Browsing all articles tagged with Pat Hastings

Letting go of unhealthy relationships

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Jan
19

“Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.”  Matt Kahn

Several friends have shared with me this week about important relationships that ended that were very painful.  Their first response was to blame themselves and think they had done something wrong. It’s very painful to go through the process of letting go of a relationship if it was your close/best friend that you thought would be a forever friend. It took me over a year to work through the pain of losing my best friend, forgiving her, and accepting the relationship was over.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced relationships that have ended, some a slow death and others a sudden death. I’ve experienced both.  For me, the sudden death of a relationship, especially when I didn’t see it coming and didn’t choose it was more painful.

I had to allow myself to go through the grief process: denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. Even though I knew intellectually that people change, interests change, marital status’ change, and this all plays a part in going separate ways, I had to allow myself to feel my feelings.  

I came across an article by Anthony Hopkins that I thought said it all.

“Let go of people who aren’t ready to love you yet! This is the hardest thing you’ll have to do in your life, and it will also be the most important thing:

            Stop giving your love to those who aren’t ready to love you yet.

Stop hard conversations with people who don’t want to change.

Stop showing up for people who are indifferent to your presence.

           Stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you.

I know your instincts do everything to win the good mercy of everyone around you, but it’s also the impulse that will steal your time, energy, and mental, physical, and spiritual health.

When you start manifesting yourself in your life, completely, with joy, interest, and commitment, not everyone will be ready to find you in this place of pure sincerity.

That doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are. That means you have to stop loving people who don’t want to love you yet.” ~ Anthony Hopkins

Today, as I have learned to love and appreciate myself, I have attracted relationships that are healthy, honest, loving, and open. I am living my life with presence and intention. I savor every moment as I am not promised tomorrow.  I no longer change anything about myself simply because someone else cannot see, understand, or accept it. I am mindful of the traits and things that I need to work on to improve myself.

I am grateful and focus on what’s good in my life and celebrate the woman I am becoming by keeping my vibration high with love and gratitude. Today, I understand that I am not responsible for others’ feelings or actions. All I can change is myself and am responsible for my physical, mental, and spiritual health.

Are you ready to let go of people who aren’t ready to love you yet?  Remember Matt Kahn’s quote: “Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.”

Importance of self-love

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Jan
19

This week is the 10th anniversary of moving to Maui.  It’s hard to believe I have been living here for 10 years and so much has changed; I’m a married woman, live in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean, and we just published our book together. I could never have imagined what my life looks like today. 

I came across a magazine advertisement this week that was written 10 years ago, the week before I moved to Maui. It said, “Join Pat Hastings on Norwegian Spirit Holistic Cruise –  Pat was selected to be one of the speakers on the Holistic Cruise to Mayan Country. During the cruise, Hastings will present “How to Say No to Others and Yes to Yourself.” I met so many wonderful people and have many fond memories of the fun we had.

There was a time when I didn’t say no to others because I thought it was selfish. I put others first and me last. I looked to others for my answers, rather than go within. If I hadn’t learned this skill of saying no and how to love myself, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I have no problem saying no today and speaking up if something doesn’t feel right.

I believe keeping our vibration high (in gratitude, peace, and love) at this time of such “unrest” is crucial for ourselves and the world. We are given the opportunity to choose love or fear in all areas of our lives. It’s not that we don’t feel our feelings and do a spiritual bypass. We allow ourselves to feel sad, angry, disappointed, or fearful.  We feel our feelings and then let them go and trust in the divine plan for our lives. There is nothing we can do about what is happening on the “OUTSIDE” of us. All we can control is what is happening “INSIDE” of us.

We keep our vibration high through self-care and self-love. If we don’t love ourselves, we will not be able to love others. Below are ways to practice self-care. I invite you to look it over and pick 1 or 2 to practice. Ask Spirit for help and to show you which area is most important for your growth and highest good.

I see my growth and where I’ve grown with saying no, asking for what I want, setting boundaries, and spending time alone. Spirit is inviting me to practice “stepping back.”

What do I mean by practicing “stepping back?”

  • I give my opinion ONLY when asked.
  • I don’t judge others, especially when they have a different perspective or behavior (mask-no mask, vaccine-no vaccine, etc.) I may not like or approve of another’s choices and behaviors, but it is their journey, not mine.
  • I don’t gossip, especially in the name of love.
  • I don’t complain, but “accept what is” and focus on what I do have.

For example, I was taking my walk on the path today.  I started to judge and tell myself a “story” about someone who didn’t stop to talk to me (especially when I see them talking to others.) When I became aware I was judging the person and telling myself a “story” I stopped myself and chose love instead.

It’s impossible to “step back” and not judge or complain on my own power. I know I will slip many times. The key is to become aware when I’m judging or complaining and forgive myself and ask Spirit for help. It motivates me to realize that when I judge another person, I am judging MYSELF because we are ONE and connected.

I made an important decision this week without consulting Larry first. When I shared it with him, he asked, “Do you want my opinion?” I looked at him and said, “Thank you, but I’m not asking for your opinion.” It felt so empowering to speak my truth and to trust my own counsel and God’s guidance within. I’m grateful he wasn’t defensive and has learned he doesn’t have to fix me.

Let us remember the truth of who we are and who God is in our lives. This is the “Great Awakening” and it will be ugly at times as darkness comes into the light. You and I are the light in the darkness and are invited to shine our lights to show the way for others. We are safe and protected and our faith will carry us through the storms.

We are waking up

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Jan
19

Happy New Year. I think we would all agree that 2020 has been a year like no other. We had no idea what was coming next and we still don’t. We are living in the unknown, which can be very uncomfortable for many. We were invited to live in the moment, choose love over fear, take one day at a time, change our perspectives, and trust and surrender to a Power greater than ourselves.

Although there has been much grief and suffering for many physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually, much good has come from it, but we often don’t hear about that. We may not see the love that is spreading in the world. Many people are “waking up” to the truth that we are all connected and ONE.

As the year comes to an end, you are invited to release the energy of 2020 through prayer, journaling, and meditation, and whatever rituals you have done in the past. What are the lessons you learned, challenges, opportunities, and “blessings” you received inside the lessons?

I participated in a powerful Solstice meditation and we were asked to reflect on the following 3 questions.

1. What am I grateful for receiving in 2020?

2. What do I want to let go of?

3. What does my soul want to say to me today?

As I reflected on the past year, Spirit showed me the “outside” world is in chaos, drama, confusion, fear, and hatred, but my “inner” world is peaceful, grateful, loving, joyful, contented, and surrendered. Here is what I’ve practiced to experience peace and love.

  • Every morning when I wake up for the past 2 decades, I affirm my intention for the day. My intention is to be peaceful, to love, to serve, and to be healthy and happy.
  • I take responsibility for what I can control: my reactions, beliefs, and perspectives. I let go of what I can’t control (people, places & things).
  • I detach from the outcome of what I put out into the world.
  • I strive to not take things personally.
  • I take back projections and am willing to see my shadow.
  • I allow myself to feel all of my feelings rather than medicate them or do a spiritual bypass.
  • I forgive myself and others and let go of judgments and resentments.

It’s not that everything was perfect because it wasn’t. I grieved the loss of a close friend, I broke my shoulder, I wasn’t able to see my children and grandchildren this year, we didn’t go to restaurants and didn’t dance.  Other than walks on the beach, we stayed home and wore masks when we went out to be safe.

Here are some of the blessings from 2020 that I am grateful for.

  • One of my children Facetimes me daily to have dinner with me.
  • My faith in God has deepened as I have let go and surrendered to “what is.”
  • Our book “It’s Never Too Late” was published.
  • My relationship with Larry has flourished and grown.
  • Gratitude is my attitude. I focus on what I have rather than what’s missing.
  • Freedom from external validation, approval, and acknowledgment.
  • My light is shining brighter than ever.
  • I am experiencing deep peace, serenity, and calm inside.

As the year ends, Spirit is inviting you to reflect on these questions.

  • What are you grateful for receiving in 2020?
  • What do you want to let go of?
  • What does your soul want to say to you today?

Let’s bring in 2021 with the energy of love, faith, and hope. This is what you have been waiting for. It will be a better world as you learn to love yourself and others. Love is all there is. Let your light shine for the world to see.  As you change yourself, you change the world.  

Relax, let go, release & surrender

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Nov
23

I listened to Songs of the Spirit 11 CD by Karen Drucker this week. The words spoke to my heart as they did when I first listened to the songs 13 years ago. I relax, I let go, I release and surrender, all is well.”

Is it easy to relax, let go and surrender? No, I don’t believe it is easy, but if I want peace in my life, I must learn to let go, trust, release, and surrender to what is happening in my life. My daily prayer and intention is to be peaceful, to love, and to serve.

I have several RELAX plaques around our house to help me to remember to RELAX and live in the present moment. The past is gone and the future is not here yet.  All we have is NOW.

For many years, I wasn’t peaceful and relaxed because I felt responsible and tried to control and fix the people I loved and cared about. I thought I knew what was best for them. How disrespectful it is to think I know the answers for someone else’s life.  I know today, that behavior was born out of unresolved childhood trauma and not wanting to feel what was inside of me (not good enough, unworthiness, fear, and perfectionism.)

Doing my best was never good enough – I had to be the BEST. I had to be the president of the sorority, the captain of the cheerleaders, and queen of the prom to feel worthy and deserving of love. I worked hard, stayed busy, and pushed myself to do more and be more. Can you relate?

I looked outside to others for the answers for my life.  I thought others knew what was best for me. I would ask friends, “What would you do and how would you feel if this happened to you?” I didn’t trust my feelings or myself and that the answers were within.

I’m grateful to say that has CHANGED! Today, my life is about ALLOWING, BEING, TRUSTING, and not pushing and planning everything. It’s living in the moment and trusting my intuition. It’s trusting Spirit to guide, protect, and provide everything that I need. My “job” is to keep my vibration high with gratitude and love. I send love and light out to the world rather than fear and worry. Can you imagine what the world would look like if we all sent out love and light instead of blaming, judging, and thinking we are separate?

What a breath of fresh air and relief to know I don’t have to control people, places, and things and that everyone is on their life’s journey and learning the lessons they need to learn. I believe it’s all perfect and in divine order.

What I can control and am responsible for is myself, my attitudes, choices, and reactions. I can choose love or fear and release beliefs that no longer serve me.  I’m responsible for my happiness because happiness is an inside job. My friend, Donna, describes me as living from pleasure to pleasure. I know what gives me pleasure and I do more and more of it. How about you? What gives you pleasure and what makes you happy?

I love the synchronicities and miracles that unfold as I let go, relax, release, and surrender. I walk on the path every morning overlooking the ocean and spread the love. I pray and ask Spirit to lead me to the people I am to talk to. It is my “joy” to smile and greet people by simply saying, “Good morning.” I introduce myself and they remember me as “Pat with the hat.”

A few months ago, I met Henry through Norma, the cat. I was impressed by Henry’s love and apparent soul connection to Norma. Henry and I became friends and often discussed our spirituality and our upcoming book, “It’s Never Too Late for Love.”

When our book came on Amazon a few weeks ago, Henry and his wife, Marcy, sent out 10 books to their friends all over the world. I cried and was overwhelmed with gratitude when Henry shared what they did. Of course, they hadn’t read the book yet but felt the love energy from what I had shared about the book.  

This is just one of many miracles that are happening as I remember the song, “I relax, I let go, I release and surrender, all is well.”

Are you able to ACCEPT what is

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Nov
10

Is there a situation or person in your life that you have difficulty accepting? It may be witnessing a loved one suffer physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. You may have health challenges, financial problems, lost your job, or just got divorced.

You may feel depressed, blocked, confused, or angry, and have lost hope. I have a dear friend who has been suffering physically for a few years and I have a difficult time accepting it. It helps to remind myself that it is not my journey and I don’t know the lessons she is learning.

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous statesAcceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life —unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.”

Eckhart Tolle states, “Accept what is AS IF I have chosen it.” I had the opportunity to practice acceptance this week. Because of Covid, our family reunion was cancelled in Rhode Island last July.  It was rescheduled for October and we planned on celebrating October birthdays (including mine).

My children and grandchildren gathered at my daughter’s farm and son’s home this week. I struggled and felt sad that I was 5,000 miles away and wouldn’t be there to celebrate with them. I miss them terribly and didn’t know when it would be safe to travel to Rhode Island again.

When I thought about Tolle’s quote “Accept what is AS IF I had chosen it,” I felt angry at first. Why would I choose to not be with my family? I loved them and wanted to be with them. Then Spirit showed me that I had chosen it. I had chosen not to travel to protect myself and Larry from Covid. Before I recognized that I had chosen it, I felt like a victim and felt sorry for myself. Poor me, I’m not there to celebrate our birthdays.

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about my children and sent them love. I had allowed the sadness to move through me. Something shifted inside of me and I felt empowered. The sadness was now replaced with JOY and peace as I thought about how bonded my 4 children are and how they love and support one another. I don’t think there could be a better gift for a mother to know her children love and support one another.

The next morning, we had a Facetime call to celebrate our birthdays. I talked to everyone and felt a part of the reunion. They were celebrating with champagne and I celebrated with water as it was 9:00 am in Maui.

After the call, as I sat and watched the waves rolling in, the tears flowed down my cheeks. I had opened my heart to give and receive love, even though we were 5,000 miles apart, it didn’t matter.

I know it would have been a very different conversation if I hadn’t accepted “What is” and that I had chosen to not attend the reunion. They would have felt my energy and that I was feeling sorry for myself.  Instead, they felt the love and gratitude that I experienced in the moment. It’s truly amazing when we change our attitude and ACCEPT WHAT IS AS IF I HAD CHOSEN IT.

“Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.”

My birthday adventure

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Oct
5

It’s my birthday week and I love to celebrate with some kind of fun adventure. A few years ago, I parasailed with my friend, Margie, and it was awesome. Another year, I paraglided over the mountains on Maui, which was breathtaking.

This year I decided to take a four-hour snorkeling trip with SeaFire Snorkeling Adventures to Molokini. It was the best time to go as the tourists are not here and few boats are in the ocean.  Molokini is a crater in the middle of the ocean that was formed from a volcano eruption. I swam with the turtles and saw fish in every color of the rainbow. The water was crystal clear blue and the coral was beautiful. It felt like I was in an ocean of Love. 

Although I loved the snorkeling adventure, what was most memorable was the kindness and LOVE I received from one of the staff members named, Kelly. She truly was my angel and I knew I was in good hands with Captain Burns. Before we started to snorkel, they instructed us to stay with your buddy. There were several couples on board and I was all by myself, and probably the oldest one on the boat!

Years ago, I didn’t go to a restaurant alone because I was concerned people would think I didn’t have any friends. I certainly have grown and felt quite comfortable being by myself. I was happy to be alone to enjoy the ocean and nature around me.

I hadn’t been snorkeling in several years and rehabbing from a broken shoulder the last 3 ½ months made me nervous as it got closer to jumping into the ocean. What was I thinking? I informed Kelly about my situation and she said, “No problem, I will be your buddy and help you. You can use a  noodle.”

I was the last person off the boat.  Kelly stayed and helped me get my fins on and get down the ladder safely. The current was a bit strong and she could tell I was scared. She asked, “Would you like to hold onto my board with the rope and I can pull you?” I quickly said, “Yes.”

I stayed with her for quite a while holding tightly to the board and my noodle until I was relaxed and comfortable on my own. She then swam away and I kept her board with me. She kept checking on me making sure I was safe.

When I returned home, I laughed out loud when I thought about what I must have looked like. I was the only one snorkeling with an orange noodle and holding on to the staff’s board. The good news is that I didn’t care what I looked like or what anyone thought of me. That is growth!

This reminds me of how God gives us opportunities to step out in faith and invites us into deep waters and places where we have never been before. Of course, it’s scary at first until we relax and know we are safe and not alone. We are never alone. We are ONE with God.   

There were several things I learned from my adventure.

  • I asked for help.
  • I didn’t feel ashamed or weak that I needed help.
  • I knew what I needed to feel safe.
  • I allowed Kelly to share her love with me.
  • I didn’t care what I looked like or what others thought of me.
  • I received the support I needed by being vulnerable and open.
  • I am never alone and can trust God is always with me.

As I was leaving the boat, I thanked Kelly and told her she was my angel. She smiled and said, “Thank you, I love helping people. Can I hug you?” It was a great way to celebrate my birthday.

The importance of maintenance

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Oct
5

As I was taking my morning walk, the word maintenance popped into my mind. When I was in my thirties, I went to Weight Watchers. It was accountability every week that enabled me to lose weight. Today, I am accountable to myself and God.

If I wanted to keep the weight off, I needed to exercise and have good nutrition. Although I haven’t been to Weight Watchers in years, I learned a lot about the importance of accountability and maintenance in all areas of my life. We need to maintain our vehicles, garden, home, etc. to keep things in good order.

How about your relationships? How important is maintenance with your partner, children, parents, or work relationships? Our relationships need to be nurtured and supported to stay healthy and vibrant. They don’t just happen. It takes patience, honesty, forgiveness, communication, vulnerability, and commitment to evolve and grow. 

I have learned the importance of communicating and asking for what I want, as well as saying what doesn’t feel good, and what I want more of. Larry and I say “ouch” to one another if we say something hurtful, although unintentional. It allows us to listen and be sensitive to our partner’s needs.

I had the opportunity this week to share with Larry how I would like him to respond to me when I am emotionally upset. I know we process differently. I am an empath and feel everything. I was triggered by a remark a friend said to me. Whenever I’m triggered it is because there is something inside of me that needs healing and needs to be released.

I allowed myself to feel and journal my anger and sadness. Feelings are a gift from God and I know how important it is to allow myself to feel. I no longer medicate myself by eating or staying busy to avoid feelings.  I needed to release what no longer served me so I could move from blame, anger, and sadness to acceptance and love. How do you medicate your feelings?

As I was getting ready for bed, Larry said, “You look terrible and exhausted. It’s a shame it takes so much out of you to process what happened today.” He was right I was exhausted and it did take a lot out of me to do the deep inner work I needed to do.

The next morning, I thought about what response would have felt more nurturing and supportive from Larry.  Instead of saying, “It’s a shame, it takes so much out of you to process what happened today (which felt like a judgment), it would feel better to say, “I appreciate your willingness to feel all of your feelings and how you work through things so quickly.”

He smiled and said, “I’m learning.”

I’m grateful I have learned the importance of speaking my truth and grateful that I have a partner who is willing to listen and change. It’s not always easy to bring things up to one another, but it is better than the “silent treatment” and building resentments.

Waiting for my soulmate

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Oct
5

Here is what I wrote in the last chapter of my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” which was published 13 years ago.

“God’s plan is perfect. I continue to pray and visualize my soul mate coming into my life. What I think about and thank about, I bring into my life. When I visualize, I materialize. I see in my mind’s eye the results and feel like it has already happened. I see my soul mate and I walking on the beach, having fun, and praying together. If God allows me to see it, I can trust he will bring it about. I’ll have to write another book to share how God brings my soul mate into my life. I know it will be a wonderful story, no matter what, and it will be worth the wait.

Many of you know that I waited 15 years after my divorce for my soulmate to “show up.” During those 15 years, I learned a lot about myself; as well as self-love, self-appreciation, and self-care. I learned what I wanted and didn’t want without always trying to please a partner. I learned to live alone and trust myself and my feelings. I learned to become my own best friend. I learned to trust God’s perfect plan for my life. I learned to speak up and set boundaries. I learned to say NO when I needed to. I know today the time was not wasted and it was a gift I gave myself.

Waiting didn’t come easy for me. I don’t like to wait. I often felt impatient and asked God, “Why haven’t I met him yet? What is wrong with me?”  Here is the message I received from God when I asked “What is wrong with me?”

“I want you to allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the BEST. Please allow me to bring it to you.  YOU MUST WAIT.  And then you will be READY. I WILL SURPRISE YOU WITH A LOVE THAT IS FAR MORE WONDERFUL THAN YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF.”

I’m so grateful that I had the grace to wait, surrender, and let go of “my plan” because I thought I was ready.  I wouldn’t be where I am today if I had pushed to make something happen before it was God’s timing.

What are you waiting for and do you feel impatient as I did?  Do you trust God’s perfect plan for your life or do you complain and have given up hope? Don’t ever give up on your dreams.

God is faithful! I was surprised by a love that is far more wonderful than I could have imagined.

God has a plan for your life and He has a plan for my life. His plan is for our good. It takes patience and courage to trust and believe He is working behind the scenes. Larry and I both had to do inner work to be ready for our great love relationship before we came together. It may take time, but it is worth the wait.

Here is a scripture that I have lived by for decades. I hope it comforts your heart as it has mine.

“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

All There is is Love

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Sep
14

Larry and I are blessed to belong to a bi-weekly Love group. We met in our home for over 2 years before COVID. We now meet on Zoom. Although it’s not the same as meeting in person, hugging one another, and looking into each other’s eyes, it’s working for us and we feel deeply connected.

You may wonder what a Love group is? We support one another whatever struggles we are going through in Love. We start with a short blessing or prayer and are invited to share something meaningful that we read during the week. There is no agenda or leader, as we allow Spirit to lead and guide us.

We are invited to share a “love story” that happened during our time apart. It’s awesome as we encourage each other to see the love in all situations. We ask, “What is the love story in that situation, especially when we are struggling with an issue.

It’s interesting what happened this week after our Love group. I went from feeling loved and free to feeling very upset and angry at Larry in no time. To put it bluntly, I reacted strongly and blew it! Here is what happened:

I had a busy morning cooking and didn’t have time to clean up the mess in the kitchen before the love group. After the meeting, Larry went into the kitchen and said, “Did you leave this mess here so I could clean it up?”

I was appalled and couldn’t believe he would think that about me. I planned on cleaning it up and didn’t expect him to do it. My ego had a field day telling me he doesn’t appreciate me and he must think I’m lazy.

Larry explained, “I was just asking a question. I didn’t say you had left it for me.” He apologized, but I didn’t feel like he heard me or understand why I was so upset. We went back and forth for a while until one of us said, “What is the love story in this?”

Although I wasn’t ready to see the love story in the situation yet, I started to soften and calm myself down. Before I could see the love story, I needed to feel all of my feelings. I was grateful that Larry didn’t leave the room, but sat and listened to my ranting, as we tried to work it out.

After a while, we were able to discuss what we could have done differently that would have been more loving. He said, “I could have just cleaned up the dishes and not said anything.” I could have said, “No I didn’t leave it for you and I planned on cleaning up after the love group.”  I’m not sure why I had such a strong reaction and why it triggered me, but it did. 

The next morning, I apologized for my strong reaction and we were able to laugh about it. I said, “I appreciate that you didn’t leave the room, but stayed and listened to me.” Spirit showed me that there have been times when I didn’t fill the water pitcher because I didn’t feel like doing it and expected Larry to do it. I felt convicted.

When we are open to experience the power of love in our lives, there is always a love story we can discover.

Larry

In the book “Love Is All There Is,” the author suggests “There is no tragedy so great that it does not have within it the opportunity for Love. Amid all human tragedy, there have always been stories of great Love and Love is present in every situation. The fiercest war, the most grotesque violence, the most devastating disasters need only be seen from a different perception to reveal the presence of Love.”

Have you ever had the experience when a situation seemed to be one way, then after looking at it with a different perspective, you found it completely different than you had first thought? When you look at a beautiful diamond it has so many different facets. You look at it one way and it is beautiful; you turn it around and the facets change and it becomes beautiful in a whole new way.

I encourage you to find the love story in every situation in your life, regardless of how negative it may seem at first. This will enable you to have the best perspective and make better decisions from the love perspective.

A visit from the other side

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Sep
14

I tearfully said goodbye to one of my closest friends, Joanne, 2 years ago. It was quite emotional and honest as I thanked her for her love, encouragement, and support over the last 3 decades. She died two weeks later from Ovarian cancer.

Joanne was always there for me, as I was there for her.  I always felt that God spoke to me through her. Joanne was my spiritual “cheerleader” as I went through my divorce, sexual abuse, and raising kids. She was a wise and loving friend. We lived on the same street and often took walks or sat and had a cup of tea on my porch or her back yard with beautiful flowers.

Before she died, Joanne encouraged her partner, Linda, to write a book about their love relationship and her cancer journey. It has been my honor to support and encourage Linda to write the book. I received a text from Linda this week informing me that she finished the last chapter of the book.  

I was so happy and proud of Linda. I sent her a text congratulating her for finishing the book. Later in the day, while sitting outside on my swing and journaling, I heard a voice and I didn’t know where it was coming from. My phone was off and next to me in the swing. When I picked up my phone, there was Linda’s face. I was quite surprised and said, “Did you Face Time me?” She said, “No, did you Face Time me?”

We were both stunned. We have never done a Face Time with one another. Linda explained, “I just walked upstairs to get your book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” and had your book in my hand when I saw the incoming call and saw your name.

I couldn’t speak at first and my whole body shivered. We both agreed Joanne was “showing up” to support us both on our journeys. We laughed and cried that she had communicated with us in such a powerful way.

It is no coincidence that Linda and Larry and I have finished our books at the same time. Joanne was my earth “cheerleader” and now she is my heavenly “cheerleader.” Our loved ones do want to communicate with us if we are open.

Linda’s experience:

A week ago, on a humid Sunday in Rhode Island, I had been lounging on the couch with my computer as I mulled over some revisions for my book.  Even though I had recently finished writing the last chapter, I knew that reviewing the earlier chapters would take some time.  With the help of my writing coach, encouragement from others, and Pat’s compassionate advice, I realized I might complete this first book after all.

In the two years since my wife Joanne died, many astounding connections with her spirit have comforted me, always when I needed them the most.  On this particular Sunday, I was pondering a different way to express If you snooze, you lose, that described Joanne’s ability to get things done without delay.

After reading Pat’s text congratulating me and offering to help pull the chapters together, I had sent a text thanking her and assuring her I would be in touch when my revisions were done.  I decided to retrieve “Simply A Woman of Faith” upstairs in my nightstand in order to review her book’s layout.  As usual, my cell phone was in its case attached to my waistband when I ascended the stairs.

I had just picked up Pat’s book when my phone rang. To my surprise, it was Pat. I thought, “That’s odd, maybe she didn’t get my text.”  Answering the phone, I held it to my ear but soon discovered I also saw her face.  I was shocked to discover we were on FaceTime and that she was just as surprised to see my face as well.  My jaw dropped while I kept repeating, “Oh my god!”

In that moment, I could almost hear Joanne tell me to connect with Pat without delay.  While I marveled at the perfect timing, I felt certain my love had planned this magical event.  Knowing my tendency to procrastinate, her spirit seemed to remind me about snoozing and losing, so I will take the hint and push on.  With gratitude to God and Joanne, my heart is renewed once again.  Thank you, Pat, for your steadfast support, love, and cheerleading.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
621 Laniolu Place Kihei, HI 96753
pat@simplyawomanoffaith.com
401-862-8859