This has been a week of “uncovering” and releasing unconscious beliefs that no longer serve me and have robbed me of my peace my entire life. I cried a lot as it was painful to feel feelings that I didn’t know were there because I thought I had dealt with them. It felt like the original wounds of “neglect and abuse” were triggered and brought to the surface to be released and healed.
I gave myself lots of “quiet” time, prayer and meditation to “go within.” I know that when I call on God for help, I am connected to the sacred part of myself. It is my belief that whatever happens in my life has been planned in the mind of God and is the perfect opportunity to give myself self- love, rather than looking outside for external validation. When I look outside for validation, it feels like an insatiable appetite that cannot ever be filled. I must give love to myself as it’s my own love and God’s love that I really desire. Nothing else will satisfy and be enough.
My ego thought system was jabbing me left and right as I got caught up in comparing myself, judging and not feeling like there was enough. Are you as surprised as I am when your ego “shows up” unexpectedly and uninvited? You are going along and enjoying your life, feeling loved and grateful and then BANG, you are not feeling so good and you don’t know why. I know I shouldn’t be surprised when ego shows up, but I usually am. It takes me a little time to realize what’s going on because the attack feels so REAL even though I know the truth that the ego is not real and only an illusion. Once I identify the ego thoughts, it loses its power. Are you able to recognize the tactics of your ego and the vulnerable areas of your life?
Spirit showed me that I had a choice; to stay in the “muck” of my negative ego thinking and the stories of not feeling loved, feeling judged by another’s insensitive remark or focusing on what was missing or I could RISE ABOVE it into the energy of LIGHT and LOVE that is all around me.
Message from the Holy Spirit:
“You are still looking outside of yourself for validation and to know that you are loved and lovable. This is a deep-seated pattern that is being broken now. Don’t let yourself get caught up in things that don’t matter or are unimportant. What difference does any of it make? Rise up and only see the LOVE and BEAUTY around you, not the “perceived” problems, like what someone did or didn’t do or said or didn’t say or what’s missing. Don’t let yourself be robbed of your peace. All you need to do is BE LOVE, RECEIVE LOVE, LIVE LOVE and SEND LOVE.”
In prayer, Spirit showed me what to do when I am disturbed, disappointed, angry or hurt with someone. It is a process, and depending on the situation, it will take some time. It is not to be rushed or pushed.
FEEL YOUR FEELINGS
Don’t deny or judge yourself for the feelings you are experiencing. They are your feelings and they are not right or wrong. TO FEEL IS TO HEAL. Write your feelings in a journal. You can share them if you want with someone you love and trust and that won’t judge you. You may need to talk to the person who offended you and clarify what happened or you may be able to just let it go because you realize it’s not important and you don’t want to waste your energy. I have found it is important to feel my feelings for as long as it takes (and not what someone else thinks) to move through them and process them.
RISE ABOVE THE “MUCK”
The muck is the negative energy: worrying, judgmental, comparing, jealousy, resentments, fears and petty problems that you are experiencing. Stop the stories in your head and the obsessing about what happened or what didn’t happen or what you want to happen. Accept what is. It’s not worth losing your peace about what someone did or didn’t do because it doesn’t serve you. How people treat you or love you has nothing to do with you or your worthiness. It’s important to not take things personally and to know it’s not about you. We have no idea what that person is suffering inside. It’s good to remember that if we had their life, we would be doing the same thing.
LET IT GO
Saying the serenity prayer is always helpful in letting go. Write a letter and bury it or rip it up. I know I have let go of something when I don’t want to withdraw from the person that hurt me and I don’t feel any emotion or charge when I think about it.
If you are still struggling with the situation when you think about it, just repeatedly SEND LOVE. I had to SEND LOVE over and over again to the person who hurt me until it no longer bothered me. Of course, stay in an attitude of GRATITUDE for the opportunities for your soul to grow.
It helps me to remember that everything happens for a reason and is for my highest good.
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