Isn’t it wonderful when we see our growth and how far we have come? It has taken me a long time to get there. There was a time when I was filled with fear and it was easier to see where I needed to grow and change. Can you relate?
For many years, I criticized, competed, and compared myself to others and felt less than and unworthy. Through the grace of God and deep inner healing, I don’t do that anymore and it feels really good. I will always be evolving to become my highest and best self and I will be triggered at times. The good news is that I’m aware of when my ego is trying to run the show and I shift the energy and get back into alignment with my truth.
Today, I feel grateful, peaceful, happy, and light. I feel this lightness because I’m trusting Spirit is in control of my life and that everything I need is provided for when I need it. In other words, I know God has my back and is working on my behalf behind the scene.
I know what I can control and what I can’t control. I know my happiness comes from within and is not dependent on other people or outside events. I don’t watch the news as it depresses and confuses me. If there is something important that I need to know, I will know it.
I shared with a friend this week that my light is shining brighter than it ever has been. It gives me such joy to smile (under my mask) and say good morning to everyone on my morning walk on the ocean. I overheard someone say, “You can tell if someone’s eyes are smiling.”
I often introduce myself and ask their names. They remember me as “Pat with the hat.” Some people are surprised when I greet them and look away or look down. Some respond and seem genuinely pleased to be greeted and seen.
A few weeks ago, while walking on the beach I spotted a man sitting in his chair. I sensed there was something very special about him as he exuded peace and serenity. He reminded me of the “laughing Buddha.” I was compelled to walk over and introduce myself to him. There was an instant recognition and soul connection. We shared what bought us to Maui and how much we loved it. He said, “I’m staying with friends and looking for a place to rent.” We exchanged telephone numbers and I said, “I will call you if I hear of anything.” We began texting each other inspirational messages.
Whenever we see one another on the beach, we share the energy of love. I will never forget what he said to me this week as we parted. With his hands folded in prayer, he said, “I see you; I hear you; I feel you and I love you.” Wow, to be seen by someone is what we all want and crave.
He also shared another gem that I love. He said, “Whenever I see someone with “good fortune,” I say to myself, “good fortune” and then place it in my basket and in no time my basket is filled. It can be anything: a beautiful home, a car, a successful business, wealth, etc.
Instead of feeling jealous if someone has something I want, I reach out my hand and say, “good fortune” and then literally place it in my (imaginary) basket in front of me. It works as my basket is filled immediately.
I encourage you to see your growth and how far you have come. Instead of criticizing, competing and comparing, how about you celebrate and love yourself. Remember, “I see you; I hear you; I feel you and I love you.”
About 10 years ago, I read a powerful book called “Zero Limits” by Ihaleakala Hew Len and Joe Vitale. It is about Ho’oponopono. The word “ho’o” means “cause” in Hawaiian, while “ponopono” means “perfection”. The term “ho’oponopono” can be translated as “correcting a mistake” or “making it right”.
Ho’oponopono consists of four main phrases: There are four steps: repentance, forgiveness, love, and gratitude. Simply repeating these words can trigger the release of blockages, negative memories, and traumas so that you can take more control over your own body and life.
The purpose of ho’oponopono is to seek a cure for these problems through forgiveness. Not necessarily the forgiveness of others, but especially that of oneself. Here are the words:
1. I’m sorry
2. Please forgive me
3. I love you
4. I am grateful
Ho’oponopono is a way to purify one’s body and get rid of bad memories or feelings that negatively are held in the mind. This has been my mantra every night as I fall asleep for many years.
Ho’oponopono acts as a cleansing, neutralizing memories of suffering, and uncomfortable sensations. I truly believe by repeating this mantra, I am experiencing deep healing.
Every day last week I was led to listen to a Ho’oponopono Song on Utube. I was surprised by the depth of my feelings. I cried as I listened to the words and allowed my healing to go even deeper through self-forgiveness.
Spirit showed me how much I have pushed myself over the years because I didn’t feel good enough and had to prove myself to feel deserving and worthy. I looked outside of myself for answers, rather than going within. I looked to others to validate and approve of me, rather than validating myself.
While listening to the words of Ho’oponopono and allowing them to penetrate by being, I felt a deeper compassion and appreciation for myself. I was transported to a place of love, peace and gratitude.
As I reflected on my past life experiences, I realized that I had to make a choice to become either bitter or better. Through the grace of God, and my willingness to forgive, I chose to become better.
Rather than blaming my parents, bad luck or life, I was able to take responsibility for myself and create a beautiful life. Gratitude is the answer if I want to be happy. There is always something to be grateful for, no matter what circumstances I find myself in.
Today I am celebrating the woman I have become. I am a woman giving birth to myself. I will continue to evolve, grow, heal, forgive, love and accept whatever comes my way.
Happy Thanksgiving friends and family. Gratitude provides us with opportunities to express our appreciation for all the gifts we receive daily. By CHOOSING an attitude of gratitude, we experience a life filled with love, peace, joy, and happiness.
Spirit is always giving us opportunities to grow and evolve, whether it be in personal relationships with family and friends, work relationships, or global and political issues we have no control over. It’s a conscious decision to live in gratitude when we want to complain about situations that we have no control over.
We can also CHOOSE to live in fear or love abundance, or lack. Do we focus on what’s missing in our lives or are we grateful for all that we have? This is not the year to get everything we want. This is the year to appreciate everything we have.
If there was ever a time in history to live in the present moment, it is NOW. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to bring. We are invited to let go of control and the need to know what’s ahead and to trust Spirit that we and our families are safe, guided, and protected.
I had a few experiences this week that brought up feelings that I needed to feel; disappointment, sadness, and anger. Being far away from my children and grandchildren on holidays brings up sadness, especially since it will be 2 years before I see them again because of COVID. In another situation, I felt disappointed and angry when a friend said something hurtful and inappropriate.
For many years, I took things personally. Even though I knew better, I did it anyway. I blamed myself for another’s inappropriate behavior and disrespect. I thought I did something wrong when someone ignored me or didn’t listen to what I needed.
I journaled and allowed myself to feel all my feelings until I was on the “other side.” Once I felt all my feelings and let them go, I wrote a 2-page gratitude list for everything I was grateful for to move the energy.
What I know today is that it’s not about me. When another person behaves inappropriately, it’s about them. Their behavior shows their character flaws, not mine. Whatever they do and say gets filtered through their lens or whatever they are going through at the moment, which is not about me. They may be going through something difficult and may not be themselves.
Again, I had a CHOICE to judge my friend for her remark, which ego would love me to do or send her love and compassion. Whenever I judge another person, I’m cooperating with ego whose intention is to make me feel separate and superior to others. When in truth, we are all connected through the energy and power of Love.
Rather than blaming, shaming, being resentful, making her wrong and me right, I will pray for her and CHOOSE love and compassion. This feels so much better.
What are you CHOOSING today? CHOOSE Love and gratitude if you want to experience peace, joy, and happiness.
It’s my birthday week and I love to celebrate with some kind of fun adventure. A few years ago, I parasailed with my friend, Margie, and it was awesome. Another year, I paraglided over the mountains on Maui, which was breathtaking.
This year I decided to take a four-hour snorkeling trip with SeaFire Snorkeling Adventures to Molokini. It was the best time to go as the tourists are not here and few boats are in the ocean. Molokini is a crater in the middle of the ocean that was formed from a volcano eruption. I swam with the turtles and saw fish in every color of the rainbow. The water was crystal clear blue and the coral was beautiful. It felt like I was in an ocean of Love.
Although I loved the snorkeling adventure, what was most memorable was the kindness and LOVE I received from one of the staff members named, Kelly. She truly was my angel and I knew I was in good hands with Captain Burns. Before we started to snorkel, they instructed us to stay with your buddy. There were several couples on board and I was all by myself, and probably the oldest one on the boat!
Years ago, I didn’t go to a restaurant alone because I was concerned people would think I didn’t have any friends. I certainly have grown and felt quite comfortable being by myself. I was happy to be alone to enjoy the ocean and nature around me.
I hadn’t been snorkeling in several years and rehabbing from a broken shoulder the last 3 ½ months made me nervous as it got closer to jumping into the ocean. What was I thinking? I informed Kelly about my situation and she said, “No problem, I will be your buddy and help you. You can use a noodle.”
I was the last person off the boat. Kelly stayed and helped me get my fins on and get down the ladder safely. The current was a bit strong and she could tell I was scared. She asked, “Would you like to hold onto my board with the rope and I can pull you?” I quickly said, “Yes.”
I stayed with her for quite a while holding tightly to the board and my noodle until I was relaxed and comfortable on my own. She then swam away and I kept her board with me. She kept checking on me making sure I was safe.
When I returned home, I laughed out loud when I thought about what I must have looked like. I was the only one snorkeling with an orange noodle and holding on to the staff’s board. The good news is that I didn’t care what I looked like or what anyone thought of me. That is growth!
This reminds me of how God gives us opportunities to step out in faith and invites us into deep waters and places where we have never been before. Of course, it’s scary at first until we relax and know we are safe and not alone. We are never alone. We are ONE with God.
There were several things I learned from my adventure.
- I asked for help.
- I didn’t feel ashamed or weak that I needed help.
- I knew what I needed to feel safe.
- I allowed Kelly to share her love with me.
- I didn’t care what I looked like or what others thought of me.
- I received the support I needed by being vulnerable and open.
- I am never alone and can trust God is always with me.
As I was leaving the boat, I thanked Kelly and told her she was my angel. She smiled and said, “Thank you, I love helping people. Can I hug you?” It was a great way to celebrate my birthday.
WITH FAITH, I FIRST BELIEVE, THEN I SEE
“Some say seeing is believing, but my spiritual self first believes, then sees. Faith does not require that I know all the steps before I begin my journey. I pray with faith, and then open my mind and heart to guidance. My faith is confirmed every day. I follow through on my guidance. As I am led, I act; I put my feet under my prayers. First I believe, and then I see.” Daily Word
As I pondered these words from the Daily Word, I thought about my own faith life and connection to Source. Someone I didn’t know very well surprised me by saying, “Pat is an amazing manifestor and always gets what she wants.” I don’t agree that I always get what I want, because I don’t. I do get what I need. What I agree with is that I do know how to manifest because I FIRST BELIEVE, THEN I SEE.
As I have shared in other blogs, my passion is to paint and I love to paint ocean scenes. I really don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m allowing my paintings to come from within and have fun. I wanted to find a teacher that would teach me some techniques and that I could afford. Here is an example of how I manifested the perfect painting teacher this week.
Just the day before I manifested the teacher, I was sharing with a friend that I wanted to find a painting teacher. We both agreed that the teacher would “show up.” I BELIEVED that the teacher would show up and was quite happy when she “showed up” the very next day.
Larry and I went out to lunch with our friends, Carol and John, and afterwards stopped to browse in one of the shops in Lahaina. It was a lovely little shop with gifts and beautiful paintings. As I was leaving the shop, I noticed some small paintings with easels on the shelf. I said to the clerk, “I love how the artist painted the easels.” She smiled and said, “I am the artist.” Of course, that opened up the conversation. I said, “Do you give lessons and what do you charge?” She said, “Yes, I do. My specialty is seascapes and I teach technique.” I knew instantly that my teacher had “showed up.” I had my first painting lesson this week and, although, I felt a little overwhelmed by all I didn’t know, I know this is my next step and I am ready for it.
I don’t know why it is easy for me to BELEIVE before SEEING. Perhaps it is because I have been practicing for so many years and I have experienced so many miracles and answered prayers. I have learned to step out in faith and Let Go and Let God Be God in me. I have given up self-reliance, having to be in control and be in charge. I know that I don’t have to know everything and do everything. I believe God is present and guiding me every step of the way.
It hasn’t always been easy for me to BELIEVE before SEEING my manifestation, especially if I had to wait for something I really wanted for a long time. I prayed and waited for Larry for 15 years and was impatient and angry at times when it took so long for him to “show up.” I learned to trust God’s plan and perfect timing in my life. I reminded myself that things would work out for my highest good at the right time and the right way. An important key is thanking God BEFORE what I am asking for “shows up.” For example, I said, “Thank you God for the perfect and right soul mate who is here now.”
It is more difficult to BELIEVE before SEEING when my loved ones or friends are suffering (especially for a long time) and there is nothing I can do but pray for them and love them. My faith is tested, as well as strengthened when I CHOOSE to believe and trust God that all is well and that it is their journey to travel. Life is a mystery and there is much that I don’t understand that things happen the way they do. Perhaps that is what the saying “Live and Let Live” means.
Growing up with a Catholic influence, my faith consisted mostly of obeying rules. I didn’t think about it much, all I had to do was to obey the Ten Commandments and the church laws and I was alright. It seems like I wasn’t accepting responsibility for my life because I was allowing the church to do that for me.
Although I don’t agree with some of the doctrines of the church, I am grateful for a couple of priests who supported and encouraged me to think for myself on my spiritual journey and I would not be where I am today spiritually without them. As the years rolled by I slowly began to move in a new direction. Special people came into my life that were on different spiritual paths, more personal, more meaningful. I started reading books by Gary Zukav, Wayne Dyer, Alan Cohen and Eckhart Tolle, etc.
I see things so differently now, I fully accept responsibility for my relationship with my God, who is not somewhere out “there” waiting to punish me if I don’t live up to his rules. My God is a God of “LOVE” which resides in me and in every person. Anita Moorjani in, her book “Dying To Be Me, ” shares from the other side, “I became aware that we’re all connected. Everything belongs to an infinite Whole. I was intricately, inseparably enmeshed with all of life. We’re all facets of that unity-we’re all One, and each of us has an effect on the collective Whole.”
I didn’t manifest very often because I didn’t understand what it was about. In difficult times, I would ask for God’s help, yet it never really felt like I received any help. When my 21 year- marriage fell apart, I was very angry with God for many years. I felt like, if this is what happens to me when I ask for your help, I can do better on my own.
Now I am living with one of the great manifestors. I was a bit skeptical at first but all you have to do is see Pat in action and you cannot deny her ability to practice her faith in a very real way. When she wants something she just puts it out there and sooner or later she receives her request. She manifested our relationship, the house we live in, the joy and happiness we enjoy and even parking spaces.
I have to admit that Pat has convinced me to try to BELIEVE before I SEE. I find myself getting parking spaces all the time just by asking, being grateful and expecting the parking space to be there. I look forward every day to God’s little surprises.
Pat and I are practicing and supporting one another when we think about our financial future. We have heard of people who are millionaires and still struggle with not having enough money because they are fearful they will run out of resources before they die. I wonder if most or all people struggle with this “not enough money syndrome.” I know we do at times, especially when an unexpected bill comes in. When we become fearful at these times, we remind one another to live in the moment because all we have is NOW. The future is not here until it becomes NOW.
The opportunity for all of us is to live in the moment and believe that the energy and light of love will guide and take care of all of our needs in each and every moment. Our faith and trust enable us to believe and expect that whatever happens, we will be sustained in the moment.
For many years, it has been my belief that God guides us through open and closed doors. When I don’t know what’s best for me, I pray that God open or close the door. It always works- even though I may not like it at first!
I wasn’t expecting God to close the door in my face on Monday as I prepared to travel back home to Maui. I was all dressed and packed at 6 a.m. when I received a phone call from my friend, Ruth, who was already at the airport traveling to Maui. She said, “Pat, do you know the airport is closed due to weather conditions? I was able to get a flight out tomorrow.” I quickly opened my email and sure enough, my flight had been cancelled and was rescheduled for 5 days later. I thought I was seeing things because I had never heard of rescheduling a flight for 5 days later. I tried to call the airlines, but there were so many cancellations they weren’t answering the phones.
Everything that I have been teaching and practicing “kicked in” and I immediately went inside, surrendered to “what is” and prayed, “Okay, God, what do you want me to do?” I knew I had a choice. I could complain and moan or I could trust and thank God that I attracted this into my life for my highest good and there was a reason for the closed door. I chose to be grateful and trusted good would come from the closed door.
I called my best friend, Carole, and asked if I could stay at her house for a few days. She immediately said, “Yes.” I called another friend, Glenn, and left a message asking if he could drive me to Carole’s house that morning because I didn’t have a car. He called me back and said, “Yes, I have time this morning and I would be happy to drive you to Carole’s. What is interesting, Pat, is that last week when I looked at my schedule 3 or 4 times for the coming week, I knew I had this morning free and didn’t schedule anything in it.”
Glen picked me up a short time later and off we went to Carole’s house. On the way to Carole’s house, Glen asked if I would like to see his new home. Of course, I said, “Yes.” His beautiful honey colored cat greeted us at the door. I didn’t think much of it until he called her by name. Her name was “Honey.” My mother’s name was “Honey.”
My mother died on January 1st 48 years ago. There is a chapter in my book about my mother and how she “shows up” for me when I most need to feel her presence. Glenn looked at me, as the tears flowed down my cheeks, and we both knew “Honey” was “showing up” through his beautiful cat. My mother loved cats.
On New Year’s Day, I said to my daughter, Mary, “I wonder how my mother will “show up” for me today. A few hours later, I met my friend, Amy, at Starbucks and I ordered us both something to drink. As I was leaving the counter, the clerk handed me a small package of “Honey.” I gasped because I knew my mother was “showing up” for me. When we are open to signs from our loved ones who have passed on, they will show up.
Even though the weather outside was 1 degree when I arrived at Carole’s house, the warmth and love I received from Carole and her family was exactly what I needed. I was treated like a queen, my bath was drawn for me in the evening and coffee was served to me each morning as I prayed and meditated. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was because of all that I had processed the past 2 weeks and how I needed to rest and do nothing. Carole lives on a beautiful lake and just sitting and looking out the window every morning brought me deep peace. We get what we need, even when we don’t know we need it!
I had sent an email to the women who attended my retreat about my cancelled flight. Several of the women contacted me inviting me to stay with them. Since I didn’t have a car to get around, one of the women even offered to be my chauffer for the week. Again, I felt such love. My friend, Carrie Ann invited me to stay at her home a couple of days and then drive me to the airport at 5 a.m. on Saturday. Now that is love.
As I shared in the beginning, I knew in my spirit that there was a reason why my flight was cancelled for 5 days. I found out WHY the day before I was scheduled to leave when I ran into an old friend that I hadn’t seen in years. She opened up to me that she was at her lowest point and hadn’t shared her pain with anyone. She was feeling alone and quite distraught. I was able to listen and love her right where she was. I told her about my flight cancellation and that I knew the reason for it was that I could be there for her. It’s all good and it’s all God.
I thank God for all the love and healing I received while in Rhode Island. As I open my heart to receive, I am able to give more to others. Mother Maui welcomed me home with open arms. My friend, Karen, who stayed in my Ohana while I was in Rhode Island greeted me at the airport with a beautiful Lei and chicken soup and salad.
I am Open and Available to Receive my Good – Daily Word, January 10
An accident, a distressing diagnosis, a job loss (plane cancellation) – these are situations many of us would deem unfortunate or even disastrous. Yet, if we stay open and available to a good outcome, we find great blessings ready and waiting for us to receive. Today I am willing to see new possibilities unfold from seeming difficulty. In acceptance on my humanity, I allow myself to grieve any loss as I clear inner space to receive my good. I am restored as I open to God’s abundance. Life invites me to grow, and I am open and available to the manifestation of God’s abundant blessings at all times. As life unfolds, I look for the good in every experience.
It’s hard to believe it is already the middle of December and we will be starting a new year in a few weeks. I don’t know about you, but time is going so fast and sometimes I can’t even remember what I did the day before. This time of the year can be stressful with all the added commitments and things that need to get done that we can lose our peace – if we allow it and let it. It is our choice. This season is about love and preparing our hearts to receive the Christ presence in a deeper way.
I remind myself what is important to me and that I am responsible for the peace and pace that I bring to my life. For me, it is about being aware and living consciously in every moment. It is about loving me and knowing what I need to do for myself. I am becoming more and more aware of where and who I spend my time with. For example, I am saying NO to others when they ask to get together or ask me to do something when it doesn’t feel right inside. It is not selfish, but self-care. There was a time in my life that I couldn’t do that because I felt guilty and responsible for others feelings and didn’t want to hurt them. I heard God say to me, “What about loving you and are you hurting yourself by saying yes?” My prayer for you is that you will go inside and live consciously in every moment. As we learn to truly love ourselves, we will know how to love others.
Sometimes my life feels like a “soap opera” with God. One of my readers told me how she looks forward to Wednesdays to receive my blog to see what miracles and adventures Pat had with God that week. God always “shows up” and so do I.
I spent quite a bit of time with my grandmother when I was growing up and loved it. I remember lying on the couch on Saturday nights (while she combed my hair) and watching “The Lawrence Welk Show.” She also watched the soap opera,“As the World Turns” every day at 1:00 p.m. and I sometimes watched that with her. All I can remember is the actress “Erica.” I am really dating myself and wonder how many of you remember these shows?
Stay tuned for this week’s soap opera with God. Here we go.
Last week one of the men at the dance community bought my book for his niece and said, “I think it will help her.” When I saw him this week at the dance, he came right up to me and said, “I read your book.” I said, “How did you like it?” He said, “I liked it.” “Hmmm, what did he like about it?” I wondered to myself. When I danced with him later in the evening, I was curious and couldn’t keep my mouth shut and said, “What did you get from my book?” He looked at me rather succinctly and said, “GOD.” That was it, no more, no less. Nobody has ever answered like that before. I chuckled to myself and thought “That was the best answer I could have ever received” because all there is, is GOD. He was right on target and a man of few words.
I shared several weeks ago how I hurt my back and all the good that had already come from it. I found a wonderful chiropractor to help me heal and I met his wife Dr. Kim, who is also a chiropractor and the author of, “The Power to Heal Yourself.” It was Dr. Kim who informed me that her patient invited her to a book signing and it was my book they were reading. The book club is this Sunday and I have been invited to join them.
I felt led to get to know Dr. Kim and asked her to go out for lunch. We have already been out twice and she is such a delight and woman of faith. In fact, we are planning to do a retreat together in April of next year. How much better can it get than this?
I was thrilled and honored when Dr. Kim wanted to buy 10 of my books as gifts for her friends and family. I brought the books with me when we met for lunch today. I was signing 3 of my books at the table while we waited for the food to come. It was a Korean-Chinese restaurant and the waitress and Dr. Kim spoke Korean. Of course, I couldn’t understand a word they were saying. The waitress asked Dr. Kim, “How come there are 3 books on the table?” Dr. Kim explained that I wrote the book and I was signing them for her friends and family. The waitress asked to look at one of the books. She looked through it quickly and said, “Can I buy one of the books?” Of course, I said yes and a couple of minutes later she was back with the money.
I love living and BEING in the flow. I am grateful for all the good and people who have showed up in my life. I never know what the day is going to bring, but my eyes and heart are open to miracles, adventure and whatever else “shows up.” I know that I attract everything into my life for my highest good and for my soul to grow. I also know that God has me covered!
Alan Cohen writes, “There are no accidents. Coincidences are just miracles to which God wishes to remain anonymous. Chance plays no part in God’s plan. Everything and everyone shows up in your life at the invitation of your thoughts and intentions. Cohen, Wisdom Heart, 2002Sometime
I want to wish you all peace and joy as you prepare your hearts this season for love.
|I am in Rhode Island for the month of July, so I decided to send you something from my book, Simply a Woman of Faith. This chapter is called “God is my travel agent.” Enjoy!Thank you God, I know this is going to be a magnificent week… and the sun will come out. I woke up bright and early the next day. The rain had finally stopped, but no sunshine yet. Well, soon, I knew the sun would shine. I couldn’t wait to rent a moped and tour the island remembering how it felt with the wind blowing on my face those thirty years ago. Riding a moped in Bermuda, at seventeen years old seemed easy. I told myself it would come back to me, just like riding a bike.
I called the moped shop the next day and asked if they would deliver a moped to the hotel. It didn’t take them long to arrive at my doorstep. When the man arrived with my moped, he looked me over and asked doubtfully, “Lady, have you ever ridden a moped before?” “Sure, when I came here thirty years ago.” I smugly replied. He smiled and said, “Let’s see what you remember.” He showed me the basics in the parking lot – how to turn, stop, speed up and how to turn it off. It’s always a sign that I’m nervous when my hands sweat – and they were sweating profusely. I tried to act confident, but he could see the panic in my eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay? I can stay while you practice in the parking lot.” “I’d love your help,” I answered.
He patiently watched me as I tried to maneuver the bike around. The bike jerked when I stopped and I almost went into the wall. I kept practicing going around and around until I felt confident and ready to ride on my own. “If you have any problems, call me for help.” I thanked him as he opened the door of his truck and waved and drove off. Pat, you can do this. Just take your time, don’t get nervous. You did it when you were seventeen; you can do it now. I placed the helmet gently on my head, started up the bike and began my tour of the island. I concentrated on staying on the opposite side of the street, knowing it would be easy to forget and end up in the wrong lane. Smooth sailing until I hit the traffic in downtown Bermuda. Well, I didn’t literally hit it! Oh my God, I’m having a panic attack. I can’t breathe. I could hardly see through the tears burning my eyes. My heart pounded a mile a minute and my hands clutched tightly on the gears. I need help God or I’m going to get myself killed. What the hell am I doing in the middle of the traffic at lunch hour?
I managed to get the moped to the side of the street and breathed a sigh of relief. I had to calm myself down and pull myself together. God sent me an angel. A policeman sitting on the side of the street saw how pale I was, all the color drained from my face. “Do you need help?” he asked.I blurted out, “Please help me get out of this traffic before I cause an accident.” He smiled and motioned me to follow him. He stayed with me for quite awhile until I felt comfortable on the moped and in traffic. I just needed a little practice, I told myself.I felt proud of myself that I made it home safely and in one piece.
The next day the pouring rain and threatening black skies kept me inside all day. I made the best of it and cuddled up in front of the window, leisurely reading my Danielle Steel novel, sipping a hot flavorful mug of chai. As I listened to the weather station on the radio every hour on the hour, my enthusiasm faltered. God, why did you bring me to this beautiful paradise only to wilt in the rain and stormy weather? I don’t understand. Please help me to trust you.
|The next day the sun peeked through the clouds. Finally, the weather appeared to be turning. With new found confidence in my moped skills and my trusty map in my pocket, I jumped on my moped and began anew to tour the island. Yes I can do this, smooth sailing, I knew I would remember. Then, without any warning, my bike stalled on the side of the road. Panic struck. What am I going to do now? I turned the key slowly to see if I could get it started. The bike just wouldn’t start no matter what I did. I looked around the desolate stretch of road- no one in sight to ask for help. I sat there for awhile completely paralyzed and void of any intelligible thought. Fear gripped me in the pit of my stomach as the sweat poured down my forehead. You should never have come here alone. What if someone robs you? Or kidnaps you? People take advantage of stranded women all the time. How could you be so stupid as to put yourself in this situation.
As I sat there wondering what to do next, a man drove by on his moped and saw me sitting there. God sent another angel to help.”What’s wrong?” “My moped stalled and I can’t get it started,” I replied. “Let me see what I can do.” In a second he came up with the diagnosis. “Your gas tank is empty.” “Gas tank empty?” I hadn’t even asked the man who delivered the moped where the gas tank was. I blushed as I tried to make excuses for my stupidity. “I didn’t think the gas would run out. Why didn’t they show me where the gas tank was in the first place?” I blurted out. I had to blame someone. “There’s a gas station right up the street. I’ll go and get you some gas.” As I sat there waiting for the gas, I thanked God for sending me this nice, helpful Bermudian rather than the Boston Strangler. When he returned, I paid him for the gas, thanked him profusely for his help and resumed my island tour.
I looked forward to riding to St. George for lunch. Even though it was on the other side of the island, it would be worth the trip. I remembered the quaint little shops and eating in the restaurant that served rich chocolate cake that melted in my mouth. As I drove into St. George, all I could see was the majestic cruise ships lined up along the ocean front. People were standing on the decks watching and waving to those passing by. I leisurely strolled around town enjoying the sights and taking my time to browse in the novelty shops. I stopped to watch a man making glass jewelry. I finally felt that vacation sense of freedom, as I strolled along the streets browsing in shops.
|I found a cozy restaurant tucked away behind the famous St. George cathedral. I expected my trip back to be uneventful as I strapped on my helmet and started up my moped. The air felt different and it seemed a little darker. I looked up in the sky and knew rain was only minutes away.I have to get back on my own, no matter what. Maybe I can make it before it gets really bad. God, what’s going on? Where’s the sun? I don’t even have a raincoat with me. As I raced against time to get back to Angels Grotto, black ominous clouds threatened from above and the cold wind chilled my weary bones.Within minutes, the rain poured down and the sky opened up. I could hardly see as the hail and ice balls hit my face. As each car sped by, water splashed my feet, legs, arms and even my head.
Between my tears and the pouring rain, I could hardly see in front of me. I held on for dear life.I had to keep going, no matter what. My body trembled with fear and I felt my heart pound inside my chest. God help. I’m scared to death and my life is in danger.Up ahead, as I squinted to see, I spotted a covered shelter for people waiting for buses. If I can reach that shelter, I can get out of the rain and be safe until it passes. Keep going Pat. You’re gonna make it. Just keep moving and you’ll be safe. As I approached the shelter, I could see it was empty. I turned off my moped, threw it on the ground and screamed at God at the top of my lungs. F U God.
I felt the anger rise up from a place deep within me. I didn’t get angry at God – ever. What was going on with me? I have no idea how long I sat on the ground sobbing uncontrollably, but it seemed like time had stopped. I realized that all my life I held in my anger and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Once it started, it wouldn’t let up until it ran its course. After this outburst and release of anger, I calmed down and felt better. Although totally spent and exhausted, I knew deep down that something had shifted inside of me. The weather had shifted as well.
The rain had stopped and I couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel. Drenched and cold, I peeled off my clothes layer by layer, then soaked in a hot tub for over an hour, adding hot water as it cooled. As soon as my head hit the pillow that evening, I was out and I slept like a baby. When I woke up the next morning, the sun shone brightly through my window. I listened to the bird’s song and felt renewed. I felt transformed, healed and loved. Looking out my window at the pale blue clear sky, I felt peaceful, serene and grateful as if enveloped in God’s loving presence.
God, something feels different inside, what happened yesterday? I feel lighter and more alive. Where did all that anger come from? I’m sorry God for blaming you and saying what I did.
Sitting in prayer and meditating the next day, I sensed the beginning of getting in touch with a well of deep unresolved anger from my childhood. I didn’t know how much anger I had inside of me until my moped incident. I could no longer keep the lid on my anger because it was destroying me. I thought about the headaches and not sleeping – they were probably a result of my unresolved anger and holding things in.
I think God, in His ultimate wisdom, allowed this to happen so I could begin to release the anger from the sexual abuse that I’d buried for years. He knew it would take a lot for me to get angry – alone in Bermuda on a moped during a hail storm did it. Clearly, the release was more important to my well-being than having beautiful weather. Yes, I was angry and wanted to blame God for the bad weather, and for my fears of getting electrocuted or having an accident on the moped.
God had thrown His thunderbolts and created the perfect circumstances to free and heal me. I thought I was going to Bermuda to rest and relax in the sunshine. God had other plans, better plans. He knew exactly what I needed.
|I love how the Universe works. Since I moved to Maui a year and a half ago, I have learned how “TO BE” and to relax and enjoy the moment. I have been praying about what to DO next in my life in regards to using my gifts. It felt like it was time for me to do something and I asked Spirit “to bring it to me.” I trusted that whatever (person, place, or thing) was in my highest good, it would appear at the perfect and right time. It is also called the art of “allowing.” I no longer had to push and make things happen, as I did for so many years.
I stopped at a yard sale on my way to church on Sunday. My CD Walkman broke several years ago and I hadn’t replaced it. There on the corner of the table was a brand new Walkman still in the package for $5. I asked, “Will you take $3 and she immediately said, “Yes,” I walked away with a smile on my face and a brand new Walkman. I am going to Rhode Island for a month to visit family and friends and thought it would be a great idea to listen to some old CDs.
I opened the Walkman today to see how it worked. I have a box of CDs that I brought with me when I moved here to Maui and came across a 4 CD set called “Radical Manifestation” by Colin Tipping, I purchased the set of CDs several years ago and thought they would be great to listen to again. I put them aside and didn’t open them to see if all the CDs were there. I also found a brand new CD that was still in the package that I had purchased when I went on my cruise 2 years ago. It was called Steel Band – Music of the Caribbean. It sounded like fun so I opened the package to listen to it. When I put this CD into my CD player, I fully expected to hear Steel Band Caribbean music.
I was shocked when I heard Colin Tipping, author of Radical Manifestation speaking. I quickly opened the CD player to see what was going on. It was the first CD of the set of 4 from Radical Manifestation CDs. I couldn’t understand how it got in there and wondered where the Steel Band Caribbean CD went? It was gone! I am not kidding you; it was nowhere to be found. I then checked the CD set that I had set aside and sure enough the first CD was missing (the one that was now playing in my CD).
Either I was going crazy or Spirit was playing games and trying to get my attention. I have never experienced anything like this before. I thought, “I better pay attention to this because this is not normal stuff, God must be speaking and I better listen up!” Of course, I immediately started to listen to the Radical Manifestation CDs and then the inspiration came.
|Before I even finished listening to the first CD, I had the inspiration to create my own Radical Manifestation workshop. I certainly had enough “personal experience” to do a great workshop on manifestation. My friends in Rhode Island call me a “magical manifester.” When I finished listening to the first CD, I picked up the phone and called Kaunoa Senior Center where I had given workshops when I first came to Maui. I met with the activities director today and will be teaching Radical Manifestation October 3, 2013.
That same day, I received an email from my friend Ros, who owns a beautiful Bed and Breakfast in Maui. I met Ros last year when I attended a retreat and stayed at her B&B. I gave her my book when I left. She started her email with, “I just had a thought as I was reading your blog this morning. As you are a coach in assisting people find the right track for their lives – here is what I would like for you to consider. What do you think about offering individual one-on- one retreats for several days even a couple of weeks? It could be anything from one day sessions to a 3-to-10 day retreat. The majority of the food will be prepared utilizing local organic fruits and vegetables, and free range eggs, fish, chicken and lamb.” One of the other teachers she has invited to consider being a part of this is Ram Dass. Ram Dass is a well- known spiritual teacher living on Maui and just seeing my name on the same page made me excited.
I emailed Ros back and told her I was very interested and we have already started planning it. It is my passion to lead retreats and coach people to find the God within. God gave me a mantra several years ago that I repeat often. It is “I am a star that shines brightly to lead others to the God within.” God does answer prayer. I had asked God to show me what to do next and to bring it to me. Do you think my prayer was answered? I sure do. The next day, I was putting away the CD’s that were on my table and what shows up mysteriously but the Caribbean CD. I am still scratching my head over this one.
|I have learned to ask for what I want in all areas of my life.The first chapter in my book, Simply a Woman of Faith is about asking God for things I need at yard sales. Here are a couple of the stories.
“I started going to yard sales many years ago out of necessity. My husband was out of work for a year. There wasn’t enough money for the basics for the two of us and our four small children. I found my children’s clothes at my weekly yard sales. The clothes almost looked brand new after I brought them home and washed them. While they were young, the children never knew the clothes came from yard sales and I could get away with it. When they got older, I had to sneak the stuff into the house so they wouldn’t know where they came from. My faith was strengthened whenever God answered a prayer request and I found just what I was looking for.
God, Joe needs shoes for his job interview. You know we can’t afford $150 for a new pair of black wing tip shoes. I know this is not the usual request and it may take a while to find since he’s a size 12D. I trust you God.
God must look down and smile at some of my unique prayer requests. A size 12D man’s shoe was a tall order, even for God. This didn’t happen overnight, but I didn’t give up. I kept praying, asking and going to yard sales. One of these days, I’ll find them, I thought to myself.
I did a double take when I walked into the yard sale and spotted boxes of shoes stacked neatly on the table. I raced over to the table, my heart pounding loudly. I carefully opened all the boxes hoping to find size 12 D black wing tip shoes. It didn’t look like they had any large sizes and I was about to give up. With that, a man walked over to me and asked if I needed help. “You don’t have what I’m looking for,” I responded. “What do you need?” I kind of chuckled and said, “I need size 12D man’s shoes – preferably, black wing tips.” “Wait a minute, I think I have some larger sizes over here. Follow me.” I held my breath anticipating what we might find. He opened all the boxes searching for a 12D. “Yes, here we go. Is this what you are looking for?” He held up a shiny pair of black wing tip – 12D. “I could hardly get the words out of my mouth. “Are you sure they’re a size 12D?” “Yes, lady. The size is right here. Look size 12D.” He pointed to the size marking on the inner leather. “How much?” He thought about it for a moment and then said, “Twenty-five dollars will do.” “It’s a deal, I’ll take them.”
God’s love and care never cease to amaze me and I wanted to shout it from the housetops. I couldn’t hold back and blurted out, “I’m so happy I came here today. My husband is out of work and has a job interview next week. He didn’t have any dress shoes and he couldn’t afford to buy new ones. I’ve been praying to find new shoes at a yard sale. I knew God would answer my prayers.”
He looked at me kindly and said, “I sold my shoe store a year ago. These shoes were leftovers. They weren’t doing me any good in the basement and I just wanted to get rid of them. Glad you found what you were looking for.” I paid for the shoes and thanked him. I couldn’t wait to get home and have my husband try them on. I ran into the house and shouted, “Joe, guess what? I found new shoes for you at a yard sale – and they’re wing tips.” He looked a bit apprehensive at first, but smiled and sat down to try them on. I held my breath as I watched him slip his foot into the shoe. Just like Cinderella, the shoe fit like a glove. God is faithful. He wants to provide for His children. We need to only ask and believe.
My daughter Mary called me and said, “Mom, I broke my foot last night.” “What happened? Are you okay?” I asked anxiously. “I fell down the cellar stairs, but I’m okay.” “Did you get an x- ray?” “No, I’ll be all right mom. Don’t worry. “Can you get me a walking cast at the hospital?” “They don’t have them there.” I replied. “I’ll go to the hospital supply store tomorrow after I go “yard sailing” and buy you one.” “Thanks mom. See you tomorrow.”
I sure wish she’d get an x-ray, but she’s thirty years old and is going to do it her way,I reminded myself.The walking cast was the furthest thing from my mind as I strolled around this particular yard sale. I bought a few things for the house and paid the lady when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted it.
God, am I seeing right? That looks like a walking cast sitting there in the middle of the driveway. “Excuse me, but is that a walking cast over there?” “Yes, I bought it for my husband a few years ago and he never used it.” “Oh, how much are you asking for it?” “One dollar.” “Sold.”
I walked out of the yard sale with a smile on my face and a skip in my step. I drove straight to Mary’s house. I couldn’t wait to tell her the good news. I hurried into her house and found her sitting with her leg propped up on the living room couch.”Mary, guess what? I found a walking cast at a yard sale, try it on and see if it fits.” “It fits perfectly.” It didn’t take her long before she was up and wobbling around.
The beauty of my “yard sailing” lies not just in the price, but the knowledge that God does care about the details. His answers to my yard sale prayers constantly remind me that I’m taken care of, that God is in my life and that He wants me to have all I need and desire. The fun I have finding these bargains reminds me that God has fun when I have fun. I think God enjoys placing bargains in my path as much as I enjoy finding them.”
Whether it be asking God to guide me and bring something to me at the perfect and right time, or asking to be provided for at yard sales, God is faithful and hears my prayers.
Daily Word – June 27, 2013
I am eager to serve God and others and be the best I can be. I do this most fully when I love what I do and express that love in words and actions. When I am passionate about something, that passion shows in all I say and do. I excite and enliven others with my passion and allow it to carry me to new heights. My deepest desire is to demonstrate the spirit of God within – a spirit of life and zeal. Spirit within fuels my passion and spurs me to right action. I am encouraged and committed as I stay connected to the spirit of God through prayer. Prayer lights the fire within me. If my motivation lags, a moment of quiet prayer rekindles my passion and reignites my zeal.
I was still in prayer and thought about writing my blog. I said to God, “I don’t know what I am going to write about this week, please give me something inspirational to write about.” I know now that it always comes at the perfect and right time, so I wasn’t stressing.
I had just finished my prayer when the phone rang. It was my friend Donna from Massachusetts. We chatted for a while catching up and sharing our lives with one another. We were about to get off the phone when she said, “Oh, my daughter and her boyfriend broke up right before Easter and guess why they broke up?” I had no idea and said, “Why?” Donna said, “He wants to be a priest, so it is bitter sweet. Of course, she is heartbroken, but handling it the best she can. Then Donna said, “Here is the miracle. My daughter went back to college and someone knocked on her door and asked if she would be a part of the committee for the Catholic group at the college. My daughter said, “But I am Protestant.” They said, “That is ok, we want you.” She thought about it and said, “Yes, I will do it.” After that, they invited her to a 4 – day conference in San Diego, all expenses paid.Right after the breakup, Donna told her daughter, “If not this, then something better.” She said, “I never thought God would work so quickly!” While her daughter’s heart had a crack in it, God was helping to heal it nicely.I was so happy for her daughter and how God provided this opportunity for her, especially in her time of need.
As I took my walk along the ocean that afternoon, I thought about Donna’s daughter and how that opportunity just “CAME TO HER.” I love it when things come to me and I know they are from Spirit. I have had many opportunities, both big and small come to me out of nowhere. I have an example of what happened this morning when I went “yard sailing” I had an unexpected guest stay over for two nights and she slept on the couch. I found the sheets that I had bought a while ago tucked away in a suitcase. The only problem was that I only had a bottom sheet – no top sheet or pillow case. Of course, she didn’t care and we made do with what I had. Next week, I invited a friend to stay over for a couple of nights before and after her conference in Maui.
I often go “yard sailing” on Saturday mornings, but when I woke up this Saturday morning, I didn’t feel like going and decided to have a quiet morning with a walk and swim in the ocean. As I drove to the ocean later in the day, I spotted a yard sale on the way and decided to stop. I spotted the pillow case immediately and bought it for $.25 -and it was the exact same color as the bottom sheet I had at home.Thank you God, you provide for all of my needs. I went to the beach and on my way home; I stopped at another yard sale right on my street. Guess what I bought for one dollar? A top sheet and it was also the same green color as the bottom sheet and pillow case. This is a small example of how God knows our needs and provides at the perfect and right time – when we trust and believe.
I’d like to share a story from my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” that happened about 20 years ago. God provided the exact amount of money for me to go on a vacation to Bermuda and it came to me,quite unexpectedly and miraculously.
The chapter is “God is my Travel Agent.” With the stress of my husband being unemployed and my own personal problems dealing with sexual abuse that I was working through, my body screamed out for attention. I experienced one sleepless night after another, and constant tension headaches during the day. I desperately needed peace and tranquility. I felt headed for a nervous breakdown and knew I needed to just do something for myself, away from my family responsibilities.
God speaks to me through my dreams and several times a week during that time, I dreamt about going to Bermuda. I pay attention when I have recurring dreams because God uses them to get my attention. “Okay, God, I’ll go to a travel agency and at least check it out.” I went to the travel agency and said, “I want a safe place for a woman to travel alone.” I had never gone away by myself, especially out of the country. “Yes, Bermuda is the place to go,” she answered. “In fact, we have some great deals that I would be glad to show you. I’ve traveled there myself several times and it’s safe. I have the perfect hotel for you.” I instantly fell in love with Angel’s Grotto. The picture on the brochure said it all – overlooking a pristine stretch of pink sand and Turquoise Ocean. It looked like the perfect getaway.
I thought to myself. I’ll never be able to afford this. What am I doing God? I haven’t even told my husband about it. He’s going to think I’m out of my mind, especially since his unemployment runs out and he doesn’t have a job yet. I reluctantly asked, “What does this all cost?” “Only $1,200, everything included. You can’t beat a price like that. Shall I book it?” “Well, yes,” I stammered. “But I have to check with my husband first and see if he’s okay with it. I’ll call you tomorrow.” It seemed like a good deal, but I didn’t have $1200. I didn’t even have $100. As I began to mull it over, the guilt set in and my inner critic attacked relentlessly. “Who do you think you are even thinking about going away? You’re selfish and self- centered. You don’t deserve this. You’re only thinking about yourself.”
I prayed and asked God to guide me. I asked Him to shut the door if this wasn’t His will and open it if it was. Slowly and deliberately, I changed my thinking. “I am deserving and there’s nothing to be guilty about. God is the source of everything and will provide.” When I went home, I said to my husband, “I’m thinking about going to Bermuda on vacation – by myself.” “Oh! Where are you going to get the money?”, he asked. I said, “I’m praying in the money and if God wants me to go, He/She will open the door and provide the money and if not, I won’t go.”
I prayed, waited and watched the money come in. I jumped at it when I received a $50 check from the telephone company inviting me to change carriers. I put an ad in the newspaper for a white fur coat I no longer wore. I only received one phone call inquiring about the coat. When she came and tried it on, she thought it was a bargain for $50.
A few weeks later, I ran into a neighbor while taking a walk. It surprised the heck out of me when she asked, “Pat, do you know of anyone who can help me with my ninety year old mother who just came home from the hospital? I don’t want her to be alone at night. I’m with her in the day and will prepare her evening meal.” “What exactly does the person need to do?” I asked, “I need someone to come over at five o’clock and sit with her while she has her dinner. They would help her to bed right after supper, and stay with her four hours a night during the week.” “I’m interested.” I thought I would jump out of my skin with excitement. “I can pay ten bucks an hour. Does that work for you?” “Yes, I’d be glad to help your mother. When do I start?” “Next week would be great.” The money I made quickly added up and I achieved my $1,200 goal in no time. God opened the door and provided all the money I needed to go to Bermuda.
We have a God that loves us so much and knows all of our needs, even before we know what we need. Sometimes, we ask, like I did for the money for Bermuda and other times, we are provided for without even asking. I didn’t ask for the pillow case and sheet, even though I needed them. I love the concept of open and closed doors as a way of praying and being guided. I trust if the door is closed, it was not meant to be and is for my highest good. If the door opens, I walk through with peace, ease and grace knowing I am in God’s divine will.
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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