I took a wrong turn and found myself veering off of God’s Divine Highway. I was sailing along, enjoying every minute of the journey, being in the present moment and then I LOST my peace. I was lost in some of the old beliefs and feelings. I don’t know why I took the wrong turn when everything was going so well. I was at church, of all places, when I found myself comparing myself to the guest speaker. I didn’t spot it immediately as I sometimes do, but this low energy kind of lingered throughout the day until I sat down to pray, meditate and journal. I wrote and wrote until I recognized the core belief of not feeling good enough. Comparing is deadly and I know that so I was surprised this was coming up. Whenever I compare myself with another, I either feel better than or less than.
Before I moved to Maui I was warned that all of your “stuff” would come up. I felt a little smug and thought I had worked for so many years on my stuff already, I was safe. Silly me, I should have known better because whenever we are being called to a higher level of consciousness or some big change is occurring in our lives, our stuff comes up. If I am honest, even though I don’t like it at first, I welcome my “stuff” coming up because I want to be the best me I can be, so I can serve and be a vessel for God in the purest way. I was sharing this with my son about “stuff” coming up and he reminded me that this is 2012 and this is happening to many people now. I am grateful that I am here in Maui where there is so much love and healing.
I know that change is good, but it can be scary. I was feeling some old insecurity reemerge as I started over again in Maui; and began meeting new people, living in a new place and leaving my home, family and friends. I asked myself, “Am I willing to walk through the discomfort of the unknown to embrace my greatness and follow God? Am I willing to stay in the place of mystery of “not knowing what’s next” without trying to control and make things happen? When I sat down to pray, I heard God say, “I want you to trust me more.” Like many of you “I want what I want when I want it.” Sound familiar? God also said, “Ease into your new life, rather than rushing into it.”
I read this in prayer this morning: “Do not fear what appears to be a change or a loss in your life. Embrace it as evidence that you are alive. Embrace your deepest emotions as a signal of your true human essence. What appears to be a loss is the beginning of a happy new phase. Change is scary and often contrary to what we want. It is always a call to be aware and to awaken to a conscious state of being. Today I boldly step forward and embrace change as my ally.”
Are you experiencing a change or loss in your life and is it bringing up your stuff? Do you lose your peace when you try to manipulate situations and control other people, when you compare yourself to others, judge or blame someone for your unhappiness, when you want your will rather than God’s will or when you are not willing to wait for God’s divine timing? Be willing to trust God that all is well and release whatever it is that is not working and get back on “God’s Divine Highway.”
I am happy to say that I am back on God’s Divine Highway, enjoying peace and dancing my way through life one day at a time. When I was in Belize Mexico, last month, I bought a CD with great dancing music on it. I play the CD when I take my daily walk and feel like I am in my own little world. I dance to the beat, clap my hands and shake my hips as I walk. Can you picture it? Today, a man stopped me, smiled and started to clap his hands with me and I have even had a few men wave to me as they go by in their cars. Now that brings a smile to my face and joy bubbles up in my heart. Aloha
“Today I release. Quietly and confidently, I yield to divine direction. In letting go of old thoughts and behaviors, I feel a deep sense of peace. As I rest in the awareness that God is with and within me, my inner compass is directed in the way I should go. I am filled with deep assurance and contentment, for I know that I am being directed by Spirit. Today I let go and let God’s life and love flow through every cell of my body. Today I let go and let God direct my thinking, my speech and my activities. Today I place my trust in God, and all is well.”
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- I am perfectly imperfect & loved
- Byron Katie and loving what is
- What is the voice in your head saying?
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