What men think of CHANGE
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There were several lessons or opportunities that I could have written about this week, but it would have probably been only a sentence or two, not a whole blog. Spirit is faithful and has never let me down over the last 9 years that I have been writing the blogs. I prayed and asked to be led to share what would be for the highest good for all.
This is what I received when I opened my email this morning. “Appreciation is the magic formula you’ve been seeking.” —Abraham
It is my belief that the more I appreciate myself, the more I appreciate other people in my life. I not only appreciate other people but I am learning to appreciate everything in my life. I have an “Appreciation Practice” that I practice every night before I fall off to sleep.
Instead of a nightly review of the day in my mind about where I need to change or grow or what I don’t like about myself, I think about all that I appreciate about MYSELF that day. Sometimes the list is short and other times it is quite long. Nothing is too small and it really feels good when I am done thinking of things I appreciate about myself. Often during the day, if I am tempted to say or do something that is not aligned with Spirit, I will think about the appreciation practice at night and it helps me to do the right thing.
Having a daily practice like this motivates me the next day to do the same things and more. Often during my prayer and meditation, someone will come to mind that Spirit wants me to reach out to. I send a quick text reminding them that they are loved. Larry has seen me on my phone during prayer and says, “Pat is calling God.”
To give you an example of what this look likes, I will share some of the things I appreciate about myself. Of course, this is an accumulation of things I appreciate and every day is different. These are simple things and not great things. Of course, your list will be different if you choose to do this.
- I appreciate that I did my weights this morning
- I appreciate that I ate healthy and stayed away from sugar
- I appreciate that I kept my mouth shut when I really wanted to speak my mind
- I appreciate that I was kind to the cashier at the supermarket
- I appreciate that I called my friend to say hello and send love
- I appreciate that I didn’t judge someone that I wanted to
- I appreciate that I had a “Pat Day” and played and had fun
- I appreciate that I processed my anger and was able to let it go
- I imprecate that I said no because I didn’t want to do something
- I appreciate that I prayed and meditated
- I appreciate that I set boundaries and spoke up
- I appreciate that I let go of control
- I appreciate the choices I made that brought me peace
- I appreciate how I take care of my body, mind and Spirit
- I appreciate how I am asking Spirit for guidance in everything
- I appreciate how I love my family and friends
- I appreciate my creativity
- I appreciate how I trust God to provide for all of my needs
- I appreciate how I am able to receive all that is given to me
- I appreciate that I kept my word
- I appreciate that I listened to Spirit for guidance and followed through
- I appreciate how I chose LOVE instead of FEAR
I encourage you to try this practice and let me know how it works. I guarantee you that miracles will happen. Maryann Williamson ays, “A miracle is a change in thinking.” Rather than focusing on what’s missing or lacking in your life, your focus is on what’s working and what is good. When we do this, we attract more good into our lives.
Larry
I know that some people are wondering why I changed my mind about marriage after being so against marrying again. I don’t know if I can really explain the“shift” in me that led to my wanting to marry Pat. I know that if Pat had nagged or pushed me to marry her, I would probably not have experienced the “shift” that occurred. Sometimes when the energy of love is present, things happen and we can’t explain why or how.
I began thinking again of how different males and females think and how different our perspectives are. I am a lot more conservative than Pat and she is much more flexible and creative than I am. I’m not as open to change as much as she is. I think it may be a male thing. When I’m in a good place and life is going along perfectly, I don’t want to change it. I just want to take time to enjoy it. Pat likes to make choices that would expand our awareness and that sometimes means making changes.
If I hadn’t decided to take a chance and commit to a serious relationship, we wouldn’t be where we are now, living together and engaged to be married. It was a big decision for me to move in together because I was happy living alone in my own place.
I wasn’t all that keen on taking a cruise to Australia almost two years ago and that turned out great.
If I hadn’t changed my mind and gone on the Hawaii cruise, (I really didn’t want to do at first),
I don’t know if I would have experienced the “shift” in me that started me thinking that perhaps marriage could be in our future.
When Pat suggests that we do something out of the ordinary that will stretch me my default seems to be NO THANK YOU! She has learned to plant the seed, back off and let me think about it. Sometimes after I think about the suggestion for awhile, I come around.
I’m thinking that the energy of LOVE is always calling us to a greater consciousness, encouraging us to grow by recognizing our fears and deleting them from our lives. From my experience, sometimes that can be very uncomfortable. What’s important to me is that I continue my journey and not allow fear to determine which direction to go.
“I woke up with a pit in my stomach”
Something happened this week that reminded me of how I processed conflicting feelings at the same time. It felt like a “flashback” of a very difficult time in my life with one of my children 16 years ago. This is what happened: I woke up startled in the middle of the night with banging on the front door. I quickly grabbed my robe and ran down the stairs. A parent’s worst nightmare was about to happen. A policeman was standing at the door and I can still remember the terror I felt as if it were yesterday. “Mrs. Hastings, your son was in a very bad accident and he is in Rhode Island hospital.” I blurted out, “What happened, is he okay?” “I am sorry, but we cannot give you any information. We have been trying to call you, but your phone has been busy. I found out later that it was accidentally off the hook.
I ran upstairs and woke my husband up to tell him the news. I threw on something and we were in the car racing to the hospital, following the police car. We didn’t say a word to one another and of course my mind raced to the worst scenario. When we arrived at the emergency room, the nurse escorted us into the room my son was in. I will never forget the pain in my heart to see my 16 year old son wounded and crying out in pain. A short time later, I just about fainted and couldn’t breathe. I had never had a panic attack before, but I had one that night and I was put on a stretcher outside my son’s room. My husband went back and forth between my son and me.
My son has rods in his leg and arm that are permanent from the car accident. When I saw the pictures of the car, I realized they should not be alive and I was so grateful that they were all alive. Shortly after that, I found out that they had been to a club and had smoked pot that night. I was so angry. I remember having the same feelings at the same time – gratitude and anger.
I had the “flashback” because of a similar experience of having conflicting feelings at the same time this week. I asked myself, “How am I to process this and hold the energy of these conflicting feelings?” This is what happened. A close friend of mine shared something wonderful that happened to her and I was so excited for her. A couple of hours later, another close friend shared something that was devastating to him. I was experiencing the same thing, both the gratitude and the devastation at the same time. I asked myself, “Could I be present for both of them at the same time”? With God’s grace, I was able to be present for both of my friends.
We never know what life is going to give us, do we? One minute we are high on life and everything is going smoothly. The next minute we are experiencing a great loss and may feel devastated or betrayed. All I know for sure is that whatever is happening in my life will work out for the good because of my faith and trust in God. Everything that is happening in your life is for a reason and ultimately to grow your soul.
That same day, I received an email from my friend Karen and it put things into perspective for me and reminds me to rise above “victimhood and poor me attitude” when things don’t go the way I want them to go or when a loved one is struggling and in pain. This is the email she sent:
“You have chosen to walk this journey with many other souls. Each and every one of them is in your life for a reason, an experience, or to share in your life lessons and spiritual growth. What I believe is, before we even came into this lifetime we chose each and every player in this game called life. Imagine this visual. You are sitting with a council of spiritual guides and you’re talking about your life plan including what you would like to heal, experience, and create in this lifetime. Then you meet with each soul that will support you in this plan and you decide on the roles they will play in your life experience. Together you discuss and agree upon a soul’s plan that will support all involved in their life’s intentions. Every decision and choice is made from unconditional love. This includes the players in the game that agree to play the difficult roles in order to achieve the desired intentions.”
If you can see it from a higher perspective, that it is for your spiritual growth and that you have chosen this before you even came to the earth, would it be easier to go through? We all have our lessons to learn for our soul to grow. We have chosen these lessons.
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
~Author Unknown
No relationship or experience is ever a waste of time. If it did not bring you what you want, it taught you what you don’t want. The greatest gift we can give anyone is our presence and love. When you need encouragement, remember these things. You are stronger that you realize. Life’s inevitable adversities call forth courage and the growth of our souls. You have everything you need inside of you, including wisdom. God’s plan will unfold with perfect timing and in the perfect way. Being vulnerable and allowing other players to nurture and be present for us allows our hearts to connect in a very special way for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
“Do I deserve to receive a 12- day all expense cruise?”
I would like to share with you what Spirit revealed to me in prayer yesterday. I picked an angel card and it was the angel of TRUST. This is what it said, “You are about to experience an accelerated period of spiritual growth and breakthrough in which your definitions of love will change. You are encouraged to maintain your trust and belief in yourself as a worthy and effective vehicle of positive action. Whatever your fears, insecurities, the angels are working with you to bring you into greater clarity with the nature of love. Love is the capacity to allow all other living things to grow into the fullest expression of self. The love that you are learning to give is the same that you long to receive: without judgment, acceptance of differences, kind and forgiving, hopeful and courageous. TRUST holds love in place in your life.
I believe this message is not only for me, but for you who are reading this. Love is all there is. We all want to be loved and to love. It is who we are and where we came from. God is love, we are love. We are called to love our neighbor as ourselves. Many ask, what is my purpose in life? I believe that my purpose in life is to love. First and foremost, I must love myself. Can I really love another if I don’t love myself? I don’t know all the answers, but I don’t think so. Since God and I are ONE can I love God if I don’t love myself?
Learning to love myself has been a lifelong process and will be until I leave this earth. I have shared in other blogs that there was a time that I didn’t love myself or believe in myself. I compared myself to others and beat up on myself when I didn’t measure up or I made a mistake. I have an example that happened this morning that I could see my growth. I woke up early because I had to go to the lab and get blood tests. I found the paper I needed to bring with me and put it on the kitchen table. I got dressed and off I went to the lab. I arrived at the lab and was about to get out of the car when I spotted a man walking in with a piece of paper in his hands. I said out loud, “Oh, I left the paper on the kitchen table.” I immediately started thanking God (because it is my belief that all things happen for my good) and turned my car around and drove home to get the paper. I didn’t say one disparaging remark to myself about forgetting the paper. What would you have said to yourself? Be honest!
Another thought just came to me. If I don’t love myself, can I truly allow another to love me? I don’t know. I have to ask myself, “Do I feel deserving and worthy of love?” How many times have we blocked our good and what God wants to give us because we didn’t feel worthy and deserving? I remember when my friend Ellen invited me to stay in her condo in Maui (while she was away) for a month in 2011. I was feeling “unsettled and guilty” the week before the trip and as I prayed about it, Spirit showed me on a deeper level that I was feeling unworthy and undeserving. Thankfully, I recognized this distorted belief and quickly changed it to the truth of who I am as a child of God. Today, I am living and loving in Maui. I shudder to think that I could have blocked my good and receiving this gift to live in Maui because I didn’t feel deserving and worthy (which sometimes masked itself as guilt).
I read in Alan Cohen’s book, “Enough Already.” “I do not worry about what will happen in the future or “someday.” Deep in my soul, I AM READY to be a full expression of God’s spirit right now. I give thanks for the opportunity to fulfill my heart’s desires. Aligning my thoughts with Spirit, I proclaim what is true about me and for me. Align your thoughts, feelings, words and actions with a success attitude and positive events will follow. People who have an abundance mentality keep attracting more of what they want and need. Those with a lack mentality keep attracting something missing.”
For a long time it has been my heart’s desire to travel. I was a speaker on the Norwegian Cruise Ship to Mexico In January, 2012. I had a fabulous time and since then, I have wanted to go on another cruise. Every time I see the Norwegian cruise ship in the Kahului Harbor, I say to myself or to whoever I am driving with, “I really want to go on another cruise.” I even have a picture of a cruise ship on my kitchen cabinet.
A couple of weeks ago, my friend, Larry, invited me to go with him on a 12- day cruise to Denmark, Norway, Sweden, German and Scotland – all expenses paid! We will fly into London and spend 3 days there and then go on the cruise. I have never been to Europe nor have I ever traveled with a man other than my husband or finance. I know friends of the opposite sex travel together all the time, but this is new territory for me, for sure. I asked myself some questions:
*Did I attract this gift into my life by aligning my thoughts and feelings to what Spirit wanted for me?
*Could I accept this trip as a gift from God?
*Did I feel deserving and worthy?
*Could I trust myself and my intuition that this was right for me?
*Was I willing to take a risk and travel with someone of the opposite sex (without any strings attached?)
*Was I ready to be a full expression of God’s spirit and fulfill my heart’s desires?
Of course, I felt excited about the prospect of going to Europe on a cruise. I told Larry, “I will pray about it and let you know.” I can hear some of you who are reading this-pray about it, are you nuts? Well, I did pray about it and went inside to see how it felt. I felt peaceful and excited. I have learned to trust my inner guidance and intuition as God’s voice within.
I am happy to say that the answer is YES to Larry’s invitation to go on a cruise with him. I say yes to God and to all the good that God wants to give me. I am deserving and worthy to give and receive more love in my life. I realize that I have received more than I asked for because the universe had a bigger idea for me than I had for myself. TRUST holds love in place in my life.
The Wind Star (name of ship we will be sailing on) is a sleek, four-masted sailing yacht accommodating 148 guests. With four decks and a gross tonnage of 5,350, the Wind Star feels like your own private yacht. Wind Star features wide open, teak decks—quite unusual for small ships. With over 10,000 square feet of open deck space, guests will find hidden nooks for private moments giving them a feeling of being on their own private verandah.
I just received an email from a friend and this is what she wrote: When you surrender to the wind…you can FLY!! And that is exactly what I find myself doing. Without controlling the how, why, and where…great blessings are appearing…and offering me the opportunity to SOAR!! Life has lifted me from the stagnant waters of hesitation…and placed me smack dab in the center of experiential BLISS!!
YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT; ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS WHAT YOU WANT
This is a subtle but paramountly important and exciting key to personal success. It means that there is much more to the universe than we have believed, and if we really expect to realize our dreams, we must allow God to deliver our blessings to us in ways deeper than we can plan and understand. There is an old saying that “The Lord moves in mysterious ways.” God is like the driver of a universal Greyhound bus. Once we have decided where we want to go, we can “sit back and leave the driving to Him.” If we would just choose a nice window sear and relax, we would find ourselves as our destination in no time. Instead, we make it hard for ourselves because first of all we are not sure which bus to get on; we vacillate at the ticket counter, mulling indecisively over a number of possible destinations. The agent can’t sell us a ticket if we don’t tell him where we want to go. Then once we’ve made our decision and we’ve stepped aboard the Greyhound to God, we immediately try to wrestle the wheel away from the Driver, insisting we know a better way. Then, even after we have surrendered the wheel and we arrive, we have a tendency to want to hide in the back of the bus, wondering if this is really where we want to go. And maybe we should turn back. Alan Cohen – Rising in Love pg 75
I would like to end with my favorite scripture. “For I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29-13
“Disappointments are the hooks upon which God hangs his victories.
“Disappointments are the hooks upon which God hangs his victories. There is a way to deal with disappointments that can make you a winner. Remove the D and replace it with H. Thus, disappointment becomes “HISAPPOINTMENT.” In other words, remove the incident from the projections of your expectations and imagine that God has caused the situation to turn out this way because He has a bigger and better plan than the one you formulated. Our idea of the way things should be pales in the face of God’s vision for how good it can and will be.” Dare to Be Yourself – Alan Cohen pg. 179
We’ve all had experiences of being disappointed when things don’t go the way we thought they were going to go. We need to know how to work through the disappointment and not “stay stuck” or resentful because things didn’t go the way we wanted or expected them to go. It is an opportunity to trust God that whatever is happening is for our good. I must admit that much of my disappointments have come from “I want what I want and I want it now” attitude. Can you relate?
I love HISAPPOINTMENT because whenever I’m not sure of what is the best path for me, I pray and ask God to either open or close the door. When God closes the door, I trust that there is something bigger and better for me. I have experienced closed doors at the very last minute, and it has always been for my good. This spoke to me because I was feeling very disappointed over something that happened during the week. While I was at church a few weeks ago, I spotted a very nice looking man sitting by himself in the back of the church. I wondered if he was new because I had never seen him before. As we were all walking out, I turned around and he was behind me. I introduced myself and we began talking. He just moved here from the Big Island and he said, “It is my second time here and it was suggested that I come to Unity because I am looking for this GOD THING.” That was all I needed to hear and blurted out, “Would you like to go for coffee or a walk sometime?” His face lit up and he said, “Yes, I would love to do that.” I laughed and said, “I am not usually this forward.” I gave him my business card with my phone number on it. He said he would call me.
I was really excited and later shared with my girlfriends what happened. I described the feeling that I had when we smiled at one another. I actually had a physical sensation and felt a strong connection with him. I felt the disappointment as the week went on that I hadn’t heard from him. I worked on letting go and trusting that it was a closed door. I wondered if he was threatened by my profession as a coach and author or worse yet, I thought perhaps he thought I wanted to get together so I could be his life coach. Good lesson for me to learn for the future. I will not give a man my card that I am interested in!
I looked for him this past Sunday at church, but he wasn’t there. What happened next is really amazing because I received a “God wink.” I stopped to talk to one of the women before going into church. She said, “Pat, I have to tell you what happened when I worked at the new bookstore in the mall on Monday. A man came in and asked for Pat Hastings’ book, “Simply a Woman of Faith”. I said, Oh, I know Pat Hastings, but I don’t think we have her book. I was stunned and asked her, “Was his name John?” She said, “Yes, it was.”
What are the chances of me finding out that the day after we met that he went to the bookstore to find my book? I felt grateful that I didn’t make up “this connection” in my head and that perhaps he felt the same connection. I don’t know the reason why God closed the door (that he didn’t call) and I don’t need to know. Perhaps he found the book in another bookstore and the book will help him find this “GOD THING.” I know for sure that I am to pray for him that he finds what he is searching for. I have let go and trust that if we are meant to talk in the future, we will.
There is another opportunity in my life that I am praying about and asking God to open or close the door. I only want God’s will and it is not clear to me yet what that is. All I know is that it is new territory for me, and that can be scary. But I am trusting divine love and guidance. It seems like God is inviting me to “receive” something that I have wanted for a long time and on a “silver platter.” It almost feels like it is too good to be true, but I know that everything that is good is true. Do I feel deserving and worthy to receive this gift from God? YES, I DO, and if God opens the door, I am going for it with gusto! I will share with you when the door is opened or closed.
I just learned a name for a behavior I once practiced in my life through reading Alan Cohen’s book, “Dare to be Yourself.” It is called a “Planaholic.” It states “our culture is obsessed with planning and much of it is inspired by fear. Heavy scheduling is a way to avoid intimacy. If we are constantly busy, we don’t have to face our feelings and deal with issues in relationships. If you are busy doing, doing, doing out of fear of being, you will never release that magnificent person who is calling to live and breathe and bring unique and precious gifts to the world.”
I am happy to say I am a recovering “Planaholic” and am so grateful for this wonderful shift in consciousness. It is amazing because today I prefer to live my day without plans. It feels so good to be in the flow, spontaneous and follow my intuition all through my day. I wake up and say, “thank you God for the miracles and surprises that will come my way today.” Course in Miracles states,“The healed mind does not plan.” I lived in my head for such a long time and didn’t trust my intuition. Today, I trust my heart and intuition because I believe God speaks to us through our intuition. If I listened to my head and not my heart, I would not be on this sacred journey to Maui. When I meet people and they ask me, “What brought you to Maui, I say, MY HEART.”
Since I no longer “do, do, do” and am learning to BE and feel, I am discovering more of myself and living the life of my dreams. It is truly the greatest adventure of my life since I followed my heart and moved to Maui. I am discovering the real me and finding the beauty and magnificence within. God is calling us all to walk this sacred journey of finding the love within. A Course in Miracles states “We are here to discover the blocks to our awareness of love’s presence, so we can release this and let our true loving nature shine forth in full splendor.”
Frustration, tension, anxiety, fear are the results you get when you are pushing too hard
I had a wonderful week “showing up for life” playing and being in God’s presence and grace. I danced, swam in the ocean, painted, prayed, meditated, did yoga, walked on the beach, had ice cream, kayaked, went out to lunch with friends, watched the whales jumping out of the water, went to a luau and a ukulele concert with world renowned Jake Shimabukuro. I enjoyed fresh herbs , oranges, limes, tomatoes, strawberries and asparagus from the garden where I am now living. WOW, I am so blessed and grateful for the grace to say “YES” knowing that I deserve to receive all that is mine by divine right. I know that the more grateful I am, I more I will attract things into my life to be grateful for. I can truly say that I don’t know anyone who is more grateful than I am. I asked myself, “Could having a grateful attitude be the reason I am living in Maui?” We all have the choice to live in gratitude, no matter where we live or what is happening in our lives.
I attended the Unity service on Sunday with guest speaker and past minister, Mary Omwake. Her message was “Happiness, “It’s a Practice.” She shared her 21 days to a happier life” 7 steps you can take to ensure increased wellbeing. Here they are:
- Smile with your heart several times a day.
- Laugh out loud, at least twice a day – for one minute or more.
- Be consciously grateful at least 3 times a day, really grateful – feel it, share it, write about it.
- Do something for someone else, anonymously if possible, or just because you can).
- Notice something you did right, review the steps in your mind at least once a day for 2 minutes.
- Every day do something you love for 15 minutes (that is physical.)
- Connect with at least one person who had blessed or enriched your life every day, by phone, email or letter.
These 7 steps are not “new” concepts and I know you are practicing some of them in your daily life, as I am. I have decided to incorporate the “laughing out loud” and connecting with one person through email, letter or call who has blessed my life every day. I have read that it takes 21 days for something to become a habit so every time I get in my car and start it up; I begin laughing out loud for at least one minute. It really feels good. Try it, you might like it (and let me know how you feel). In my morning prayer, I ask Spirit to guide me to whom I am to connect with and thank them for blessing me. You might be the next person that I am thanking.
A few weeks ago, I shared a story in my blog about my friends, Jodene and Trudy, and their experience of asking and receiving and instant manifestation. Here is what happened: After the Unity service a few weeks ago while walking out together, Jodene said, “I really want that picture hanging on the wall” and Trudy responded, “I have a signed copy of it at home and I would be happy to give it to you.”
During the service this past Sunday, I spotted Lee Shapiro in the back of the room, the artist who painted the picture and couldn’t wait to tell him the story of Jodene and Trudy’s manifestation. Of course, Jodene and Trudy were very excited to meet him also. He lives in Maui and invited us to come to his home and see his studio. We didn’t waste any time and took him up on his offer. The next day, 4 of my girlfriends and I piled in the car and visited Lee at his home. What a treat to be in his home and see his beautiful paintings. We found out that Lee Shapiro is a nationally renowned watercolorist who has exhibited in over 40 galleries across the U.S. Not only is Lee a famous watercolorist, but he has a passion for life that is very inspiring.
He showed us his new book, “Living in Passion” and we each bought a book to remember the day. He has beautiful paintings and a poem that he wrote that resonated in my heart and soul. Here it is:
Living in Passion by Lee Shapiro
“I want to live my life full out, without fear or protection totally present in the moment. I want to love with infinite passion holding back nothing, unafraid of intimacy, unafraid of truth. Let love wash over me and through me as the mighty seas crash over the rocks on the shore, sending exuberant sprays of foamy waters skyward in ecstatic celebration. Do you want to dance with me, to throw caution to the wind? To lose our false sense of self and in doing, find our true selves. Let the wings of a glorious eagle carry us to heights unimagined. We might fall, but what an exhilarating ride we would have. Even the free-fall would be moments of rapture as we feel the wind rushing through our souls. Death is not the worst thing, NOT LIVING IS! When death comes, I will go unafraid, joyous in knowing that I played full out, that I did not hold back – that I felt love, sadness, fear, joy – all of it! That my life was a full-bodied symphony of feelings and experiences, played with fervor and fire, gentleness and softness. The notes will resonate in the heart of spirit, in this moment and for all time.”
These words touch my heart so deeply and it is how I am choosing to live my life. I want to love with infinite passion holding back nothing, unafraid of intimacy, unafraid of truth. I want to dance and throw caution to the wind. I want to lose my false self so I can find my true self. I want to live a life full-bodied symphony of feelings and experiences, played with fervor and fire, gentleness and softness.
Have I always lived passionately and in the moment? Absolutely not! I often pushed to make things happen. I was filled with fear and didn’t believe in myself. I looked outside for my answers. It is so important for us to see how we have grown and celebrate who we are and how far we have come. Spirit showed me how I have grown when I read the message on March 11 in “Until Today” by Iyanla Vanzant. It talked about being “obsessive doers” working so hard and always having to have something to do. This is how I lived my life for many years. Here is what it said:
“One reason we work so hard is that we are afraid. Few people will admit it, but most of us live in fear that we are not going to achieve our goals, receive the results we expect or fulfill our heartfelt desires. It is this fear that causes us to engage in a power struggle with God. If we really believe that you have to do it all, what do you think God is doing or can do for you? Strain, struggle, frustration, tension, anxiety, compulsion, obsession and fear are the results you get when you are pushing too hard. God, the creative force of the universe, the power over all life, doesn’t have to push to get you to what you want. As a matter of fact, if you would just ease up a bit, you might be surprised by what God will do on your behalf. Relax, sit back and give God a chance to do something for you.”
What a blessing for me to see my growth and how much better my life is now that I am not pushing and trying to make things happen. Today, I ALLOW things to happen, rather than trying to control everything, as I did for so many years because I didn’t know any better and needed healing from childhood abuse. I trust God and my intuition to guide me on a daily basis. It never fails me and I am living my life from the inside out and living in joy. Where have you grown and what do you need to celebrate about yourself today?
I encourage you to “ease up” a bit because you might be surprised by what God will do on your behalf. Relax, sit back and give God a chance to do something for you.
RELAX – God is in control
As I was pulling out of the restaurant parking lot last Sunday, I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw a sign on the back bumper of the car parked next to me. It read, Relax – God is in control. I beeped for my friend Glenn to get out of his car so he could also see the sign. I said, Holy S…… He said, “Are you kidding me? It is the exact words we just talked about as we walked out of the restaurant.” He was speechless other than a softly uttered “thank you” because we knew this was GOD speaking to us both. He took a picture of the car and put it as a screen saver on his phone to help him remember the message! He said, “This is a message I can’t afford to ignore, a message clearly given out of Love and felt in my Soul.” We left the restaurant in awe of the power of God and the love we both felt. It truly was a “Divine Connection.”
I almost missed this “Divine Connection” of God speaking to us through the bumper sticker because I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity. Let me explain. I met Glenn at the church we both attended, and after the service he asked me, “Would you like to go to lunch?” I hesitated at first because I didn’t want to spend the money. I had been out to lunch with friends several times that week and I didn’t feel comfortable spending any more money. I said, “Thank you for the invitation, but I will have to pass for today.”
After he left the church, I quickly realized I was coming from lack and scarcity because I did have the money. I ran out after him and called his name. “Glenn, I changed my mind and I would be happy to go to lunch with you.” I was honest and said, “I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity and I no longer choose to live in a state of lack.” He told me a few days later what he heard after he left the church to go to his car.. “Glenn, walk slow, she might change her mind” and then “listen, in case she calls your name” right before I called his name. I am so grateful that we were both listening to our “inner voice” and God (which I believe are the same.)
While driving to the restaurant, I heard God say, “I want you to pay for his lunch too.” When I hear God, I listen. When the bill came, I grabbed for it and told him, “I am buying.” He looked uncomfortable and said, “This is killing me.” I asked why and he said, “I have to learn to receive and not always be giving.” He was learning to receive and I was practicing not to live in lack and scarcity.
We sat in the restaurant for two hours and the conversation about life and spirituality just flowed. We talked about the importance of not “reacting” and making decisions out of fear and lack . His parting words to me were, “I think I need to put the brakes on in my life.” I then told him about my sign RELAX that I purchased several years ago when I was rushing and trying to make things happen and it wasn’t working. I desperately needed to learn to RELAX. He described himself as an ACTION person and that he had tried everything in his life to be happy. He admitted that he was hitting walls and didn’t know what to do next. I shared how I have learned to trust and accept that I am right where I need to be and that “Not Knowing what was next” was okay.
Glenn sent me an email after our “Divine Connection” and said, “Pat, before I attended church that morning, I asked myself, What are you going to do about your life? A numb feeling of distress filled me as I held back the true fear that was rushing through me. I was struggling and in need of help, help to learn how to care for myself as I did for others. I was trapped in my own mind-set surrounded by my personal weaknesses and feeling overwhelmed.”
He shared with me, “As I soaked in every word you said at lunch, I finally felt the connection to my Creator push forward from where I had buried it. My hope began to come back, my sense of calm re-appeared and the confidence in my spiritual path and a better tomorrow over-took me. Thank You God for the message I needed. Thank you Pat for pointing it out. Thank you for the lunch that led me back to the path that I cherish and has brought me so much peace and happiness since its inception that I have to pinch myself to know it’s not a wonderful dream.”
I am grateful that I listened to my intuition and acted “quickly” and that I was able to be honest with Glenn. I am grateful that Glenn was open and asked for what he needed. I am grateful to God for His love, for speaking to us both so powerfully and allowing me to serve him that day.
I thought about the bumper sticker all week and how it applied to my life. My house was on the market for one week and I was feeling some impatience (can you imagine that) that no one had looked at my house yet. When I went to bed that night, I prayed for a dream and asked God if I should lower the price of my house. All I remembered about the dream in the morning was that I was rushing. It felt like God was reassuring me not to rush that everything was under control.
As I took my walk the next day, God impressed on my heart exactly what I needed to do: rather than worrying, being fearful, living in the “what ifs” and the HOW and WHEN my house will sell, I needed to up the ante with my affirmation of gratitude “Thank you God for the right and perfect person to buy my house for the right price and right timing.” So it became my mantra whenever I thought about the house and it brought me peace and serenity.
On another note, I opened my email a few days ago and there was an email from my son Tim. He commented on my last blog and said, “When I looked at the picture that read KEEP ON PATH, what I saw was KEEP ON PAT H – KEEP ON! I loved it. So I will leave you with KEEP ON, KEEP ON!
“YOU Got it going On”
After living in Maui since January, I can hardly believe that I will be returning to Rhode Island in 2 weeks (and selling everything so I can move back here to live full time.) I am so excited to see my family and friends that I am counting the days until I get back there. It has been an amazing journey of transformation, love, surrendering, letting go and healing. I have learned so much about myself, my beliefs and what needed to change inside of me in order to be the woman God created me to be and for me to receive more good in my life.
As I walked home from my walk today, the two words that popped out for me were “No push, no rush.” Hmm…..that’s interesting, I thought. That was my way of being. I was always pushing myself to do and be more and rushing through life like I would miss something if I didn’t rush. In fact, I called myself a “Rushaholic” and it exhausted me. I realize now that these behaviors came from the belief that “I am not good enough and not worthy and deserving of good things.” Over the years, I have worked hard at changing these beliefs that no longer serve me through prayer, meditation, journaling, visualizations and affirmations. Every once in awhile, I catch myself rushing or racing, but much much less than it has ever been. Today, I truly enjoy going with the flow and following my intuition.
God’s timing is perfect and I have been reflecting on how perfectly everything has been orchestrated on my behalf with my housing both here in Maui and in Rhode Island. I am leaving this beautiful condo on the ocean that I am renting with Pat and Bob on June 26 to return to Rhode Island. Pat and Bob will be moving into the new condo they bought on June 30 and then my tenant, Carrie Ann in Rhode Island, is moving out of my condo and settling in her new condo on June 29! I could not have planned that any better. It is truly amazing what happens, when I let go and let God handle how things work out. I can’t wait to see what will happen when I return to Rhode Island to sell my house. I am already thanking God for the right and perfect person to buy my house and for the right and perfect price.
I plan to buy my return ticket back to Maui for September 5, 2012. My friend, Ellen, is going away for the month of September and has invited me to stay in her condo while I look for a place to rent. I am very excited to see how it will unfold and the beautiful place that is already mine in the mind of God. When I think about leaving this condo on the ocean, each morning when I look out, I say “This is something better, God.”
I would like to share another way I heard God speak to me this week. I encountered the woman who was staying in the condo right next to mine, and she turned and smiled as she walked back into her condo and said, “We just got here 4 hours ago. I can see you have been here awhile, YOU GOT IT GOING ON! ” I smiled and thought, wow, I do got it going on girl, but I didn’t know it was so obvious. I walked around all day with giddy excitement, saying to myself, “YES, I GOT IT GOING ON!” And guess what, YOU have it going on too! Just saying this out loud has really shifted my energy and I am now saying it to others and love to see their face light up and smile.
Can you picture that? Try saying it aloud and see how it feels. Other than feeling sassy and confident, I decided to answer the question “what does this mean to me?” It means that God, my essence and my God-self is shining out and radiating love to the world as I remember who I am and that I am ONE with God. My prayer was “Thank you God, I feel so blessed, loved and excited about the adventure of the future and all that you have planned for me. I say YES to your divine plan.”
Another thing I have learned about the Divine Plan is that it requires having faith that the right doors will open for me when necessary, and the right doors will close for me as well. This week I had an example of God closing the door in my face, and how it all worked out for the best. Ellen approached me with the news that her 94-year-old friend, Ester, was selling one of her cars. Her daughter had bought her a new car and had given Ester her 1999 Ford Escort. Ester was selling it for a great price and even though it was an old “Maui Cruiser,” it seemed to be in decent condition. I called the insurance company and the DMV and got all the information I needed. Believe me, this was not my plan to buy a car before I moved back here, but it seemed like the right thing to do since it came to me and I felt peaceful. My prayer was, “God, close the door if this is not your divine plan.” I was excited to think I would have a car all set when I moved back to Maui and it seemed like a confirmation that “I really am moving back here.” To my surprise, a few days later, Ester called and said, “I am really sorry but my daughter decided not to sell her car, after all.” I got off the phone a little stunned and disappointed, but very quickly said, “Thank you God for closing the door.”
Then my next thought was that “I will get a car for free.” I really liked that idea and it will be interesting to see how that manifests. I asked myself, “Did I only feel deserving of an old Maui Cruiser?” Perhaps God wants more for me and now I see myself driving a shiny convertible red car!
As I sat on the beach looking into the ocean and feeling very peaceful, I overheard a few words in a conversation behind me. All I heard was “RELAX, it will come to you.” I believe those words were meant for me. I have used this affirmation for years and it seems to apply here, “Everything I need is streaming toward me, I open my hands and receive.” I believe my soul mate will come to me, the car will come to me, the right place to live when I move back to Maui will come to me, and the right person to buy my house in Rhode Island will come to me. My job is to “show up” do my part and leave the HOW up to God. It works every time.
Daily Word Magazine
I am part of and immersed in the order of life. My breathing is orderly and rhythmic, as is my heartbeat; neither requires my control or direction. I relax into the flow of divine order and allow God to express in and through me, guiding my unfolding. As each new day begins, divine order manifests in all I think and do. Divine order is established in my life, and I am grateful.
Like the eagle, I am meant to soar. I am meant to let go of fear and limitations, to apply the strength and abilities God has given me. I place my faith in God and my spirit soars.
Take Time to Smell the Roses
I am a recovering “Rushaholic.” I didn’t take time to smell the roses because I was just too busy with life and “DOING.” I didn’t know what it meant to BE and relax. I have a chapter in by book about rushing. “Rushing was my addiction. If I rushed and stayed busy, I didn’t have time to feel my feelings and go within. It gave me energy when I rushed. I felt powerful and in control when I multi-tasked. When I rush all the time, I disconnect from myself and the divine energy of God within. When I rush, I’m not respecting myself or the God within.” When I rush, I lose my peace and feeling the presence of God.
As I took my daily walk around Providence College today, I stopped to watch the men remove a 35 foot locus tree off the truck with a huge forklift. The foreman walked over to me and, of course, I had all kinds of questions to ask him. The tree had just been delivered from New York and it took 3 hours to drive it to Providence College. It cost $10,000. Why would I write a story about watching a tree being removed from a truck?
Because I realized how stopping and smelling the roses (and watching a tree being taken off a truck) and being in the present moment was crucial to my spiritual well being. The peace that I experienced was a peace that passes all understanding. If you want peace in your life, I encourage you to slow down and practice being in the present moment. I know you may be saying, “But I work and have a family and there is just so much to do.” Yes, that is true, but take 10 minutes each day for yourself and do whatever you want and do it purposefully. You are responsible for the pace and peace you bring to each moment.
When I am living in the present moment, I listen to my intuition and follow it, even if it doesn’t make sense. For example, I decided to take the day off and go to the beach this week. I had planned on going to Horseneck Beach in MA. As I was driving on the highway, I changed my mind and took the turn to Narragansett Beach, which is the opposite direction. No big deal, I thought. As I was driving to the beach, I decided to get off one of the exits and go to a consignment store that I hadn’t been to in years. I wanted to find a dress to wear for my speaking engagements in Hawaii. I wanted it to be “Hawaiian looking”, and of course, I wanted a bargain. I found a dress that I loved, the perfect turquoise color and it was on sale for ½ the price.
Stop every once in awhile and smell the roses. Look around and see God’s miracles. Listen to your intuition. You have one life to live so live it to the fullest because you never know if you will be blessed with a tomorrow.
TRUST YOUR FEELINGS
Do you ever feel crazy with people telling you what you should do in your life, whether it be how to find your soul mate, how to make 6 figures in your business or how to lose weight? Just recently I listened to a Calling in the one soulmate seminar on the internet. One speaker said throw away your list of what you want in a mate and the next speaker said be very clear about what you want. One speaker said do the inner work and allow him to come to you, another said hire a dating coach and join Match.com. It certainly made me crazy and I felt overwhelmed at first. Thankfully, I had done my inner work and knew what I needed to do for me.
I have come to the conclusion, neither answer is right nor wrong. It’s what’s right for me. Instead of looking outside for someone to tell me what’s right or what to do with my life (and I did that most of my life) I have learned to go within and see what feels right for me. I ask myself the question – does it make me feel peaceful or stressful? How do we discern what is right for ourselves? Our feelings are not right or wrong and they are clues to what we need to do next. Our feelings are our gifts from God and come to give us messages.
You are invited to trust yourself and your intuition. I believe that your answers are within. If you have been looking outside for your answers, it takes practice and a conscious decision to go within. I teach people the importance to spend time with themselves in quiet meditation and prayer. By going within you get in touch with what you want and desire- and what you don’t want.
There are so many outside distractions and information coming in that it is easy to feel overwhelmed. I am learning the importance of setting boundaries for myself so that I live in peace. I am learning to say no when it doesn’t feel right. It is my responsibility to keep myself in peace and to continually check in when I’m feeling overwhelmed, especially when I need to make a decision. If I am feeling pressured to make a decision or if I am asked to make a decision that I am not ready to make, I am learning to give myself the time I need to gain clarity and discern what is best for me. I may even give myself the time not to decide, until it feels right. In this space of quiet, I can go within and ask God for direction and guidance. When it feels right and there is peace in my heart, I trust myself and move forward.
MIRACLES HAPPEN WHEN YOU LISTEN………
MIRACLES HAPPEN WHEN YOU LISTEN TO THE SMALL STILL VOICE WITHIN
About 30 years ago, my daughter and I were living in a “coffee shack” in Kona on the Big Island of Hawaii. We were there because I was in love with an adventurous and un- bridled man who followed only his inner voice. This was earth moving for the two of us, coming from a small New England, predominately Catholic Italian culture where you just didn’t do anything like that. Thankfully I was young enough not to be fearful.
Mr. Adventurous was a part of a crew of men who went into the French Frigate Shoals to fish on a huge refrigerator boat. The freezer boat was docked in O’ahu and Mr. Adventurer would fly from Kona each week to catch the boat. He’d already made a number of trips, leaving my daughter and I alone in this “strange new land” to explore and survive.
A few days prior to his next trip, I expressed to him that I felt uncomfortable about his going. He wanted sound reasoning and I couldn’t provide any more than,” I don’t know, it’s just a feeling, but something’s going to happen out there, please don’t go.” We went back and forth on this until the day arrived when he was scheduled to leave.
He was still undecided when he called his captain. He felt silly saying, “I’m not going because Jackie has a feeling something is going to happen out there.” I don’t remember what he told the captain, but thankfully, he listened to me and didn’t go.
We found out a few weeks later, when the boat didn’t return to O’ahu what happened. The crew member who had the night watch fell asleep and wasn’t monitoring the depth finder. The bow struck an underwater shoal, a reef that’s actually the top of an underwater mountain peak, severing the boat like a hot knife through butter.
The crew literally had five minutes to pull on their survival suits, grab the radio and abandon ship. They floated in shark infested waters with no food or water for over a week before another ship heard their distress call. Thankfully, all were saved.
Prior to this time in my life I had always listened to my “instincts” and my gut feelings. But I had never had a premonition before and this was life altering for me as well as Mr. Adventurer.
Jackie Van Dusen
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