Little did I know that when I said YES to an invitation from an 87-year-old woman named, Ellen, that my life would change dramatically and quickly. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 12 years ago this Thanksgiving that I first visited Maui. I had never traveled so far by myself on vacation and I had never left my children at Thanksgiving. It was a big step.
I had been invited to speak at a church service about my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” After the service Ellen, who was visiting her family in Rhode Island, came up to me and shared that she lived on Maui. I said, “It’s always been my dream to visit Maui.” She smiled and said, “You can stay with me for as long as you want and you can use my car.” She showed me a postcard of her condo that overlooked the ocean. Ellen and I met for dinner before visiting her on Maui. She shared “This will be my first Thanksgiving alone since my husband died a few months ago.”
I couldn’t refuse the offer, especially since the month before I had signed up for a new credit card while walking through the airport and received a round trip ticket for anywhere in the world.
As I think about it today, I’m surprised that I had the courage to say YES to stay with a woman for 2 weeks that I had never met or knew nothing about. What would we do if we didn’t get along? Of course, I prayed about it and the answer was YES.
It was the divine plan and Ellen and I became fast friends during my two-week vacation. I swam with the turtles and watched the gorgeous sunsets and surfers riding the waves. Ellen showed me all around and I fell in love with Maui. Ellen wrote me a card right before I left that said, “KEEP THE VISION OF COMING BACK.”
That’s exactly what I did. I KEPT THE VISION OF COMING BACK! The following year Ellen invited me to stay in her condo for a month while she traveled. I couldn’t say NO to a month on Maui living on the ocean by myself for FREE. It was during that month that I heard the small, still, voice of God say, “I want you to move to Maui for 6 months.”
I really struggled and kept going back and forth about why I couldn’t do it. All of my “stuff” came to the surface. Where would the money come from? I was living on social security and a small pension. The biggest struggle was that I didn’t feel worthy or deserving to live on Maui for 6 months. I also couldn’t imagine leaving my kids and grandkids and moving 5,000 miles away. What kind of mother would do that?
I prayed, meditated, and let go. I only wanted God’s will if I only knew what it was. I was literally driving myself crazy until one day I said to God, “I need to know your will NOW.” I said out loud, “I’m going back to live in Rhode Island.” As I said it, my hand went to my heart and I gasped. That was my answer. My body was speaking and letting me know that it was God’s plan to move to Maui for 6 months.
The rest is history. Not only did I live on Maui for 6 months in a condo shared with friends for $400 a month, but I also moved here permanently in January 2011. I just kept saying YES to God’s plan. I live in the most beautiful place in the world with my soulmate and husband. We rent a home that overlooks the ocean. It’s all because I had the courage and faith to say YES to God’s plan for my life.
It has been an amazing journey and adventure. I have expanded more than I could have ever imagined. Here is some of what I have learned:
· God’s plan is always BIGGER and BETTER than mine
· I can trust the small, still, voice of God within
· I can trust myself that I’m being guided and protected
· I always have a choice to say YES or NO to God’s plan
· Fear is useless, what is needed is trust
· It takes courage to step out in faith and follow God’s plan
· I must be willing to go into the “unknown” and not have all the answers
· It’s all been planned in the mind of God and I just have to “show up”
· I’m responsible for my own happiness and can’t control others
How often have you said NO to God’s plan because of fear, not feeling deserving, or knowing all the answers beforehand? Is there something in your life that you are saying NO to now? I encourage you to say YES and to trust God that you are being led to the next right thing in your life. You can do it, trust yourself and God. Your answers are within.
I retired at the age of 62 as an Alcohol and Drug Therapist. I loved helping alcoholics and drug addicts find themselves and sobriety. It was a very rewarding career of 20 years and I was grateful for the opportunity to help save lives. Unfortunately, they all didn’t make it and some died from the disease.
My book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” was published when I retired and I became a Spiritual Life Coach. I led women’s retreats, was a speaker on a cruise ship, led a women’s retreat in Bermuda, had a weekly radio show, and was an inspirational speaker.
When I followed my heart and moved to Maui 10 ½ years ago, at the age of 65, my plan was to continue doing what I was doing. There were churches on every corner and I figured I would easily get on the speaking circuit. Little did I know, God had other plans that I didn’t know about.
I was only on Maui a week when I heard the small, still voice of God say, “I don’t want you to do ANYTHING. I want you to learn how to BE.” I was very surprised because I thought I knew how to BE. After all, I was a therapist and taught others how to BE.
By the grace of God, I listened to the voice within and didn’t do anything but relax and enjoy my life. I took long walks and enjoyed the birds and beauty all around me. I was blessed to share a two-bedroom condo with a couple that overlooked the ocean and I only paid $300 a month for 6 months.
At first, it was hard for me to relax without feeling guilty. I have several signs around the house that say RELAX. The little voice inside said, “You should be doing something to have value and worth. Your lazy and not contributing to society if you do nothing.”
What has been revealed to me over these past 10 ½ years was that I was a DOER. I felt more comfortable DOING than BEING. My value came from doing, producing, fixing, and achieving. I was a BUSYAHOLIC/RUSHAHOLIC. Relaxing and BEING felt like I was wasting time. Heaven forbid, I should waste time doing nothing. I am grateful I have learned how to BE, relax and GO WITH THE FLOW and do nothing.
Even though you may not be at the age of retirement and still have to work, you can still carve out time to BE and RELAX and ENJOY and not feel guilty when you are doing NOTHING.
Learning how to BE and living in the present moment has brought me to a place of indescribable JOY. I have never been happier and more alive than I am today. Henry Nouwen writes, “Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.”
Here are some things that bring me joy and not in any particular order.
· Daily walks and looking into someone’s eyes, smiling and greeting them with “Good morning.”
· Snuggling on the couch with our dog Kobe next to me.
· Sharing my faith with a stranger and writing a weekly blog to inspire others.
· Spending sacred time with my children and grandchildren.
· Spending time with Larry laughing and playing together.
· Sitting on our lanai and watching the sunset or sunrise.
· Reading a book at night in bed before going to sleep.
· Tending to my garden and watching the flowers grow.
· Walking the beach and swimming in the ocean.
· Sending inspirational pictures and sayings to friends.
· Learning how to make delicious, nutritious meals.
· Going out to breakfast or lunch with a friend.
· Surrounding myself with beauty and color. I LOVE color and only wear colors that I love, especially purple.
· Meditating, prayer and listening to the voice of God within.
What brings you JOY? Whatever it is, do it more often. It is a choice to be joyful. Today I Choose JOY. How about you?
This week is the 10th anniversary of moving to Maui. It’s hard to believe I have been living here for 10 years and so much has changed; I’m a married woman, live in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean, and we just published our book together. I could never have imagined what my life looks like today.
I came across a magazine advertisement this week that was written 10 years ago, the week before I moved to Maui. It said, “Join Pat Hastings on Norwegian Spirit Holistic Cruise – Pat was selected to be one of the speakers on the Holistic Cruise to Mayan Country. During the cruise, Hastings will present “How to Say No to Others and Yes to Yourself.” I met so many wonderful people and have many fond memories of the fun we had.
There was a time when I didn’t say no to others because I thought it was selfish. I put others first and me last. I looked to others for my answers, rather than go within. If I hadn’t learned this skill of saying no and how to love myself, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I have no problem saying no today and speaking up if something doesn’t feel right.
I believe keeping our vibration high (in gratitude, peace, and love) at this time of such “unrest” is crucial for ourselves and the world. We are given the opportunity to choose love or fear in all areas of our lives. It’s not that we don’t feel our feelings and do a spiritual bypass. We allow ourselves to feel sad, angry, disappointed, or fearful. We feel our feelings and then let them go and trust in the divine plan for our lives. There is nothing we can do about what is happening on the “OUTSIDE” of us. All we can control is what is happening “INSIDE” of us.
We keep our vibration high through self-care and self-love. If we don’t love ourselves, we will not be able to love others. Below are ways to practice self-care. I invite you to look it over and pick 1 or 2 to practice. Ask Spirit for help and to show you which area is most important for your growth and highest good.
I see my growth and where I’ve grown with saying no, asking for what I want, setting boundaries, and spending time alone. Spirit is inviting me to practice “stepping back.”
What do I mean by practicing “stepping back?”
- I give my opinion ONLY when asked.
- I don’t judge others, especially when they have a different perspective or behavior (mask-no mask, vaccine-no vaccine, etc.) I may not like or approve of another’s choices and behaviors, but it is their journey, not mine.
- I don’t gossip, especially in the name of love.
- I don’t complain, but “accept what is” and focus on what I do have.
For example, I was taking my walk on the path today. I started to judge and tell myself a “story” about someone who didn’t stop to talk to me (especially when I see them talking to others.) When I became aware I was judging the person and telling myself a “story” I stopped myself and chose love instead.
It’s impossible to “step back” and not judge or complain on my own power. I know I will slip many times. The key is to become aware when I’m judging or complaining and forgive myself and ask Spirit for help. It motivates me to realize that when I judge another person, I am judging MYSELF because we are ONE and connected.
I made an important decision this week without consulting Larry first. When I shared it with him, he asked, “Do you want my opinion?” I looked at him and said, “Thank you, but I’m not asking for your opinion.” It felt so empowering to speak my truth and to trust my own counsel and God’s guidance within. I’m grateful he wasn’t defensive and has learned he doesn’t have to fix me.
Let us remember the truth of who we are and who God is in our lives. This is the “Great Awakening” and it will be ugly at times as darkness comes into the light. You and I are the light in the darkness and are invited to shine our lights to show the way for others. We are safe and protected and our faith will carry us through the storms.
I love how Spirit works in my life and guides me for my highest good & for the good of all involved. For the past 3 years when I returned to Rhode Island I’ve led a women’s retreat at my daughter, Mary’s, farm in W. Greenwich. The retreats have been very powerful and I looked forward to seeing all of the women each year. It was like a big reunion sharing with one another about how God answered our prayers.
As I started to prepare the retreat for this year I felt stressed thinking about marketing it and trying to get it all together while here in Maui. As I prayed about it and sat with it, I decided not to do it because it just didn’t feel right in my gut. I have learned to trust my gut for it has rarely been wrong. It’s when I don’t trust my gut and my feelings that I get in trouble.
I felt relieved and peaceful after I made my decision not to do the retreat. When I feel peaceful, it is ways an indication that I am aligned with Spirit. It’s after I make my decision that the peace comes, not before. I have learned that when one door closes, another one opens if it is meant to be and the best thing is that I don’t have to push the door to open. I trust that whatever is to come to me and is mine will come at the perfect and right time.
About a month ago, my dear friend, Donna, called and asked me if I would like to be the speaker at the “Women of Faith” dinner at the Rehoboth Congregational Church. Of course, I said, “Yes.” I am thrilled to be able to share my story and all that God has done in my life. Donna wants to dedicate the dinner to a woman in the congregation who died a few years ago. This woman loved to say “Aloha” and, in fact, gave Donna a booklet called “The Aloha Spirit – The Little Pink Booklet of Aloha.”
What an honor it will be for me to share my personal experience of living “aloha” and to share what the Hawaiians teach about aloha. In the Hawaiian language, aloha stands for much more than just “hello” or “goodbye” or “love.” Its deeper meaning is the “joyful (oha) sharing (alo) of life energy (ha) in the present (alo).”
As you share this energy, you become attuned to the Universal Power that the Hawaiians call mana. And the loving use of this incredible Power is the secret for attaining true health, happiness, prosperity and success. I will be sharing a technique in HI which enhances your power to bless by increasing your personal energy.
I bought a new “Hawaiian dress” at a yard sale about a year ago that has been sitting in my closet that I’ve never worn. God knew I would need it for this talk with the Hawaiian theme. I love how God provides before I even ask.
As I thought about the title and what God wanted me to share with the women, what came to mind was the importance of self-love. Like many of us, I didn’t know how to love myself growing up nor was I encouraged to love myself. In fact, just the opposite was taught. I was scolded for being “selfish” and “conceited” and to focus on other’s needs rather than my own.
It’s been a long journey of self -discovery and healing. Part of the process for me has been identifying old beliefs that no longer served me so that I could become the woman I am today and the woman God created me to be. I know, for sure, that I would not be living in Maui or have met my soul mate, Larry, if I hadn’t identified the belief that I don’t deserve good things in my life.
There were many things I learned (after my divorce of 30 years) while I was without a partner for 15 years. Being single and focusing on myself has been the best thing that could have happened to me. I learned the importance of self-love and to trust God and myself. This is truly what my spiritual journey has been about.
I hope you will join us for the “Women of Faith” dinner. The title of the talk is “The Power of Self-Love to manifest your Deepest Desires.” I will be sharing my story of how I manifested my deepest desires. I would love to meet some of you who faithfully read my blog every week. I look forward to seeing old friends and meeting new friends. I look forward to sharing the love and aloha.
This Easter Sunday was very special to me as it is the 1st year anniversary of my “Awakening.” Last Easter, Larry joined me for the Easter Sunday celebration at Unity Church. I was so touched when he gave me a beautiful flower lei right before the service. I remember during the service, praying, “God, open my heart if Larry is my soul mate.” I was just beginning to have some romantic stirrings towards him after being best friends for 2 years. I believe it was that prayer that awakened me to the reality of love right before my eyes. I also know it wasn’t God’s timing until that very moment that my heart was opened. Although we were best friends and had built our relationship on trust and respect, we each had some inner work to do before we moved to the next level.
I am amazed at all that has happened over the past year because I opened my heart to love. One year later, we are celebrating Easter Sunday service together again and Larry surprised me with a beautiful flower lei. My heart overflowed with joy and gratitude. He not only surprised me with a lei, but he purchased leis for my 2 girlfriends, Kati and Catherine, who were attending the service with us. How much better does it get than this?
As you all know, Larry and I moved in together last week. It was a big step for both of us, giving up our freedom and coming together to build our life together as a couple. For me, it feels like we have been together forever because it’s just flowed with peace, ease and grace. I love him living here and playing together. What a gift at this time in our lives to be together in love.
I asked Larry if he would be open to share with you his experience of our relationship and moving in together. Here is what he wrote:
“Pat and I had been discussing moving in together for some time. I had been living alone for the past 3 years and was very happy in my condo. The thought of moving was not pleasant, even though Pat and I are very compatible, love one another and find much joy in being together. Like most people, I don’t necessarily like change, so it was a big decision for me to make.
Even though I felt some fear, it seemed like the best thing to do. I am learning not to worry and control things, but to allow Spirit to do the work. I am also learning to choose love instead of fear. During this process, I realized how much of my decision making over the years has been fear- based. I often tortured myself with thoughts like, “If I do this, I am afraid this will happen and if I don’t do that, I am afraid that will happen.”
When I finally made the decision that the move was for my highest good and for the good of our relationship, everything seemed to just fall into place. Our mantra or prayer was, Everything will flow with peace, ease and grace. Whenever I felt anxious about the move, Pat reminded me about the mantra and we would say it together. It really worked because “we get what we expect” and I was expecting it to flow with peace, ease and grace.
Here are a couple of examples: I was feeling some concern about who would help me move the furniture and heavy stuff from my condo. I really value the relationship I have with the folks who owned the condo I rented. When I gave them my notice, they were really disappointed that I was leaving. To my surprise, they offered to move me to my new home in Maui Meadows. The move went, as we expected, with peace, ease and grace. Not being a “techie”, I was concerned about setting up my computer and smart TV. They not only moved me in, but helped set up everything up all in one day. Pat has shared in her past blog about finding the beautiful stress-less recliner chair valued at $2000 for $800 delivered to our home. I am now enjoying the recliner every day and I love it.
My spiritual journey is similar to Pat’s and our desire is to be vessels of love in whatever we do & wherever we go. In now living together, we are creating a rhythm that takes compatibility, flexibility and patience. It is a perfect opportunity to develop and deepen our love relationship. It is my spiritual belief that Love is the most powerful energy known to humankind. For me, LOVE IS GOD. I do not allow fear to have any power in my life any more. I bring everything to love because that is where the power is and Love will never fail me. The more that I allow myself to be a vessel of love, the more love comes into my life.
Those of you who follow Pat’s blog realize what an inspiration she is. With her beautiful blue eyes and lovely smile, she lights up the room when she walks in. My nickname for her is “Sparkle.” She has been and always will be an inspiration to me. She has encouraged me to love myself, to be positive and to trust the power of love.
I am settling into my new “home” and am enjoying our free and easy stress- less lifestyle. My heart is full of gratitude for what Love has brought into my life. I am happy and look forward to walking this path of love with Pat as we grow spiritually as a couple and as individuals. We are given many opportunities every day to grow and become more conscious. Sometimes that’s scary, but it’s nice to know someone has my back. I look forward to continuing this journey and welcoming all the opportunities that will arise. “
Thank you God for all the blessings in my life. Thank you Larry for coming into my life and loving me the way you do. My journey has been enriched and deepened because of your love and presence. Although Larry doesn’t see it in the future, who knows, we might even write a book about our “Love Story.”
We all want to be appreciated; it feels good to be appreciated when we have done something nice for someone else. I go out of my way to appreciate others when they have done something nice or been kind to me. I love to compliment others when they have something pretty on or have beautiful eyes.
But, there is a problem when I obsessively look (outside) to others to love, accept and appreciate me. When that happens, I leave myself and lose myself because I want someone to fill the void, instead of me filling it with my own love, acceptance and appreciation. It’s been an interesting week to witness my “old behaviors rearing their ugly head.” Thankfully, I have the tools to come HOME to myself and take my power back.
We all have the power to depreciate or appreciate ourselves. The choice is ours. To depreciate means something has lost its value over the years. To appreciate means its value has increased and we recognize the quality, significance or magnitude of something. I am choosing to appreciate myself and recognize my value.
I shared with Larry, “I’m feeling stressed and I’m tired.” I know that moving is one of the top stressors, especially when combining households and letting go of things that are no longer useful to make room for Larry’s things. I’m also helping Larry get ready to move here and get rid of things he doesn’t need. On top of that, although I have truly enjoyed it, I have had friends staying at my home for the past few months. In addition, I have been preparing for a 4- day retreat which is the weekend before Larry moves in.
Although Larry was attentive and understanding when I shared my stress with him, I didn’t think he was really able to grasp the magnitude of my experience of stress. Perhaps I wanted sympathy, even though I said I wasn’t complaining, just acknowledging my feelings. I felt annoyed with him, which is an indication I am giving my power away. Deep down, I was looking to him to appreciate me and say, “You are doing such a great job and I would be stressed if I were you too.”
Looking to others, no matter how much they want to help or love us cannot and will not fill the “hole in our soul.” It will never be enough. They are not meant to fill us up, so no matter how hard they try, it is futile.
It is only God that can fill the “hole in our soul” because that is how we were created. What I have learned is that I need to give myself the love, acceptance and appreciation that I crave from others. Instead of looking to Larry to appreciate the magnitude of my stress, I needed to appreciate myself. It’s my appreciation that I crave, not the world’s.
When this awareness came to the light while I was praying, it felt like there was a shift inside of me and the stress lifted. I still had all same things to do, but I felt a new freedom inside. What I thought I needed from Larry, I gave to myself. This is what I did to re-focus and come HOME to myself.
- I wrote a list of 50 things that I appreciated about myself. What I appreciate, appreciate
- I listened to my son, Tim’s, visualization on loving, accepting and appreciating ourselves
- I focused on what was good and working in my life
- I increased my daily gratitude
- I forgave myself for giving my power away and leaving myself
- I focused on giving myself pleasure and having fun; i.e. swimming, walking, dancing, snorkeling
- I had a massage
- When I went to bed, I thought about all the things I appreciate about myself.
I depreciate my value and worth when I look to others for my value. I appreciate my value and worth when I give it to myself. Here are some things we do to depreciate ourselves on a daily basis. Which ones can you relate to?
- When we judge ourselves to be “not good enough” or strong enough
- When we say YES when we mean NO
- When we choose fear instead of love
- When we don’t speak our truth and live in integrity
- When we don’t allow ourselves to feel our feelings
- When we want to please others at the expense of ourselves
- When we don’t trust ourselves and our intuition
- When we beat up on ourselves and live from the “shoulds”
- When we try to control others
- When we procrastinate about making important decisions (or small ones)
- When we think we have all the answers and don’t listen to others
- When we don’t pray/meditate and depend on Spirit
- When we don’t take time for ourselves to enjoy life and use our gifts
- When we don’t live in the present moment and worry about the past or the future
- When we don’t know how to relax and just BE
- When we are unable or unwilling to forgive
- When we medicate our feelings through addictions i.e. alcohol, drugs, shopping, busyness, food, gambling, codependency
I am grateful for the daily lessons to grow and live my best life. We must be willing to go within and listen to our souls. We must be willing to change and do whatever we need to do to heal the “hole in our souls.” We have the POWER to change because the POWER is within us to live a magnificent life. I encourage you to live your life to the fullest, because you are worth it. We are not promised tomorrow.
As I sat to mediate this morning, I asked God what He wanted me to write about. I then remembered a beautiful clock that hung on my kitchen wall over 35 years ago. It said, “GOD’S TIMING IS PERFECT.” Little did I know then how true that would be in my life.
I read something that same day that said, “You will get there when you are meant to get there and not a moment sooner. So relax, breathe and be patient.”
It occurred to me that we are always “waiting” for something to happen in our lives: waiting to graduate, waiting to get married, waiting for a house to sell, waiting to meet your soul mate, waiting for a new job, waiting for money, waiting in line at the supermarket or your food to be served in a restaurant, waiting for a baby to be born, waiting to leave a marriage that is dead, waiting for your adult children to leave the nest, waiting for chemo to end or start, waiting to lose weight, waiting to go on vacation, waiting to start a new job and the list goes on and on. Are you waiting for something?
When we are waiting for something to happen, I like to think of it as “being in the hallway of our lives.” It is in this place that we learn to trust. One door may be closed and the other hasn’t opened yet. It can be scary because we don’t know when or what the new door will be when it is opened (or if it will be opened.) We may want to control the outcome and try to make things happen. We may complain, get angry, bang on the door to open or try to make things go our way. This can drive us crazy. I don’t know about you, but I don’t particularly like to wait. I want what I want when I want it and I can be impatient and ask why it’s taking so long for something to manifest. After all, I think I’m doing everything I know how to do to manifest what I want.
The good news for me is that I am learning the art of waiting, being patient, grateful and trusting God’s divine plan to unfold. It feels so good and it truly is living heaven on earth.
I have been in the hallway many times in my life and have learned many things while waiting in the hallway.
I learned to trust God’s timing
I learned to surrender
I learned to trust my intuition
I learned to let go
I learned to be patient
I learned that I’m not in control
I learned to rely on God’s grace in all things
I learned how to BE and relax
I learned that God’s plan is so much better than my plan
I learned to be peaceful and watch things unfold in God’s perfect timing
I learned to love myself
My personal experience has been that it is only when I am ready body, mind and spirit that I change and consequently things change in my life. I need to learn my lessons and they will take as long as I need them to take. I don’t need to rush the process or judge myself that I am doing something wrong. I need to trust that all is in God’s perfect divine timing.
I stayed in a marriage until I was strong enough and confident enough that I could take care of myself and ready to leave. I couldn’t have left one minute earlier than I did. When a flower is ready to bloom, it will bloom. We cannot make it bloom until it is ready. A baby will not be born until it is ready to be born.
So, wherever you are in your life, whatever transition you are in, rejoice, relax and be grateful for God is doing a mighty work in you and transforming you on the inside. You are being prepared for something new.
I was in the “hallway of my life” as I waited for my soul mate to arrive. Was I always patient and trusting? Absolutely not. As I reflect on the last 12 years, I recognize my personal growth and how I had to prepare myself for the love that God had promised me and for the depth of love I would receive and give to my soul mate.
I would like to share a few things that I did to prepare myself for the love of my life: I put God first in my life, I became my own best friend and loved myself to the best of my ability. I spent time alone playing and having fun. I didn’t depend on someone else to make me happy. I made myself happy because I knew happiness was an inside job. I knew what I wanted and didn’t settle for less. I asked for what I wanted and said no when I wanted to. I blessed others when they had what I wanted.
I am in such gratitude that I didn’t give up and continued to BELIEVE in God’s promise. Because I learned to love myself and follow my heart, I’m able to love in a way that I’ve never loved before and be loved like I’ve never been loved before. Now that is good news!
My prayer for you, wherever you are in your life is that you will continue to trust God’s perfect timing and plan for your life. I would love to hear from you how God has or is working in your life.
My primary relationship is with myself. As I learn to love and appreciate myself, I will receive the love and appreciation that I desire from others. I must give it to myself until I am so full and overflowing with love that when I give to another, I will come from a place of love and joy. As I learn to love and accept myself, my energy will vibrate in an uplifting way and, since we are all part of one big energy field, ALL of us are infused and uplifted by me as I learn to love myself.
I love how the Universe works and provides me with everything that I need and in the perfect and right timing. Of course, I love when God provides the big things (like a home on the ocean and my soul mate), but sometimes it’s the small things that get my attention. For example, my workshop, “Loving Yourself is the Key to True Happiness” was yesterday.
Whenever I led a workshop in the past, I always used a chalk board or erasable board to write on as the participants shared. I thought about buying one, but then forgot about it. My friend, Ellen, arrived first and handed me a gift and a card. She said, “Pat, here is your house warming gift that I forgot to bring with me on the day of your house blessing.” I smiled when I opened it and knew why she gave it to me 5 minutes before the workshop started.
It was an address book with an erasable board and pen in the front of the book. I was able to use it during the workshop to write on as the women shared. It was small but perfect and did the job. Talk about delivering what I need when I need it. Thank you God.
It was an amazing and powerful day of sharing, introspection and healing for the women. The oldest woman who attended was 87 and the youngest woman was only 29 years old. What was incredible was that the age differences didn’t matter because they shared openly from their hearts and related to each others struggles regarding loving themselves.
They were each given a handout and asked to identify behaviors that were self-loving and behaviors that weren’t loving to themselves. Some of the common threads were:
*Not knowing what they wanted and being able to ask for it
*Not loving their bodies and accepting all parts of it
*Not being in touch with their feelings and able to express them
What a glorious day as we danced together in the closing circle to “God meant that I should dance.”
Loving Yourself is the Key to True Happiness
Connect with Yourself
Slow down and get quiet enough to listen to your Spirit, God, inner guide, intuition and spend less time listening to other people’s opinions or the loud, critical voice inside your own mind. One of the best practices for cultivating the ability to hear your inner guiding system is meditation. If finding the time to sit quietly is not realistic at the moment, an even simpler life-changing practice is to make daily mundane activities—such as brushing our teeth or standing in line at the grocery store—a time for quiet reflection. In these moments, ask for guidance and listen for some clear answers. When we connect with ourselves, it gives us access to an inner abundance of wisdom and knowledge. This inner source of wisdom will always guide us to our best right actions.
Set an Intention to Be Happy
Despite what we may have been taught, happiness is as simple as just choosing to be happy. When we truly believe that happiness is a choice we will instantly empower ourselves in any situation, whether it’s a relationship, job, or pattern of thinking that’s been creating judgments, worry, doubt, fear, or confusion. The moment we choose to perceive things differently by choosing a loving perception of ourselves, others, and our circumstances, we not only strengthen our capacity to feel happy, we also open ourselves up to limitless possibilities where there once was seemingly no solution. T
This is a lifelong practice, because when we’re not monitoring our thoughts, they have a tendency of veering back into fear and worry. One of the simplest and most profound ways we can align with loving perceptions each day is to practice setting an intention every morning when we wake up. This intention can be very simple: Just say to yourself, I choose happiness—and feel it.
Most of us don’t know what “surrender” means. It’s the opposite of the way many of us operate, which is by attempting to control outcomes and situations and to make things happen. In contrast, surrender occurs when we release our need to control things, and instead choose to place a higher level of trust and faith in a power greater than ourselves and in the process of life.
When we tap into this relaxed energy, we allow that which we desire to flow to us in a miraculous way. The job, relationship, or whatever we are envisioning and desiring for our lives is all on its way—and when we surrender our plans for the time line and the form in which we think it should arrive, we allow an even bigger and better outcome to take place. When we are not fearfully boxing ourselves in, we are able to fearlessly say YES to limitless opportunities for joy to enter our lives.
As I sat down to the blank piece of paper in front of me, I didn’t know what I was going to write about. I prayed and asked God, “Please guide me and help me share what I need to share.”
Last night while sitting on the lanai, with Larry, I turned to him and said, “You are amazing.” He is the most loving, kind, caring, gentle, patient and compassionate man I know. It is clear to me how much he cares and goes out of his way to love and help others. I think this is one of the reasons I fell in love with him.
He turned to me, looked deeply into my eyes and said, “It takes one to know one.” Of course, I’ve heard this before many times, but for some reason, it went straight to my heart and kind of shook me up. Could I really accept that the qualities I see so clearly in him were also in me? Was that why he fell in love with me?
Could I be that loving, kind, caring, gentle, patient and compassionate? It is one thing to think maybe I had these qualities in my head, but to accept them with my heart and embrace and CLAIM them as my own was something very different. I felt excited because I was allowing this truth to penetrate my being and soul. I asked myself, “If I continue to love Larry and see his good qualities, would I continue to love myself and see my good qualities?” That felt really good and I knew that I had received a gift that I wanted to cherish and deepen. If I believed this about myself, my actions and reactions would naturally demonstrate that.
I have heard that what I see in others is also in me, both the light and dark side of ourselves. We truly are mirrors for one another. For most of us, it is easier to see the dark side and the things we don’t like about ourselves than it is to see the light and our magnificence.
I had just finished writing this part of the blog when God didn’t waste any time and gave me the opportunity to see and embrace the dark side of me. This is the human or unhealed part of me that wants to judge, be right, gossip and defend myself.
This didn’t feel quite as good as seeing me as loving, kind and compassionate. But I knew it was a gift and invitation to love all parts of me and ask God to heal me.
The details of what happened don’t matter, what matters is how I moved through it and the tools I used to free myself. First of all, I needed to allow myself to feel my anger at what I “perceived” as wrong doing to me. For much of my life, being a people pleaser, I was out of touch with my anger and just pushed it down, ate over it, or stayed busy over it.
I allowed myself to feel my anger and write about everything I was angry about. I didn’t hold back because I knew it was necessary for my process and transformation. When it felt complete that I had released all of the anger inside of me, I then gave it to God and used a powerful forgiveness tool that I’ve used for years.
I prayed and affirmed, “I have attracted this into my life for my highest good. She is not wrong and I am not right.” There is always some resistance at first when I say this because I want to make someone else wrong that I believe has hurt, disrespected or wronged me. I may have to do it several times until it becomes a part of me and I believe it. I know that whenever I make someone else wrong, (and me right,) I am a victim. I don’t want to live my life as a victim with unforgiveness and resentment in my heart. So it is a choice that I make to free myself and it has never failed me.
I then prayed, “I release judgment and send light and love whenever the thought came up about what was said or done to me.” This is a powerful affirmation and works instantly. I cannot give myself the luxury of ruminating or obsessing about this because it hurts me and keeps me in bondage. It says in scripture. “Be transformed by the renewal of your mind.”
It is amazing how “free” I felt after I did this spiritual work and cleansing. The truth is that, “What other people think about me is none of my business.” My business is to love; to love God first, and myself and others to the best of my ability.
I want my light to shine and to live my life being a loving, kind and compassionate person. I want to accept, love and embrace the light and dark parts of me because if I love myself this way, I am able to love others in the same way.
“Every positive change, every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness invites a rite of passage. Each time we ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception.” Dan Millman
What a week of ups and downs, letting go and trusting God for my highest good and that of my loved ones. I wrote last week that my soul mate had arrived and how wonderful it was to have this man in my life. I was flying high and didn’t expect to plunge into the depth of fear that I did because the honeymoon appeared to be over.
Each time we ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation.
Larry has had a medical problem for the last 2 years that the doctors have been unable to diagnose. It comes and goes and has responded some to different treatments. This past week, all hell broke loose and his symptoms were severe and worse than ever before. It was very scary watching him suffer and not knowing what to do or what it was from.
I was desperate and called my friend, Carole, in RI and asked her to put Larry on the prayer line. When she called the next person on the prayer line and described Larry’s symptoms, the person was familiar with the symptoms and told Carole what she thought it might be. Carole gave me the information and we googled it. Sure enough, it was almost exactly Larry’s symptoms that the doctors hadn’t been able to diagnose for 2 years. Talk about a prayer being answered immediately. Thank you God.
Larry is now in the process of many positive changes and we are trusting God for healing. People have “showed up” in his life to help him with his diet, essential oils and herbs. Another friend, Mary, who is a healer, did a long distance energy healing with him on the phone. It has been just one week since his symptoms were so severe. I am happy to report that he is 75% better.
We each have our journey of faith to walk, hand- picked by God to help us grow stronger and more dependent on God. I am not exempt from this, for sure. I asked myself, “How does my faith grow and deepen?” I suspect for many of us, it is the trials, challenges that we face each day that deepens our faith.
It is my belief that I attract EVERYTHING into my life for my highest good and that even before I came into this world, God and I made an agreement what I would experience for my soul to grow. This gives me comfort and a willingness to trust God that all is well.
Not only has Larry experienced healing and transformation, but I have too. I have always been strong and been the one that others come to for help. I didn’t feel strong and asked for help. I allowed my friends to be there for me while I was in the depth of my fear. This is not an easy thing to do, allowing myself to be so vulnerable and real. I called my friend, Joseph, in tears because I was so scared. He listened and loved me just as I was. My friend, Sandy, came over my house and when I opened the door, I almost fell into her arms with tears. She hugged me and then sat and held my hand as I allowed myself to feel my feelings. I wanted to be STRONG for Larry and didn’t want to share my fears with him, but I couldn’t help myself when I saw him and fell into his arms and cried.
I knew my fear was coming from a very deep place as I couldn’t stop crying. I had a flashback of my mother dying in front of me when I was 20 years old. I remember feeling so helpless and hopeless as I was unable to save her. I then realized that the fear I was feeling about Larry was fear that I was going to lose him when I just found him.
Now that this is behind me, I feel so blessed and grateful for this experience. I allowed myself to be loved in a very deep, sacred way and I allowed others to love me and SEE the real me. This is a gift to all of us.
On Sunday, I had a celebration and invited my friends to a house blessing at my new home. It was a glorious night and I felt like a “Sparkling Queen” as each person shared their wishes and love for me and my new home. Larry bought me a beautiful lei to celebrate and my friends, Myia and Garrett, made me a lei from their Plumeria tree. I felt so loved and cherished and I thank all my friends for making it so special.
I look forward to a peaceful, exciting, and adventurous week with God. I am grateful this “RIGHT OF PASSAGE” is over.
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