Celebrating Valentines day with my soul mate

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Feb
16

Larry and I had just finished our dance and sat down to rest. I heard DJ Frank announce that the next song was for Pat. I knew the song, “You Are My Special Angel,” but didn’t recognize the significance for me at first. I knew I was the only Pat at the dance but had no idea why they would be playing it for me.

Then I saw Frank’s wife, Sandy, smile at me from across the room and say, “This is for you.” I grabbed Larry’s arm to get up and dance with me. After the dance, Sandy came over to me and said, “We just finished your book and this is the song in your book, right?  I said with tears in my eyes, “Yes, it is.” It was a very special song because my grandmother used to sing it to me and called me her “Angel.”  I cried my eyes out when I heard the song the day my father died while I was shopping for a dress for his funeral.

I thanked Frank for playing the song at the Valentines dance for me. What a surprise and gift of love I received. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother growing up and I knew she loved me unconditionally. Larry loves me unconditionally and I hadn’t thought of that until this moment. He calls me his “Queen.”

When I returned home after the dance, I re-read a few chapters in my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” I read Chapter 5 “Messages from Heaven” How God Speaks through Songs.

“I dragged myself to the consignment shop to look for a dress to wear for dad’s funeral.  I couldn’t concentrate and half-heartedly looked through the racks of clothing trying to find a dress. Honey began playing on the radio.  I stood frozen in place for a few minutes, then put my face in my hands and sobbed. The owner of the shop walked over to me.  I looked up when she asked, “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”  “My father just died,” I blurted out through sobs and tears. I explained to her about the significance of the song Honey that had just played on the radio. Honey was my mother’s name and she died when I was 21 years old. She reached out to touch my shoulder, as I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.

Five minutes later, the song “Daddy’s Little Girl” came on the radio.  My dad often sang that song to me and it always brought tears to my eyes. Everyone cried when he held me in his arms on my wedding day and we danced to “Daddy’s Little Girl.”  God answered my prayer – to feel my dad’s presence. Hearing the songs only a few hours after he passed away was truly amazing. I found a dress or shall I say the dress found me – I certainly wasn’t in my right mind. As I paid and prepared to leave, “You are My Special Angel” began to play on the radio. My grandmother called me “Angel.” Within a half hour, I heard three songs that touched my heart; from my mother, father and grandmother.”

I also read Chapter 15 “I Want All of You and I Will Be Enough” How to Prepare for your Soul Mate – The God Way. I was amazed to read the affirmation that I had written about my soul mate in the book at least 15 years ago and how accurate it was.

“I am creating and expecting a loving, kind, joyful, spiritual, honest, healthy relationship with my soul mate. He will be playful, fun and will love to laugh. He will be as crazy about me as I am about him. We will both be growing spiritually, on the same path, sharing, growing and loving. He will love to dance as I do and we will dance into the sunset together. There will be no blocks or fear. We will get along fabulously. We will love each other, love being together as well as being alone.”  

God answers prayer because this is truly describing who Larry is and the relationship that we have created together. We love to play, laugh and have fun. And we love to dance and are always sharing about spiritual ideas.

Two years ago Larry called and asked me to go to dinner on Valentine’s Day. When I got off the phone, I panicked and called my girlfriend for advice. Larry and I were really good friends, but I didn’t have any romantic feelings for him. I was concerned that if I said yes to going out to dinner with him on Valentine’s Day he might get the wrong idea. I called him back and was honest with him. I said, “I would love to go out to dinner with you, but I am not interested in a romantic relationship.” He was very gracious and said, “That is fine, I know we are friends and I respect that.” I’m so grateful for Larry’s patience and that I trusted myself and what I was feeling.

Here we are two years later celebrating Valentine’s Day as partners and sharing our lives and love together. For whatever reasons, it wasn’t God’s timing for us to be partners two years earlier. What I know today is that I can trust God’s perfect timing and the Divine plan for my life.

God had given me the desire of my heart to meet my soul mate. I knew it would be fulfilled in His time and His way. I prayed this affirmation daily for many years. “My soul mate is lovingly and effortlessly coming into my life.” While I waited for my soul mate, I learned to love and trust myself. I treated myself like a queen and made myself happy. All I can say is that it was worth the wait and it has been fulfilled in His way and His time. LOVE IS ALL THERE IS.

All hell broke loose & I was in the depth of fear

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May
20

“Every positive change, every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness invites a rite of passage. Each time we ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception.” Dan Millman

What a week of ups and downs, letting go and trusting God for my highest good and that of my loved ones.  I wrote last week that my soul mate had arrived and how wonderful it was to have this man in my life. I was flying high and didn’t expect to plunge into the depth of fear that I did because the honeymoon appeared to be over.

Each time we ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation.

Larry has had a medical problem for the last 2 years that the doctors have been unable to diagnose. It comes and goes and has responded some to different treatments. This past week, all hell broke loose and his symptoms were severe and worse than ever before.  It was very scary watching him suffer and not knowing what to do or what it was from.

I was desperate and called my friend, Carole, in RI and asked her to put Larry on the prayer line. When she called the next person on the prayer line and described Larry’s symptoms, the person was familiar with the symptoms and told Carole what she thought it might be.  Carole gave me the information and we googled it. Sure enough, it was almost exactly Larry’s symptoms that the doctors hadn’t been able to diagnose for 2 years. Talk about a prayer being answered immediately.  Thank you God.

Larry is now in the process of many positive changes and we are trusting God for healing.  People have “showed up” in his life to help him with his diet, essential oils and herbs.  Another friend, Mary, who is a healer, did a long distance energy healing with him on the phone. It has been just one week since his symptoms were so severe. I am happy to report that he is 75% better.   

We each have our journey of faith to walk, hand- picked by God to help us grow stronger and more dependent on God.  I am not exempt from this, for sure. I asked myself, “How does my faith grow and deepen?”  I suspect for many of us, it is the trials, challenges that we face each day that deepens our faith.

It is my belief that I attract EVERYTHING into my life for my highest good and that even before I came into this world, God and I made an agreement what I would experience for my soul to grow. This gives me comfort and a willingness to trust God that all is well.

Not only has Larry experienced healing and transformation, but I have too.  I have always been strong and been the one that others come to for help. I didn’t feel strong and asked for help. I allowed my friends to be there for me while I was in the depth of my fear. This is not an easy thing to do, allowing myself to be so vulnerable and real.  I called my friend, Joseph, in tears because I was so scared. He listened and loved me just as I was. My friend, Sandy, came over my house and when I opened the door, I almost fell into her arms with tears.  She hugged me and then sat and held my hand as I allowed myself to feel my feelings. I wanted to be STRONG for Larry and didn’t want to share my fears with him, but I couldn’t help myself when I saw him and fell into his arms and cried.

I knew my fear was coming from a very deep place as I couldn’t stop crying. I had a flashback of my mother dying in front of me when I was 20 years old. I remember feeling so helpless and hopeless as I was unable to save her. I then realized that the fear I was feeling about Larry was fear that I was going to lose him when I just found him.

Now that this is behind me, I feel so blessed and grateful for this experience. I allowed myself to be loved in a very deep, sacred way and I allowed others to love me and SEE the real me. This is a gift to all of us.

On Sunday, I had a celebration and invited my friends to a house blessing at my new home. It was a glorious night and I felt like a “Sparkling Queen” as each person shared their wishes and love for me and my new home.  Larry bought me a beautiful lei to celebrate and my friends, Myia and Garrett, made me a lei from their Plumeria tree. I felt so loved and cherished and I thank all my friends for making it so special.

I look forward to a peaceful, exciting, and adventurous week with God. I am grateful this “RIGHT OF PASSAGE” is over.