I wrote in my journal this morning while in prayer, “It feels like my faith went out the window.” I asked myself, “What happened that I am feeling like this?” And, more importantly, “What do I need to do or feel to come back into my truth and get my balance and peace back?”
I realized that if this happened to me (seemingly out of the blue) who wrote a book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” it may happen to you at some time or another. I knew I had to share it in my blog to let you know that you are not alone and how I moved through it.
I prayed and asked the Holy Spirit to show me the truth. I allowed myself to write down whatever was on my mind that was bothering me and was surprised what came up. I have read that “What I think about, I bring about.” I knew I needed to change my thinking and fast.
I began writing everything that I was grateful for and there was a lot to be grateful for. I wrote some favorite affirmations down that I would like to share with you.
I’m exactly where I need and want to be.
My life is unfolding according to a Divine plan.
Doors are opening at the right and perfect time NOW.
All the love, money, friends, soul mate, abundance is flowing into my life at the perfect and right time.
All is well and I am safe.
Only good comes to me NOW.
Fear is useless, what is needed is trust.
I am the creator of my life.
I attract only peace and good into my life.
What and who I am seeking is seeking me.
I stand tall in my own Power.
I trust in the Divine plan for my life.
Everything is unfolding in peace, ease and grace.
I follow my heart in each moment of my life.
I am the beloved daughter of the Father.
God is my source.
This helped a great deal and I felt better when I finished my prayer and meditation. The truth shall set me free. I didn’t need to figure it all out and why it felt like my “faith went out the window.” I just needed to BE with me and love me just as I am. I am reminded that l am filled with infinite potential and “nothing is impossible” with faith. I unleash this potential when I believe in myself and trust in the divine within.
My daughter, Mary, called in the middle of writing my blog and I shared with her what had happened the night before and how I was feeling. I love how I get what I need when I need it. My daughter is a wise woman and she hit the nail on the head for me. She said, “Mom, you are sensitive, just like me, and I am very careful to not allow others’ energies to get me off my center. She talked about the “energy vampires” in her own life and what she does to protect herself. What she said resonated with me and I knew she was right and what I needed to do to protect my energy. When we finished talking, I laughed and said, “How much do I owe you?” I spent the rest of the day loving me and letting go.
When I went to bed that night, I couldn’t stop thanking God for the beautiful day I had. My faith was back (not that it had really gone away) and stronger than ever. Isn’t it amazing how quickly we can shift ourselves when we want to and have the tools to allow it to happen. My friends, Kati and Marise, came over for dinner and we laughed, played, sang, danced and encouraged one another to live our best lives. I am so blessed and my heart sings. How could it get any more magnificent than this?
Here is a poem about letting go that I came across recently that I just love.
SHE LET GO – Rev. Safire Rose
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of fear.
She let go of the judgments.
She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.
She let go of the committee of indecision within her.
She let go of all of the “right” reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go.
She let go of all the memories that held her back.
She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.
She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it.
She didn’t write the projected date in her day-timer.
She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.
She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.
She didn’t analyze she should let go.
She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.
She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.
She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations.
No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing.
Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle.
It wasn’t good or it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be.
A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.
“Disappointments are the hooks upon which God hangs his victories. There is a way to deal with disappointments that can make you a winner. Remove the D and replace it with H. Thus, disappointment becomes “HISAPPOINTMENT.” In other words, remove the incident from the projections of your expectations and imagine that God has caused the situation to turn out this way because He has a bigger and better plan than the one you formulated. Our idea of the way things should be pales in the face of God’s vision for how good it can and will be.” Dare to Be Yourself – Alan Cohen pg. 179
We’ve all had experiences of being disappointed when things don’t go the way we thought they were going to go. We need to know how to work through the disappointment and not “stay stuck” or resentful because things didn’t go the way we wanted or expected them to go. It is an opportunity to trust God that whatever is happening is for our good. I must admit that much of my disappointments have come from “I want what I want and I want it now” attitude. Can you relate?
I love HISAPPOINTMENT because whenever I’m not sure of what is the best path for me, I pray and ask God to either open or close the door. When God closes the door, I trust that there is something bigger and better for me. I have experienced closed doors at the very last minute, and it has always been for my good. This spoke to me because I was feeling very disappointed over something that happened during the week. While I was at church a few weeks ago, I spotted a very nice looking man sitting by himself in the back of the church. I wondered if he was new because I had never seen him before. As we were all walking out, I turned around and he was behind me. I introduced myself and we began talking. He just moved here from the Big Island and he said, “It is my second time here and it was suggested that I come to Unity because I am looking for this GOD THING.” That was all I needed to hear and blurted out, “Would you like to go for coffee or a walk sometime?” His face lit up and he said, “Yes, I would love to do that.” I laughed and said, “I am not usually this forward.” I gave him my business card with my phone number on it. He said he would call me.
I was really excited and later shared with my girlfriends what happened. I described the feeling that I had when we smiled at one another. I actually had a physical sensation and felt a strong connection with him. I felt the disappointment as the week went on that I hadn’t heard from him. I worked on letting go and trusting that it was a closed door. I wondered if he was threatened by my profession as a coach and author or worse yet, I thought perhaps he thought I wanted to get together so I could be his life coach. Good lesson for me to learn for the future. I will not give a man my card that I am interested in!
I looked for him this past Sunday at church, but he wasn’t there. What happened next is really amazing because I received a “God wink.” I stopped to talk to one of the women before going into church. She said, “Pat, I have to tell you what happened when I worked at the new bookstore in the mall on Monday. A man came in and asked for Pat Hastings’ book, “Simply a Woman of Faith”. I said, Oh, I know Pat Hastings, but I don’t think we have her book. I was stunned and asked her, “Was his name John?” She said, “Yes, it was.”
What are the chances of me finding out that the day after we met that he went to the bookstore to find my book? I felt grateful that I didn’t make up “this connection” in my head and that perhaps he felt the same connection. I don’t know the reason why God closed the door (that he didn’t call) and I don’t need to know. Perhaps he found the book in another bookstore and the book will help him find this “GOD THING.” I know for sure that I am to pray for him that he finds what he is searching for. I have let go and trust that if we are meant to talk in the future, we will.
There is another opportunity in my life that I am praying about and asking God to open or close the door. I only want God’s will and it is not clear to me yet what that is. All I know is that it is new territory for me, and that can be scary. But I am trusting divine love and guidance. It seems like God is inviting me to “receive” something that I have wanted for a long time and on a “silver platter.” It almost feels like it is too good to be true, but I know that everything that is good is true. Do I feel deserving and worthy to receive this gift from God? YES, I DO, and if God opens the door, I am going for it with gusto! I will share with you when the door is opened or closed.
I just learned a name for a behavior I once practiced in my life through reading Alan Cohen’s book, “Dare to be Yourself.” It is called a “Planaholic.” It states “our culture is obsessed with planning and much of it is inspired by fear. Heavy scheduling is a way to avoid intimacy. If we are constantly busy, we don’t have to face our feelings and deal with issues in relationships. If you are busy doing, doing, doing out of fear of being, you will never release that magnificent person who is calling to live and breathe and bring unique and precious gifts to the world.”
I am happy to say I am a recovering “Planaholic” and am so grateful for this wonderful shift in consciousness. It is amazing because today I prefer to live my day without plans. It feels so good to be in the flow, spontaneous and follow my intuition all through my day. I wake up and say, “thank you God for the miracles and surprises that will come my way today.” Course in Miracles states,“The healed mind does not plan.” I lived in my head for such a long time and didn’t trust my intuition. Today, I trust my heart and intuition because I believe God speaks to us through our intuition. If I listened to my head and not my heart, I would not be on this sacred journey to Maui. When I meet people and they ask me, “What brought you to Maui, I say, MY HEART.”
Since I no longer “do, do, do” and am learning to BE and feel, I am discovering more of myself and living the life of my dreams. It is truly the greatest adventure of my life since I followed my heart and moved to Maui. I am discovering the real me and finding the beauty and magnificence within. God is calling us all to walk this sacred journey of finding the love within. A Course in Miracles states “We are here to discover the blocks to our awareness of love’s presence, so we can release this and let our true loving nature shine forth in full splendor.”
I had a wonderful week “showing up for life” playing and being in God’s presence and grace. I danced, swam in the ocean, painted, prayed, meditated, did yoga, walked on the beach, had ice cream, kayaked, went out to lunch with friends, watched the whales jumping out of the water, went to a luau and a ukulele concert with world renowned Jake Shimabukuro. I enjoyed fresh herbs , oranges, limes, tomatoes, strawberries and asparagus from the garden where I am now living. WOW, I am so blessed and grateful for the grace to say “YES” knowing that I deserve to receive all that is mine by divine right. I know that the more grateful I am, I more I will attract things into my life to be grateful for. I can truly say that I don’t know anyone who is more grateful than I am. I asked myself, “Could having a grateful attitude be the reason I am living in Maui?” We all have the choice to live in gratitude, no matter where we live or what is happening in our lives.
I attended the Unity service on Sunday with guest speaker and past minister, Mary Omwake. Her message was “Happiness, “It’s a Practice.” She shared her 21 days to a happier life” 7 steps you can take to ensure increased wellbeing. Here they are:
- Smile with your heart several times a day.
- Laugh out loud, at least twice a day – for one minute or more.
- Be consciously grateful at least 3 times a day, really grateful – feel it, share it, write about it.
- Do something for someone else, anonymously if possible, or just because you can).
- Notice something you did right, review the steps in your mind at least once a day for 2 minutes.
- Every day do something you love for 15 minutes (that is physical.)
- Connect with at least one person who had blessed or enriched your life every day, by phone, email or letter.
These 7 steps are not “new” concepts and I know you are practicing some of them in your daily life, as I am. I have decided to incorporate the “laughing out loud” and connecting with one person through email, letter or call who has blessed my life every day. I have read that it takes 21 days for something to become a habit so every time I get in my car and start it up; I begin laughing out loud for at least one minute. It really feels good. Try it, you might like it (and let me know how you feel). In my morning prayer, I ask Spirit to guide me to whom I am to connect with and thank them for blessing me. You might be the next person that I am thanking.
A few weeks ago, I shared a story in my blog about my friends, Jodene and Trudy, and their experience of asking and receiving and instant manifestation. Here is what happened: After the Unity service a few weeks ago while walking out together, Jodene said, “I really want that picture hanging on the wall” and Trudy responded, “I have a signed copy of it at home and I would be happy to give it to you.”
During the service this past Sunday, I spotted Lee Shapiro in the back of the room, the artist who painted the picture and couldn’t wait to tell him the story of Jodene and Trudy’s manifestation. Of course, Jodene and Trudy were very excited to meet him also. He lives in Maui and invited us to come to his home and see his studio. We didn’t waste any time and took him up on his offer. The next day, 4 of my girlfriends and I piled in the car and visited Lee at his home. What a treat to be in his home and see his beautiful paintings. We found out that Lee Shapiro is a nationally renowned watercolorist who has exhibited in over 40 galleries across the U.S. Not only is Lee a famous watercolorist, but he has a passion for life that is very inspiring.
He showed us his new book, “Living in Passion” and we each bought a book to remember the day. He has beautiful paintings and a poem that he wrote that resonated in my heart and soul. Here it is:
Living in Passion by Lee Shapiro
“I want to live my life full out, without fear or protection totally present in the moment. I want to love with infinite passion holding back nothing, unafraid of intimacy, unafraid of truth. Let love wash over me and through me as the mighty seas crash over the rocks on the shore, sending exuberant sprays of foamy waters skyward in ecstatic celebration. Do you want to dance with me, to throw caution to the wind? To lose our false sense of self and in doing, find our true selves. Let the wings of a glorious eagle carry us to heights unimagined. We might fall, but what an exhilarating ride we would have. Even the free-fall would be moments of rapture as we feel the wind rushing through our souls. Death is not the worst thing, NOT LIVING IS! When death comes, I will go unafraid, joyous in knowing that I played full out, that I did not hold back – that I felt love, sadness, fear, joy – all of it! That my life was a full-bodied symphony of feelings and experiences, played with fervor and fire, gentleness and softness. The notes will resonate in the heart of spirit, in this moment and for all time.”
These words touch my heart so deeply and it is how I am choosing to live my life. I want to love with infinite passion holding back nothing, unafraid of intimacy, unafraid of truth. I want to dance and throw caution to the wind. I want to lose my false self so I can find my true self. I want to live a life full-bodied symphony of feelings and experiences, played with fervor and fire, gentleness and softness.
Have I always lived passionately and in the moment? Absolutely not! I often pushed to make things happen. I was filled with fear and didn’t believe in myself. I looked outside for my answers. It is so important for us to see how we have grown and celebrate who we are and how far we have come. Spirit showed me how I have grown when I read the message on March 11 in “Until Today” by Iyanla Vanzant. It talked about being “obsessive doers” working so hard and always having to have something to do. This is how I lived my life for many years. Here is what it said:
“One reason we work so hard is that we are afraid. Few people will admit it, but most of us live in fear that we are not going to achieve our goals, receive the results we expect or fulfill our heartfelt desires. It is this fear that causes us to engage in a power struggle with God. If we really believe that you have to do it all, what do you think God is doing or can do for you? Strain, struggle, frustration, tension, anxiety, compulsion, obsession and fear are the results you get when you are pushing too hard. God, the creative force of the universe, the power over all life, doesn’t have to push to get you to what you want. As a matter of fact, if you would just ease up a bit, you might be surprised by what God will do on your behalf. Relax, sit back and give God a chance to do something for you.”
What a blessing for me to see my growth and how much better my life is now that I am not pushing and trying to make things happen. Today, I ALLOW things to happen, rather than trying to control everything, as I did for so many years because I didn’t know any better and needed healing from childhood abuse. I trust God and my intuition to guide me on a daily basis. It never fails me and I am living my life from the inside out and living in joy. Where have you grown and what do you need to celebrate about yourself today?
I encourage you to “ease up” a bit because you might be surprised by what God will do on your behalf. Relax, sit back and give God a chance to do something for you.
I had been reading the daily devotional “Until Today” by Iyanla Vanzant for many years. I put it on the bookshelf when I moved to Maui over a year ago, until yesterday. While in prayer yesterday, something nudged me to dust it off and start reading it again. I think Spirit knew I was going to need the message today.
Here is what I read:
Today I am devoted to living without judgements! I am devoted to letting things be! (March 4)
“From where you sit, it may seem that certain people should know better, they should be better and they know they should be doing better. The truth is that every time you should someone, you make a judgment. Your judgement reflects your belief in right and wrong based on what you know or may not know. Your judgement reveals your attitude of superiority that says you have the right to determine what must be done, how it must be done and who must do it. Your judgement shows that you resist accepting things the way they are. A judgement is a means of control. It is an attempt to get people to do what you need and want them to do in order to feel better about yourself. A judgement is a sign of fear. Most important of all, a judgement is the way you set yourself up to be judged by others.”
I received a text from my brother when I woke up this morning informing me that my 95 year old step-mother had a bad fall 2 weeks ago and had to go and live with her sister. Of course, I called her immediately and told her that I hadn’t called because no one had told me about the accident. I left a message on her phone just yesterday and planned on calling again today. She explained to me what happened and reassured me that she was getting better. I felt upset and angry with my brother for not letting me know sooner.
I knew God was speaking to me loud and clear through the reading because I had just finished journaling and writing about my feelings about not being informed that she had the accident. I was “shoulding” on my brother. Many years ago, I put this statement on my phone “I will not should on myself” to remind me not to should on myself, which I did quite a bit at that time.
What I realized is that feelings are not right or wrong. Of course, I would feel angry that I wasn’t informed about it and left out of the loop. I needed to give myself permission to feel the anger and hurt for as long as I needed to feel it. So often, we want to JUMP OVER or deny the feelings because we don’t think it is spiritual to feel these feelings. If I don’t allow myself to feel all of my feelings and try to deny them by whatever I do over them (eat, shop, drink, stay busy, work, gamble) they will often come out sideways and at an innocent bystander or a loved one.
I allowed myself to feel my feelings and then I chose to let them go and not judge my brother. I will speak kindly to him and ask him to let me know in the future when something happens.
Prior to this incident, I was thinking about what God wanted me to write about for the weekly blog. I was working on my “right or wrong” and black and white kind of thinking that I grew up with. Either I was blaming someone for something I didn’t like or I was blaming myself for doing something wrong. Whenever I blame someone for something, I put myself into victim mentality.
I choose not to believe this kind of” right or wrong” thinking anymore because I know I am a perfect divine expression of God and I am always at the perfect and right place in my life. I also believe God’s timing is in perfect and in right order. As divine beings we can really do no wrong. We make choices. Choices have consequences. The only way wrong gets in is when we put it on the path, when we judge ourselves or others. Life always offers us the opportunity to do it over until we receive the desired results of our hearts.
I am grateful when God shines His light into my heart and shows me the truth about myself. As I have written before, it is the desire of my heart to meet my soul mate in Maui. I believe God has put that desire in my heart and it will be fulfilled in God’s time, not mine. For the most part, I am patient and focus on loving myself, having fun and living my life to the fullest. I know like attracts like and l will attract a man who also loves himself and is living his life to the fullest.
I was surprised when I uncovered this false belief about myself this week that needed to be changed and transformed. Have you ever wondered why you can manifest things so easily sometimes and other times, it seems like it takes forever? Perhaps that is God’s way of letting me know I AM NOT IN CONTROL. Have you ever asked yourself, “What’s wrong with me that I cannot manifest this in my life or thought that I must be blocking my good because it hasn’t happened yet?” Yes, there may be blocks that need to be released so I can receive my highest good. But, it may simply be not God’s timing! Acceptance and surrender is the answer here.
This is what I experienced when I went to the weekly dance and noticed 2 women with new boyfriends. The desire for a man in my life was activated and the thought popped into my head “What’s wrong with you that you haven’t manifested your man yet?” Thank God, I recognized this false belief immediately and knew that wasn’t the truth at all.
Whenever I focus on what I “perceive” to be wrong or what’s missing in my life, I lower my vibration and frequency. Whenever my mind takes me into fear or doubt, I need to affirm the truth and call in love and light. My affirmation is “Everything I need is streaming toward me, I open my hands to receive and everything is unfolding according to a divine plan and in the perfect timing.”
There is nothing wrong with you or me, we are God’s perfect expression in this world and we are made in Gods’ image and likeness. That doesn’t mean that we don’t need to change because life is about change and we are constantly evolving and growing into the person God intended us to be.
I am learning to trust the process of life and the lessons that show up for my highest good on a daily basis. I trust God to lead me and show me the way because I only want God’s will in my life. I ask for what I need on a daily basis and am open to receiving all the good that is mine. I know that whatever I need, whenever I need it, wherever I need it, for as long as I need it, will always be there for me. I have read that the perfect prayer is to ask for the highest and best for my life.
I am attuned to my divine nature – Daily Word March/April pg. 49
Because I am made in the image of likeness of God, my essence is divine. In prayer, I affirm my higher nature and invite clarity on how to more fully express it in my thoughts, words and actions. Settling into the silence, I quiet my mind and heart. I become aware of my soul-essence and of God’s gentle presence. This presence is always within me; my spiritual practice simply brings it into focus. I rest in the Presence for a time of meditation. I continue my spiritual practice as I bring my awareness back to the activities of the day. I remain attuned to the present moment. Deeply connected to my divine nature, I shine God’s presence into the world.
I received an email from my friend Mary, in Rhode Island, responding to last week’s blog and here is what she wrote:
“Thank you for your blog because you always teach us a lesson and I am grateful for that.The way you handled the situation with the dance teacher was amazing and food for thought. I always look forward to Wednesday. It used to be “Prince Spaghetti Day” but now it’s “Pat’s Life Experience’s Day.” When I read your blog, it makes me feel as if I am talking to you, and that makes me feel happy inside.”
I thank Mary for sharing her thoughts because that is my intention for the blogs; to be as authentic as I can be and to be God’s instrument of love and peace. I believe we are all connected. I know the lessons I am learning each week are not just for me. I am humbled and grateful that so many of you have written to tell me how you are inspired by my walk in faith and how Spirit provides.
Before I share some of the synchronicities I experienced this week, I would like to share my lesson from Spirit.I recently found a small purple sticker that read PEACEAHOLIC. I bought it immediately and put it on my computer so I would see it daily. To live in peace and BE Peace is the desire of my heart. For many years, I was a RUSHAHOLIC and I multi-tasked. I prided myself on all the things I could do at once. I cannot stand to rush anymore because it robs me of my peace of mind. I strive to live in the moment and follow my intuition to lead me in what I need to do next. But those old behaviors rear their ugly head once in a while and the key is to be aware and awake when I notice myself rushing. When I found myself rushing around one morning, I stopped to journal about what was going on and asked myself, “Why am I rushing and why am I putting this self-induced pressure on myself?”
This is what Spirit revealed to me, “Rushing is about not trusting myself – that I will miss something or that I’m not doing something right or that I don’t know what is best for me.” I knew what was coming up was deep because for so many years I gave my power away by looking outside for my answers and thinking others knew what was best for me. I asked myself, “Who knows better than me what I need in my life?” I needed to love and forgive myself for not trusting myself for so many years. Today, I am happy to be a PEACEAHOLIC. As I drove home today from my massage, I spotted the bumper sticker on the car in front of me. It was PEACE IS POWER. Don’t you just love how God sends his messages to us?
This week has been a week of synchronicities and seeing God at work in my life and my friend’s life. I would like to share a few of the stories with you as they unfolded just because I showed up and said, “YES” to receiving all that God wanted to give me.
My friend, Trudy, gave me a beautiful framed print of an ocean scene with dolphins jumping out of the water and a man and woman embracing in the heavens. The picture is called Hi-I’Lei O Lani (Held in the Arms of Heaven) and the artist is Steve Sundram. She said, “It reminds me of the love between a man and a woman and this is my wish for you on Valentine’s Day. I have the picture hanging in my home also. I couldn’t wait to hang it in my ohana when I returned home that day.
Trudy and I attended the Maui Open Studios this weekend where there were over 90 artists participating in the event. Since I am a “budding artist” and just learning to paint, it was so much fun going into the artists’ studios/homes and watching them paint and seeing their art. The last studio that we visited was in a gated community in Wailea (one of the most affluent areas of Maui.) We were overtaken when we pulled up to the house that overlooked the ocean with a beautiful pool in the front yard. The artist greeted us at the door with a warm smile and invited us to come in to see his paintings. I spotted the painting immediately when I walked in and realized I was in the presence of the artist who painted the picture “Held in the Arms of Heaven.”
Steve was happy to hear that his painting was hanging on our walls and how we were calling in our soul mates through his painting. He then told us the story of how he painted it and what he experienced when he moved to Maui. He said, “Living in Maui was like being held in the arms of heaven.” What a beautiful image and l agree living in Maui is like being held in the arms of heaven. Of course, I had to have my picture taken with him and I have his picture now with the painting on my wall.
Another synchronicity happened when my friend, Jodie, asked me to give the yoga teacher the poem that she read at the last class because she wasn’t sure she was going to attend the next class. I asked her to read it to me since I was driving the car and hadn’t heard it yet. Jodie had no idea that one of my girlfriends had just broken up with her boyfriend and that the poem would be perfect for her. I couldn’t wait to get home and send it to my girlfriend. Shortly after I sent her the poem she emailed me back and said, “Thanks for the words because they are right on- especially the “graceful part.” I had to go to my boyfriend’s house yesterday to drop something off, and while I was there, I picked up an angel that he had at the door- GRACE. Appropriate as I go through the different levels of possible final responses. Here is the poem.
“There is a trick to the graceful exit. It begins with the vision to recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over – and let go. It means leaving what’s over without denying its validity or its past importance in our lives. It involves a sense of future, a belief that every exit line is an entry that we are moving on, rather than out. It’s hard to recognize that life isn’t a holding action but a process. It’s hard to learn that we don’t leave the best parts of ourselves behind, back in the dugout. We own what we learned back there. The experience and the growth are grafted onto our lives, and when we exit, we can take ourselves along – quite gracefully.” Author Ellen Goodman
Here is an amazing story of what I experienced with asking and receiving. As I was leaving church on Sunday, I was chatting with my friends, Jodie and Trudy. Jodie turned her head and spotted the beautiful picture of the Holy Spirit on the wall and nonchalantly said, “I really want that picture.” Trudy immediately responded and said, “I have that picture and I would like you to have it. One of my neighbors gave it to me and I don’t have a place for it in my home.” It is still rolled up in the box and it is signed by the artist! Jodie stood there speechless trying to hold back the tears. I love how Spirit works when we are ready to ASK & RECEIVE.
I was at the right place at the right moment. On Wednesdays several artists gather at different places on the island to paint together. Although I hadn’t painted that day with them, I walked around to see what the painters had painted. I didn’t recognize one of the artists and stopped to talk to him. I asked him, “How long have you been on Maui and where are you from?” He said, “I’m from Boise.” I replied, “Oh, my son is from Boise.” He said, “Boise is a small place, what’s his name?” I replied, “Tim Hastings.” His eyes lit up and he said, “I know Tim, he has a tattoo on his whole back, you’re Tim’s mother?” Neither one of us could believe it. This is the second time I’ve met someone on Maui that knew my son Tim. They say, “It’s a small world-and it sure is.” I love how Spirit works in my life and I love sharing it with you. I wish you peace.
As I sat down to write this, I lit a candle and asked God to speak through me clearly because I knew the learning and healing I experienced this week was profound. For most of my life, it was my belief that I had to be strong, perfect and “together” for me to be loved. I am learning that when I am weak, God is strong in me. I am also coming to believe that being vulnerable is a “strength” (rather than a weakness) because it allows me to be cared for by God and others in ways that are nurturing and healing. I am not only learning to trust and depend on God in a deeper way, but I am learning to ask others for help and to trust they will be there for me when I need them. I am on a spiritual journey of profound reliance on God. It is a faith walk that I take one step at a time, leaning on God and others as much as I need to.
I woke up this morning with a sharp pain in my neck and filled with anxiety. I kept repeating to myself, “I let go, I let go, I trust you God.” A few hours later when my friend Trudy came over to give me a ride to the bank, she could see the pain on my face. I burst into tears and said, “I am feeling very vulnerable, afraid and needy.” Feeling vulnerable, needy and powerless is not a place I like to be; I like to be in control and know that I can take care of myself at all times. When I told her what was going on, she was so compassionate, loving and happy to hold a space for me. She said, “When I was in so much pain last month, you called me every day to check on me and I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. I am happy to be here for you today.” She prayed with me while gently rubbing my back. We thanked God together for already answering my prayers. When she finished, we both cried as we knew on a deep level that God had brought us together to help and support one another in our time of vulnerability and need.
Here is what was going on: I let my friend borrow my “Maui Cruiser” car when I went back to Rhode Island for Christmas. A few days later she called and said, “Pat, I am afraid to drive your car because it is making a lot of noises. I cannot pick you up at the airport because I don’t think it will make it.” My car was working great when I left. I called my friend Steve who knows a lot about cars and helped me buy my car in September. He offered to go to my friend’s house and take a look at it for me. After he checked it out he said, “I think we should have it towed to my mechanic to make sure it is ok.” I agreed and called AAA in Hawaii and they were able to coordinate the towing to the garage. I was very grateful for Steve’s willingness to assist me with my car.
I was in Rhode Island and there was nothing I could do about it so I chose to stay in peace and trusted that the problem with my car was something minor and would be fixed. Of course, when I returned to Maui, I didn’t have a car and had to ask friends for rides to get around. Trudy has also offered to be my taxi cab driver while I am without a car. I wasn’t prepared when Steve called to give me the prognosis about my car. He said, “Pat, it needs a new engine. I have been looking on Craig’s list for a used engine and I found one in Lahaina and it costs $500. I will need the cash to bring to the mechanic so he can use his truck to pick up the engine.” I got off the phone in tears. I prayed and asked God who I could call to cash a check for me. My bank is out of state and I hadn’t opened a Hawaii bank account yet. Immediately, another friend came into my mind and I called and asked him for help. He was happy to assist me and agreed to meet me at his bank the next morning. I was filled with gratitude for his willingness to help me.
I realized that my feelings of vulnerability came from being alone here without family and not knowing anything about cars and engines and what I should do. I was choosing to trust Steve to guide me in my decision making. I prayed and asked God to open the door if I was to move forward and buy this “used engine” and close the door if it wasn’t a good engine. The story will be continued as it unfolds.
While this car business was going on which was stressful enough, I received a call from my new tenant in Rhode Island telling me she had several problems that needed to be addressed immediately; one of them being a leak in the dining room ceiling. My son gave me the name of someone who worked for him when he owned property. I called Walter and he agreed to go over the next day and address all of the problems. He contacted me afterward and told me what was needed to rectify the problems. Being 5000 miles away from my condo left me feeling quite vulnerable. I am sure that he could sense my stress with my quivering voice because as we were getting off the phone, he said, “I have it covered Pat, don’t worry.” It felt like God was saying to me, “I have it covered Pat, trust me and don’t worry. I have everything under control.”
The same day, I found out that one of my emails was hacked into and Delta Dental was dropping me because they hadn’t received my payment. Thank God both of these situations were taken care of and I didn’t lose my dental insurance.
I am learning to trust God by relinquishing my control and letting go and letting God. I am learning to ask others for help and trusting they will be there for me when I need them. I am learning to thank God in advance for how my prayers are being answered because an attitude of gratitude keeps me focused on God’s presence and power.
It is my belief that everything happens for a reason and that it is through problems and failures, weakness and neediness that I learn to rely more and more on God. Each problem or failure is followed by a growth spurt. I must have had a gigantic growth spurt this week. Whee…….. I am glad I got through it and can write about it. I know it’s all good and it’s all God.
DAILY WORD – LET GO LET GOD Jan/Feb pg.23
As I let go and let God, I am in the divine flow of life. Chores, tasks, commitments – I always have plenty to do. At times, I may even let my to-do list manage me, rather than the other way around. So today, I take a different approach: I let go. I let go of rushing, resentment, perfectionism and any feelings of insufficiency. Whatever I choose to do, I focus on it with gratitude, aware of the presence of God in this moment and in this work. I let God direct me through each activity with grace and ease, and I experience the joy of giving. When I finish, I bless what I have done and move on to my next task. I work in this way throughout the day, letting go and letting God steer me from one activity to the next. I am in the divine flow, and I am grateful
As this year comes to an end and a new year begins, I want to thank all of you who have supported and loved me this past year. It has certainly been a year of adventure, stepping out in faith and living my dreams. I have loved sharing it with you and inspiring you to live your dreams as well. Many of you have written to me sharing your dreams as well as your struggles and how your faith in God has been tested and strengthened. For many of us, it has been a year of “letting go and letting God.”
When you receive this blog, I will be on my way back to Maui from my visit with family and friends in New England. I so look forward to being back in paradise and the warm weather and the whales that are coming back. It was great seeing everyone and spending time together. We all stayed with my daughter Mary and she did a fantastic job of cooking delicious meals for all of us.
We even had snow on Christmas day and 8 inches of snow 3 days later. I was prepared with my heavy coat, boots and gloves as we took a walk through the woods. My son Jimmy and his girlfriend Lara had a beautiful Christmas tree (that he cut down himself) that filled the room and reached the ceiling. We celebrated the Winter Solstice at my
daughter’s farm with singing and a big bonfire, where we were invited to write down what we wanted to let go of and what we wanted to bring in for the new year. Five year old Cielea said, “I want to let go of crying and I want to bring in flowers and a healthy new baby (Her mom is due to give birth any day.)
Even though I had a wonderful time being with my family, “my stuff” came up (which never feels very good.) I think being with family (especially ex’s) triggers old behaviors, patterns and feelings that still need healing. I prayed for a dream, asking for clarity on what needed to be changed in me. God answered that prayer when I woke up from a sound sleep in the middle of the night with a dream that headlights from a car were shining in the room. Spirit revealed to me how I give my power away by looking to others to give me what I need to give to myself. Something shifted inside of me after the dream and I was able to feel peace and get back to sleep. So I am grateful for more opportunities to see what’s inside that needs to be changed; whether it be to detach with love, let go, forgive, or just to focus on the positive, instead of complaining.
I had a pleasant surprise when I returned to my condo for the first time since I left in September. Almost all of my furniture was out of my condo except a small table and lamp in my bedroom. When I put the lamp on, I noticed a ladybug sitting on the table! As I have shared in other blogs, ladybugs are one of my signs of God’s unconditional
love for me. I then looked on the floor and spotted another one. It looked like a mother and baby. I was delighted to received this wonderful gift of love. Then, a couple of days later at Christmas, I received a beautiful bracelet from my son and future daughter-in-law that had a ladybug on it. It came with a wonderful description about the meaning of the ladybug.
“Legend has it that the ladybug was named for the Virgin Mary who assisted farmers once they prayed to her. Keeping fields safe from harm, the ladybug evokes the energy of harmony. A ladybug’s life is short. It teaches us to release worries and to enjoy experiences to the fullest. A messenger of promise, when the ladybug appears in our lives it is telling us to “Let go and let God.”
Not only do I think this message of “letting go” confirms my lessons for 2012, but it will be the theme for 2013.
This is what I read today in “Effortless Prosperity” by Bijan
“As we were growing up, we were taught the importance of being in control; the more control that we had, the happier we would be. The truth is that the more we surrender control to Spirit (taking it away from ego), the more we will be guided in the right direction. It is like jumping into the river while wearing a life jacket. As we float downstream near the rocks, we can try to push ourselves away, but we will usually
crash into them. However, if we just let go and let the water carry us through, it will naturally take us around the rocks. If we just give up control, with little intention of going anywhere other than where the current leads us, we will be carried where we are supposed to go and where it will be best for us.”
More and more I find that I am able to surrender my plans to God and allow myself to be carried where I am supposed to be, in the way that is best for me (even though it may be painful.) I surrendered the sale of my home in Rhode Island to God and I am happy to report that I found a wonderful new tenant. I signed my lease to rent my condo (yea) on January 2 and leaving for Maui on January 3rd. Yes, God came through at the 11th hour and at the perfect and right time!
My prayer and wish for you for this coming year is that you know that you are ONE with God and that you experience God’s love and peace in all that you do.
I woke up this morning feeling a little “out of sorts.” As I lay in bed pondering what was really going on, I realized that following my heart and dream is not always easy. While I may be excited about my life adventure and what I am embarking on, it became clear to me that it was also causing my loved one’s some pain. Even though I know they only want my happiness, it is still difficult for them to see me leave and not be present as I have been for them all of their lives. It doesn’t matter if you are leaving a marriage, a job, your home or family and friends, there is a loss and feelings needs to be processed. I acknowledged this and allowed myself to feel my sadness and grief that I was contributing to their pain. But I also know with absolute certainty that I am following God’s plan for my life and so that is for the highest good of all of us.
If you are like me, and especially if you are a mother, my focus was on taking care of my children and making them happy. That was my responsibility and I gladly did it. In the past, I had a hard time taking care of myself and felt guilty wanting to do what I wanted to do because it felt selfish. I thought that I “should” take care of others first, but it was often at the expense of myself.
Today, I know that taking care of myself and loving myself, have to come first, then I can truly be there for others and love them, but I had that backwards for a long time. Over the years this has been a major shift for me and I know it’s my turn to spread my wings and fly. Not only have I learned to love myself, I know that I am teaching my children how to do the same.
How about you? Do you have a hard time putting yourself first? Have you put your dreams and needs on the back burner thinking that was the loving thing to do? Are you afraid of displeasing someone or disappointing them? Is it time for you to say YES to your dreams and passions?
As I was driving to the dentist this morning, I was thinking about my role as a mother, and how much I still miss my own mother who died 45 years ago. Her name was Honey and whenever I’ve needed to feel her presence over the years, I would hear the song Honey on the radio. I hadn’t heard it for a very long time and doubted I would hear it today, because it came out right after she died 45 years ago. I asked God to let me see or hear Honey in my travels that day. I forgot about it and went about my business.
After my dentist appointment, I met a friend for lunch and as I was pulling out of the parking lot, I spotted the license plate that read HON 1. Yes, I felt her presence and said, “thank you God!” Just a few hours later, I received an email from someone, and she finished her email, with the words, Enjoy HON and thank you for inspiring me in your newsletter!
When we need confirmation about something, there are Messages are all around us, but first we must ask for help, and then be open and present to see them, I’ve had many incidents this week where God answered my prayer and “showed up” for me, giving me exactly what I need to know that I am on track. I put my bedroom set on Craigslist and received a call that night from a man who was interested in coming to look it. We agreed that he would come the next morning and he told me “I will be coming in a truck,” but I was still surprised when he arrived in a very big truck! I showed him the furniture and he bought it on the spot. He wanted to take it with him since he lived in New York, but the only problem was that there wasn’t anyone to help him carry the furniture to the truck. He said, “I will walk outside and see if I can find someone.”
My neighborhood is quiet and you don’t see people just walking around, so I quickly prayed, “Please God, bring someone that can help him move the furniture to the truck.” He was gone for a little while and I didn’t know where he went. Then, I saw him walking back down my street with a young man walking with him. I smiled and said, “Thank you God!” There is a construction crew working on a house on the corner of my street and this man knocked on the door and offered one of the men working there $20 if he would help him move my furniture into his truck.
I realized that not only did God answer my prayer, but I am growing more and comfortable in asking for what I want and expecting I will get it. I have actually sold many things on Craigslist this summer including bikes, air conditioners, tables, bedroom set, desk, and bookcases, and what is interesting is that one person calls, comes to look at the item and buys it. It flows with peace, ease and grace and confirms for me that it only takes one person to come and buy what I have to sell.
That got me thinking about selling my house, and so when I met with my real estate agent this week, I said “Joe, I think one person is going to look at my condo and that person will buy it.” He smiled and said, “I hope so, Pat.” I hope so too, but I do more than hope – I expect it!
Unity Daily Word September/October 2012
My faith in God is unshakable
When I pray for prosperity, healing, guidance or peace of mind, I know that God is not outside me, deciding to either give or withhold my wishes. God is within me as pure divine abundance, wholeness, wisdom and serenity. It is my faith in God that answers my prayers. I may not be able to see what my faith will manifest, or whether my activities will generate the outcomes I desire. But my steadfast faith, attuned to God in prayer, reminds me that God’s spirit is moving in and through me and is active in all situations. As I become more aware of the activity of God in my life, I look beyond any uncertainty or doubt to the assurance that, regardless of the outcome, Spirit will be with me.
In order to get from where I am, to where I want to be, I must go THERE. You may ask, where is THERE? Please let me explain.
For much of my life, I ran from myself. I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted, but I knew what others needed and wanted. My focus was on pleasing others because I didn’t have any self worth or self-love. My thinking was distorted because I thought that if I loved you, then you would have to love me back. Here are some of the ways I ran from myself: staying busy, eating, shopping, controlling others, people-pleasing and rushing. These behaviors kept me from knowing my true self and loving myself.
Have you ever felt down or depressed and then went shopping or had a big piece of chocolate cake, and your mood shifted and you were blissful? There are numerous ways people run from themselves through addictions. As an addiction therapist for over 20 years, I know a lot about addictions. Regardless of whether you ingest something like food, alcohol, nicotine or drugs, or have a process addiction like workaholism, gambling, religiosity, hoarding, shopping, rushing, perfectionism, spending hours on the internet or just staying busy, the same thing happens as a result. You medicate your feelings and push them down, so you don’t have to feel them, and so that you don’t have to go THERE.
Today, rather than running from myself, I am running to myself. In the quiet of doing nothing with myself, by myself, I find myself. I am loving myself by allowing myself to go THERE. I am allowing all of my feelings to come up so I can feel them and then let them go. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t always like to go THERE (especially when I am feeling anger, fear, grief or sadness), but I have learned from experience, that in order to get from where I am to where I want to be, I must allow myself to go through this process and it is crucial to my spiritual and emotional health.
It used to be a way of life for me to pretend everything was OK and push my feelings down, but not anymore. Today, I welcome my feelings in and am honest with others, and myself, about what I am feeling.
I have spent the last few weeks, letting go of my “stuff” so that I can move to Maui full time. As I was doing that I kept hearing the message “You must let go of the old, so the new can come.” One day as I sat in my living room and looked around my house, I felt incredible peace and what I realized in that moment is that I loved the old. I loved my home and everything in it. I had created a sacred sanctuary where I felt safe and comfortable.
I’m not selling my home because I don’t like it, I have loved living in it. As I realized that, feelings of sadness and loss welled up inside of me and I sat and cried. I know what the “old” is and it feels comfortable, but I don’t know what the new is and that can feel scary. This is where the trust comes in. Even though I love my home, I know I will love my NEW home in Maui even more and I will create the same sacred sanctuary there.
Earlier this week, I did a huge cleaning out in my basement and the next morning when I woke up, I felt wiped out and like I had been hit by a truck. It almost felt like I was in withdrawal from letting go of my “stuff.” I even questioned if I was doing the right thing by moving to Maui. I hadn’t realized that letting go was going to be so emotionally draining. I said to God, “I need a big dose of you today.” I went to brunch at a friend’s house and then went home and took a hot bath and slept for several hours. I allowed myself to bask in God’s presence and rest. I meditated and prayed, knowing my strength would come back as I allowed myself to go THERE and feel all of my feelings. It was like I emptied myself so I could be filled again.
In the evening, as a way of nurturing myself, I re-read 62 letters that college students had sent me after I spoke to their business class last fall about the importance of spirituality in their lives. I truly got my “dose of God” through reading their heartfelt sentiments and how I impacted their lives. I knew I was living my passion and doing God’s will.
The next day I attended the spiritual center I belong to. The feelings had moved through me and I was feeling more like myself. I didn’t notice it at first and then was shocked when I saw what was written on the man’s shirt right in front of me. It read MAUI and ALOHA! I said, “Thank you God for the confirmation I am on the right track and following you!” I was reminded once again that we get what we need when we need it and are open to receiving it.
This week I was also reminded that we can help others get what they need too! A couple of weeks ago, a woman called me from the Center for Women and Enterprise in Providence, asking if she could interview me for a “business success” story in their newsletter. Of course, I was honored and said, “Yes.” After the initial questions of how CWE helped me in my business, I talked about my own definition of success. I said, “I used to think success only meant making a lot of money and if you weren’t making a lot of money, your business wasn’t successful.” Of course, we need and want to make money so we can serve more, have fun and enjoy the fruits of our labor.
What I later realized is that true success is being free to do whatever you want to do and whenever you want to do it. It is living in love and joy. It is using your gifts to serve the community. It is being passionate and doing what you love to do. It is experiencing abundance in all areas of your life. It is living your life to the fullest in gratitude for all the good in your life.
As our interview continued, the young woman interviewing me appeared open to discussing spirituality and what it meant to her. She said, “I have been thinking about meditating lately because I want to know myself better.” She looked around my house and said, “It feels like a church here (I have nothing spiritual on the walls), there is so much peace in this room.” I was thrilled because I am visualizing the person who buys my house will walk in the house and feel the energy of love and peace and feel compelled to buy the house.
Then, I heard God say, “Give her your book” so I did. What appeared to be just an ordinary interview, turned out to be extraordinary. We never know when God is going to use us to share our faith and help someone grow on the spiritual path.
I encourage you to go deeper with God and stop running from yourself. Be still, rest, trust and know that God is in control and wants only your best. I like to think that God has me covered.
Heart Steps – Julia Cameron
My Soul Has Patience and Containment
I am patient. I am able to live with ambiguity. I am able to allow situations to evolve and alter. I am able to await outcomes. I tolerate quiet periods of non-knowing while solutions emerge and present themselves. I do not force solutions. I expect the successful working-out of difficulties and differences. My heart is wise. It knows when to act and when non-action is the action to take. I trust my patient heart. I trust the power of my containment.
As I was pulling out of the restaurant parking lot last Sunday, I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw a sign on the back bumper of the car parked next to me. It read, Relax – God is in control. I beeped for my friend Glenn to get out of his car so he could also see the sign. I said, Holy S…… He said, “Are you kidding me? It is the exact words we just talked about as we walked out of the restaurant.” He was speechless other than a softly uttered “thank you” because we knew this was GOD speaking to us both. He took a picture of the car and put it as a screen saver on his phone to help him remember the message! He said, “This is a message I can’t afford to ignore, a message clearly given out of Love and felt in my Soul.” We left the restaurant in awe of the power of God and the love we both felt. It truly was a “Divine Connection.”
I almost missed this “Divine Connection” of God speaking to us through the bumper sticker because I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity. Let me explain. I met Glenn at the church we both attended, and after the service he asked me, “Would you like to go to lunch?” I hesitated at first because I didn’t want to spend the money. I had been out to lunch with friends several times that week and I didn’t feel comfortable spending any more money. I said, “Thank you for the invitation, but I will have to pass for today.”
After he left the church, I quickly realized I was coming from lack and scarcity because I did have the money. I ran out after him and called his name. “Glenn, I changed my mind and I would be happy to go to lunch with you.” I was honest and said, “I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity and I no longer choose to live in a state of lack.” He told me a few days later what he heard after he left the church to go to his car.. “Glenn, walk slow, she might change her mind” and then “listen, in case she calls your name” right before I called his name. I am so grateful that we were both listening to our “inner voice” and God (which I believe are the same.)
While driving to the restaurant, I heard God say, “I want you to pay for his lunch too.” When I hear God, I listen. When the bill came, I grabbed for it and told him, “I am buying.” He looked uncomfortable and said, “This is killing me.” I asked why and he said, “I have to learn to receive and not always be giving.” He was learning to receive and I was practicing not to live in lack and scarcity.
We sat in the restaurant for two hours and the conversation about life and spirituality just flowed. We talked about the importance of not “reacting” and making decisions out of fear and lack . His parting words to me were, “I think I need to put the brakes on in my life.” I then told him about my sign RELAX that I purchased several years ago when I was rushing and trying to make things happen and it wasn’t working. I desperately needed to learn to RELAX. He described himself as an ACTION person and that he had tried everything in his life to be happy. He admitted that he was hitting walls and didn’t know what to do next. I shared how I have learned to trust and accept that I am right where I need to be and that “Not Knowing what was next” was okay.
Glenn sent me an email after our “Divine Connection” and said, “Pat, before I attended church that morning, I asked myself, What are you going to do about your life? A numb feeling of distress filled me as I held back the true fear that was rushing through me. I was struggling and in need of help, help to learn how to care for myself as I did for others. I was trapped in my own mind-set surrounded by my personal weaknesses and feeling overwhelmed.”
He shared with me, “As I soaked in every word you said at lunch, I finally felt the connection to my Creator push forward from where I had buried it. My hope began to come back, my sense of calm re-appeared and the confidence in my spiritual path and a better tomorrow over-took me. Thank You God for the message I needed. Thank you Pat for pointing it out. Thank you for the lunch that led me back to the path that I cherish and has brought me so much peace and happiness since its inception that I have to pinch myself to know it’s not a wonderful dream.”
I am grateful that I listened to my intuition and acted “quickly” and that I was able to be honest with Glenn. I am grateful that Glenn was open and asked for what he needed. I am grateful to God for His love, for speaking to us both so powerfully and allowing me to serve him that day.
I thought about the bumper sticker all week and how it applied to my life. My house was on the market for one week and I was feeling some impatience (can you imagine that) that no one had looked at my house yet. When I went to bed that night, I prayed for a dream and asked God if I should lower the price of my house. All I remembered about the dream in the morning was that I was rushing. It felt like God was reassuring me not to rush that everything was under control.
As I took my walk the next day, God impressed on my heart exactly what I needed to do: rather than worrying, being fearful, living in the “what ifs” and the HOW and WHEN my house will sell, I needed to up the ante with my affirmation of gratitude “Thank you God for the right and perfect person to buy my house for the right price and right timing.” So it became my mantra whenever I thought about the house and it brought me peace and serenity.
On another note, I opened my email a few days ago and there was an email from my son Tim. He commented on my last blog and said, “When I looked at the picture that read KEEP ON PATH, what I saw was KEEP ON PAT H – KEEP ON! I loved it. So I will leave you with KEEP ON, KEEP ON!
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