Browsing all articles tagged with Pat Hastings

Living on Maui for 10 years

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jan
16

Ten years ago, I heard Spirit say, “I don’t want you to do anything. I want you to learn how to BE.” I didn’t understand it and didn’t like it because I thought I knew how to BE.

Last week was the 10th year anniversary of moving to Maui. It took courage and the willingness to follow my heart and trust it was the voice of Spirit guiding me to move 5,000 miles away from family, friends, and community. When I moved to Maui it was MY PLAN to continue doing what I loved; leading retreats, spiritual coaching, and inspirational speaking.

God had another plan and I’m grateful I listened. Isn’t that always the way? It’s like I had to make a course correction. By the grace of God, I didn’t do “anything” I thought I would be doing. If I hadn’t listened and allowed my ego and fear to tell me all the reasons I couldn’t/shouldn’t just learn how to BE, I would have missed out on the greatest love story.

Instead of rushing and pushing myself to do more, and be more, I relaxed and took long walks on the ocean and learned to enjoy simple things like sitting and watching the sunset, listening to music and dancing in the house, or reading a book in the afternoon. I listen to my body and what it needs instead of running around and trying to save the world.

Can you give yourself permission to “waste time” and do nothing without feeling guilty? It’s taken me years, but I am learning to “waste time” without feeling guilty. “Wasting time” has become a way of life and I love the quiet and peace deep in my heart that it offers. I enjoy spending time with my best friend, ME. I have learned to enjoy my own company because I know the most important relationship, I have is with myself.

Today, I sat on my lanai for a few hours looking at the ocean, feeling the sun on my face, and listening to the birds. It truly was BEING in the present moment with no agenda, just ENJOYING and doing what I wanted. It was glorious. I don’t push myself to do something if it doesn’t feel right, especially if I’m doing it to please another.

Growing up, I often heard “Hurry up” and never heard, “Take your time.” Consequently, I became a rushaholic/busyaholic. As I look back on my life, I admit my drug of choice was staying busy, rushing, and pushing myself to do more because inside I never felt good enough. Rushing became a way of life for me. Rushing puts you into adrenaline overload and drenches the body with epinephrine, a hormone stimulated by stress, anger, or fear. Although on the “outside” I looked like I had it together, there was an “inner rusher” that was pervasive and intense. I had the image of myself as a racehorse always ready to take off at the gate.

As an addict uses his/her drug of choice to medicate their feelings, I used rushing and staying busy to medicate my feelings of self-hatred, loneliness, not being good enough, fear, and anger.

When I rushed and stayed busy, I didn’t have to feel my feelings and go within. I felt energized and in control when I rushed and powerful when I multi-tasked. I disconnected from myself and from the energy of God within when I rushed and stayed busy to avoid going within.

The key to living a balanced life is to DO and BE. I had it backward. I had to Do-Do-Do before I could give myself permission to relax and BE. Since I have learned how to BE and enjoy my life without guilt and pressure, I am aligned with Spirit and create from my heart.

What is your addiction and how do you medicate your feelings? Do you feel guilty when you relax and enjoy your life thinking you “should” be more productive and DO more?

May the God of the present moment be with you, slowing you down, revealing to you the sacred gift hidden in each moment of your day. May you develop a reflective heart, able to be present to life, a heart that can take time to move beyond the visible to touch the precious mystery of life and living.

You are an angel

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jan
16

About 40 years ago I received an anonymous gift in my mailbox that changed my life and deepened my faith and trust in God. My hope is that you will be inspired and your faith strengthened as you read the following story.

I love to share the story of my “God-blouse”.  My husband had been unemployed for a year, and we had four children under the age of ten. I remember how humiliated I felt when we had to apply for welfare and food stamps.

On the day that I bought my “God-blouse,” I had some time to kill as I waited to pick up the children from school. Even though I didn’t have money to buy anything, I could still window shop. I spotted the clearance sign at the back of the store and quickly walked over to the clothing rack. I had no intention of buying anything, but the blouse jumped out at me. I fell in love with it and it was only ten dollars.

As I reluctantly placed it back on the rack, I heard the small, still voice of God say, “BUY IT AND I WILL PROVIDE.” I pulled out my wallet to see how much money I had. I had a ten-dollar bill tucked away in the billfold.

“God, did I hear you right, or was that just me wanting the blouse?” Was my imagination running wild? I thought, “If I spend the money on a blouse, where will I get the money to buy milk and bread on the way home?”

I wanted to believe it was God, but could I trust myself? My gut was saying, “Trust God and buy the blouse.” I decided to buy the blouse.

I picked up the children from school and drove directly home (not saying anything about my purchase). I grabbed the mail from the mailbox as I walked into the house, hoping there weren’t any bills.

There was a letter with no return address on it. I quickly opened it, eager to see what was inside of it. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the crisp new ten-dollar bill tucked inside the notecard. As I read the simple but profound message written in the card, I started to tremble from head to foot.

Oh my God, I shouted as the tears streamed down my cheeks. I frantically searched for a name, but there wasn’t any. Sprawled across the handwritten note was simply,

To Pat,   From the Son of a Carpenter

Filled with awe and gratitude, I couldn’t stop laughing and crying at the same time. God provides, but I didn’t expect it so dramatically and so quickly. I still don’t know who sent the card and money-and probably never will.  The person who sent it listened to the small, still voice of God and took action. 

It’s Christmas day and I just returned home from my walk with Kobi after I heard the small, still voice of God and took action. A few days ago, as I was getting out of bed, I heard Spirit say, “I will guide you to the person I want you to give $50 to.”

Even though it was on my mind about the $50 in my purse, I kind of forgot about it until today. I was driving my car and spotted a car pulled over to the side of the road waiting to watch the sunset. I immediately heard, “This is the person I want you to give the $50 to.”

I drove past the car and pulled over to go within and make sure I heard Spirit. I turned my car around and pulled up next to the woman who was now sitting outside waiting for sunset. I called the woman over to my car and handed her the $50 bill. She was so grateful and appreciative.

I wondered if she was living in her car and asked her what was going on. She said, “I was a registered nurse and lost my home at the beginning of October. I have many friends and I’m staying with them and trying to save money for another home.”

She was a beautiful soul and her name was Grace. We exchanged numbers and plan on keeping in contact. What a joy it is for me to hear the small, still voice of God and trust it is Spirit. It has taken many years to trust that voice and take action.  

The small, still voice of God is within you. Do you trust the voice or think it’s your voice? I encourage you to spend quiet time and connect with the Spirit within. Your voice, love and light are needed in the world.

What I see in you is in me

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jan
16

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all of you who read my blog every week. I appreciate your support and love. It’s hard to believe the year is almost over. It’s been quite a year and many are happy to see the year-end.

We have been encouraged to “go within” to surrender, to trust, and to “accept what is” and what we can and can’t control. I can’t control the government or vaccines or mandates. I can control and am responsible for my reactions, keeping myself in peace and my vibration high in love and gratitude. I do what I can and leave the rest to Spirit.

I met with a couple of friends this week for a holiday celebration and the question was posed, “What are you most proud of this year?” I said, “I am most proud of my EXPANSION and my ability to love and connect with others. I know we are all connected and ONE.

I feel such joy walking in the morning on the path overlooking the ocean and looking people in the eyes and saying, “Good morning.” I often start a conversation and know many locals by name. They remember my name as I am called Pat with the hat.  A woman asked if she could take my picture because she loved my hat and wanted to show her friend.

A couple of weeks ago, while sitting outside at the coffee shop, a woman (who I had never seen before) walked by and looked me in the eyes and said, “You are amazing, you are amazing.” I thanked her and wondered what she meant?

A couple of minutes later the woman walked by me again. I decided to ask her what she meant when she said, “You are amazing.” She said, “I’m German and my words aren’t always correct. What I meant to say is that I see your aura. I said, “You mean my light?” She said, “Yes.”

I was so touched I just sat there smiling and in gratitude that my light was bright enough for someone to comment about it. About 15 minutes later, the woman walked by again and handed me a beautifully wrapped bag of cookies from the bakery. She bent down so I could hear her and said, “You are an angel.”

I took a deep breath and allowed myself to take in her words. I said, “Thank you so much and what you see in others is also in you. You are also an angel.” We chatted briefly and she said she owned the bakery shop a few doors down from the coffee shop.

I floated for the rest of the day thinking about what she said. Was I really an angel? My grandmother nicknamed me “angel.”  Are we all angels in disguise?

What I do know in my heart is that we are here to walk each other home to the truth of who we are. We are divine and human and not separate from one another. We are connected to Source, God, Universe, or whatever you choose to call the Power. We are loved, safe, and protected.

I went to the bakery a couple of days later to drop off a thank you card to Christine for the cookies, and most importantly that she recognized me. She was behind the counter when I walked into the bakery. She immediately ran around and gave me a big hug. We looked deeply into one another’s eyes as I said, “Thank you for recognizing who I am.” I don’t know anything about this woman, and yet I know everything about her by just looking into her eyes. It was such a powerful experience for both of us.  

I went to the farmers market on Saturday and there were many vendors with hand-made Maui gift items for sale. I bought a small Christmas angel for Christine and brought it to her at the bakery shop. She was touched as we again just looked into each other’s eyes. What a blessing. We plan on visiting after the holidays as we both know we are meant to get to know one another.   

What I see in YOU is in ME. What you see in ME is in YOU. Claim it, celebrate it, believe it, and live it. We are all angels in disguise. We are needed on this earth to BE the light that shines in the darkness. Let your light shine and let the fun begin!

Accepting “WHAT IS”

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Oct
17

As I was turning off my phone to go to bed, I noticed a text from my friend that was quite disturbing and alarming. I was urged to send it to all of my friends and family. I asked Spirit if He wanted me to do anything about it and the answer was NO. It could have kept me up most of the night obsessing about what will happen in the future. Has this ever happened to you?  

When I woke up in the morning, I immediately thought about the text message. I realized I have a choice to live in the “WHAT IFS” or “WHAT IS.” What a difference those two words can make.

WHAT IF:

·        We have to move and can’t find a place to live

·        Our landlord raises our rent

·        Larry dies and I have to move because I can’t afford to live here

·        One of us gets COVID and is really sick

·        There is a food shortage and we can’t get food to Maui

·        We lose social security

·        My children get sick or tragedy happens to them

·        We run out of money

·        My health or Larry’s health deteriorates

Of course, the above are real situations that COULD happen, but they haven’t happened so why let it rob me of my peace and serenity. This is called “future tripping” and it’s so easy to fall into when we are not vigilant with our thoughts.

I cannot control the future and what happens in the world. I can control my reactions and my perspectives. I can do my part to make changes when Spirit is leading me.  We all have our WHAT IF’S. What keeps you up at night worrying and obsessing?  

When we live in the “WHAT IS” happening in our lives, we are living in the present moment and it is only in the present moment that we have peace and experience the presence of God.  We may not like what’s happening in the moment. I don’t like that my energy is low in the afternoon and I need to rest, but I accept it for the most part. I don’t like that Larry has skin cancer or that I’m allergic to sugar. When we accept “what is” we will have peace. Eckhart Tolle writes “Accept what is as if you have chosen it.”

In this moment, here are my “WHAT IS”

·        I am safe, protected, and provided for by God

·        I am always guided to do the next right thing

·        I am peaceful, joyful, and happy

·        I always get what I need in the moment

·        Larry and I are both healthy

·        We have a beautiful home and the landlord hasn’t raised the rent in 7 years

·        We have enough money to live on

·        We get our social security checks every month

·        We have plenty of food to eat and enjoy

·        My children are healthy and happy

·        I have great family and friends to love and support me

There is nothing wrong with planning for the future. That is wise. If you have young children, you plan for college and you plan for retirement. We have a food supply for 3 months in case there is a food shortage. We do our part and leave the rest up to God. It’s called letting go and letting God. God has never let me down and never will.

My favorite scripture is Jerimiah 29- 11. “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

We live in a crazy world right now with politics, vaccines, separation, and environmental issues. It’s scary stuff because we don’t know what the future holds and we don’t know what’s true or not true.

More than ever, we are invited to trust God is in control and that this is the GREAT AWAKENING. There is light coming onto the planet like never before. We are the light. God needs our light to shine into the darkness. Stay positive, keep shining and keep choosing love. WE GOT THIS.

We are all connected

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Apr
18

I love how we are all connected, whether someone is still living on this earth or has transitioned to the other side.  I had two experiences this week that prove this truth.

My grandmother died 42 years ago this week. I loved my grandmother and she supported me all through my life. I wouldn’t be who I am today without her love and affection. She nicknamed me “Angel” and I called her gram. In her eyes, I could do no wrong.  I spent a lot of time at her house and loved sitting and having a cup of tea with her. She always had “time” for me and listened to whatever I was going through.

I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep. I pray when I can’t sleep. I’m not sure if I had a dream about gram or not, but I remembered that the anniversary of her death was this week.

I will be 75 years young in October.  As I was thinking about gram, I wasn’t sure if she was 75 years old when she died. I thought, “Oh my goodness, gram was old!” I didn’t see myself old like she was. It kind of felt like a little wake-up call.

Something about almost being her age when she died was getting my attention. Was it an invitation to enjoy my life even more than I am, to let go of what no longer serves me because we are not promised tomorrow? All I have is this NOW moment. I have an affirmation that I say every day. “I am worthy and deserving to enjoy “my amazing life” that I have co-created with God. It is flowing with love, peace, joy, happiness, abundance, and radiant health.

I decided to text my cousin, Doreen, in the morning to confirm gram’s age. I immediately received a telephone call from Doreen saying, “OMG, I don’t believe it. You have been on my mind and I just finished writing you a card. I was recently cleaning out some things and found 2 of gram’s prayer cards when she died. I haven’t seen those cards in 42 years. I am sending one to you.”

I received the prayer card a few days later. Here is what it said:

Deep waters cannot quench LOVE, nor floods sweep it away. I allowed myself to feel the love in my heart and to know gram was still there loving and supporting me. 

Here is another example of knowing we are all connected:

A few nights later, I was awake again and thought about a friend who I have shared about in past blogs. After a 30 year friendship, she didn’t want to be friends anymore. I felt hurt, rejected, and abandoned. I had to grieve the loss of my friend and accept and forgive if I were to have peace in my life.

I was very pleased when Spirit bought her to mind in the middle of the night and I had no triggers or ill feelings toward her. In the past, I had hoped that she would see the “light” and want to be friends again. I felt only love and peace for her.

The next morning when I opened my phone I received a text message from her saying, “I have been thinking about you and wanted to see how you and Larry were doing.”  We are connected in the mind of God.

I sent a message back and thanked her for her love and for the memories and special times we had together. I had done my grief work and had forgiven her because I felt complete and healed.   

A Divine Set-up

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Feb
27

Within days apart I was led to share my “faith story” twice of how I followed my heart and moved to Maui. One was with a married couple and the other was with a single mom with 3 children. Both were divinely set-up by the Universe to inspire and encourage them to step out in faith and follow their dreams.

I met Bob and Kim while walking the path as they were leaving the Marriott to go for their walk. They asked, “Do you live here, and is it expensive?” I answered, “Yes, it is expensive but you learn where to buy food and shop for what you need.”  They were vacationing from Colorado and their dream was to buy a condo while they were here.

The conversation flowed and went “deep” fast. We shared the “same language” of faith and trust in God. We had a lot in common and Bob shared he was writing an inspirational book. I shared my book, Simply a Woman of Faith, and how I followed my heart and moved to Maui 10 years ago.

When we parted it felt like we had known each other for a long time and exchanged numbers and emails. I told them I would pray for them and knew if it was God’s will, they would find the perfect condo to buy. I received a text from them 2 days after we met that they had found a condo and made an offer. God moves fast when you are willing to face your fears, step out in faith and trust your heart.

I met Kristie a few days after meeting the couple. I was again walking on the path and had stopped to watch the whales breaching in the ocean.  I turned to the young woman next to me and said, “Some people stop to smell the roses, we stop to watch the whales.”  She smiled and said, “I stop to do both.” I said, “Me too.”

That was the beginning of another divine set-up by the Universe. Kristie, a single mom, shared “It is my dream for my children and me to move to Maui. When I was a little girl playing with my Barbies, I dreamed about moving to Hawaii.  It feels like this is the right time for us to move here. I have faith in God and only want God’s will.”

I was happy to share my story of faith and to encourage her to follow her heart and step out in faith. She was also a woman of faith and had many stories of how God provided for her. I shared how I lived my life with the concept of open and closed doors and it has never failed me. When I don’t know if I’m making the right decision, I ask God to open or close the door. I said, “I will pray for you and I would like to gift you with my book, Simply a Woman of Faith. I think it will help you right now move forward.” I gave her my number and we planned on meeting the next day for me to give her my book.   

Kristie contacted me the next day and said, “I found the perfect condo for my children and me. I’m making an offer and hope it will be accepted. There are many obstacles to overcome if it is going to happen. We have 2 small non-shedding dogs and the condo doesn’t allow dogs (unless there was a medical reason and there was). I need a down payment of 20% and I only have 3%.

Here is the text I received from her a couple of days later. “They accepted my offer and we have a closing date of May 1. I continue to trust the money will come in for the down payment. My heart is flooding with gratitude and excitement. I am surrendering and putting it in God’s hands with great anticipation of the greatness He is bringing to me and my kids.”

Pat, you have strengthened my faith and brought about my awareness of worthiness. I think you are my guardian angel as you help me radiate light and love. Thank you for demonstrating your strong faith. I am loving your book! It is helpful to write my thoughts at the end of the chapters. It is bringing clarity and awareness and providing me with a deepened faith.

It is truly my joy to share my faith and inspire others to follow their dreams. I know that with God all things are possible. Thank you, Spirit for aligning the stars and bringing us together at the perfect and right time. 

Ask and you shall receive

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Feb
27

Despite all that’s happened this past year with the pandemic and political arena, I have never felt happier, contented, and more alive. Being retired and living in a beautiful place with my beloved husband certainly helps. My friend, Donna, says I go from pleasure to pleasure and she is right!

It’s not just that I live in a beautiful place, it’s truly because of my faith and trust in God that I have peace and joy in my heart. I know what’s going on around me and I feel compassion for those who are suffering and living in fear. I know people who are very prosperous and are miserable inside. So truly it is an inside job of how happy I choose to be. “Things may happen around you, and things may happen to you, but the only things that count are the things that happen in you.” Eric Butterworth

When the new year began, I chose a word for the year, or shall I say Spirit chose it for me. The word was EXPANSIVE. I played with the essence and energy of the word and what it would look and feel like in all areas of my life; my relationships, emotions, health, exercise, fun, diet, prosperity, time, spirit, etc. The area where I need to expand and will be the most challenging is my diet.

I have the word EXPANSIVE written in several areas in our home to help me remember the energy I am calling in.  I have an affirmation that I repeat often during the day. I AM EXPANSIVE AND FREE TO DO AND BE WHATEVER I WANT. I listen to inspirational and prosperity songs every day while I sit at my favorite hotel and sip iced tea. I feel expansive, open, and deserving of all that is mine. 

Living in the energy and essence of EXPANSIVENESS means I am open to RECEIVE from Source all that I need and what I want to do and be. It is knowing I am good enough and deserving of abundance in all areas of my life.

Here is an example of what happened on Saturday about asking and receiving. As I left the house all to go for my walk on the ocean, I noticed some flowers on my wreath outside the house had fallen to the ground and I needed a glue gun to fix it. My glue gun broke the last time I used it.

I prayed and asked God to provide a glue gun at a yard sale that day. I was specific and said, “I would like to pay $2.00 and it is in great condition. There were only 2-yard sales that I stopped at. The first one didn’t have a glue gun, but the second one did.

I didn’t see a glue gun on the table and decided to ask if they had one. The woman said, “No sorry we don’t have one.” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her husband whisper something to her. A few minutes later, he walks out of the garage with a brand-new glue gun still in the package.  When she told me the price was $2.00, I was floored.

Of course, had to tell her the story of praying and asking God to provide a glue gun for $2.00.  I thanked her husband and asked, “When did you find the glue gun?” He said, “Yesterday when I was cleaning the garage.”  Most people probably wouldn’t think about asking God to provide a glue gun when they can just go and buy one. What fun is that?

I visited my friend, Margie, last week and during our conversation, she said, “I prayed last night to Spirit for a beach ball that I need for exercise. I thought of you and how Spirit always provides.”

Ask and you shall receive! I said, “I have a beach ball that I don’t know what to do with and was planning on throwing it away when I got home.” She was thrilled and followed me to my house to retrieve the beach ball. It was exactly what she needed.

God wants to provide for us and His/Her timing is always perfect. We must ask for what we need, and be willing to receive. Are you willing to ask Spirit for what you want and need?

I fell off the wagon

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Feb
27

My reason for writing a blog every week is to share my journey to inspire you so you know you are not alone with whatever you are going through. Thank you for your love and support and for reading the blogs every week.

As an alcohol and drug therapist for 20 years, one of my jobs was to do interventions and help patients come out of DENIAL about how alcohol or drugs had robbed them of everything. It was my job to get them to say yes to treatment.

DENIAL is a symptom of addiction and a very powerful defense mechanism.  We stay in denial because we are afraid and don’t want to admit there is a problem. Once you admit there is a problem, you have to do something about it.

The reality is we are all addicted to something whether it be a substance or a process. Substances include alcohol, drugs, food, sugar, nicotine, or caffeine. Process addictions include gambling, cleaning, hoarding, workaholism, religiosity, perfectionism, control, shopping, codependency.

Your “drug of choice” keeps you from feeling your feelings. Years ago, at a very low point in my life, I sat in a dark room eating chocolate and drinking a glass of wine.  It took away the pain for a moment. What is your drug of choice to avoid your feelings?

I read a quote this week from Steven Pressfield, Resistance for Evolution that states “The more important an activity is to your soul’s evolution, the more resistance you will feel it.”

This spoke to me as I was feeling a lot of RESISTANCE to changing my diet. I wondered, “Is denial the same as resistance?” I think it’s different but similar. When I’m in denial, I don’t think there is a problem. When I’m in resistance, I know there is a problem and I’m angry that I have to change. I’m kicking and screaming and feel like a victim and wondering why I can’t eat like normal people?

Like many others who live on this planet due to chemicals, GMO and processed foods, I suffer from inflammation and gut issues. I was in denial over the holidays and thought I could eat desserts and be fine. I thought my gut issues were gone.

My symptoms came back and worse than ever.  I was angry and felt like my body had betrayed me.  Just like the addict, I want what I want when I want it! I love sugar, chocolate, muffins, and bagels and didn’t want to deny myself.

I knew I was in trouble and had to pay attention. I went back to the anti-inflammatory diet that I had done in the past which is no grains, fruit, caffeine, dairy, or sugar. I kept saying, “This is so hard.” The truth is that it is hard, but if I kept saying this is hard, it would continue to be hard. I needed to change my perspective and I did.

I’m grateful that I didn’t beat up on myself, but instead forgave myself for “falling off the wagon” and putting food into my body that I wasn’t able to tolerate. With the grace of God, I thanked my body (even though I didn’t like it) for letting me know what wasn’t good for me.

Most importantly, I became willing to change and ask God for help. I knew I couldn’t do it alone. I used the 1st step of AA. I admit I am powerless over sugar and 2nd step I admit a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. It works as I have been “clean” since January 1. I will continue to ask for help every day.

Are you in denial or resisting anything in your life that is not healthy for you? Remember, “The more important an activity is to your soul’s evolution, the more resistance you will feel it.”

Letting go of unhealthy relationships

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jan
19

“Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.”  Matt Kahn

Several friends have shared with me this week about important relationships that ended that were very painful.  Their first response was to blame themselves and think they had done something wrong. It’s very painful to go through the process of letting go of a relationship if it was your close/best friend that you thought would be a forever friend. It took me over a year to work through the pain of losing my best friend, forgiving her, and accepting the relationship was over.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced relationships that have ended, some a slow death and others a sudden death. I’ve experienced both.  For me, the sudden death of a relationship, especially when I didn’t see it coming and didn’t choose it was more painful.

I had to allow myself to go through the grief process: denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. Even though I knew intellectually that people change, interests change, marital status’ change, and this all plays a part in going separate ways, I had to allow myself to feel my feelings.  

I came across an article by Anthony Hopkins that I thought said it all.

“Let go of people who aren’t ready to love you yet! This is the hardest thing you’ll have to do in your life, and it will also be the most important thing:

            Stop giving your love to those who aren’t ready to love you yet.

Stop hard conversations with people who don’t want to change.

Stop showing up for people who are indifferent to your presence.

           Stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you.

I know your instincts do everything to win the good mercy of everyone around you, but it’s also the impulse that will steal your time, energy, and mental, physical, and spiritual health.

When you start manifesting yourself in your life, completely, with joy, interest, and commitment, not everyone will be ready to find you in this place of pure sincerity.

That doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are. That means you have to stop loving people who don’t want to love you yet.” ~ Anthony Hopkins

Today, as I have learned to love and appreciate myself, I have attracted relationships that are healthy, honest, loving, and open. I am living my life with presence and intention. I savor every moment as I am not promised tomorrow.  I no longer change anything about myself simply because someone else cannot see, understand, or accept it. I am mindful of the traits and things that I need to work on to improve myself.

I am grateful and focus on what’s good in my life and celebrate the woman I am becoming by keeping my vibration high with love and gratitude. Today, I understand that I am not responsible for others’ feelings or actions. All I can change is myself and am responsible for my physical, mental, and spiritual health.

Are you ready to let go of people who aren’t ready to love you yet?  Remember Matt Kahn’s quote: “Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves.”

Importance of self-love

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jan
19

This week is the 10th anniversary of moving to Maui.  It’s hard to believe I have been living here for 10 years and so much has changed; I’m a married woman, live in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean, and we just published our book together. I could never have imagined what my life looks like today. 

I came across a magazine advertisement this week that was written 10 years ago, the week before I moved to Maui. It said, “Join Pat Hastings on Norwegian Spirit Holistic Cruise –  Pat was selected to be one of the speakers on the Holistic Cruise to Mayan Country. During the cruise, Hastings will present “How to Say No to Others and Yes to Yourself.” I met so many wonderful people and have many fond memories of the fun we had.

There was a time when I didn’t say no to others because I thought it was selfish. I put others first and me last. I looked to others for my answers, rather than go within. If I hadn’t learned this skill of saying no and how to love myself, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I have no problem saying no today and speaking up if something doesn’t feel right.

I believe keeping our vibration high (in gratitude, peace, and love) at this time of such “unrest” is crucial for ourselves and the world. We are given the opportunity to choose love or fear in all areas of our lives. It’s not that we don’t feel our feelings and do a spiritual bypass. We allow ourselves to feel sad, angry, disappointed, or fearful.  We feel our feelings and then let them go and trust in the divine plan for our lives. There is nothing we can do about what is happening on the “OUTSIDE” of us. All we can control is what is happening “INSIDE” of us.

We keep our vibration high through self-care and self-love. If we don’t love ourselves, we will not be able to love others. Below are ways to practice self-care. I invite you to look it over and pick 1 or 2 to practice. Ask Spirit for help and to show you which area is most important for your growth and highest good.

I see my growth and where I’ve grown with saying no, asking for what I want, setting boundaries, and spending time alone. Spirit is inviting me to practice “stepping back.”

What do I mean by practicing “stepping back?”

  • I give my opinion ONLY when asked.
  • I don’t judge others, especially when they have a different perspective or behavior (mask-no mask, vaccine-no vaccine, etc.) I may not like or approve of another’s choices and behaviors, but it is their journey, not mine.
  • I don’t gossip, especially in the name of love.
  • I don’t complain, but “accept what is” and focus on what I do have.

For example, I was taking my walk on the path today.  I started to judge and tell myself a “story” about someone who didn’t stop to talk to me (especially when I see them talking to others.) When I became aware I was judging the person and telling myself a “story” I stopped myself and chose love instead.

It’s impossible to “step back” and not judge or complain on my own power. I know I will slip many times. The key is to become aware when I’m judging or complaining and forgive myself and ask Spirit for help. It motivates me to realize that when I judge another person, I am judging MYSELF because we are ONE and connected.

I made an important decision this week without consulting Larry first. When I shared it with him, he asked, “Do you want my opinion?” I looked at him and said, “Thank you, but I’m not asking for your opinion.” It felt so empowering to speak my truth and to trust my own counsel and God’s guidance within. I’m grateful he wasn’t defensive and has learned he doesn’t have to fix me.

Let us remember the truth of who we are and who God is in our lives. This is the “Great Awakening” and it will be ugly at times as darkness comes into the light. You and I are the light in the darkness and are invited to shine our lights to show the way for others. We are safe and protected and our faith will carry us through the storms.

newsletter sign-up

Stay updated by signing up!


Simply A Woman of Faith

Pat’s book, Simply A Woman of Faith, is available for only $16.45 (incl. S&H).
Click here to order.

VIEW SAMPLE CHAPTER




Recent Articles


Share This Experience!


Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
621 Laniolu Place Kihei, HI 96753
pat@simplyawomanoffaith.com
401-862-8859