Tears poured out of me & I wanted to crawl up in a ball
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During meditation this morning, I imagined myself picking people for my team. I remember as a child when the captain of each team picked who they wanted to be on their teams. How horrible it felt if you were picked last.
Instead of team mates, I imagined myself picking words to be on my team and support me on my spiritual journey. I picked 11 words or values starting with Love, Trust, Peace, Joy, Contentment, Freedom, Happiness, Hope, Gratitude, Prayer and Faith. I then imagined myself, as the captain of the team, in the middle of a huddle doing a cheer together. As a cheerleader in high school, this was easy for me to imagine. The cheer was “The team is in the middle, the captain is at the head, they all got together and this is what they said, T.E.A.M. go TEAM go.” I felt so safe and protected being in the middle of the huddle. Perhaps it is also like being in the middle of all the angels and our loved ones.
This visualization reminded me that I am the captain of my life and my team. My team is there to support me and they are dedicated to my success. They want me to win and will do what I direct them to do. In order for them to support me, I must know what I want and then be able to communicate what I want them to do. Do you have a team of supportive people and do you feel protected and loved?
To be the captain of my team means I must be responsible for my life, my thoughts, feelings, actions and choices. I can surround myself with people who are supportive and loving or with people who are energy vampires. I can surround myself with all the values that I chose for my team and call upon them at any time when I need them.
It has been an interesting week and I have spent quite a bit of time alone and going within, remembering what has happened in the past and listening to what Spirit is saying to me today. As I shared last week, I am looking for a new home and there are decisions I have to make. Do I need to make provisions for a storage unit for my furniture and where will I live if I don’t find a place before the end of the month?
As the days tick off, and it gets closer to the end of the month, I am constantly in prayer and choosing trust instead of worry and fear. Have I felt fear? Yes I have. I wrote in my journal one morning that I felt like a little girl who wanted her daddy to take care of her because I didn’t feel strong.
I have surrounded myself with beautiful, supportive, loving beings on my team. I have asked for prayer and help when I needed it. I am doing all I know to do and it’s up to God to do the rest. I know that God is working behind the scenes and preparing the perfect and right place for me to live. I am acting “as if” and packing boxes and cleaning my ohana. I know the miracle is around the corner as I let go and trust.
In prayer, I heard God say to “REST, instead of pushing and rushing. Give your fears to me and have faith that you are being taken care of. Let go of worrying about HOW your needs will be met because I will take care of all the details. Be open to receiving gifts and help from other people.”
Has this ever happened to you? One minute you are full of peace, knowing all is well and the next minute you are so stressed that the tears are pouring out of you and you just want to crawl up in a ball and go to sleep? Perhaps just the human condition! When I’m feeling like this, it is an invitation not to judge myself, but to love and accept myself just the way I am. It is not only an invitation to be gentle and to love myself, but to allow others to love me when I’m feeling so vulnerable and weak. To strengthen my faith, I have been carrying a heart shaped stone that says FAITH on it. Whenever my faith is shaky, I just put my hand in my pocket and peace returns. Today, I found a small rock that said, TRUST so that is in my other pocket.
Years ago, when I worked as an alcohol and drug therapist, I had a patient who had real difficulty with the concept of God and a Higher Power. He truly wanted to believe, but it took time for him to get there. I gave him a rock to carry with him and he called it his “Pocket God.” He said, “Pat, until I am able to believe, I will carry in my pocket Pats “Pocket God.” In time, through this small act of faith, he found his own Higher Power.
My own experience this week reminded me of what happened with my client. I told my friend, Kati, “My faith is shaky, please pray for me. I am not feeling like a woman of faith today.” She said, “I know who you are, I will remember for you, until you can remember again.” Sometimes, I just need another person who believes in me to hold that for me until I get aligned with Spirit again and know the truth of who I am and who God is in my life.
What I know about the spiritual life is that it is about progress and not perfection. I pray, ask for help, let go, trust, surrender, do a gratitude list and feel my feelings. I don’t have to pretend that a woman of faith doesn’t have fear. I am trusting that I am moving through it and will come out the other side stronger, brighter and lighter.
I want to stay in the middle of the huddle, with my team of angels and loved ones surrounding me. I know I am protected and God is showering us with divine love. I hold Love, Trust, Peace, Joy, Contentment, Freedom, Happiness, Hope, Gratitude, Prayer and Faith in my heart.
Thank you or praying for me, reaching out to me and offering your home for me to stay until I find my right and perfect home. Thank you for being on my team. GO TEAM GO.
I am Fearless and Free – Daily Word
I am an overcomer. I am bold and fearless. My indomitable inner power comes not from my ego, but from the power of God within me – for God and I are one. All my accomplishments are the result of a TEAM effort. With God as my partner, no one or no thing can defeat me.
“Who do you think you are going away by yourself?”
I was still in prayer and thought about writing my blog. I said to God, “I don’t know what I am going to write about this week, please give me something inspirational to write about.” I know now that it always comes at the perfect and right time, so I wasn’t stressing.
I had just finished my prayer when the phone rang. It was my friend Donna from Massachusetts. We chatted for a while catching up and sharing our lives with one another. We were about to get off the phone when she said, “Oh, my daughter and her boyfriend broke up right before Easter and guess why they broke up?” I had no idea and said, “Why?” Donna said, “He wants to be a priest, so it is bitter sweet. Of course, she is heartbroken, but handling it the best she can. Then Donna said, “Here is the miracle. My daughter went back to college and someone knocked on her door and asked if she would be a part of the committee for the Catholic group at the college. My daughter said, “But I am Protestant.” They said, “That is ok, we want you.” She thought about it and said, “Yes, I will do it.” After that, they invited her to a 4 – day conference in San Diego, all expenses paid.Right after the breakup, Donna told her daughter, “If not this, then something better.” She said, “I never thought God would work so quickly!” While her daughter’s heart had a crack in it, God was helping to heal it nicely.I was so happy for her daughter and how God provided this opportunity for her, especially in her time of need.
As I took my walk along the ocean that afternoon, I thought about Donna’s daughter and how that opportunity just “CAME TO HER.” I love it when things come to me and I know they are from Spirit. I have had many opportunities, both big and small come to me out of nowhere. I have an example of what happened this morning when I went “yard sailing” I had an unexpected guest stay over for two nights and she slept on the couch. I found the sheets that I had bought a while ago tucked away in a suitcase. The only problem was that I only had a bottom sheet – no top sheet or pillow case. Of course, she didn’t care and we made do with what I had. Next week, I invited a friend to stay over for a couple of nights before and after her conference in Maui.
I often go “yard sailing” on Saturday mornings, but when I woke up this Saturday morning, I didn’t feel like going and decided to have a quiet morning with a walk and swim in the ocean. As I drove to the ocean later in the day, I spotted a yard sale on the way and decided to stop. I spotted the pillow case immediately and bought it for $.25 -and it was the exact same color as the bottom sheet I had at home.Thank you God, you provide for all of my needs. I went to the beach and on my way home; I stopped at another yard sale right on my street. Guess what I bought for one dollar? A top sheet and it was also the same green color as the bottom sheet and pillow case. This is a small example of how God knows our needs and provides at the perfect and right time – when we trust and believe.
I’d like to share a story from my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” that happened about 20 years ago. God provided the exact amount of money for me to go on a vacation to Bermuda and it came to me,quite unexpectedly and miraculously.
The chapter is “God is my Travel Agent.” With the stress of my husband being unemployed and my own personal problems dealing with sexual abuse that I was working through, my body screamed out for attention. I experienced one sleepless night after another, and constant tension headaches during the day. I desperately needed peace and tranquility. I felt headed for a nervous breakdown and knew I needed to just do something for myself, away from my family responsibilities.
God speaks to me through my dreams and several times a week during that time, I dreamt about going to Bermuda. I pay attention when I have recurring dreams because God uses them to get my attention. “Okay, God, I’ll go to a travel agency and at least check it out.” I went to the travel agency and said, “I want a safe place for a woman to travel alone.” I had never gone away by myself, especially out of the country. “Yes, Bermuda is the place to go,” she answered. “In fact, we have some great deals that I would be glad to show you. I’ve traveled there myself several times and it’s safe. I have the perfect hotel for you.” I instantly fell in love with Angel’s Grotto. The picture on the brochure said it all – overlooking a pristine stretch of pink sand and Turquoise Ocean. It looked like the perfect getaway.
I thought to myself. I’ll never be able to afford this. What am I doing God? I haven’t even told my husband about it. He’s going to think I’m out of my mind, especially since his unemployment runs out and he doesn’t have a job yet. I reluctantly asked, “What does this all cost?” “Only $1,200, everything included. You can’t beat a price like that. Shall I book it?” “Well, yes,” I stammered. “But I have to check with my husband first and see if he’s okay with it. I’ll call you tomorrow.” It seemed like a good deal, but I didn’t have $1200. I didn’t even have $100. As I began to mull it over, the guilt set in and my inner critic attacked relentlessly. “Who do you think you are even thinking about going away? You’re selfish and self- centered. You don’t deserve this. You’re only thinking about yourself.”
I prayed and asked God to guide me. I asked Him to shut the door if this wasn’t His will and open it if it was. Slowly and deliberately, I changed my thinking. “I am deserving and there’s nothing to be guilty about. God is the source of everything and will provide.” When I went home, I said to my husband, “I’m thinking about going to Bermuda on vacation – by myself.” “Oh! Where are you going to get the money?”, he asked. I said, “I’m praying in the money and if God wants me to go, He/She will open the door and provide the money and if not, I won’t go.”
I prayed, waited and watched the money come in. I jumped at it when I received a $50 check from the telephone company inviting me to change carriers. I put an ad in the newspaper for a white fur coat I no longer wore. I only received one phone call inquiring about the coat. When she came and tried it on, she thought it was a bargain for $50.
A few weeks later, I ran into a neighbor while taking a walk. It surprised the heck out of me when she asked, “Pat, do you know of anyone who can help me with my ninety year old mother who just came home from the hospital? I don’t want her to be alone at night. I’m with her in the day and will prepare her evening meal.” “What exactly does the person need to do?” I asked, “I need someone to come over at five o’clock and sit with her while she has her dinner. They would help her to bed right after supper, and stay with her four hours a night during the week.” “I’m interested.” I thought I would jump out of my skin with excitement. “I can pay ten bucks an hour. Does that work for you?” “Yes, I’d be glad to help your mother. When do I start?” “Next week would be great.” The money I made quickly added up and I achieved my $1,200 goal in no time. God opened the door and provided all the money I needed to go to Bermuda.
We have a God that loves us so much and knows all of our needs, even before we know what we need. Sometimes, we ask, like I did for the money for Bermuda and other times, we are provided for without even asking. I didn’t ask for the pillow case and sheet, even though I needed them. I love the concept of open and closed doors as a way of praying and being guided. I trust if the door is closed, it was not meant to be and is for my highest good. If the door opens, I walk through with peace, ease and grace knowing I am in God’s divine will.
“I woke up with a pit in my stomach”
Something happened this week that reminded me of how I processed conflicting feelings at the same time. It felt like a “flashback” of a very difficult time in my life with one of my children 16 years ago. This is what happened: I woke up startled in the middle of the night with banging on the front door. I quickly grabbed my robe and ran down the stairs. A parent’s worst nightmare was about to happen. A policeman was standing at the door and I can still remember the terror I felt as if it were yesterday. “Mrs. Hastings, your son was in a very bad accident and he is in Rhode Island hospital.” I blurted out, “What happened, is he okay?” “I am sorry, but we cannot give you any information. We have been trying to call you, but your phone has been busy. I found out later that it was accidentally off the hook.
I ran upstairs and woke my husband up to tell him the news. I threw on something and we were in the car racing to the hospital, following the police car. We didn’t say a word to one another and of course my mind raced to the worst scenario. When we arrived at the emergency room, the nurse escorted us into the room my son was in. I will never forget the pain in my heart to see my 16 year old son wounded and crying out in pain. A short time later, I just about fainted and couldn’t breathe. I had never had a panic attack before, but I had one that night and I was put on a stretcher outside my son’s room. My husband went back and forth between my son and me.
My son has rods in his leg and arm that are permanent from the car accident. When I saw the pictures of the car, I realized they should not be alive and I was so grateful that they were all alive. Shortly after that, I found out that they had been to a club and had smoked pot that night. I was so angry. I remember having the same feelings at the same time – gratitude and anger.
I had the “flashback” because of a similar experience of having conflicting feelings at the same time this week. I asked myself, “How am I to process this and hold the energy of these conflicting feelings?” This is what happened. A close friend of mine shared something wonderful that happened to her and I was so excited for her. A couple of hours later, another close friend shared something that was devastating to him. I was experiencing the same thing, both the gratitude and the devastation at the same time. I asked myself, “Could I be present for both of them at the same time”? With God’s grace, I was able to be present for both of my friends.
We never know what life is going to give us, do we? One minute we are high on life and everything is going smoothly. The next minute we are experiencing a great loss and may feel devastated or betrayed. All I know for sure is that whatever is happening in my life will work out for the good because of my faith and trust in God. Everything that is happening in your life is for a reason and ultimately to grow your soul.
That same day, I received an email from my friend Karen and it put things into perspective for me and reminds me to rise above “victimhood and poor me attitude” when things don’t go the way I want them to go or when a loved one is struggling and in pain. This is the email she sent:
“You have chosen to walk this journey with many other souls. Each and every one of them is in your life for a reason, an experience, or to share in your life lessons and spiritual growth. What I believe is, before we even came into this lifetime we chose each and every player in this game called life. Imagine this visual. You are sitting with a council of spiritual guides and you’re talking about your life plan including what you would like to heal, experience, and create in this lifetime. Then you meet with each soul that will support you in this plan and you decide on the roles they will play in your life experience. Together you discuss and agree upon a soul’s plan that will support all involved in their life’s intentions. Every decision and choice is made from unconditional love. This includes the players in the game that agree to play the difficult roles in order to achieve the desired intentions.”
If you can see it from a higher perspective, that it is for your spiritual growth and that you have chosen this before you even came to the earth, would it be easier to go through? We all have our lessons to learn for our soul to grow. We have chosen these lessons.
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime.
When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
~Author Unknown
No relationship or experience is ever a waste of time. If it did not bring you what you want, it taught you what you don’t want. The greatest gift we can give anyone is our presence and love. When you need encouragement, remember these things. You are stronger that you realize. Life’s inevitable adversities call forth courage and the growth of our souls. You have everything you need inside of you, including wisdom. God’s plan will unfold with perfect timing and in the perfect way. Being vulnerable and allowing other players to nurture and be present for us allows our hearts to connect in a very special way for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
“Disappointments are the hooks upon which God hangs his victories.
“Disappointments are the hooks upon which God hangs his victories. There is a way to deal with disappointments that can make you a winner. Remove the D and replace it with H. Thus, disappointment becomes “HISAPPOINTMENT.” In other words, remove the incident from the projections of your expectations and imagine that God has caused the situation to turn out this way because He has a bigger and better plan than the one you formulated. Our idea of the way things should be pales in the face of God’s vision for how good it can and will be.” Dare to Be Yourself – Alan Cohen pg. 179
We’ve all had experiences of being disappointed when things don’t go the way we thought they were going to go. We need to know how to work through the disappointment and not “stay stuck” or resentful because things didn’t go the way we wanted or expected them to go. It is an opportunity to trust God that whatever is happening is for our good. I must admit that much of my disappointments have come from “I want what I want and I want it now” attitude. Can you relate?
I love HISAPPOINTMENT because whenever I’m not sure of what is the best path for me, I pray and ask God to either open or close the door. When God closes the door, I trust that there is something bigger and better for me. I have experienced closed doors at the very last minute, and it has always been for my good. This spoke to me because I was feeling very disappointed over something that happened during the week. While I was at church a few weeks ago, I spotted a very nice looking man sitting by himself in the back of the church. I wondered if he was new because I had never seen him before. As we were all walking out, I turned around and he was behind me. I introduced myself and we began talking. He just moved here from the Big Island and he said, “It is my second time here and it was suggested that I come to Unity because I am looking for this GOD THING.” That was all I needed to hear and blurted out, “Would you like to go for coffee or a walk sometime?” His face lit up and he said, “Yes, I would love to do that.” I laughed and said, “I am not usually this forward.” I gave him my business card with my phone number on it. He said he would call me.
I was really excited and later shared with my girlfriends what happened. I described the feeling that I had when we smiled at one another. I actually had a physical sensation and felt a strong connection with him. I felt the disappointment as the week went on that I hadn’t heard from him. I worked on letting go and trusting that it was a closed door. I wondered if he was threatened by my profession as a coach and author or worse yet, I thought perhaps he thought I wanted to get together so I could be his life coach. Good lesson for me to learn for the future. I will not give a man my card that I am interested in!
I looked for him this past Sunday at church, but he wasn’t there. What happened next is really amazing because I received a “God wink.” I stopped to talk to one of the women before going into church. She said, “Pat, I have to tell you what happened when I worked at the new bookstore in the mall on Monday. A man came in and asked for Pat Hastings’ book, “Simply a Woman of Faith”. I said, Oh, I know Pat Hastings, but I don’t think we have her book. I was stunned and asked her, “Was his name John?” She said, “Yes, it was.”
What are the chances of me finding out that the day after we met that he went to the bookstore to find my book? I felt grateful that I didn’t make up “this connection” in my head and that perhaps he felt the same connection. I don’t know the reason why God closed the door (that he didn’t call) and I don’t need to know. Perhaps he found the book in another bookstore and the book will help him find this “GOD THING.” I know for sure that I am to pray for him that he finds what he is searching for. I have let go and trust that if we are meant to talk in the future, we will.
There is another opportunity in my life that I am praying about and asking God to open or close the door. I only want God’s will and it is not clear to me yet what that is. All I know is that it is new territory for me, and that can be scary. But I am trusting divine love and guidance. It seems like God is inviting me to “receive” something that I have wanted for a long time and on a “silver platter.” It almost feels like it is too good to be true, but I know that everything that is good is true. Do I feel deserving and worthy to receive this gift from God? YES, I DO, and if God opens the door, I am going for it with gusto! I will share with you when the door is opened or closed.
I just learned a name for a behavior I once practiced in my life through reading Alan Cohen’s book, “Dare to be Yourself.” It is called a “Planaholic.” It states “our culture is obsessed with planning and much of it is inspired by fear. Heavy scheduling is a way to avoid intimacy. If we are constantly busy, we don’t have to face our feelings and deal with issues in relationships. If you are busy doing, doing, doing out of fear of being, you will never release that magnificent person who is calling to live and breathe and bring unique and precious gifts to the world.”
I am happy to say I am a recovering “Planaholic” and am so grateful for this wonderful shift in consciousness. It is amazing because today I prefer to live my day without plans. It feels so good to be in the flow, spontaneous and follow my intuition all through my day. I wake up and say, “thank you God for the miracles and surprises that will come my way today.” Course in Miracles states,“The healed mind does not plan.” I lived in my head for such a long time and didn’t trust my intuition. Today, I trust my heart and intuition because I believe God speaks to us through our intuition. If I listened to my head and not my heart, I would not be on this sacred journey to Maui. When I meet people and they ask me, “What brought you to Maui, I say, MY HEART.”
Since I no longer “do, do, do” and am learning to BE and feel, I am discovering more of myself and living the life of my dreams. It is truly the greatest adventure of my life since I followed my heart and moved to Maui. I am discovering the real me and finding the beauty and magnificence within. God is calling us all to walk this sacred journey of finding the love within. A Course in Miracles states “We are here to discover the blocks to our awareness of love’s presence, so we can release this and let our true loving nature shine forth in full splendor.”
“What’s wrong with you that you haven’t manifested your man?”
I had been reading the daily devotional “Until Today” by Iyanla Vanzant for many years. I put it on the bookshelf when I moved to Maui over a year ago, until yesterday. While in prayer yesterday, something nudged me to dust it off and start reading it again. I think Spirit knew I was going to need the message today.
Here is what I read:
Today I am devoted to living without judgements! I am devoted to letting things be! (March 4)
“From where you sit, it may seem that certain people should know better, they should be better and they know they should be doing better. The truth is that every time you should someone, you make a judgment. Your judgement reflects your belief in right and wrong based on what you know or may not know. Your judgement reveals your attitude of superiority that says you have the right to determine what must be done, how it must be done and who must do it. Your judgement shows that you resist accepting things the way they are. A judgement is a means of control. It is an attempt to get people to do what you need and want them to do in order to feel better about yourself. A judgement is a sign of fear. Most important of all, a judgement is the way you set yourself up to be judged by others.”
I received a text from my brother when I woke up this morning informing me that my 95 year old step-mother had a bad fall 2 weeks ago and had to go and live with her sister. Of course, I called her immediately and told her that I hadn’t called because no one had told me about the accident. I left a message on her phone just yesterday and planned on calling again today. She explained to me what happened and reassured me that she was getting better. I felt upset and angry with my brother for not letting me know sooner.
I knew God was speaking to me loud and clear through the reading because I had just finished journaling and writing about my feelings about not being informed that she had the accident. I was “shoulding” on my brother. Many years ago, I put this statement on my phone “I will not should on myself” to remind me not to should on myself, which I did quite a bit at that time.
What I realized is that feelings are not right or wrong. Of course, I would feel angry that I wasn’t informed about it and left out of the loop. I needed to give myself permission to feel the anger and hurt for as long as I needed to feel it. So often, we want to JUMP OVER or deny the feelings because we don’t think it is spiritual to feel these feelings. If I don’t allow myself to feel all of my feelings and try to deny them by whatever I do over them (eat, shop, drink, stay busy, work, gamble) they will often come out sideways and at an innocent bystander or a loved one.
I allowed myself to feel my feelings and then I chose to let them go and not judge my brother. I will speak kindly to him and ask him to let me know in the future when something happens.
Prior to this incident, I was thinking about what God wanted me to write about for the weekly blog. I was working on my “right or wrong” and black and white kind of thinking that I grew up with. Either I was blaming someone for something I didn’t like or I was blaming myself for doing something wrong. Whenever I blame someone for something, I put myself into victim mentality.
I choose not to believe this kind of” right or wrong” thinking anymore because I know I am a perfect divine expression of God and I am always at the perfect and right place in my life. I also believe God’s timing is in perfect and in right order. As divine beings we can really do no wrong. We make choices. Choices have consequences. The only way wrong gets in is when we put it on the path, when we judge ourselves or others. Life always offers us the opportunity to do it over until we receive the desired results of our hearts.
I am grateful when God shines His light into my heart and shows me the truth about myself. As I have written before, it is the desire of my heart to meet my soul mate in Maui. I believe God has put that desire in my heart and it will be fulfilled in God’s time, not mine. For the most part, I am patient and focus on loving myself, having fun and living my life to the fullest. I know like attracts like and l will attract a man who also loves himself and is living his life to the fullest.
I was surprised when I uncovered this false belief about myself this week that needed to be changed and transformed. Have you ever wondered why you can manifest things so easily sometimes and other times, it seems like it takes forever? Perhaps that is God’s way of letting me know I AM NOT IN CONTROL. Have you ever asked yourself, “What’s wrong with me that I cannot manifest this in my life or thought that I must be blocking my good because it hasn’t happened yet?” Yes, there may be blocks that need to be released so I can receive my highest good. But, it may simply be not God’s timing! Acceptance and surrender is the answer here.
This is what I experienced when I went to the weekly dance and noticed 2 women with new boyfriends. The desire for a man in my life was activated and the thought popped into my head “What’s wrong with you that you haven’t manifested your man yet?” Thank God, I recognized this false belief immediately and knew that wasn’t the truth at all.
Whenever I focus on what I “perceive” to be wrong or what’s missing in my life, I lower my vibration and frequency. Whenever my mind takes me into fear or doubt, I need to affirm the truth and call in love and light. My affirmation is “Everything I need is streaming toward me, I open my hands to receive and everything is unfolding according to a divine plan and in the perfect timing.”
There is nothing wrong with you or me, we are God’s perfect expression in this world and we are made in Gods’ image and likeness. That doesn’t mean that we don’t need to change because life is about change and we are constantly evolving and growing into the person God intended us to be.
I am learning to trust the process of life and the lessons that show up for my highest good on a daily basis. I trust God to lead me and show me the way because I only want God’s will in my life. I ask for what I need on a daily basis and am open to receiving all the good that is mine. I know that whatever I need, whenever I need it, wherever I need it, for as long as I need it, will always be there for me. I have read that the perfect prayer is to ask for the highest and best for my life.
I am attuned to my divine nature – Daily Word March/April pg. 49
Because I am made in the image of likeness of God, my essence is divine. In prayer, I affirm my higher nature and invite clarity on how to more fully express it in my thoughts, words and actions. Settling into the silence, I quiet my mind and heart. I become aware of my soul-essence and of God’s gentle presence. This presence is always within me; my spiritual practice simply brings it into focus. I rest in the Presence for a time of meditation. I continue my spiritual practice as I bring my awareness back to the activities of the day. I remain attuned to the present moment. Deeply connected to my divine nature, I shine God’s presence into the world.
“Lessons are coming fast and furious”
For the first time in my life, I have an iPhone. I used to have a basic phone where all I did was make and receive phone calls and it was great. Now I am in the big leagues with an iPhone that has so many functions that I am still learning how to use it. Being in Maui and not knowing the streets, I especially love the GPS who talks to me and tells me where to go. When I am going in the wrong direction, some funny thing comes on the screen and she quickly “RECALCULATES” and gets me back in the direction I need to go. I feel like God has been “RECALCULATING” me all week long. Please let me share the events of the week with you.
After I returned from my mini vacation to Kauai, I tried to settle back in to my new home. The first thing that happened was that I learned the house where my ohana is in, was sold and the landlords were moving out Dec 6, 2012. I knew when I rented my place that the house was on the market, so it wasn’t a complete surprise. I also trusted that I would be provided for and if it didn’t work out for me to stay here, I would just find another place to live. Easier said than done! I don’t really want to move out and look for another place. I know that I may not have to move out when the new owners buy it, but there is that possibility. Since the house was on the market when I rented it, I signed a 3 month lease, which will bring me to January 17th. I am trusting that nothing will change and I will easily sign a another one year lease with the new owners.
I wish I could say there was no fear, but there was. This is just another area I am being invited to trust more deeply that God is in control and has me covered. I know that everything that happens is a gift and for my highest good. I also know that all separation is fear when I forget that God and I are one. When I remember God is with me and I am with God, fear leaves me.
Today’s lesson in the book, “Absolutely Effortless Prosperity” by Bijan is “I am realizing that all of my experiences happen for a reason. I choose to see each one as a part of my personal growth. Because of this, I can give up control and let God lead the way. God knows what is best for me, far better than I do. Today, I know that God loves me more than I love myself. When I trust God, I do not question any event that happens. I know that everything that occurs in my life is in my best interest. My power to create miracles for myself begins as I realize that I can make a conscious choice to trust God.”
After reading and pondering this powerful message, I was “RECALCULATED” and trusted that I was going in the right direction again because I felt peaceful. But, it didn’t last for long. I began feeling stressed and my chest felt heavy (very unusual for me). I no longer felt the peace that I had been experiencing since I arrived in Maui. I wrote in my journal one night, “God, I’m not sure what is going on, I feel like crying. I have a headache (and I rarely get headaches). Things seem off. I am really struggling and can’t seem to shake this heaviness. Please bring me into your truth and light. What is coming up God? Is it fear, control? I want my peace back and to live in the flow. How and why have I lost my peace?”
A couple of things seemed to be coming up for me that I was able to identify. I was feeling some fear around not having enough money and coming from a place of lack and scarcity, something I have worked on for many years. I remembered what I read a few weeks ago about the meaning of prosperity. Prosperity is knowing I will always be provided for. I was being “RECALCULATED” again to the truth of what I know in my being. How easy it is to forget the truth that God is my source. Thank God for my inner GPS to get me going in the right direction again.
As I have shared in other blogs, it is the desire of my heart to meet my soul mate and I know that God brought me to Maui to meet him here. I have been opening my heart and thanking God for the right and perfect man for several years now. I thought I was ready until recently when I started to date (yea) and felt some anxiety come up. After I prayed about it, it seemed like some of my stress and heaviness was coming from dating again and wanting to know what was going to happen (control). Instead of just having fun and relaxing, I was obsessing a bit and perhaps, even ready to sabotage myself. After I welcomed the fear, I reassured myself and said, “Of course you have some fear, this is new and it’s been a while since you dated.”
I am happy to report that today I am relaxing and giving myself permission to play and have fun. I don’t need to see the future; all I need to do is to live in the present moment and allow whatever happens to happen. What is mine will come to me at the right and perfect time.
My friend recently said to me, “Lessons are coming fast and furious to many of us light workers.” This is true and I am grateful that I can work through these lessons rather quickly and RECALCULATE so I can go on to the next lesson. I want to be free and live my life to the fullest. Once I recognize that fear or control is coming up, I can choose not to stay there. I can choose Love because I know Love is all there is and fear is an illusion, although sometimes, it really feels real.
Are you living your life in peace? Are there areas in your life where you need to RECALCULATE?
Here are my 6 TIPS TO LIVE IN PEACE that I practice daily.
1. Show Up – Develop a daily spiritual practice of prayer and meditation.
2. Ask For What You Want – and expect an answer. Be clear about what you want. Visualize and Believe.
3. Be Grateful – An attitude of gratitude is the key to make things manifest quickly. Focus on what you have, rather than what’s missing.
4. Forgive Yourself & Others – Holding onto resentment and anger blocks the energy flow and prevents or slows down your ability to manifest your dreams.
5. Have Faith – Your prayers are being answered. Faith is believing in what you cannot see. Change your thinking.
6. Let Go of Control – Trust the process and surrender to what is. You are exactly where you need to be.
Put Your Dreams into Action – I Did
Daily Word
“While change is inevitable, my response or reaction to change is up to me. How can I best prepare myself for change, and how can I make the most of it? Change is a transition from one thing, one place, one state of mind to another. I AM EVOLVING FROM WHAT WAS TO WHAT IS. I AM BECOMING MORE THAN I WAS BEFORE. Just as my view changed as I transitioned from childhood to adulthood, I now see that I am gaining a new perspective during this transition. I may be stepping into unfamiliar territory, but this step is an opportunity to grow in spiritual awareness. With each shift or change in my life, I am moving forward.”
While living in Maui for 6 months, I was open and willing to listen to the inner voice of the Divine guiding me to rest, to BE and to receive God’s unconditional love. As I have shared in other blogs, I was a “HUMAN DOING” and pushed and tried to make things happen. Today, because of “BEING” and letting go, I am experiencing a peace and serenity that l haven’t known to this depth before. It feels like I am in a “Bubble of Grace.” It is truly a miracle that I am not feeling afraid and obsessed with the sale of my house. I stay in peace and gratitude KNOWING God’s timing is perfect and the right and perfect buyer is here now. I may be tempted to travel down the “what if” highway, but I don’t allow myself because that will keep me stuck and in fear. I used to beg God for what I wanted; now I ask, am open to receive, and then say “thank you” and trust.
OMG I am returning to Maui to live in 2 weeks. I am living my dream and am very excited about stepping into the unknown and into God’s arms. The MASTER PLAN is in place and I am saying YES to receive more good in my life. As God helps me to usher out the old (scarcity thinking, stuff in my house, etc.), I am trusting God will be there to welcome me and usher in the new (new life new home, new friends, new church.)
What I have learned about this process is to be clear about what is my work and what is God’s. When I came back to Rhode Island on June 27, it was my intention to stay focused, clean out my house and get it ready to be sold. I also visualized that it would flow with peace, ease and grace. It truly has, and everything I needed was there when I needed it. For example, my friend Steve was going to paint my bedroom and den and I planned on buying the paint the next day. I knew there were lots of old cans of paint in the basement that I was planning to throw away, but I was happily surprised to find 2 gallons of old unopened paint!
I don’t know where they came from! And the best part was that it was the perfect and right color for the rooms. Of course, I was in deep gratitude for the miraculous paint that “showed up.”
My work in this process was to prepare my house to be sold to the best of my ability, to visualize, to trust, to ask for help, to stay positive and grateful. God’s part is the HOW it will unfold. I know God is working behind the scenes and has me covered. God knows more than I do what I need and when the house will sell. God knows the best place for me to live when I land in Maui. When I worry and obsess, I dishonor myself and the God within. It is a choice to trust and walk in faith. What helps me to trust is to remember what God has done for me in the past.
For example, I remember God’s word to me several years ago when I was at a very low point and experiencing debilitating fear. I was in the middle of writing my book and wanted to give up. In fact, I told God “I am not doing it; you have chosen the wrong person.” While at work one day, I opened a magazine and across the page was “I have a plan that will make all of your dreams come true.” I cut it out and still have it as a reminder of how I sobbed with joy when I read it because I knew God was speaking to me. The message gave me the courage and strength to finish my book. I shudder to think how fear almost robbed me of my dream. I am so grateful because I would not be where I am today and moving to Maui to live if I stayed stuck in the fear.
Not only has God “showed up” for me by giving me strength, courage, grace, faith, peace and serenity, but my family and friends have reached out to support and help me by painting rooms, cleaning windows, gardening, cleaning my basement, fixing my toilet and the list goes on and on. I am so GRATEFUL for the love I have experienced.
As I reflect on the past 2 years, I realized that my Hawaii adventure has also been a process. It may look like I spent 6 months in Maui from January to June and made a snap decision to move back there. Not so! Before I even went to Maui for the first time in November 2010 for 2 weeks, I had a psychic reading that I have never forgotten. She said, “Maui is going to be the nucleus of something big.” When I returned home after being in Maui for 2 weeks, I knew that something big had shifted inside of me. All I knew is that I didn’t want to do business the way I was doing it with all the marketing and networking and pushing. It was scary because I didn’t know what was going on and what God was preparing for me. After all, I needed to make money to support myself.
I “showed up” daily to pray and meditate and ask God for guidance and clarity about what my next step was. I had the opportunity to go back to Maui for a month in September 2011 and it was then that I heard God calling me back to Maui for 6 months. This really surprised me because I had never done anything like this and had to work through the “not deserving” voice to follow my heart and God’s calling. We have to be patient with the process of life and be willing to let go of control. Just like many of you, I use to want what I wanted when I wanted it and I kicked and screamed when I didn’t get my own way.
Today, I am learning a better way and that is to go with the flow, live in the present moment, trust that I have everything I need and that all is well. I have learned to trust my inner wisdom and trust God’s guidance in all things. I expect miracles and more good to come into my life. I am passionate about my life, especially when I use my life to inspire others to live their dream. I received this in prayer today.
Goddess Guidance Cards – Doreen Virtue
Aine – Leap of Faith
Take a risk, and put your heart’s true desire into action. Procrastination about your dreams won’t make them go away. Neither will they make them happen. Indecision is the death of the soul’s burning passion to improve, grow and learn. Don’t worry about making a wrong decision. Instead, worry about making no decision at all. Then take time to pray, meditate, investigate, research and make your decision. Once made the universal energies will immediately open as if my magic. The magic, you see, is that you have set your mind to accomplish something. Trust that your intention is clear and right for you. And then take a leaf of faith and jump fully into putting your dreams into action.
RELAX – God is in control
As I was pulling out of the restaurant parking lot last Sunday, I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw a sign on the back bumper of the car parked next to me. It read, Relax – God is in control. I beeped for my friend Glenn to get out of his car so he could also see the sign. I said, Holy S…… He said, “Are you kidding me? It is the exact words we just talked about as we walked out of the restaurant.” He was speechless other than a softly uttered “thank you” because we knew this was GOD speaking to us both. He took a picture of the car and put it as a screen saver on his phone to help him remember the message! He said, “This is a message I can’t afford to ignore, a message clearly given out of Love and felt in my Soul.” We left the restaurant in awe of the power of God and the love we both felt. It truly was a “Divine Connection.”
I almost missed this “Divine Connection” of God speaking to us through the bumper sticker because I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity. Let me explain. I met Glenn at the church we both attended, and after the service he asked me, “Would you like to go to lunch?” I hesitated at first because I didn’t want to spend the money. I had been out to lunch with friends several times that week and I didn’t feel comfortable spending any more money. I said, “Thank you for the invitation, but I will have to pass for today.”
After he left the church, I quickly realized I was coming from lack and scarcity because I did have the money. I ran out after him and called his name. “Glenn, I changed my mind and I would be happy to go to lunch with you.” I was honest and said, “I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity and I no longer choose to live in a state of lack.” He told me a few days later what he heard after he left the church to go to his car.. “Glenn, walk slow, she might change her mind” and then “listen, in case she calls your name” right before I called his name. I am so grateful that we were both listening to our “inner voice” and God (which I believe are the same.)
While driving to the restaurant, I heard God say, “I want you to pay for his lunch too.” When I hear God, I listen. When the bill came, I grabbed for it and told him, “I am buying.” He looked uncomfortable and said, “This is killing me.” I asked why and he said, “I have to learn to receive and not always be giving.” He was learning to receive and I was practicing not to live in lack and scarcity.
We sat in the restaurant for two hours and the conversation about life and spirituality just flowed. We talked about the importance of not “reacting” and making decisions out of fear and lack . His parting words to me were, “I think I need to put the brakes on in my life.” I then told him about my sign RELAX that I purchased several years ago when I was rushing and trying to make things happen and it wasn’t working. I desperately needed to learn to RELAX. He described himself as an ACTION person and that he had tried everything in his life to be happy. He admitted that he was hitting walls and didn’t know what to do next. I shared how I have learned to trust and accept that I am right where I need to be and that “Not Knowing what was next” was okay.
Glenn sent me an email after our “Divine Connection” and said, “Pat, before I attended church that morning, I asked myself, What are you going to do about your life? A numb feeling of distress filled me as I held back the true fear that was rushing through me. I was struggling and in need of help, help to learn how to care for myself as I did for others. I was trapped in my own mind-set surrounded by my personal weaknesses and feeling overwhelmed.”
He shared with me, “As I soaked in every word you said at lunch, I finally felt the connection to my Creator push forward from where I had buried it. My hope began to come back, my sense of calm re-appeared and the confidence in my spiritual path and a better tomorrow over-took me. Thank You God for the message I needed. Thank you Pat for pointing it out. Thank you for the lunch that led me back to the path that I cherish and has brought me so much peace and happiness since its inception that I have to pinch myself to know it’s not a wonderful dream.”
I am grateful that I listened to my intuition and acted “quickly” and that I was able to be honest with Glenn. I am grateful that Glenn was open and asked for what he needed. I am grateful to God for His love, for speaking to us both so powerfully and allowing me to serve him that day.
I thought about the bumper sticker all week and how it applied to my life. My house was on the market for one week and I was feeling some impatience (can you imagine that) that no one had looked at my house yet. When I went to bed that night, I prayed for a dream and asked God if I should lower the price of my house. All I remembered about the dream in the morning was that I was rushing. It felt like God was reassuring me not to rush that everything was under control.
As I took my walk the next day, God impressed on my heart exactly what I needed to do: rather than worrying, being fearful, living in the “what ifs” and the HOW and WHEN my house will sell, I needed to up the ante with my affirmation of gratitude “Thank you God for the right and perfect person to buy my house for the right price and right timing.” So it became my mantra whenever I thought about the house and it brought me peace and serenity.
On another note, I opened my email a few days ago and there was an email from my son Tim. He commented on my last blog and said, “When I looked at the picture that read KEEP ON PATH, what I saw was KEEP ON PAT H – KEEP ON! I loved it. So I will leave you with KEEP ON, KEEP ON!
“How do I know it’s God’s Will?”
I have always heard that “less was better.” That never worked for me until NOW, especially in regards to my house that I put on the market today. YIKES & YEA, I did it. Up until this point, I always thought I needed more and had to do more and that more was better! I am sure that comes from the old belief that I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t have enough and I wasn’t smart enough. Maybe they could be called the not-enoughisms.
Last week, a few of my close girlfriends came by to help me patch holes in the walls, paint, clean windows and wash walls before I put the house up for sale. I asked for their opinions and they were honest and told me the truth. “Pat, this picture needs to be taken down, you need to remove that from the top of the bureau and removing that chair would open up the room.” I was open to their suggestions and followed them all. A few times, I had to literally stand still and say out loud, ” I let go, I let go.” I know and trust as I let go of the old, I know I am opening myself to the new that God has planned for me (and that excites me!) My house is now open and airy without the clutter and “less is better.”
When I met with my real estate agent, Joe, I told him my intention was to sell my house quickly because I wanted to return to Maui on September 5th. He looked surprised and a little dubious. I smiled and said, “Joe, I have to tell you something about me, and who you are dealing with. I am a woman of faith!” Then I gave him my book as a gift and asked him to read Chapter 6 “The Sky God Speaks – Do We Have to Sell Our house, God?” He smiled and said, “I will read the chapter and am looking forward to reading your book.” The next time I saw him he told he that he had read that chapter and now his mother was reading the book because she saw it on his coffee table. I know that he will experience the power of faith first hand when my house sells quickly.
Over the years, many people have asked me, “How do you know for sure when it’s God’s will for you to do something and not just your own will?” The only way to know that is to first develop a relationship with your Source, God, Spirit, Buddha or whatever name you choose to call your Higher Power. For me, that includes a daily spiritual practice of prayer and meditation, which is crucial to being able to know God’s will for me. It is through these practices that I remember the truth of who I am; that I am ONE with the power and presence of God, and that we are all ONE.
Prayer and meditation are like “Magic Erasers.” They erase “old beliefs and behaviors” that no longer serve me and are not for my highest good. Prayer and meditation help me to let go of the past and “what was” and enables me to be in the present moment, NOW where all of my needs are supplied. When I am in this place of surrender, I feel the love and peace of God and I am open and trust the guidance I receive. I affirm and know that when I am one with God, I am love, I am peace and I am abundance. Then I can radiate love and peace to all I meet and see the divine in all people.
Another way that I know I am in God’s will is through the deep peace I feel in my heart. Since I’ve come back to Rhode Island, I have experienced a peace that passes all understanding. My heart is smiling on the inside and I sometimes feel like I am floating because I feel so blessed and grateful. I am sure this is a result of my 6 months in Maui where I listened to Spirit to BE and not to DO. I learned to go with the flow and follow my heart and intuition. This Sunday, a woman at the spiritual center I attend looked me in the eyes and said, “You look beautiful.” I smiled and immediately said, “Thank you, I feel beautiful.” Now that is the power of God in action because I didn’t always feel beautiful and didn’t always receive compliments gracefully.
Yet another way I know I am in God’s will is through the “signs” and the people God brings into my life to help me along the path. I saw a sign in Maui right before I left that said, “Keep on Path.” I have shared in other emails that God “shows up” through the symbols of the ladybug, turtle and the cardinal. When I went to bed last night, I noticed something small on the inside of the shade next to my bed. I couldn’t believe that a baby ladybug with all its black spots graced me with its presence. As I was driving my car, I spotted an Hawaiian turtle decal with flowers on the back of a car window. When I walked into Shaw’s market the other day, there were Hawaiian flowers in the entrance and when I visited my daughter this weekend, she had an apron on with a red cardinal on it and the cardinals have been singing to me all morning.
Truly, everything is flowing with peace, ease and grace because that is what I expect and that is what I affirm on a daily basis. Remember, we get what we expect. I know that it’s all good and it’s all God. When I open my eyes and heart, God “shows up” in the most unexpected places.
Creative Ideas – Ernest Homes
I Have Great Expectations – With God all things are possible Matt. 19:26
We have every right to expect the unexpected. We should daily affirm that new ideas are coming to us, new ways of doing things, that we are meeting new and wonderful friends, new situations; that joyous things are going to happen to us. I now establish in my thinking an attitude of expectancy of good things. I let go of the limitations of the past and live with an enthusiastic expectancy of the good that I will encounter today. I know that nothing is too good to be true and that nothing is too much for the power that can do anything. I believe in a greater good that I have yet experienced. I keep my mind open to divine intuition which is the wisdom that guides me.
My Faith is Renewed
I love sharing with you the miracles and magic that I’ve experienced since stepping out in faith and moving to Maui 4 1/2 months ago. Living in paradise is truly a gift from God and I am so grateful, but I am very aware that along with that gift comes a “spiritual responsibility” to let go of anything that is no longer useful and serving my highest good. I truly believe I am letting go of old behaviors and beliefs and a transformation is taken place deep within my spirit. I am becoming the woman God created me to be – free, radiant, loving, strong, abundant, happy, joyful and in love with life.
lessons are happening quickly and I need to pay attention and listen to the messages I am receiving each day, whether it be through a song, a sign on a car, or from another person. One of the lessons I learned this week (again) was about changing my thinking. As Mother’s Day was approaching, I was anticipating feeling sad and lonely because I wouldn’t be spending the day with my family and I was also concerned about how they would feel, not having dinner and being able to celebrate together. Even though I had made the choice to follow my heart and move across the Pacific Ocean, this was my first Mother’s Day alone. I was missing my kids and grandkids and feeling very vulnerable, to the point of questioning myself “was this really God’s will for me to move to Maui?”
I realized that if I was “expecting” to feel lonely and sad, that is exactly how my day would unfold. If instead I visualized myself feeling joyful, happy and loved, that is what I would experience. Remember, we get what we expect. I quickly changed my thinking to “I’m open to receiving more of God’s love, Mother Mary’s love, my children’s love and my mother’s love. I visualized my children feeling my love from a distance as I would feel their love across the ocean. I was overjoyed and tears flowed down my cheeks when the flowers arrived on Saturday with a beautiful note that read “Happy Mother’s Day – We all love you, Brian, Timmy, Mary and Jimmy. I was delighted to talk to each one of my children and 2 grandsons during the day. I had a beautiful mother’s day “as I expected.”
In the morning, I went to Unity Church and cried tears of joy as I listened to the minister talk about his mother’s unconditional love and witnessed a mother and daughter singing a love song to one another. It was so touching as I thought about my own daughter Mary and how amazing she is. In the afternoon, I went to the ocean, listened to the waves crashing over the rocks, felt the sun and warm breeze on my face and floated down the ocean on my pink tube. I chatted with a woman in the ocean who told me she lived in Maui in the 70’s when she was young and carefree. I chuckled to myself and thought, “I’m old and carefree and living in Maui.” I asked God to see a turtle and lo and behold I not only saw one turtle but a mother and baby graced me with their presence. The mother turtle even posed for me on the rock (picture below). I was alone on Mother’s Day, but I didn’t feel alone. I felt peaceful and loved and one with God.
Even though my mother died over 40 years ago, I always miss her on Mother’s Day and long to feel her presence. Over the years, she has often communicated with me particularly when I hear the song “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro playing on the radio because her name was “Honey.” As I drove to the dance on Saturday night, I prayed to either hear that song or see a sign or something with honey on it. I have a CD that I love and listen to every time that I get in the car, but I have never paid any attention to the words. When I began to play it and heard the words “Honey I love you and I don’t want your money” of course, I burst out laughing. “Honey” never ceases to amaze me how she shows up when I need her. I felt my mother’s love and knew she was with me.
It is so important to listen to the messages we receive and recently I had another powerful one that I want to share with you. I love it when my adult children share their wisdom with me and I am able to listen (I don’t always do that.) I have been sharing with you how I was feeling some anxiety about selling my house, moving to Hawaii full time, and working out the timing of it all. I sent an email to my son Tim and asked for his guidance on a decision I had to make. He immediately responded with his thoughts about what I needed to do. He could tell that my faith was wavering! At the end of the email he wrote, “Mom, you need to re-read your book!” Hmmm….I was a little taken back and thought that was interesting.
I hadn’t read my book from cover to cover in years. I decided I needed to listen to his wisdom and gave myself the gift of re-reading my book and it was exactly what I needed. I had forgotten how my house sold in 3 days 15 years ago, how God opened doors for buying a house that seemed impossible 30 years ago. I had forgotten how God provided when I asked for money for Bermuda and trusted it would come. It was all there, everything I needed for my faith to be renewed and strengthened. Story after story was a testament of God’s love, answered prayer and how I was provided for every step of the way.
So if you need your faith strengthened and you want to remember how God loves and provides for you, I suggest you purchase my book or if you have the book, re-read it and let the words of God’s love permeate your being, as they did mine.
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