better after working with the dream and was back in my God-given power.

Here is a list of ways we give our power away:

  • People pleasing behaviors
  • Afraid to set boundaries and speak my truth
  • Afraid to speak up and be honest
  • Seeking answers from others rather than going within
  • Wanting others to take care of you
  • Feeling like you are a victim
  • Beating up on yourself
  • Judging yourself
  • Not feeling good enough
  • Not saying NO when you need to
  • Blaming others and not taking responsibility for your own behaviors
  • Not trusting yourself and your feelings
  • Not being flexible
  • Not accepting “what is”
  • Pushing yourself to do things that you don’t want to do to please another
  • Not taking care of yourself in body, mind and spirit
  • Trying to control others
  • Holding resentments and not forgiving yourself or others
  • Comparing yourself to others and feeling less than or better than

It takes courage to see our self-abandonment, self-betrayal patterns and ways we give our power away. These patterns must come into the light to be transformed so we can love and honor ourselves and others as we remember that we are all one and are worthy of love and appreciation.

There is a “spiritual awakening” happening on the planet. People are waking up and experiencing things they never experienced. It may appear dark, but there is a new world and a bright light emerging inside of you and in the world.

How do you give your power away? It’s time to take back your power and live your authentic self in the light of love.




Spirit brought to light my “immature behavior” & I felt embarrassed & shame

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How do you feel when Spirit brings to the light a part of yourself  that is unkind or unloving? Perhaps it is your judgments toward others, your negative thoughts about yourself or others or a behavior that is less than perfect. You may feel embarrassed or shameful and not want anyone to know about it.

Do you believe that when this happens, it as an opportunity and invitation to heal and allow the light of God to transform you? I do believe this. Rather than feel shame (I am bad, I am not enough, sinful or wrong) which is not of God, can you choose to love yourself? I truly believe that self-love is the key to our spiritual growth and enlightenment because as we love ourselves as a magnificent child of God, we will know how to love others (warts and all).

Thank you God for yet another opportunity this week to help me grow and love myself. As a “recovering codependent” (among other things), I am aware today that I had it backwards for many years. I looked outside for love and validation. If you liked me, I felt good about myself and if you didn’t like me, I didn’t feel good about myself. I didn’t know that the love I was craving and seeking was my own love and it was inside of me all of this time.

Spirit showed me that for many years I gave my power away by thinking others knew what was best for me and that they had the answers for me. I allowed what others thought about me to be the truth and more important than the truth that was inside of me. What I have come to understand is that my truth is what is important and the truth will set me free.

During my daily morning prayer God brought to the light an immature behavior that I was not proud of and I felt deep shame within me. But, it didn’t last for very long because I chose to be honest and vulnerable and shared it with my WOW group (Women of Wisdom) that afternoon. I had the courage to share with them what I had done that I wasn’t proud of. I chose to step out in faith and not worry about what they would think of me or that I would be judged.

I know you are probably curious about what my “immature behavior” was. Well, remember when you were a little girl or little boy and you wanted to get back at someone for hurting you. You may have put your hands on your hips and did a “na, na, na, na” to them. Now, that is fine when you were a child, but not quite adult behavior. I didn’t put my hands on my hips and do it out loud, but I did it in my mind.

When I shared with my group what happened, of course, they were loving and compassionate and didn’t judge me, like I had judged myself at first. They understood because of their own experiences of shame regarding the human condition. Intimacy is as simple as in-to-me-see.  When we let people see into us, it shatters the ego’s survival strategy, which is to keep us safe by hiding parts of ourselves, pretending, protecting and defending.

I am not exactly sure how and what happened, but after I left my women s’ group, I felt free and like something had shifted inside of me. I felt more open to give and receive love, especially toward my significant other, Larry.

First, I gave myself love, forgiveness and acceptance rather than to continue to judge and shame myself. I then chose to be open and vulnerable and share my real and authentic self with my sisters. It felt like a wall came tumbling down. When you bring Higher Love to your human condition, it radiates, gushes and effortlessly overflows. You are a love-beam.

When I prayed that morning, I opened up to this in one of my spiritual books (paraphrased):

It is through accepting and even delighting in your humanness that you come to see yourself as Divine Beings having a human experience. When you reject yourself, you cannot know God. Love yourself, warts and all, and you will become the juicy embodiment of God’s love, joy, wholeness and peace. Connection with a lover cannot fulfill you, or cause you to love yourself. It can distract you for a while, but if you do not come to a lover hooked up to Self-Love and Higher Love, you will unconsciously siphon energy from another person’s tank. They will eventually feel drained and they will also be draining you.

You can learn to love and fulfill yourself and you can turn yourself on. I am practicing hitting the Source daily, drinking in the Divine and awakening to Higher Love. You can get so connected to the Divine that when you have intimacy with another, it will seem like a three-way street.”

Do you know how you give your power away? Here are a few common ways we give our power away.

When I am afraid to stand up for myself, set a boundary and say no

When I want to please others at the expense of myself

When I compare myself to others

When I focus on others and don’t know what I want or feel

When I stay stuck in fear and cannot move forward

When I don’t take care of myself and see myself as a victim

Thank you God for bringing to the light what needs to be healed and transformed in me  I want to go higher and higher with you and be the vessel of Love that you have created me to be in this world. And so it is!

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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