I love surprises, but it’s not easy to surprise me because I’m intuitive and pick up on things easily. With that said, I want to share the biggest “surprise birthday gift” I received this week.
I was really looking forward to celebrating my birthday with Larry at our favorite restaurant, Sea House, in Lahaina. That morning, in prayer, I asked to be open to surprises. God answered that prayer BIG TIME.
We planned on leaving the house at 11 a.m. since the restaurant was an hour away. A couple of hours before leaving, Larry came to me and said, “I just got a phone call from, Sue, and she needs a ride home from the airport. Her plane arrives at 11 a.m. Her ride just cancelled, do you mind if we go to the airport first, pick her up, drive her home and then we can go to the restaurant?”
Although I wasn’t crazy about the idea, I knew it was important to Larry and he really wanted to help his friend out who was quite stressed about not having a ride home. I said, “Sure, we can do that.” I am so grateful I listened to my heart and was willing to change our plans to help someone else out.
When we pulled into the airport terminal, I was looking for Sue. When Larry pulled over to the curb, I said, “What are you doing? I don’t see Sue here.”
The next thing I knew there was a man that I didn’t recognize coming up to the door of our car. I said, “Who is this man and what is he doing here?” The next thing I knew he was opening the car door. When he took off his hat and sunglasses, I saw that it was my son, Timmy, who is from Boise Idaho.
I was in complete shock and couldn’t move or talk at first. I couldn’t believe my eyes that my son was standing in front of me wishing me a happy birthday. I can’t remember what I said other than OMG and then the tears flowed. Larry said he has never seen me like this. It was the best surprise birthday present ever.
As we were pulling away from the terminal, I noticed 3 women sitting on benches that had witnessed the surprise visit and they had BIG smiles on their faces. What a touching moment for all of us.
Tim called Larry a few weeks ago to tell him he was coming to surprise me for my birthday. Larry did a great job of keeping it a secret and coming up with the idea about his friend, Sue, needing a ride.
What a joy it has been having him stay with us for a few days. We snorkeled and kayaked and relaxed together. I knew Tim loved me, but actions speak louder than words. He was so attentive and kind to his “mamma.”
As the wave was breaking and we came out of the ocean from kayaking, he stood in front of me to protect me from getting hit. He always offered me his arm wherever we walked. I felt so cared for and loved.
We don’t have air conditioning and it has been very hot here on Maui this summer. Tim and I went to Home Depot and he bought us a portable air-conditioner and then installed it the next day. He said, “It is an early Christmas present.”
I feel so loved, blessed and grateful. Thank you family and friends for the surprises; flowers, cards, calls, gifts and lunches. God is so good!
Larry celebrated his 80th birthday with 35 friends and family at our home on Sunday. What a beautiful day of love and joy. The love just FLOWED. When asked by a friend, “What have you learned that is most important and what wisdom do you want to share with us?” Larry smiled and simply said, “ALL THERE IS IS LOVE.”
My prayer for Larry was that his heart be open to receive the love that others wanted to shower on him for his birthday. It is not always easy to receive.
For many years, I unconsciously “blocked” love (even though I wanted it) because I didn’t feel deserving, worthy, or good enough. I didn’t think I could live up to what others said about me and I didn’t want others to think I was conceited. I worked hard at letting go of these erroneous beliefs that were running my life and not allowing me to receive love from others.
My intention for the birthday party was that it FLOW with peace, ease and grace. And that it did as I felt peaceful and relaxed. In the past, I always felt stressed before a party or company because I wanted everything to be perfect. I drove myself crazy and everyone around me.
One of the reasons I felt so peaceful was that I’ve learned to ask for HELP. I remember an incident years ago with my ex-husband. We were having company, and he was laying on the couch reading the paper, while I was racing around the house trying to get ready. I felt angry and resentful that he wasn’t helping and I was doing everything. I finally snapped and said something to him. I will never forget his remark, “Why didn’t you ask me for help?”
I never thought to ask him for help. The lesson for me was that I expected him to read my mind. Of course, we could say he should have known and perhaps he could have been more aware, but he wasn’t. Expecting someone to read my mind and know what I need is setting myself up for trouble.
Why is it hard to ask for help?
- We don’t want to be rejected
- We don’t want to bother others
- We may be afraid of what will be asked of us
- We think we should know what to do
Because I’ve learned to say NO when I want to and YES when I want to, my friends also say no and yes and are honest with me when I ask for help
I asked a friend to come over a couple of days before the party and we discussed everything, as well as set up tables and figure out where the food was going to be placed. It was such a blessing to not have to do it all by myself. Our Friends delivered chairs and table and let us borrow their coolers. Another friend surprised us with 35 beautiful favors that everyone loved. We felt so loved.
The day of the birthday party was truly amazing. Everyone mingled and shared the love with one another. We were so grateful as our friends helped in so many ways without even being asked.
Larry was truly celebrated and honored as the LOVE flowed. It will be a day neither one of us will ever forget. All we can say is thank you for loving us the way you did and thank you for allowing us to love you and for being present in our lives.
A few weeks ago. I shared that I was “riding the wave” and flying through the water and air. It felt both scary and adventurous. I know surfers have been injured when the wave hits and they go under. It takes commitment and practice to ride the waves.
This week the wave hit me and I went under! If you have ever been hit by a wave you know what happens. It’s scary when you get tossed around, lose your breath and don’t know what’s happening. You may have bruises or broken bones when and if you finally make it out of the water.
After I returned from the powerful retreat in Costa Rica and was so high, I CRASHED. I felt extreme exhaustion and had no motivation for anything. I felt depleted, empty and like I had lost my MOJO. I even questioned if I was cut out for this work because it took so much out of me.
Although I understood intellectually that this is to be expected after a long trip away and releasing so much energy, not only from this lifetime. but from past lifetimes, I felt fearful that what I was experiencing wouldn’t pass. A friend shared that I had expanded so much that it was natural to then contract.
It was difficult because I couldn’t be around people who were joyful and celebrating the holidays. I canceled parties with friends and just rested to replenish and restore myself. For so many years, I pushed myself to do things without even checking in with my body to see if it was the right thing for me to do. It was more important to please others than to take care of my needs. I didn’t want to be judged and wanted to be liked, so I pushed myself.
Holidays can be very difficult for people if they have lost a loved one or are estranged from family and don’t feel joyful. Sometimes, it’s good to push yourself to join in and get out of the house and sometimes it’s good to take care of yourself and be quiet. Self-love and self-care are extremely important as well as trusting yourself and asking Spirit what to do next.
I chose to BE STILL and quiet until whatever needed to pass through me passed through. And it did! I needed God to fill me up again. I prayed, meditated, let go, surrendered, slept, asked for help and TRUSTED that everything was happening for a reason. I remembered my message from the retreat and that my experience was my experience and it was perfect.
What made this transition easier was how Larry supported and loved me through this experience. Instead of trying to push me to do things because it may make me feel better or not to disappoint my friends, he supported my decision to be still and quiet completely. He encouraged me to stay home and rest. I so appreciated his wisdom and respect for my knowing what I needed to do for myself. I also appreciated my friends who supported and loved me through their texts and calls.
Being on the other side of this and having my MOJO and enthusiasm back, I have learned a few lessons about trust and waiting. Whatever is happening is for my highest good and it will pass. What goes up must come down. What expands must contract.
What I learned from this is that I must protect myself energetically since everything is energy before doing this powerful healing energy work. I picked up someone else’s energy and it needed to be cleared. After I did this clearing, it was almost instantly that the heaviness and exhaustion lifted and I was back to myself again.
I will ground myself and ask the angels to go before me and put a white light or bubble around me for protection in the future.
I am very excited to be giving the talk tonight Awakening to Your Sacred Sexuality at the Wailea Healing Center. Barbara, Antisk and I will be giving the workshop January 5-6. I know it will be a powerful and healing workshop for the women attending as it was for me.
As I sit on the plane waiting for it to take off, my heart is full of gratitude and awe. I am returning to Maui from Oakland, California after assisting Amrita Grace at the Awakening and Healing Sacred Sexuality weekend.
The only way I can describe what I am feeling is that I am on FIRE to share this sacred, holy work with all women. This work is powerful and profound as well as gentle and safe. I have EXPANDED and gone deeper than I ever thought possible. I am healing trauma and deep wounding in my body from this life time and past generations.
What a great opportunity to assist Amrita and learn how to lead a weekend workshop. Learning to teach this work is one of the best decisions I have made. When I complete my training, I will be able to teach this practice all over the world. How good it that and in divine timing.
Being on the “other side” as an assistant, I watched the women on the weekend transform before my very eyes. The women faced their fears and embraced the Goddess and power within. It was extraordinary and beautiful to be a part of.
As part of my six- month training to become a Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator, I will be leading a workshop along with 2 of my classmates on Maui on January 5-6. The weekend is starting to fill up and we are so excited.
On the plane ride to Oakland for the workshop, I experienced a DIVINE set-up or what I call a GodIncidence. I sat next to a young woman that when we started talking, we didn’t stop for 4 hours.
She is a videographer and just finished shooting a spiritual retreat at Lumeria Retreat Center here on Maui. She lives in Mexico and Is a yoga teacher and retreat leader herself. The door opened for me to share about the Awakening and Healing sacred sexuality weekend when she asked, “What are you going to California for?”
After I shared my journey of healing from sexual abuse, she shared she was drugged and raped by a co-worker recently and hadn’t talked about it or had any therapy for it. I validated her. listened to her story and encouraged her to seek treatment. I invited her to attend the workshop here on Maui in January. She seemed excited about attending it and will let me know if it will work for her. She also said, “Perhaps you can come to Mexico to teach about sacred sexuality.”
I was led to share with her that I was an Alcohol and Drug therapist for 20 years. That opened another door that was extremely meaningful. She shared her family dynamics as her mother is an active alcoholic. She also shared how she always attracts men who have addiction problems and didn’t understand why.
I shared my story of growing up with an alcoholic mother and what I did to heal. I told her about 12 step programs and how they helped me understand the disease and recover. She was so receptive and said, “I will definitely check out meetings when I return home.”
Holy moly, I could not have chosen a better woman to sit next to so I could share my gifts and wisdom. As the plane was about to land and we exchanged emails and phone numbers, she looked at me and said, “When I was walking up the aisle to find my seat, I prayed and asked God to let me sit next to someone who would have a message for me.”
I know more than ever that I am always guided and provided for when I listen and follow my heart. I “show up” and trust there is a divine plan and God’s timing is always perfect.
I am sure most of us have been “wrongly” accused of something at one time or another in our lives. It can be very painful and traumatic and may take a long time to heal. Some of you may still be struggling with something in your past that you are holding onto. Of course, it is only natural to want to defend ourselves and prove our innocence. It has been my experience that Spirit allows things to happen to show me how I have grown (or not grown) in how I handle situations where I have been accused of wrong doing.
For example: I attended a water aerobics class this week and the teacher who I had just met invited me to her pool party on Saturday. A few days later, she saw a friend of mine and told her how upset and angry she was with me for something someone told her I did.
Of course, my friend was shocked and said, “That doesn’t sound like Pat.” When my friend called and shared with me what happened, I felt embarrassed because of the things she accused me of doing. I was shocked and felt terrible. I immediately called the teacher to explain what happened. She didn’t answer her phone so I left a message and apologized for the misunderstanding and asked her to please forgive me.
What I know about myself is that I would never intentionally hurt another person. We all have different perspectives and experiences in life so, unfortunately, we do hurt others and may never even know it.
Instead of beating up on myself or doubting myself, after my friend called me, I released it and didn’t let it ruin my day. I called the teacher and took responsibility for what actually happened. I was a little anxious about seeing her when I attended the next aerobics class. When I prayed about it, I heard Spirit reassure and say “You didn’t do anything wrong and I want you to walk into the class with your head held high. Know that I place everything and everyone and every encounter in your life for a reason. You are learning to trust that more deeply.”
I approached the teacher before the class started and asked if she received my phone call. She said, “Yes, and I wrote you a response 2 days ago, but haven’t sent it.” She was still angry at me and couldn’t understand my actions. I tried to explain my side of what happened, but she didn’t want to hear it. I found out later that she accused me of doing something that was second hand.
I needed to let it go and send her love. I am not responsible and cannot control what other people think of me or say about me. All I am responsible for is me, my actions and keeping my side of the street clean. I can hold onto resentments and ruminate about what happened to me until the cows come home. What good does that do? It only hurts me and robs me of my peace. Whenever the situation popped up in my mind during the day, I released judgment and sent her light and love.
Spirit showed me how I had grown because I didn’t take it personally and I moved through it quickly.
This situation brought to mind what happened to me in my career over 10 years ago when I was wrongly accused of something I didn’t do. It devastated me and took every ounce of energy and prayer to move through it. Someone I trusted had gone behind my back to the boss and said things about me that weren’t true and almost cost me my job. I am so grateful for the friends in the department who loved and supported me through this. In the end, I was vindicated and the truth came to the light, which it always does. But during that time, I learned some valuable lessons about life.
Instead of being bitter and resentful when I walked by her office every day, I learned about forgiveness. I quietly prayed, “I release judgment and send light and love.” It was the only way I could remain peaceful and remain at the job until I was ready to retire.
We can become BITTER or BETTER by what life brings us. I chose to become better. I wasn’t going to allow someone else’s behavior to determine my behavior. It wasn’t easy, but peace was more important to me than being right.
How about you? Is there someone in your life that has hurt or betrayed you and you have been unable to let go and forgive? If not now, when? Forgiveness is a choice and it is for you, not the other person. You are not condoning the act, but forgiving the person for what they did. Take yourself out of the prison of resentment and free yourself to live the best life you can live. Remember, we are not promised tomorrow. All we have is today.
Aloha friends, thought some of you may be wondering why I haven’t been contributing to the blog the last couple of weeks. Truth is, I haven’t had anything to write about. I seem to be in a place right now where it’s better for me to listen instead of writing. I was reading in Alan Cohens book entitled “Enough Already- The Power of Radical Contentment” today and Alan shares a story about an annual retreat in Assisi, Italy. The retreat is basically silent, the rule is: “Speak only if what you have to say is more powerful than the silence.” He also shares about the benefit of being silent and listening. We all go through times in our lives when it is better to listen and not speak so much. It seems like this is where I am right now so I will keep listening and write again when I feel whatever I have to say seems more important than my silence.
“For I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29-11. For years, this has been my favorite scripture and I have trusted and believed it would come true.
Have you ever waited and prayed for something that seemed like it took years for it to happen? You may even still be waiting. You watched your friend’s prayers being answered while you waited patiently (and sometimes impatiently) for yours to come true. You prayed and prayed, surrendered it to God, did a vision board and still nothing happened? But you didn’t GIVE UP on God’s promise and your dream because in your heart of hearts, you KNEW that someday it would happen. It is my belief that God puts the desires of our heart in our hearts to be fulfilled in God’s perfect timing. What is the desire of your heart?
Many of you already know my story because I have shared in past blogs the desires of my heart. The desire of my heart was to meet my soul mate. I knew deep within that was the reason I followed my heart to Maui. I thought it would happen quickly since I had already been waiting for over a decade.
Maui is an island that couples in love come to so it wasn’t easy watching couples walk hand in hand on the beach every day. I learned to bless them and send them love, trusting my day would come in the perfect and right time.
My day has come and I would like to shout it from the mountain tops. I am so grateful that I waited and trusted in God’s perfect plan and timing. Here is my story:
I met Larry 2 ½ years ago at a dance when I first moved to Maui. It was the first dance that I attended and didn’t know a soul. I liked how Larry looked and danced so I asked him to dance. Being a gal from the east coast, I knew I had to ask the guys to dance if I wanted to dance. I found out that he was from Connecticut so there was some connection, but that was it. When I moved here permanently in Sept. 2012, we started to take walks together and share spiritual truths. Over the 2 years, we became best friends, talked on the phone daily and said, “I love you” to one another. We learned to trust and depend on one another’s love.
All of my friends and children kept asking me, “What is it with Larry?” because all I talked about was spending time with Larry. His friends asked him the same question. We would both just say, “We are just friends.” I didn’t feel any romantic feelings for him and that was fine for both of us because we didn’t want to risk losing the relationship we had.
When I moved a few months ago, Larry was there for me every step of the way supporting and loving me. There was nothing he wouldn’t do for me. I truly don’t know how it happened, other than the anointing of the Holy Spirit, but I noticed some “stirrings” for Larry deep within my soul and I suspected something had shifted in regards to my relationship with Larry.
I was shocked and beside myself, for sure. I didn’t want to tell him because I had made it very clear to him that I wasn’t interested in a romantic relationship and I was scared how this would affect our current friendship.
As I stood in front of the mirror brushing my teeth one morning, I heard God say, “You need to tell him your feelings.” I argued, “I don’t want to tell him my feelings” God said, “You need to tell him your feelings.” I said, “Ok, I will tell him.” I knew God would win out eventually so I gave in and agreed to tell him. We went out to dinner that night and I just couldn’t get it out of my mouth so I didn’t tell him. As I walked to the bathroom, I looked up and noticed a BIG sign on the wall that said, “TRUTH.” I thought, “Yikes, my God is everywhere and I better pay attention.”
The next day, I called Larry and asked him to come over because I was feeling overwhelmed. Of course, he said, “Yes, I will come over.” As he sat across from me on the chair, he said, “So, what you are overwhelmed about?” Here was the moment of truth and I didn’t want to blow it. I took a big gulp and said, “I have a bomb to drop.” He looked at me and said, “Ok, what is it?” I blurted out, “I’m having feelings for you.”
The rest is history. My soul mate has been here for 2 ½ years RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME but neither one of us recognized it. The Holy Spirit opened my mind and heart at the perfect and right timing. Did we both need to do more “inner work” and let go of old beliefs in order for this to happen and for us to be READY for this sacred relationship? I don’t know. All I know is that we are a perfect match and he is all that I prayed for and more. He loves me like I’ve never been loved before and I love him like I’ve never loved before. It truly feels like a match made in heaven.
We love to play, talk, pray, laugh, dance and enjoy the present moment. We bring God into everything and want to be “vessels of love” in this world for the rest of our lives together. We believe God has a plan for us as a couple, but we don’t know what that is yet and that is ok with me. Larry is joining me in RI when I come back in August. I am excited for him to meet my children and for them to meet the man God has brought into my life to love me.
My heart intention for writing this is to inspire YOU to know that God has a plan for your life and that God answers prayers and can be trusted to grant YOU the desires of your heart. Don’t ever give up because Love is waiting for you.
MY LIFE UNFOLDS IN DIVINE ORDER – Daily Word
”In an effort to achieve my goals quickly, I may push and hurry. Perhaps I’m trying to harvest my crop of dreams and intentions before they’ve had the chance to mature. Just as seeds need nourishment and time, divine ideas yield positive results when they unfold in their natural time and order. I align with divine order by putting God first in my thoughts and actions. I affirm: I am immersed in the natural flow of life. Attuned to Spirit, I am open to guidance. I listen, observe, and receive nuances, nudges and intuition. I wait or act as guided, trusting that divine order is unfolding. I reap the awards when I align myself with God and have faith in divine timing. “
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