As I sat down to write this, I lit a candle and asked God to speak through me clearly because I knew the learning and healing I experienced this week was profound. For most of my life, it was my belief that I had to be strong, perfect and “together” for me to be loved. I am learning that when I am weak, God is strong in me. I am also coming to believe that being vulnerable is a “strength” (rather than a weakness) because it allows me to be cared for by God and others in ways that are nurturing and healing. I am not only learning to trust and depend on God in a deeper way, but I am learning to ask others for help and to trust they will be there for me when I need them. I am on a spiritual journey of profound reliance on God. It is a faith walk that I take one step at a time, leaning on God and others as much as I need to.
I woke up this morning with a sharp pain in my neck and filled with anxiety. I kept repeating to myself, “I let go, I let go, I trust you God.” A few hours later when my friend Trudy came over to give me a ride to the bank, she could see the pain on my face. I burst into tears and said, “I am feeling very vulnerable, afraid and needy.” Feeling vulnerable, needy and powerless is not a place I like to be; I like to be in control and know that I can take care of myself at all times. When I told her what was going on, she was so compassionate, loving and happy to hold a space for me. She said, “When I was in so much pain last month, you called me every day to check on me and I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. I am happy to be here for you today.” She prayed with me while gently rubbing my back. We thanked God together for already answering my prayers. When she finished, we both cried as we knew on a deep level that God had brought us together to help and support one another in our time of vulnerability and need.
Here is what was going on: I let my friend borrow my “Maui Cruiser” car when I went back to Rhode Island for Christmas. A few days later she called and said, “Pat, I am afraid to drive your car because it is making a lot of noises. I cannot pick you up at the airport because I don’t think it will make it.” My car was working great when I left. I called my friend Steve who knows a lot about cars and helped me buy my car in September. He offered to go to my friend’s house and take a look at it for me. After he checked it out he said, “I think we should have it towed to my mechanic to make sure it is ok.” I agreed and called AAA in Hawaii and they were able to coordinate the towing to the garage. I was very grateful for Steve’s willingness to assist me with my car.
I was in Rhode Island and there was nothing I could do about it so I chose to stay in peace and trusted that the problem with my car was something minor and would be fixed. Of course, when I returned to Maui, I didn’t have a car and had to ask friends for rides to get around. Trudy has also offered to be my taxi cab driver while I am without a car. I wasn’t prepared when Steve called to give me the prognosis about my car. He said, “Pat, it needs a new engine. I have been looking on Craig’s list for a used engine and I found one in Lahaina and it costs $500. I will need the cash to bring to the mechanic so he can use his truck to pick up the engine.” I got off the phone in tears. I prayed and asked God who I could call to cash a check for me. My bank is out of state and I hadn’t opened a Hawaii bank account yet. Immediately, another friend came into my mind and I called and asked him for help. He was happy to assist me and agreed to meet me at his bank the next morning. I was filled with gratitude for his willingness to help me.
I realized that my feelings of vulnerability came from being alone here without family and not knowing anything about cars and engines and what I should do. I was choosing to trust Steve to guide me in my decision making. I prayed and asked God to open the door if I was to move forward and buy this “used engine” and close the door if it wasn’t a good engine. The story will be continued as it unfolds.
While this car business was going on which was stressful enough, I received a call from my new tenant in Rhode Island telling me she had several problems that needed to be addressed immediately; one of them being a leak in the dining room ceiling. My son gave me the name of someone who worked for him when he owned property. I called Walter and he agreed to go over the next day and address all of the problems. He contacted me afterward and told me what was needed to rectify the problems. Being 5000 miles away from my condo left me feeling quite vulnerable. I am sure that he could sense my stress with my quivering voice because as we were getting off the phone, he said, “I have it covered Pat, don’t worry.” It felt like God was saying to me, “I have it covered Pat, trust me and don’t worry. I have everything under control.”
The same day, I found out that one of my emails was hacked into and Delta Dental was dropping me because they hadn’t received my payment. Thank God both of these situations were taken care of and I didn’t lose my dental insurance.
I am learning to trust God by relinquishing my control and letting go and letting God. I am learning to ask others for help and trusting they will be there for me when I need them. I am learning to thank God in advance for how my prayers are being answered because an attitude of gratitude keeps me focused on God’s presence and power.
It is my belief that everything happens for a reason and that it is through problems and failures, weakness and neediness that I learn to rely more and more on God. Each problem or failure is followed by a growth spurt. I must have had a gigantic growth spurt this week. Whee…….. I am glad I got through it and can write about it. I know it’s all good and it’s all God.
DAILY WORD – LET GO LET GOD Jan/Feb pg.23
As I let go and let God, I am in the divine flow of life. Chores, tasks, commitments – I always have plenty to do. At times, I may even let my to-do list manage me, rather than the other way around. So today, I take a different approach: I let go. I let go of rushing, resentment, perfectionism and any feelings of insufficiency. Whatever I choose to do, I focus on it with gratitude, aware of the presence of God in this moment and in this work. I let God direct me through each activity with grace and ease, and I experience the joy of giving. When I finish, I bless what I have done and move on to my next task. I work in this way throughout the day, letting go and letting God steer me from one activity to the next. I am in the divine flow, and I am grateful
“While change is inevitable, my response or reaction to change is up to me. How can I best prepare myself for change, and how can I make the most of it? Change is a transition from one thing, one place, one state of mind to another. I AM EVOLVING FROM WHAT WAS TO WHAT IS. I AM BECOMING MORE THAN I WAS BEFORE. Just as my view changed as I transitioned from childhood to adulthood, I now see that I am gaining a new perspective during this transition. I may be stepping into unfamiliar territory, but this step is an opportunity to grow in spiritual awareness. With each shift or change in my life, I am moving forward.”
While living in Maui for 6 months, I was open and willing to listen to the inner voice of the Divine guiding me to rest, to BE and to receive God’s unconditional love. As I have shared in other blogs, I was a “HUMAN DOING” and pushed and tried to make things happen. Today, because of “BEING” and letting go, I am experiencing a peace and serenity that l haven’t known to this depth before. It feels like I am in a “Bubble of Grace.” It is truly a miracle that I am not feeling afraid and obsessed with the sale of my house. I stay in peace and gratitude KNOWING God’s timing is perfect and the right and perfect buyer is here now. I may be tempted to travel down the “what if” highway, but I don’t allow myself because that will keep me stuck and in fear. I used to beg God for what I wanted; now I ask, am open to receive, and then say “thank you” and trust.
OMG I am returning to Maui to live in 2 weeks. I am living my dream and am very excited about stepping into the unknown and into God’s arms. The MASTER PLAN is in place and I am saying YES to receive more good in my life. As God helps me to usher out the old (scarcity thinking, stuff in my house, etc.), I am trusting God will be there to welcome me and usher in the new (new life new home, new friends, new church.)
What I have learned about this process is to be clear about what is my work and what is God’s. When I came back to Rhode Island on June 27, it was my intention to stay focused, clean out my house and get it ready to be sold. I also visualized that it would flow with peace, ease and grace. It truly has, and everything I needed was there when I needed it. For example, my friend Steve was going to paint my bedroom and den and I planned on buying the paint the next day. I knew there were lots of old cans of paint in the basement that I was planning to throw away, but I was happily surprised to find 2 gallons of old unopened paint!
I don’t know where they came from! And the best part was that it was the perfect and right color for the rooms. Of course, I was in deep gratitude for the miraculous paint that “showed up.”
My work in this process was to prepare my house to be sold to the best of my ability, to visualize, to trust, to ask for help, to stay positive and grateful. God’s part is the HOW it will unfold. I know God is working behind the scenes and has me covered. God knows more than I do what I need and when the house will sell. God knows the best place for me to live when I land in Maui. When I worry and obsess, I dishonor myself and the God within. It is a choice to trust and walk in faith. What helps me to trust is to remember what God has done for me in the past.
For example, I remember God’s word to me several years ago when I was at a very low point and experiencing debilitating fear. I was in the middle of writing my book and wanted to give up. In fact, I told God “I am not doing it; you have chosen the wrong person.” While at work one day, I opened a magazine and across the page was “I have a plan that will make all of your dreams come true.” I cut it out and still have it as a reminder of how I sobbed with joy when I read it because I knew God was speaking to me. The message gave me the courage and strength to finish my book. I shudder to think how fear almost robbed me of my dream. I am so grateful because I would not be where I am today and moving to Maui to live if I stayed stuck in the fear.
Not only has God “showed up” for me by giving me strength, courage, grace, faith, peace and serenity, but my family and friends have reached out to support and help me by painting rooms, cleaning windows, gardening, cleaning my basement, fixing my toilet and the list goes on and on. I am so GRATEFUL for the love I have experienced.
As I reflect on the past 2 years, I realized that my Hawaii adventure has also been a process. It may look like I spent 6 months in Maui from January to June and made a snap decision to move back there. Not so! Before I even went to Maui for the first time in November 2010 for 2 weeks, I had a psychic reading that I have never forgotten. She said, “Maui is going to be the nucleus of something big.” When I returned home after being in Maui for 2 weeks, I knew that something big had shifted inside of me. All I knew is that I didn’t want to do business the way I was doing it with all the marketing and networking and pushing. It was scary because I didn’t know what was going on and what God was preparing for me. After all, I needed to make money to support myself.
I “showed up” daily to pray and meditate and ask God for guidance and clarity about what my next step was. I had the opportunity to go back to Maui for a month in September 2011 and it was then that I heard God calling me back to Maui for 6 months. This really surprised me because I had never done anything like this and had to work through the “not deserving” voice to follow my heart and God’s calling. We have to be patient with the process of life and be willing to let go of control. Just like many of you, I use to want what I wanted when I wanted it and I kicked and screamed when I didn’t get my own way.
Today, I am learning a better way and that is to go with the flow, live in the present moment, trust that I have everything I need and that all is well. I have learned to trust my inner wisdom and trust God’s guidance in all things. I expect miracles and more good to come into my life. I am passionate about my life, especially when I use my life to inspire others to live their dream. I received this in prayer today.
Goddess Guidance Cards – Doreen Virtue
Aine – Leap of Faith
Take a risk, and put your heart’s true desire into action. Procrastination about your dreams won’t make them go away. Neither will they make them happen. Indecision is the death of the soul’s burning passion to improve, grow and learn. Don’t worry about making a wrong decision. Instead, worry about making no decision at all. Then take time to pray, meditate, investigate, research and make your decision. Once made the universal energies will immediately open as if my magic. The magic, you see, is that you have set your mind to accomplish something. Trust that your intention is clear and right for you. And then take a leaf of faith and jump fully into putting your dreams into action.
I love when I am IN THE FLOW and allow my day to unfold in peace, ease and grace, trusting everything is unfolding according to a divine plan. I trust I AM exactly where I am meant to be and trust that what will come in the next moment will be for my highest good. Being IN THE FLOW means I know that ALL that I need is flowing to me easily and effortlessly. Being IN THE FLOW means I have an attitude of gratitude, especially when things appear to be not going the way I would like them to go. For example, I drove 35 miles to the other side of Maui to attend a dance last night. When I arrived and got out of the car, I had a flat tire. I immediately thanked God for protecting me and getting me there safely. It could have been disastrous if I had had a blowout on the dark single lane, windy highway that I traveled through the edge of the mountains and along the coastal cliffs. I called AAA and they were there within the hour to fix my tire. All my needs were taken care of and I thanked God all the way home.
When I am IN THE FLOW, I am willing to let go and let God on a daily basis. I let go of fear, lack consciousness, control, people pleasing, my plan, judgement, anger, wanting others approval and impatience, to name just a few. I recently read in Daily Word that “It can be terrifying to let go as we pass through the wilderness on the way from limited knowledge to greater self-understanding. True letting go or releasing means that we have trust in our divine self to allow a greater personal self to emerge. God always has good for us and we will have to let go of the lesser in order to receive the greater.”
I would love to say that I am always IN THE FLOW. I have learned that it is unrealistic to expect that, but it is certainly my goal and intention to live from a place of love and trust on a daily basis. I have more days of being IN THE FLOW than I have ever had in my life. At the end of the day, I often see how perfectly the day unfolded when I just allowed it to happen and trusted my intuition. I use to love having lists and agendas and being able to check them off at the end of the day. It gave me a sense of control and success. Of course, there is nothing wrong with lists and accomplishing things, and in fact, if I don’t write things down, I often forget them!
What I am talking about is a major shift that has occurred in my being and the way I do and see things. I love not having anything on my plate for a day – and then following the energy of what I feel like doing and what God is calling me to do. It is exciting to see what turns up. For example, I might be standing in line waiting to have lunch and end up meeting people who invite me to join them, or I find the perfect picture that I absolutely love and have been “looking” for, or unexpectedly encountering two turtles in the ocean and being able to play with them.
You may be thinking as you read this, “I am too busy and have too many things to do to be IN THE FLOW,” yet you are important and deserve to take time for yourself to just BE and do what you want to do. It is not only necessary but crucial to your spiritual well-being. God wants you to experience a deeper walk with Him/Her but you must be willing to give yourself time to hear the small still voice of God and follow your intuition. That means you have to make the time to go within. Start out small and see what happens, you might really like it!
My lesson for this week was about welcoming in all of my feelings and not judging them. Feelings are not right or wrong and they pass like the passing clouds if I allow them. As I watched the couples and children playing in the ocean and laughing, I felt a sense of loneliness and I went to an “old behavior” of thinking to myself “I must be doing something wrong” that I am alone. Thoughts like, “I should have joined a club to meet people, volunteered or did something.” Then I realized that I was trying to “fix” me or change “what is.” Right now, I am alone which gives me a great opportunity to deepen my relationship with God and come home to myself-my soul. I am connecting more with my God-self and my essence. In fact, I am beginning to think that has been the whole purpose of these last 6 months of living in Maui. It has been about receiving God’s unconditional love, trusting my intuition, loving myself and remembering I am ONE with God. As I open myself to receive more of God’s love, I am able to BE love and give love to all I meet. I am Love.
In prayer one night, I did some journaling and asked God some important questions and I decided to share them with you.
Pat: God, what do you want me to do for the next 5 weeks while I am in Maui?
God: I want you to live the life I am offering you. I am inviting you to go deeper with me and come home to yourself.
Pat: What do you mean God?
God: You must stop judging where you are, or thinking that you are doing something wrong. You are doing everything right, by showing up and going with the flow. Do you know how many people have to have agendas and have no idea how to go with the flow? You are living your dream and that is your spiritual work. Stop worrying that you are not doing enough. You are doing more than you know by being in the flow, trusting me on a daily basis and asking for all of your needs to be met.
Pat: How do I handle the lonely feeling I sometimes feel when I see couples and children having fun and I am alone?
God: You must feel your feelings. Welcome them in and don’t judge them. They will pass. Be compassionate with yourself. I know what you want and it will come. You must continue to be patient and to trust in my divine timing and plan. You are my beloved and I am well pleased with you, for you are following your heart, inspiring others and sharing my love with the world. Relax Pat and surrender to “what is” rather than what’s missing.
While looking back on my journal entries this week, I came across something that I read in the Science of Mind magazine that really spoke to my heart and I would like to leave you with these words.
“One of the most frustrating times along the spiritual path occurs when NOTHING seems to be happening. On the surface nothing seems to be happening, but underneath a great shift is occurring. Instead of feeling frustrated, it may be that life is giving you a safe place to rest and gather your energy for the journey ahead. You may not be able to see which way to go, but if you sit patiently, have faith that life has meaning and wait until the mist clears, you may find that one day you wake up to a bright blue sky that reveals a clear path leading to an even more beautiful mountain than the one you just climbed. The temptation will be to run around in the mist searching for guidance. But this will wear you out and until you stop and rest, no further path will be revealed to you until you have the energy to attempt the next climb. Trust that although nothing seems to be happening on the surface, a whole lot is happening below the surface.”
“All is well. What a powerful statement! When I affirm “All is well,” I am affirming that my life and the lives of those I love are in God’s care, filled with divine blessings. My trust is in God. By stating “All is well” I open myself to a flow of divine energy and everlasting love that blesses me in unimaginable ways. Just as a faucet opens to a free flow of water when it is turned on, I am open to a free flow of peace, prosperity, love and joy when I turn my heart to God. No need is too great for the power of God within me to resolve.
I never know what I am going to witness when I pray and mediate each morning. I may see a whale waving to me as it jumps right out of the water. A few days ago, I saw a huge sea lion that weighed over 1000 pounds playing with a turtle! Today, I watched 15-20 surfers ride the waves and I learned something about surfing and life. The surfers sit and wait for the perfect wave that they can ride. They have faith and know that the wave will come. I am sure it is exhilarating and exciting to catch the wave that will carry them for long distances. I asked myself, “How do they know which wave will give them the best ride and when to wait for the next one?” I observed how patient they were and how they trusted their instincts. They intuitively seemed to know when to turn the board, when to go into the wave or when to jump off and dive into the ocean.
I am sure they have practiced for years to be that good because there were some huge waves crashing over them and it was breathtaking to watch. I thought to myself, “ I am sure they learned to surf on small waves before graduating to the giant waves.” What I noticed is that when a wave crashed over them and they tumbled into the ocean (which had to be scary), they got up immediately and headed back for the next wave to come. They didn’t give in to fear.
Just like the surfers wait patiently for the perfect wave, we need to practice patience and trust in the manifestation of our dreams – “knowing” deep within us that our dreams will manifest at the perfect and right time. We need to stay in the water of life if we are going to catch the wave – the next opportunity or miracle. How tempting it is to give up and forget our dreams because it is not happening fast enough. We may give up right before the miracle. We must practice by showing up daily for our lives and trusting in a Higher Power.
This is what I learned from watching the surfers that I can apply to my life. I must be patient and wait, trusting that I am right where I need to be and I must believe the right and perfect answer will show up at the right time. I must go within and trust myself that I will know what to do when I need to do it. It may be to stay in a relationship, or a job, or it may be to let go and leave. I have learned over the years that when problems crash over me like the waves in the ocean, I need to get right back up, face my fears and not give up. I know that I can trust in a Power greater than myself to sustain me and support me, no matter how it looks on the outside.
As I look back over my life and the many situations I have encountered, I realized I was more like the surfer than I thought. I know what it is like to face my fear and dive in. I could feel deep within myself when it was time to leave a 30 year marriage, and I needed to come out of denial, face my fear and take those steps towards change, in order to live my dream. Was it scary? Of course it was. I also know that I couldn’t have left one minute earlier than I did. I had to be prepared and ready. I don’t regret my marriage, but I knew it was no longer bringing me joy and I wasn’t living my life to the fullest. Today I am living my dream and riding some amazing powerful waves.
Are you waiting for the perfect wave in your life like a new job, home, relationship, health, abundance? I am waiting patiently for the perfect wave in my life – and that is for Perfect Love. I thank you God for the Perfect Love that will come to me in peace, ease and grace. I am not willing to settle for a small wave and I am not willing to give up. Like the surfers, I know and believe the wave will come. Do you believe your wave will come?
Right after I finished writing this, my friend Pat and I went into town to the used book store. She was looking for a book for her husband. As we were leaving, I spotted this small book “Surfing” Hawaiian provers and inspirational quotes. This is what I opened to:
“Surfing big waves is all about overcoming fear. Fear paralyzes and fear causes hesitation, and fear is something that we all have…. So every year, if you’re going to surf big waves, you have to go through a process of mentally and physically preparing yourself. The physical part is relatively simple – you have to be fit, you swim, you run. But the mental part is a lot more challenging because you have to revisit old fears and you have to overcome them again.” Jim Howe
“The surfer acquired the patience to wait for things to happen rather than try to make them happen. With each successful ride, he experienced a feeling of spiritual achievement, he came into harmony with nature; and nature, for all practical purposes is God.” Tom Blake
Ten years ago I had a dream. It was a BIG dream, which would rigorously change the lives of my five kids, my husband, and me literally overnight. My Soul told me we were going to leave Holland. Imagine waking up tomorrow with a knowing that you had to leave the country you live in? Everybody said we were crazy.
To make the move, our whole family-plus Buddha, our dog-had to be in agreement with my plan. Next, we flew to America and toured around in a nine-sleeper in search of our new destiny in this huge country. The Universe must have loved my plan; our house found us!
Our kids truly believed that you could just leave everything behind, pack up your suitcase, and hop on a plane. And in all honesty, that is exactly what we did. We left our beloved life behind and jumped on a plane with suitcases in hand.
Upon arrival we faced many challenges: not speaking the language, no contacts, no jobs, hardly any money, an empty house, our luggage floating on the ocean for two months, and more. Where do you start?
However, we are still here, and within ten years we’ve literally gone from surviving to thriving.Yesterday we celebrated that extraordinary choices not only give us extraordinary challenges but extraordinary results, and that DREAMS COME TRUE!
Saskia Roelle, Author of a Suitcase Full of Faith
I am a recovering “Rushaholic.” I didn’t take time to smell the roses because I was just too busy with life and “DOING.” I didn’t know what it meant to BE and relax. I have a chapter in by book about rushing. “Rushing was my addiction. If I rushed and stayed busy, I didn’t have time to feel my feelings and go within. It gave me energy when I rushed. I felt powerful and in control when I multi-tasked. When I rush all the time, I disconnect from myself and the divine energy of God within. When I rush, I’m not respecting myself or the God within.” When I rush, I lose my peace and feeling the presence of God.
As I took my daily walk around Providence College today, I stopped to watch the men remove a 35 foot locus tree off the truck with a huge forklift. The foreman walked over to me and, of course, I had all kinds of questions to ask him. The tree had just been delivered from New York and it took 3 hours to drive it to Providence College. It cost $10,000. Why would I write a story about watching a tree being removed from a truck?
Because I realized how stopping and smelling the roses (and watching a tree being taken off a truck) and being in the present moment was crucial to my spiritual well being. The peace that I experienced was a peace that passes all understanding. If you want peace in your life, I encourage you to slow down and practice being in the present moment. I know you may be saying, “But I work and have a family and there is just so much to do.” Yes, that is true, but take 10 minutes each day for yourself and do whatever you want and do it purposefully. You are responsible for the pace and peace you bring to each moment.
When I am living in the present moment, I listen to my intuition and follow it, even if it doesn’t make sense. For example, I decided to take the day off and go to the beach this week. I had planned on going to Horseneck Beach in MA. As I was driving on the highway, I changed my mind and took the turn to Narragansett Beach, which is the opposite direction. No big deal, I thought. As I was driving to the beach, I decided to get off one of the exits and go to a consignment store that I hadn’t been to in years. I wanted to find a dress to wear for my speaking engagements in Hawaii. I wanted it to be “Hawaiian looking”, and of course, I wanted a bargain. I found a dress that I loved, the perfect turquoise color and it was on sale for ½ the price.
Stop every once in awhile and smell the roses. Look around and see God’s miracles. Listen to your intuition. You have one life to live so live it to the fullest because you never know if you will be blessed with a tomorrow.
Do you believe you get what you need when you need it and at the perfect and right timing? I believe everything happens for a reason and it’s always for my highest good and the good of others. I’ve learned to expect God’s favor and to look for signs that I’m on the right track and in God’s perfect plan.
After my daughter-in –law Suzie died 3 years ago, while still at her wake, my son handed me her pewter angel with the inscription, “Let Miracles Find You.” He said, “Mom, Suzie wants you to have this.” I often think about what it means to “Let Miracles Find Me.” It means I trust that God is with me and that I am never alone. It means that God will show up at the perfect and right timing. It may not be my time, but it is always the perfect time.
A few days before Christmas, as I sat all by myself in church, I was really missing my mother – even though she died 42 years ago. She died on January 1st, so the holidays can be a trigger for me. As I looked around at the families gathered together in church that day, I felt sad, lonely and vulnerable. I knew I needed to really nurture and take care of myself, so I went home, took a hot bath and a long relaxing nap. One of my favorite ways to nurture myself is to curl up in my bed with my soft blanket after my bath. Each of us do that in different ways, but what’s important is that we take the time to soothe ourselves, so that we can open and receive God’s love in our lives.
The next day after church, while I was praying, I wrote in my journal, “Thank you for the miracles that will find me today.” That afternoon, I stopped at my friend Mary’s house to exchange Christmas gifts. I literally gasped when I opened her gift. There sat a beautiful angel with the inscription “Let Miracles Find You.” What a confirmation and sign that God was with me and that I wasn’t alone. Miracles are always finding us when we expect and believe. We must be awake and plugged into the Power within to receive our miracles from God.
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