Spirit said, “You must be willing and ready to change directions in your life, especially when you don’t know WHY.” Let me share what happened.
My best friend, Kati, invited me to her birthday party this week. My pupu was prepared and I was ready to go. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I didn’t want to go and felt really uncomfortable about going. I prayed about it and asked Spirit for guidance. It would be one thing if I didn’t feel good, but I felt fine. How was I going to explain this to her and, of course, I didn’t want to disappoint her? It was so strong that I had to follow my heart and trust I was being led by Spirit.
I called Kati and said, “I won’t be coming to your party tonight and I don’t know why.” I felt stupid, but needed to be totally honest. Of course, she was disappointed, but understood I needed to follow my heart. We were both curious as to why this was happening. When I’ve changed my mind in the past about something I was doing, the next day it would be clear what the reason was. I decided that I wouldn’t beat up on myself and that I would trust Spirit whether the reason was clear or not.
When I prayed about it the next day because I didn’t know why I said no, , Spirit said,
“Most of your life you have put others’ needs first because you needed their love. Today, you are loving yourself first and the love you share now with others is my love. You followed your heart and risked your friend’s disapproval. I know it was difficult and uncomfortable saying no to her, but you also knew she would understand. It was more important to follow Spirit and your heart than to please Kati. You are going deeper in your trust of me and my guidance.”
This brings to mind what happened when I moved to Maui almost 7 years ago. I had to be willing to change directions because it was my plan to continue coaching, teaching and speaking. That was not God’s plan! I was only here a few weeks and settling in when I heard Spirit clearly say, “I don’t want you to do anything, but I want you to learn how TO BE.” I knew how TO DO, but I didn’t know how TO BE. There was resistance at first because I thought I knew how TO BE, but I didn’t
So much has happened since I listened and learned how TO BE.
- I’ve learned the art of “allowing” and to surrender and go with the flow instead of pushing my way and making things happen. Exhausting!
- I’ve learned how to TRUST myself and inner guidance, which enables me to RECEIVE the good that the Divine wants to give me.
- I’ve learned how to say no when I need to and only do what feels right.
- I’ve learned to love and appreciate all of me, my shadow as well as my light.
- I’ve learned to give up control and RELAX knowing everything happens for a reason, has a purpose and there are no mistakes.
- I’ve learned to live in gratitude knowing I am being led to my greatest and highest good.
- I’ve learned to live in the moment because that is all there is.
I’ve really “settled in” to this peaceful place and enjoy relaxing, playing, swimming, surrendering and BEING. Now I am hearing Spirit say again, “YOU NEED TO CHANGE DIRECTIONS AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND SOUL’S CALLING.” Of course, I will still do the things I love.
I ask for the grace to remember all I’ve learned in this time of BEING and bring these qualities to the new chapter with the Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing trainings and workshops in which I’m involved in.
I’m excited as I am following my heart and soul’s calling. I feel honored, blessed, grateful, expanded and humbled to be doing this powerful sacred healing work with women.
Our first workshop on Maui is called “Awakening to Sacred Sexuality” and is scheduled for January 5th & 6th at the Waleia Healing Center. L will be assisting Amrita Grace as an apprentice for the Awakening & Healing workshop in Oakland, California in October. I will be attending a week- long Awakening and Healing retreat in Costa Rica with Caroline Muir and Amrita Grace in November. Oh, happy day! I am free and ready to fly with the angels.
Are you following your heart and are you willing to change direction when Spirit guides you?
For the past 40 years of my spirtitual journey, I have practiced the concept of “open and closed doors.” When I don’t know if something is God’s will or my will, I pray, “God open or close the door.” It hurts when the door is slammed in my face and I am left wandering in the hallway until the next door opens, especially when it takes a long time for the next door to open. Over the years, I have learned to trust that when a door is closed, there is always something better and more aligned for my highest good.
“Closed doors are a valid part of GUIDANCE. When God closes a door, it’s because there is a better plan. If He closes one door, He’ll open another, according to His timing, not mine. I keep moving in faith, even in the face of closed doors.” Basham 1975
Alan Cohen in his book, “The Grace Factor” discusses grace and GUIDANCE. He writes “Never underestimate the power of grace to find you where you are and take your hand. No situation is so dark, dismal, or disgusting that grace cannot enter and move you to a higher ground. When you stepped outside the gate of the Kingdom, a homing device was implanted in your heart. That device has functioned perfectly, constantly feeding you information about where to turn, when, and how. The fact that you have chosen not to listen to its message has not daunted it from broadcasting impeccable guidance. YOU KNOW ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU NEED IT.”
Here are a couple of examples in my life of closed doors that turned out for my highest good:
1. A year after my divorce, I met a man and we were engaged to be married. We were together for 2 years. As I look back on it today, I realize that we would not have made it together. God closed the door and I remained single for 15 years before I met Larry. If God hadn’t closed the door, I would not be where I am today. It was the desire of my heart to meet my soulmate and I “waited” in the hallway for 15 years. At times, I felt angry and didn’t understand why it took so long. I tried banging on the door because of my impatience and lack of trust. That didn’t work! I learned many lessons in the hallway about trust, surrender and God’s perfect timing. For me, it is always about TRUST and I am learning to trust that when I am ready, the door will open at the perfect and right timing.
2. During my divorce, I prayed and asked God for guidance whether to sell my house or remortgage it because I couldn’t afford the monthly payment. When I finally made the decision to re-mortgage my house, the peace came. My ex-husband needed to sign the papers because we weren’t divorced yet, which he agreed to do. On the day of the closing, he decided he wasn’t going to sign the papers and there was nothing I could do about it. A week later, to my surprise, I received a letter from the mortgage company informing me that the interest rate had gone down (on its own) because it was an adjustable mortgage. The payment was the same as if I had re-mortgaged. God closed the door through my ex-husband’s last minute refusal to save me money.
I don’t know about you but, as a parent, it is difficult to watch your child suffer when a door is closed, especially if it is something they really wanted. Recently, one of my children applied for his dream job and it looked very promising. When he told me that he didn’t get it, my heart hurt and I felt sad and disappointed for him.
It was important for me to allow him his feelings and process. It was not the time to talk about closed doors and the door closed for his highest good. I needed to be there for him and be compassionate, loving and supportive. I had to wait until he was ready to talk about it without pushing and prying. It is easy to do a spiritual bypass which means to deny your feelings and push them down. I didn’t want that to happen to him.
When I am living in faith, I trust that a Higher Power or the Universe knows what is best for me (and my family and friends) because I don’t know what lies ahead. I am sure we have all had experiences when a door has been closed and it’s only afterward that we understand why.
Are you in the “hallway” now in some area of your life? Learning to wait with grace takes trust, surrendering to “what is” and patience. When we trust that our Higher Power has the perfect plan and timing for us, we will have peace that passes all understanding. I love the statement “God has my back.” Do you agree?
I lost myself in DOING and I found myself in BEING. I will share with you my journey and experience of finding myself the last 5 years after I moved to Maui.
I retired from my profession of 20 years as an Alcohol and Drug therapist 8 years ago after my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” was published. I then started my own coaching and speaking business. When I moved to Maui 5 years ago, it was my plan to continue my spiritual life coaching practice as well as be an inspirational speaker. We know the quote, “We make plans and God laughs.”
It had only been a few weeks after I arrived on Maui, when I heard Spirit say, “I don’t want you to do anything, I want you to learn HOW TO BE. At first I thought I was hearing things and didn’t like this message. I thought I knew how to BE and wanted to continue using my gifts and doing what I loved to do.
By the grace of God, I listened and let go of my coaching practice and speaking engagements. It didn’t take me long to adjust to this new way of life. I learned to stop pushing and trying to make things happen. I stopped the rushing and busyness that was in the fiber of my being. I relaxed and learned to listen in a deeper way to the small, still voice of God within. My faith and trust in God deepened as I watched the miracles happen. I learned how to live in the moment and be spontaneous. I continued to practice self-love and appreciation.
Many of you have been reading my blogs for years. I am so grateful for your love and support. I have shared my struggles as well as my joys. You know how I attracted a beautiful home overlooking the ocean and how I stepped out in faith trusting God to provide the money for my rent which had doubled. I attracted my soul mate and am now getting married. All of this was a part of God’s plan, for sure.
The past couple of months I have had a “stirring within” to start doing spiritual coaching again. I have prayed about it and believe it is Spirit saying, “It’s time for you Pat to use your gifts again. There are people out there who need you and they will come to you.”
So I am stepping out in faith again and trusting Spirit is leading the way. If you have been reading my blogs, you already know who I am and what I do. I strive to be as authentic as I can and share my process as honestly as I can.
If you feel a “quickening” in your heart and would like a deeper walk with Spirit, I would be happy to assist you on your journey as your spiritual coach.
Do you want to hear the voice of Spirit more clearly?
Do you want more love, faith, joy or peace in your life?
Do you want to remove limiting beliefs that no longer serve you?
Do you want to discover the YOU that has been buried for many years?
Do you want to connect with your authentic self and live from that sacred space?
Do you want to let go of the past and learn to live in the present moment?
Do you want a healthy relationship with your partner?
Do you want to discover and live your passion?
Do you want more fun and play in your life?
Here is a testimony from Linda Pestana who recently started back coaching with me.
“If you are looking for a compassionate and caring guide to help you move in a new direction in your life with tenderness and love….look no further. Pat Hastings tops my list of woman who brings the best out in you. Pat was my spiritual coach for 2 years while she lived in Rhode Island. When she moved to Maui, I felt distance would separate us. I missed her wisdom, empowerment, depth and most of all her love of Spirit. Pat has a gift of listening and tapping into the gift of the moment. She hears your soul and allows you to tap into those places that need healing. I’m back with Pat for spiritual coaching calling her from a distance. It works and my life continues to be blessed.
Spiritual coaching is very important to me as it keeps me focused and calls me to return to the God within. I remember how it is to come home to my own inner voice. Pat has taught me to be gentle with myself. She will hold you tenderly and call you to be that beautiful woman or man that you are.” Linda Pestana, Grief Facilitator and Author of “Voices of the Heart”
I will only work with 5 clients, so if Spirit is knocking at the door of your heart, please email or call me now. I can be reached at 401-862-8859. I look forward to hearing from you and assisting you on your spiritual journey. If you know of anyone who might benefit from spiritual coaching, I would appreciate it if you would forward this to them. Mahalo
What is most important to me is to be conscious of God’s will in my life, and there is peace in my heart when I am. There are times when I need to discern what God’s will is for me and I do that through prayer and meditation.
It can be confusing and frustrating when I don’t know what to do next and have to wait for guidance. Like most of us, I don’t like to wait, and I am often impatient. Eventually, the guidance I am seeking comes and shows up in many different ways: through a dream, another person, reading something in a book, seeing something on a billboard or a license plate, or just a deep knowing about what I need to do next in my life.
As Spirit guides me and I know what my next step is, I must be willing to take action and follow my heart, even when my head says, NO WAY. I shared a few weeks ago that I wanted to celebrate my 70th birthday in a special way and go on a cruise, but Larry decided he didn’t want to go.
Through the grace of God, I felt peaceful and had surrendered not going on a cruise for my birthday. I had accepted that it wasn’t God’s will and was able to let it go. Through a series of unrelated events and emails that I received after writing the blog, I started to think about it again.
I felt conflicted and went within to ask myself some questions, “Am I being selfish and wanting my own way? Is this desire to celebrate my birthday on a cruise from God? Am I making a big deal out of this that will create problems for Larry and me? Am I denying myself something that I really want and that is important to me?”
When I shared my struggle with my friend, Kati, she asked me, “What do you really want to do for your birthday?” I said, “I don’t know.” At that point, I really didn’t know what I wanted because I had accepted that I wasn’t going and had let it go.
That night when I went to bed, I asked God for a dream to help me discern God’s will. I did receive a dream and worked with it in the morning. It was clear that I really did want to go on a cruise and that I wasn’t being honest with myself or Larry.
How often in my life did I stay stuck (and didn’t get what I wanted) because I said I didn’t know what I wanted? It was probably easier to not speak up because I didn’t want to rock the boat. I also wouldn’t be disappointed if I just denied my needs and desires and kept my mouth shut. This clearly doesn’t work for me anymore.
Once I admitted that this is what I really wanted to do for my birthday, I made the decision to go on the cruise by myself if Larry still didn’t want to go. I trusted that the money would show up as it had so many times in the past when God led me to step out in faith. I was letting my heart lead me and not my head with all the reasons it wouldn’t work and I couldn’t go.
I contacted Norwegian Cruise Line again to discuss the Hawaiian island cruise. To my delight and surprise, the agent informed me that there was a significant ($1,300) discount for people who lived in Hawaii. I could afford this cruise if I went alone or if Larry joined me.
When Larry came home that afternoon, I shared with him what was going on and the dream I had worked with. I said, “This is what I really want to do for my birthday. I would love for you to join me, but I am fine going by myself if you choose not to go with me”.
When we trust God and follow our hearts, all things work for the good and there is peace in our hearts. I am grateful to be living in God’s perfect will for me.
Being in a love relationship is so much more than it seems at “first sight.” You know how it goes. You meet someone and are attracted to each another. You spend a lot of time together getting to know each other. You realize that you are very compatible and then “BANG” you decide to become a couple in a committed relationship and then live happily ever after.
Well, you may live happily ever after and you may not. My experience with failed relationships has taught me that it requires a lot of work especially on my part. I am continuously finding opportunities to change, grow, and learn and not to RESIST WHAT IS.
Life and relationships are so much about CHOICES.
- How do I know which choice will be the best?
- Will the choice I make be better for me or for my partner?
- Will the choice I make be better for our relationship?
- Am I being selfish if I make the choice that is best for me?
- Am I being true to myself with the choice I am making?
Of course, being in a relationship is not always about “ME.” Sometimes, it’s about US and doing things I may not want to do. It could be an opportunity to be understanding to the needs of my partner.
The latest opportunity for me in our relationship has been when Pat wanted to take a cruise to celebrate her birthday. My initial response was, “I really don’t want to do that cruise since I have been on the Hawaiian Island cruise before and didn’t see the value staying in Maui for a day and a half on a ship when I live here.”
Initially I said, “If you really want me to go I will go with you.” As I thought more about it, I said, “No, I really don’t want to go.” She understood and affirmed me for saying no, which has been difficult for me in the past. She didn’t want me to go if I didn’t really want to so she tried to figure out a way to go by herself, but found that was too expensive.
I was relieved and thought the issue was closed. I guess it wasn’t because a week later she decided to go by herself, regardless of the expense. She invited me to join her, but said she would go either way.
I knew then that this was really important to her and I didn’t want her to go alone. So I changed my mind and agreed to go on the cruise with her. I am CHOOSING to see this as an opportunity to make a loving choice for Pat and have a fun time together, regardless of where the cruise is going. I realized how happy I am to have her in my life to experience these adventures together.
Since she is really excited about the cruise and it brings her much joy, I agreed to go even though I am not as enthusiastic as she is, I am happy to accompany her and will be positive and supportive and look forward to having a great time with her.
Being in a relationship is like a dance. When you are dancing and moving to the beat and rhythm of the music and you’re in sync with one another, it’s a wonderful experience. I think being in a relationship is about trying to incorporate the beat and rhythm of each other’s personalities, perspectives, wishes and desires. When we accomplish this through love, compassion, generosity and flexibility, it becomes a wonderful experience.
I hope in your relationship you have found the beat and rhythm that continues to make it a wonderful experience.
In Alan Cohen’s book, “Wisdom of the Heart” he writes, “It’s my own love I want, so why confuse it with seeking it from another? When you honor and nurture yourself, your happiness will proceed from within you and you won’t have to depend on another for it. As you give yourself more love, your relationships will change and reflect yourself-honoring. Another person isn’t the source of your love, you are. True love is an inside job.”
I bought a book at a yard sale called, “Madly in Love with ME” by Christine Arylo. I liked the title and was familiar with the author. In each of the chapters, she gives you a list of questions to help you discover how well you are doing on your self-love journey. I scored pretty high and was happy to see that I am on the right path of giving myself self-love.
I am grateful that Spirit always brings to light what is hidden in me so it can be transformed. It could be old beliefs that no longer serve me and will hurt and hinder by spiritual growth.
One of the ways I give myself self-love is to pay attention to my moods, attitudes and feelings. When something is “stirring inside” and just doesn’t feel right, I pray and meditate and ask God for guidance. As I wait and listen, it always becomes clear what needs to change. I often discover it is my ego wanting to cause trouble and unrest in my soul. I know that once the ego is identified, it loses its power. It always helps me to talk about it with someone I love and trust.
As I’ve mentioned in past blogs, being in a relationship will often bring to light “my stuff”. I was given several opportunities to see my stuff this week. Although it always surprises me when I discover an old belief that is still alive and well in my unconscious, I am grateful how quickly I am able to recognize it.
Rather than beat up on myself like I did for so many years when I discovered something about myself or an old belief that was still playing in my head that I didn’t like, I have learned to be gentle, kind and loving toward myself. I forgave myself and didn’t judge myself. It really feels good when I give myself the unconditional love that I would give to one of my children or to a friend when they were hurting.
Without going into all of the details, Spirit revealed to me how I was giving my power away in a couple of areas of my life. Looking outside for validation and approval is always harmful because it is never enough. It is my own validation and approval that I am seeking. Here is what was revealed by Spirit:
- It is not always about me or something I have done wrong when someone doesn’t respond in the way I would like them to. For example, if I am ignored or someone doesn’t answer an email or phone call, it often has nothing to do with me. In other words, “Don’t take things personal.”
- I was looking to Larry to validate my “dancing skills” (giving my power away) Instead, I am validating my own skills and they are “good enough.”
- I don’t have to BE the best – I just have to DO my best and trust that is enough.
When I changed my beliefs and gave myself the validation and love that I needed, everything shifted. It didn’t matter what Larry thought about my dancing, it was what I thought that was important. And the best part was that my dancing improved.
The other day I offered a friend the gift of my time. My friend declined and we agreed that perhaps another time would be more convenient. Later that day Pat asked me, “How do you feel about your friend declining your gift?” I replied, “I’m fine with the decision my friend made not to accept my offer. Actually, I feel happy that our friendship is such that my friend feels comfortable to refuse a visit and knows there will be no ill feelings on my part.”
I proceeded to share with Pat an experience I had many years ago that taught me a very important lesson about giving with “no strings attached.” Pat asked me to share this story in the blog. I was reluctant to do so at first since I am a very private person and don’t like to bring attention to myself. Pat suggested to me that the lessons I learned in this experience could be beneficial to others, so here it is.
I worked in a soup kitchen in Hartford, CT. 30 years ago one day a week. We provided and cooked meals for around 100 people. One evening in February on a snowy subzero night, I noticed one of the men had come into the building with just a light sweater on. He was wet, shivering and looked like he was on his last legs. I couldn’t believe he was out in these winter elements without a coat or jacket.
I had worn my favorite winter parka which I loved because it was the warmest parka I had ever owned. After noticing this man I just couldn’t let him to go out again at night without a jacket, so I gave him my winter parka. He was very thankful and appreciative.
About a half hour later, I saw this man wearing an old ratty jacket and the parka I had given him was gone. I couldn’t believe it! I felt terrible and betrayed. I thought, “What’s the matter with him? Is he crazy? I gave my beautiful new parka away for nothing.”
From my prospective, he had traded it and made a very poor bargain.
Later in the evening while I was thinking about this experience, I asked myself some serious questions about my giving practices.
- Did I not give this person a gift?
- Did it have strings attached?
- Do I give gifts with expectations?
- Was he to use my gift according to my wishes and ideas?
- If I “gave” him the parka then he could do what he wanted to do with it.
- It is no longer mine, it’s gone, out of my life.
One of the gifts I received was that I was able to be compassionate, generous and loving to a person I didn’t even know and give him something that was very important to me to make his life a little better.
The other lesson I learned and haven’t forgotten 30 years later is that when I give a gift, there are no expectations or strings attached. My joy is in the giving and you receiving. Thank you for taking the time to read our blog,
I am so grateful that I changed my thinking about Christmas a few months ago because it worked and I had the best Christmas in a long time. My “First Christmas” in Maui was an amazing one for many reasons. Although I missed spending Christmas with my family in Rhode Island, I felt their love and appreciation across the ocean. We did FaceTime and were able to share the Christmas Spirit with one another. Topping it all off, I received an early Christmas gift with my new beautiful grandson, River
Larry and I had a loving, peaceful day together with exchanging presents, a walk on the beach and a swim in my favorite pool. Then our friends joined us for a potluck dinner Christmas evening. We played games, laughed and had a lot of fun with the white elegant gift exchange. I am so grateful for Larry’s decision to love me and his willingness to do what I needed to do on Christmas day.
Christmas week started with me buying a black and white shirt that said “Good things are going to happen.” The next day I accompanied my friend, Kati, to the Honda dealership to buy a new car. We were there for 6 hours and then went back the next day for another 5 hours. Needless to say, we had a lot of questions! Unbeknownst to me another friend of ours, Zeriah, was also at the dealership wanting to buy a new car.
Being at the dealership for 11 hours, I wasn’t sure if I just caught the “new car” bug or Spirit was guiding me and giving me an opportunity to love myself and buy a new car! I have NEVER had a new car and quite frankly, was always satisfied with used cars (perhaps it was more about settling.) I was driving a 2002 Honda Civic and it was working just fine so I didn’t need a new car. Now, here I was seriously thinking about leasing or buying a 2016 Honda FIT. Folks, this is not like me because I am not a compulsive person, especially about something as big as this. Kati and Zeriah needed to buy new cars, because their cars had died. Zeriah bought her white new FIT on Tuesday and Kati bought her new red FIT on Wednesday.
As I said, I didn’t need a new car, it was simply that I WANTED to buy this car because I knew it would bring me joy and I would feel like a queen driving in it. I had to let go of “old beliefs” that I didn’t deserve a new car and that I was being ridiculous or crazy even considering it. Of course, I prayed about it because I wanted God’s will and Larry and I spent time together discussing it and reviewing my bills.
On Thursday, Christmas Eve, I leased a brand new Blue Honda FIT and felt absolutely great driving home in it as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt empowered, joyful and loved by the Universe. This was for sure the best Christmas present I have ever given to myself. I named her HONEY after my mother who died 50 years ago on January 1.
On Christmas day, Kati, Zariah and I parked our shiny red, white and blue FITS in our driveway. Our friends didn’t know what was going on when they pulled up and saw 3 brand new FITS parked there. I know it is God’s will because of the peace in my heart and that I’m not doubting my decision or feeling any fear. The day after Christmas I received an email from ABRAHAM (a medium) that confirmed my decision to buy a new car just because I WANTED TO.
“Your Inner Being would want you to manifest everything that you decide that you WANT. Your Inner Being would want you to know that you have value and the ability to have or be or do anything. Your Inner Being would want you to fulfill every wish and whim that you could identify.”
Love is our true nature and joy is our purpose. God intends for us to live our lives “awake” and fully alive. It is time to celebrate who we are as children of God. We are here to shine our lights into the world and I am shining my light in a brand new Honda blue FIT.
I hope you all enjoyed a Christmas filled with Love, Joy and Laughter.
I think sometimes we can get caught up in the holiday craziness of sending the right card or purchasing the perfect gift. We don’t notice the opportunity the season presents to give us an intangible gift from the heart like love, kindness, forgiveness and understanding.
We shared in last week’s blog my challenges in hosting a Christmas party on Christmas day for our Maui friends. I think by Pat and I extending love, kindness, unselfishness and flexibility to each other we managed to have a wonderful party that we both really enjoyed. We were happy to open our hearts and home to others who didn’t have family here.
My gift to Pat was to support her desire to host the party and become a happy participant. Her gift to me was to accept all the responsibilities and not put that on me. To allow me to help in a capacity where I felt comfortable and not stressed out. This worked out beautifully for both of us.
We were able to listen to each other, hear and understand each other’s feelings and because of our love we were flexible and allowed the party to become a reality and everyone benefited from it.
I don’t want you to misunderstand, I still don’t like hosting parties or other functions but for one night I was able to put my fears and attitudes aside. This makes sense because I try to live in the present, one day at a time. I really enjoyed seeing Pat be hostess, laughing and enjoying herself so much.
I offer you this gift: Look For Love Because Love Is Looking For You.
For as long as I can remember, I secretly knew that someday I would paint. I would often say to myself, “You can do that” when I saw a painting at a gallery. I bought a book years ago called, “Drawing on the Left Side of Your Brain” and never opened it, or if I did, never did anything with it.
When I moved to Maui, my friend, Kati, and I did some painting together and then I put it down. I don’t know why I stopped because I really enjoyed it. Perhaps I felt my paintings weren’t “good enough” because I didn’t know anything about drawing or painting and it felt like I was “flying by the seat of my pants.”
A few months ago, (two years later), I asked my friend, Lesta, (who is a professional artist) if I could paint with her. She said, “Yes” and we painted a picture together in her back yard under her tree. I am not exactly sure what happened to me that day, but I felt a freedom to just play and I wasn’t worried about it being perfect, nor did I compare myself with her painting. Lesta said, “Pat, you have talent.” With her support and encouragement, I left her house with a new desire to paint again.
When I returned home, I found some of my old paints that I had put away and a few canvases lying around. I started to paint and haven’t been able to stop. All I want to do is PAINT. I am amazed at what is coming out of me and onto the canvas. I put a few of my paintings on Facebook and have had lots of compliments. A friend of mine, Jack, who is a well-known artist on the Island saw my paintings and asked if they were for sale.
My friend, Sharon, and I met at the local coffee shop recently. Sharon noticed that the paintings hanging on the walls were from local artists and they were for sale. She said, “Pat, your paintings are amazing and I think you should have yours in a coffee shop.” I remember thinking, “I’ve only been painting a few months now and they are just not “good enough.”
As I continued to play and practice painting ocean scenes, I could see that they were getting better and better with each one I painted. Our home now looks like a gallery and poor Larry has to step around the paintings to open the cabinets. I have all 15 of them lined up so I can look at them and admire them.
A couple of weeks ago, I went to lunch to my favorite restaurant called, 808 Deli. I spotted the paintings by local artists on the walls and felt brave and said to the cashier, “Rachael, who is in charge of the paintings on the wall?” She said, “I am. Do you paint?” I said, “Yes, I do.” She said, “We have the month of October open. Would you want to bring your paintings in to display and sell?” I said, “YES.” I am sure my jaw dropped open with amazement and shock. It is hard to believe how easy it was because she hadn’t even seen my paintings.
As October approaches, I started to feel “uneasy” about displaying my paintings. I felt vulnerable putting myself “out there” because what if no one bought them? There are so many famous artists on the island that are really good and who was I to think mine were “good enough” to sell? I wanted to ask friends, “Do you think my paintings are “good enough?” I was ready to give my power away again by going outside of myself to get others’ opinions, rather than going within for my own.
Last night, I had a dream that I had given birth to a baby. Giving birth in dreams is very powerful and significant because it means a new idea, project, dream has just been birthed. The only problem was that I wasn’t prepared and ready for the baby’s needs when I brought it home. While in prayer, I asked myself some questions: What had just been birthed? Where & what wasn’t I prepared and ready for? What did I need to do to get prepared? Writing a new book with Larry has already been birthed so I didn’t think it was about the book. It seemed to be about the “uneasiness” I was feeling about displaying and selling my paintings. I was shown that the “hard part” of 9 months of pregnancy and the contractions were over. Now all I needed to do was to nurture and love the “baby” so it would grow to its fullest potential. My baby (painting) was in the womb for 35 years.
I NEVER criticized or thought my 4 babies weren’t “good enough” when they were born. They were perfect and I was delighted and happy that they were born. I just loved them and only saw their beauty.
While I was meditating and thinking about the dream, God showed me that I had “birthed” my paintings after being in the “womb” for over 35 years. Instead of criticizing and thinking they weren’t “good enough,” I was being invited to love, nurture and care for them. They didn’t have to be perfect and I didn’t have to compare them to other people’s paintings. All I needed to do was appreciate and love them. That afternoon, I held each one of the paintings in my hands, prayed over them with love and gave them a name. It doesn’t matter if they sell or not. What matters is that they have been birthed and I had the courage to birth them “& put them out there.” The rest is up to God.
With the grace of God, I BELIEVE
• It doesn’t matter what other people think. What matters is what I think
• It’s my approval that I need and want
• I no longer need to compete or compare myself to others (which I did most of my life)
• My paintings don’t have to be perfect or the BEST for me to feel proud of them
• I will give my “baby” the nurturing and love that it needs to grow and develop
• There is no need to hurry the process
• I will love my “creations” just as they are
• I will enjoy and relish each stage of my painting journey
• I will be enthusiastic about showing off my “baby”
What are your dreams? What are you birthing in your life? What has been birthed? What has been in the “womb” that is ready to be born or does it still need time to grow and develop? Know that your soul will guide you in the right direction. We all have gifts to be shared with the world. It takes courage and a willingness to “come out” and let your light shine. Like me, it may take years and that’s ok. It took me 7 years to birth my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” We will never be asked to birth something until we are ready for it to be born.
Are you ready to say YES and trust that Spirit will be there to guide you every step of the way? If not now, when?
Larry asked me a question while driving home in the car the other night. It was, “How do you “preserve” your relationship with yourself, while in a partnership, so that when your partner is no longer there, you will have yourself.?”
I thought it was a great question and started to think about the ways I stay in “relationship with myself” while in a partnership. I have had lots of practice, over the years, of giving my power away and losing myself in relationships by putting my partner’s needs and wants ahead of mine.
Being single and without a partner for 15 years, I felt some anxiety when I thought about starting a new relationship, even though it was the desire of my heart. It took me so many years to “find myself” and the possibility of “losing myself” in a new relationship was not in the picture. I was determined to do it differently and not give my power away as I did for so many years.
When Larry and I became partners, of course, I wanted to spend every waking minute with him. This is natural because getting to know one another is very important. I still want to spend all the time I can with him, because we enjoy each other’s company and we have fun together. We don’t know how long we will have with one another so we try to live each day to the best of our ability. Living alone for all that time and loving it, I also didn’t know how I would feel sharing my living space with another person
I am happy to say that it has been 1 ½ years that we have been partners and I still have “myself,” perhaps even more than I did before the relationship. I can truly BE myself with Larry and be as playful and silly as I want to be or as deep and spiritual as I want to be or as “fresh” as I want to be. We have a relationship that is built on trust, love and commitment. We honor and respect each other’s needs and wants. I love sharing our home together and we have learned to laugh at the little “quirks” we both have.
While in meditation, I went inside and asked myself, “What did I do to stay in relationship with myself?” Here are some of the things that I have done:
I maintained my daily spiritual discipline of prayer, meditation, journaling & daily readings.
When I felt the need to be by myself, I took a “Pat Day” and gave myself the TIME I needed to be with myself.
I continued to love, affirm, accept and appreciate myself, especially if I “blew it.”
I didn’t expect my partner to meet all of my needs all of the time. I gave myself what I needed and did what I could do for myself. For example: If I wanted flowers from the garden or from the store, I bought them for myself, rather than expecting my partner to do it all the time.
I knew what I wanted and was able to ask for what I wanted.
I was able to accept & respect a NO from my partner.
I regularly checked in with myself to see how I was feeling and then, if appropriate shared with my partner what was going on, especially if it had to do with our relationship.
I maintained my friendships with my girlfriends.
I continued with my hobbies and what I enjoyed doing.
I understood that my happiness is my responsibility and I didn’t expect my partner to make me happy. I knew it was my responsibility to take care of my needs: body, mind and spirit.
When I agreed to contribute to Pat’s blog I was completely out of my comfort zone and this is a very long stretch for me. I would like to thank those of you who have written and given me so much positive feedback and support. I really appreciate it. I have to be careful with what questions I ask Pat, because before I know it , I’ll have to write about them. The question just popped into my mind while we were driving, “How do we “preserve” our relationship with ourselves when we are in a love relationship with another person?”
I think in some of my love relationships over the years, I’ve ignored my relationship with myself and gave everything to the relationship I was in. Then when the relationship ended, I didn’t have anything to support me because I didn’t have myself. A healthy relationship encourages the partner to have a life apart from one another. For example: spending time with friends, having hobbies and interests of their own.
When we have developed a relationship with ourselves, we will want to spend some time alone. I think that’s important for each person to understand. It isn’t that we don’t love the other person or don’t want to be with them. I like my own company. I try to walk three miles every day and I value that time alone. When I’m driving, I don’t use the radio because I value that time alone with myself. I believe that if the relationship is secure and there is trust, each would encourage and support the other in the personal relationship they have with themselves.
I believe that one of the most important ways to maintain your relationship with yourself is to continue to love yourself. I’m learning how to accept and value myself. I think one of the most important things I’ve done was to start “believing” the wonderful things Pat is constantly telling me about myself. For example: “You can do anything you put your mind to. You are lovable, kind, patient, fun to be with and a magnificent person and vessel of love.” I always found it extremely difficult to accept compliments and accolades from others. Not only am I learning to accept them from Pat, but I’m beginning to believe them about myself.
Another way I’m valuing myself is by allowing myself to just “BE” and RELAX. I’m not listening to my “busy mind” telling me I have to do this or that all the time. I work especially hard to keep my stress level at 0. I allow myself to go with the flow, keeping a schedule that is very flexible. Before, if I made plans to do something, “come hell or high water” I would do what I had planned or promised because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone or hurt their feelings if I had to change plans. Today, I am able to say NO and change plans if I need to because I know that is valuing and loving myself.
I value and claim my “happiness” because I am worthy and deserve it. I am grateful and appreciate all of the wonderful gifts I have created on this beautiful Island Maui. I am taking credit for making good decisions.
I encourage you to be good to yourself, forgive yourself, don’t criticize or blame yourself, do things “YOU” like to do, be flexible, kind and patient with yourself and, accept gifts and compliments from others. Who knows, you may become your own best friend. LOVE IN YOUR HEART WASN’T PUT THERE TO STAY. LOVE IS NOT LOVE TILL YOU GIVE IT AWAY.
“My faith feeds me like the rain and the sun nourishing flowers. I call on faith in all my life experiences and yield a beautiful bouquet of experiences. I dig into my faith by looking beyond appearances that may seem limiting. My faith leads me to explore new possibilities. I plant positive thoughts in my mind, then let go. I leave the “when” and “how” up to God, and trust in divine order. I nourish my garden of faith by connecting with God in this moment. I envision myself growing in the light of Spirit. I adapt to life’s changes with ease. Just as the gardener reaps a bountiful harvest, I receive abundant blessings. I trust in God and see beauty everywhere.” Daily Word June 11, 2015
My faith is a gift from God that I cherish and am grateful for. It is my faith that allowed me to move 5,000 miles away from my family and friends to live on Maui. It is my faith that has carried me through many trials and made me the woman I am today. It is my faith that gave me the courage to write and publish my book. I stepped out in faith and followed my heart knowing I would meet my soulmate on Maui. Faith will continue to lead me on to new possibilities and adventures, for this I am certain.
I shared in my blog last week about meeting Dana at the Fairmont Hotel pool and our “Divine Connection.” Since then we have been in daily communication either by phone or text. She’s shared some of her experiences since returning home that I would like to share with you. We never know what the impact will be when we “shine our light” in another person’s life. It could just be a conversation, a smile or a kind deed that has lasting effects.
I just got off the phone with Dana and she shared her personal experience of reading “Simply a Woman of Faith” with me. When she read Chapter 5 Messages from Heaven – How God speaks through Songs she was blown away and said she almost felt giddy. For those of you who haven’t read my book, this chapter is about my mother “Honey” and her death when I was 20 years old. My mother died in front of me in the church on my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary.
Dana wrote, “Pat, I didn’t want to put your book down when I read this chapter. Although the yard sale stories in the first chapter were fun and I enjoyed them, this chapter really spoke to me and I thought this woman has had hardships and tragedy and she is REAL. I saw you living your faith through difficult times. My best girlfriend (since kindergarten) is also named “Honey.” What is even more interesting is that her mother’s name was “Honey” too. She was like a mother to me and she was a big part of my faith journey. As a teenager (when my friends were in the basement having a party), I was in the kitchen talking to her mother about God. What I remember is that she shared her faith and she shined her light. She is just like you Pat. Her eyes sparkled, she was full of joy and she laughed a lot.” After hearing this, I knew it was destiny that Dana and I met at the pool.
When I asked Dana what she liked best about reading my book she said, “It was your ongoing, natural dialogue with God. It showed me a different kind of relationship with God that I could have if I wanted one, and I do. It was the simplicity of your relationship with God that I was particularly drawn to because you talk to God about everything. It’s like you know you have God on your side. I need to practice what I have just learned because I don’t know how to talk to God on a regular basis like you do. Since meeting you only a week ago, I have a different mindset about my spiritual growth and I am open to allowing myself to be guided by God in what to do next in my life.” She also enjoyed the moped story in Chapter IX God is my Travel Agent – A Calling to Bermuda. She said, “When you screamed FU God and threw your moped to the ground, I knew you were real.”
Probably like most of you, I don’t always know what kind of an impact my presence and sharing my life and light has on people’s lives and how far-reaching it may go to impact others’ lives. Probably just as well because I might get a big head! So I am grateful to Dana for sharing how her life is changing and how she is now being used to share her light with her clients and students in her yoga classes. It delights me that she is paying it forward.
I met Dana for a beach walk on the day she left to go back home. She bought another one of my books and didn’t know who she was going to give it to. We laughed and both knew she would be led to give it to the right and perfect person. It didn’t take her long to know who that was. For example, she shared with me about a recent therapy session she had with one of her clients.
“My client is a young woman with a strong desire to find her soulmate, just like you did. She considers herself to be a person of very strong faith, but felt anxious. Remembering your book, I encouraged her to use her faith as her guide when trying to find this man. In fact, I was led to give her your book! I told her that I met the author who deepened her own relationship with God on her journey to find a life partner. Little does the reader know that you actually did find your soulmate after writing the book, Pat. You’ve got a sequel!” The woman was so excited about the book when Dana gave it to her and said, “My mother would love this book also and I’m going to buy her one.” Upon leaving the client commented, “You look different, Dana, you seem very spiritually inspired.” She was right!
In several of her yoga classes this week, Dana told her students about meeting me and reading my book. She laughed and said, “I shared with my students that I had been praying for a “guru” to inspire me spiritually. I thought that I had met him at a conference that I attended last month. But no he’s not the one. Pat is the REAL one that I know God brought into my life. The theme of our classes was about God/Divine being inside of us.”
This whole experience has been exciting for me and has shown me how important it is to just BE me and SHINE. I have a small plaque in my bedroom that I have had since moving to Maui.
“SHINE – You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead, they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men and women, that they may see your good works and praise our Father in heaven.”
As I left the house to go to water aerobics at the Fairmont Hotel, Larry said to me, “Sweetheart, don’t forget to LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE today.” I smiled and said, “Okay.” I have been going to the hotel at least twice a week and the instructors know me by name.
I was a few minutes late for the class that had already started. About 10 minutes into the class, a woman came to the edge of the pool and asked if she could join us. Candace said, “Sure, come on in.” The women said, “I was eating my breakfast (on the patio overlooking the pool) with my husband and saw you all bobbing around. I put down my coffee and said to my husband, “Do you mind if I join the women?” He said, “Of course not.”
When the class was over, I stayed in the pool to play around for a while. The woman who joined us late also stuck around and we started to chat. She said, “I love your turtle necklace.” She asked where I was from and I told her Maui. She wanted to know how I got here and the rest is history! I seized the opportunity to let my light shine. Dana & I had a lot in common. She was a yoga teacher and psychologist and she was also from the East Coast. She was with her husband on a business trip and they had just arrived at the hotel the night before.
I told her about my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” and that was the reason I was living in Maui. I don’t remember all that I shared with her but it just poured out of me and we became “fast friends.” I told her that I followed my heart and I knew I was going to meet my soul mate on Maui. She was intrigued by our “love story” and wanted to know more.
She said, “I have to read your book and I want to read it while I’m here. Where can I get it?” She was so excited about it and said, “I will put it in my office so my patients can read it and I will tell my psychologists friends all about you and your book. I recently told God I need a mentor to inspire me.”
As we laughed and shared our lives together she said, “I spotted your pink hat with the flower in the pool and saw that you came late for class so I wasn’t afraid to ask to join the class.” I burst out laughing when she said, “I thought you were a rich lady and lived up in one of the luxurious penthouses here.” Can you imagine that? The slogans “Fake it until you make it and Act as if” were really working in my life.
Her husband walked by the pool and I am sure he wondered who his wife’s new friend was. She introduced me to him and said, “Honey, this is Pat, she is going to change my life.” He smiled and said, “If she is going to change your life, I’m sure mine is going to change too.”
We exchanged telephone numbers and I promised to bring her my book the next day. I received a text from her in the morning that read, “Pat, my thinking has already changed because of meeting you. I am looking for God moment by moment.”
I met Dana the next evening for a drink in the lounge and gave her my book. She was thrilled and said, “I told the other women in the group here that I was meeting “my guru” for a drink before the scheduled cocktail part with the company.” As we were leaving, we walked by her husband’s company’s cocktail party. Dana & her husband invited me to have some cocktails with them and I said, “Yes.” She introduced me to the other women and we all laughed that I was the “guru” that she was meeting.
Dana wrote to me and agreed to have me put her words in the blog.
“I cannot really explain it, but when we started to speak I knew immediately that Pat “got it.” She had deep wisdom which I was craving. She had a joy, faith and satisfaction for which I was longing for and I knew I would be learning from her in some way. The greatest thing I received from her (and Larry) is that God is inside of me and I need to go within to find my path, my gifts and my satisfaction.
Just before meeting Pat I knew it was time to let go of old patterns of thinking, old stories of my life, and negative tapes. I want to be aware of God in my everyday life and retrain my mind to enjoy the wonderful life I have. Pat shared that her and Larry begin their day with affirmations and continues them throughout the day. There are so many things I know I will learn from this special woman with whom I have only spent a few hours.
Thank you Pat for letting God’s radiant light shine through you to me. I don’t know what prompted me to jump into the pool that day except to say it must be part of a greater plan. I am open and willing to see what’s in store for me. I know my life has already changed and I am excited to see what’s next.”
We never know when God is going to use us to inspire and BE the light for another person. When we “show up” with the intention of being a vessel of love, miracles happen and lives are changed. I let my light shine by living in JOY. Joy expresses itself first as a smile, grows into laughter, and expands into radiance, which shines from within. I let my light shine by following my heart and listening to my hearts calling. My heart is overflowing with joy and love because Maui is the energy of love that I am living in.
Thank you Larry for reminding me to LET MY LIGHT SHINE before I left the house. Thank you God for allowing me to BE your presence & light in this world and to share my divine gifts. Thank you Dana for your openness and the opportunity to let my light shine. My life has changed because of meeting Dana and I know we will continue to be friends and inspire one another.
Whether you know it or not, you are already there. YOU ARE THE STAR OF YOUR BEING. All you have to do is let your light shine.
Something for you to think about: Where did I shine my light this past week?
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- I am perfectly imperfect & loved
- Byron Katie and loving what is
- What is the voice in your head saying?
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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