God was so patient “waiting” for me to say YES to His plan. It took me seven years to write my book, Simply a Woman of Faith. It took me that long because it wasn’t God’s timing and I wasn’t ready “until I was ready.” There was a lot of inner work and healing needed before I had the courage to make a commitment to myself and God that no matter what, or how afraid I felt, I would do it.
There were all kinds of signs and synchronicities once I said YES to writing the book. I found money in my bank account that I didn’t know was there. I received an award at work that I didn’t expect to receive. I had all the money I needed to hire a coach and editor. I had no idea of what I was doing, but I kept trusting and putting one step in front of the other.
My book was published twelve years ago. I wouldn’t be living my dream, living on Maui in a home overlooking the ocean and married to my soul mate if I hadn’t said YES to God’s plan. The last chapter of my book I share about my desire to meet my soul mate. I had no idea that I would move to Maui and meet Larry there.
Many people have said to me over the years, “You really need to write another book and share your Love story.” Larry and I started writing together three years ago and for whatever reason, we put it down. It reminded me of when I put down writing Simply a Woman of Faith for one year and said to God, “I’m not doing it, you have chosen the wrong person.” I’m so grateful God had other plans for me!
About a month ago. I felt a “nudge” from Spirit to finish writing our book again. I asked God for a sign and said, “If this is your will, put it on Larry’s heart to finish the book.” I waited patiently for Larry to say he was getting a nudge about our book. I felt relieved when he said nothing and figured it wasn’t God’s will.
I received an email this week from a woman who has been reading my blogs for years. She simply wrote, “I feel a compilation of your “blogs” are your second book. I’ll purchase your first copy. You are indeed the Queen of Encounters, the Magical Mystery Woman, and the Brave Heart of Love.”
I felt something stirring inside of me again. I allowed it to marinate as I prayed and asked God for direction and discernment. I only wanted God’s will and I was willing and ready to follow the plan. I prayed and meditated and asked for a dream. That night, I had a dream that was very significant and knew in my heart that it was time to finish the book.
I hadn’t shared any of this with Larry because I didn’t want him to feel pressured. I felt completely detached from the outcome and knew I would finish the book whether he said “yes” or “no.”
The morning after my dream, I looked into the mirror and said to myself, “You are beautiful.” I then looked at a card that has been on my wall for about 3 or 4 years. It read, YOU ARE BRILLIANT AND BEAUTIFUL. I was stunned because I had never seen the BRILLIANT part of it.
I have a family member who I think is BRILLIANT and have been telling them that for years. I never saw it in myself until I was walking on the beach this week. I heard Spirit say, “YOU ARE BRILLIANT.” I got it for the first time in my life. I am BRILLIANT because I freed myself from growing up with 2 alcoholic parents and multiple sexual abusers. I felt empowered and free.
I have not only talked the talk, but I have walked it and was willing to do whatever I needed to set myself free. During this time of cocooning, I have done deep inner work clearing away what no longer served me and have forgiven others and myself.
Larry and I spend “sacred time” together on Sunday mornings and I decided to tell him about the “nudge” I was getting from Spirit about finishing the book. I said, “I’m not attached to you writing, I would love you to be a part of it, but I will do it either way.”
He agreed to pray about it to see if it was God’s will. He then shared, “I started to think about finishing our book about a month ago, but I didn’t say anything to you.” Interesting because that is when I asked Spirit to put it on Larry’s heart. Perhaps, I didn’t ask Spirit for him to tell me about it! When Spirit wants you to do something, He is relentless and doesn’t give up until you get it!
God’s timing is perfect always. We get exactly what we need when we need it if we trust and believe. It is God’s will for Larry and I to finish our book. It is time and we are both excited and READY. IT IS TIME.
What has God been nudging you to do? God will give you everything you need when you say YES to His plan.
Have you ever dreamed about writing a book? Have others said to you, “You should write a book?” Many people said that to me and my response was always, “Maybe someday- when I retire.” My dream of writing a book almost died inside of me. I’m so grateful God didn’t give up on me as my book was published in 2007 and people are still reading it and I’m still reaping the fruits of it.
What keeps you from writing your book? For me it was FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real). It took me 7 years to write, “Simply A Woman of Faith” because I was filled with fear and didn’t believe in myself.
Every time I went on a retreat, I would hear the small, still voice of God say, “I want you to finish the book.” I would write for a while and then stop because I thought I was wasting my time and no one would read it. At one point, I stopped writing for a whole year and said to God, “I’m not doing it, you have chosen the wrong person” I was done, but God wasn’t done with me!
There were so many miracles of how God provided for me while writing the book. My son, Tim, said to me, “Mom, you have to change your yard sale mentality when it comes to looking for a coach and editor. Several people within a short time recommended Lisa Tener. I called her and felt an immediate heart connection with her.
The money “showed up” as Spirit promised to hire Lisa. I mysteriously found $2300 in my bank account and I had no idea how it got there. I received an award of $500 at work in my pay check, that I was not suppose to receive.
I created an “Intention Book” with all of my intentions and dreams and prayed with it daily.
- To complete and publish my book by 2007 DONE
- Be an Inspirational speaker and win a speech contest DONE
- To meet my soulmate and get married DONE
I am amazed as to where I am today because I said YES to God and kept “showing up.” With the grace of God, I have had many wonderful, fulfilling experiences and still do because I faced my fear and was transformed into the woman I am today.
Here are some highlights of the last 13 years of writing and publishing my book.
- I led a women’s retreat in Bermuda for, with all expenses paid.
- I led a personal retreat for 6 women on a cruise ship to Bermuda.
- I was selected to be a speaker on the Holistic Norwegian cruise line in 2012.
- I had a radio show called “Finding the God of your own understanding.”
- I led workshops and retreats for women.
- I moved to Maui and lived on the ocean for $300 a month for 6 months.
- I currently live in a million- dollar home overlooking the ocean.
- I was on staff as a spiritual coach in the Sacred Feminine Mystery School.
- I met my soulmate, Larry, and we were married almost 3 years ago.
These are the affirmations that I wrote 10 years ago about meeting my soulmate.
- I love spending time with my soulmate and enjoying our delicious, passionate, playful and romantic relationship
- I am enjoying the sacred, holy space that my soulmate and I have created in our home together.
- I am totally fulfilled and excited about my divine relationship with my soulmate, who is spiritual, healthy, and in love with the adventure of life and out journey together.
- I am overflowing with joy and happiness that my soulmate and I have found each other, are happily married and adore and love one another.
I continue to “show up” and say YES. I don’t know what’s next and that’s fine with me. I live in the moment and trust divine timing and order.
I had just finished my walk and swim at the Fairmont Hotel when I decided to stand at the edge of the ocean and look out over the horizon. It was low tide and the ocean was calm with small waves. As I stood there looking out I noticed a young adult male who appeared to be physically/mentally challenged with goggles on walking into the ocean. As he walked deeper into the ocean, an older man, perhaps his brother reached out to him to grab his hand. At first the young adult refused help from his brother. It was like he wanted to do it by himself. Then, the brother became more insistent and they held hands and walked more deeply into the ocean together.
As the first wave began to break, the young adult looked fearful and started to turn back. With that, the brother grabbed him with both arms and they held each other tightly in a bear hug. I was so touched it brought tears to my eyes. When the wave passed, they gave each other a high five sign. I am sure that the young man felt excited that he didn’t turn back, but faced his fears. It looked like he did what he wanted to do and had enough. He walked out of the ocean by himself kind of jumping and kicking the water. I noticed his brother watched until he was safe on land and found his chair.
We are always being called into the ocean of Love, to go deeper with God. But we get afraid and think we have to do it by ourselves and then when the waves get big or the shit hits the fan, we turn around and go back to where we came from. We forget that it is God inviting us into the ocean and is within us and holding us. I am reminded that we are always being invited to something bigger and better in our lives. Love is always giving, that is all Love can do.
Where have you turned back in your life because of fear? For 1 year I put my “book to bed” which was almost completed because of fear. My denial was so strong that I really didn’t know it was fear until I was ready to face it and do something about it. I also dropped out of college in my junior year for one year due to fear because I didn’t think I could write a 20 page paper. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree, then went on for a Master’s degree and had to write a paper every month for 17 months. It is hard to describe the feeling of exhilaration when I walked across the stage for my diploma, truly a highlight in my life that I will never forget.
I am not beating up on myself because I believe everything is in perfect and right order. I shudder to think where my life would be if I hadn’t faced my fears and had my book published. My book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” has opened many doors for me, including living in Maui on the ocean and finding my soul mate. As I am writing this, the radio is playing “My faith with lead me on.” I encourage you to let your faith lead you on.
Where is God calling you to come deeper into the ocean? Only you know the desires of your heart and what keeps you stuck and going back. Over the years, I have counseled many women who were in unhealthy/abusive marriages (including myself) and they felt trapped and fearful. What a joy to see them takes steps to free themselves and now have healthy loving relationships. It takes courage and strength to leave something or someone that is familiar or comfortable, but just not working anymore for you. It may not be a marriage, but a job that is killing you and you hate it. Your gifts are not being used and you know there is something more for you to do. God may be calling you to take a risk and do something different. It may be something you have always wanted to do, but felt afraid and didn’t think you could do it. Remember, with God, all things are possible.
Like the young adult, we often don’t want to accept help and think we can do it by ourselves. Is that our pride and ego? Do we not want to appear weak in the eyes of others so we act like we know what we are doing? It’s important to know when we need help and when we need to do things by ourselves so we know we can do it and that we are strong.
Rather than it being a weakness, I truly think it is a sign of strength when we know we need help and can ask for it. The young adult in the ocean finally accepted his brothers help by holding his hand and they were able to ride the wave together. There is always help available for us. God is always with us, ready to guide us and to keep us safe.
I have learned that it is important for me to spend time alone to go within and to meditate so I know what I need to do next in my life and to hear the small, still voice of God within. It is impossible to hear God’s voice if we are busy running around in circles or taking care of everybody, but ourselves. All our answers are within, but it sometimes takes another person we trust to help us sort things out to know what is true and what are false beliefs about ourselves and life.
Fear is an illusion. It is also called False Evidence Appearing Real. Feel the fear and do it anyway. This is your life to lead and we are not promised tomorrow. All we have is today. Say YES to God, to the Universe, to yourself and watch the magic begin.
I would love to hear from you and how you have worked through some of your fears and are on the other side and living the life of your dreams. If you would like prayers because you are stuck in fear and want to move forward in your life, I would be happy to do that for you.
After living in Maui since January, I can hardly believe that I will be returning to Rhode Island in 2 weeks (and selling everything so I can move back here to live full time.) I am so excited to see my family and friends that I am counting the days until I get back there. It has been an amazing journey of transformation, love, surrendering, letting go and healing. I have learned so much about myself, my beliefs and what needed to change inside of me in order to be the woman God created me to be and for me to receive more good in my life.
As I walked home from my walk today, the two words that popped out for me were “No push, no rush.” Hmm…..that’s interesting, I thought. That was my way of being. I was always pushing myself to do and be more and rushing through life like I would miss something if I didn’t rush. In fact, I called myself a “Rushaholic” and it exhausted me. I realize now that these behaviors came from the belief that “I am not good enough and not worthy and deserving of good things.” Over the years, I have worked hard at changing these beliefs that no longer serve me through prayer, meditation, journaling, visualizations and affirmations. Every once in awhile, I catch myself rushing or racing, but much much less than it has ever been. Today, I truly enjoy going with the flow and following my intuition.
God’s timing is perfect and I have been reflecting on how perfectly everything has been orchestrated on my behalf with my housing both here in Maui and in Rhode Island. I am leaving this beautiful condo on the ocean that I am renting with Pat and Bob on June 26 to return to Rhode Island. Pat and Bob will be moving into the new condo they bought on June 30 and then my tenant, Carrie Ann in Rhode Island, is moving out of my condo and settling in her new condo on June 29! I could not have planned that any better. It is truly amazing what happens, when I let go and let God handle how things work out. I can’t wait to see what will happen when I return to Rhode Island to sell my house. I am already thanking God for the right and perfect person to buy my house and for the right and perfect price.
I plan to buy my return ticket back to Maui for September 5, 2012. My friend, Ellen, is going away for the month of September and has invited me to stay in her condo while I look for a place to rent. I am very excited to see how it will unfold and the beautiful place that is already mine in the mind of God. When I think about leaving this condo on the ocean, each morning when I look out, I say “This is something better, God.”
I would like to share another way I heard God speak to me this week. I encountered the woman who was staying in the condo right next to mine, and she turned and smiled as she walked back into her condo and said, “We just got here 4 hours ago. I can see you have been here awhile, YOU GOT IT GOING ON! ” I smiled and thought, wow, I do got it going on girl, but I didn’t know it was so obvious. I walked around all day with giddy excitement, saying to myself, “YES, I GOT IT GOING ON!” And guess what, YOU have it going on too! Just saying this out loud has really shifted my energy and I am now saying it to others and love to see their face light up and smile.
Can you picture that? Try saying it aloud and see how it feels. Other than feeling sassy and confident, I decided to answer the question “what does this mean to me?” It means that God, my essence and my God-self is shining out and radiating love to the world as I remember who I am and that I am ONE with God. My prayer was “Thank you God, I feel so blessed, loved and excited about the adventure of the future and all that you have planned for me. I say YES to your divine plan.”
Another thing I have learned about the Divine Plan is that it requires having faith that the right doors will open for me when necessary, and the right doors will close for me as well. This week I had an example of God closing the door in my face, and how it all worked out for the best. Ellen approached me with the news that her 94-year-old friend, Ester, was selling one of her cars. Her daughter had bought her a new car and had given Ester her 1999 Ford Escort. Ester was selling it for a great price and even though it was an old “Maui Cruiser,” it seemed to be in decent condition. I called the insurance company and the DMV and got all the information I needed. Believe me, this was not my plan to buy a car before I moved back here, but it seemed like the right thing to do since it came to me and I felt peaceful. My prayer was, “God, close the door if this is not your divine plan.” I was excited to think I would have a car all set when I moved back to Maui and it seemed like a confirmation that “I really am moving back here.” To my surprise, a few days later, Ester called and said, “I am really sorry but my daughter decided not to sell her car, after all.” I got off the phone a little stunned and disappointed, but very quickly said, “Thank you God for closing the door.”
Then my next thought was that “I will get a car for free.” I really liked that idea and it will be interesting to see how that manifests. I asked myself, “Did I only feel deserving of an old Maui Cruiser?” Perhaps God wants more for me and now I see myself driving a shiny convertible red car!
As I sat on the beach looking into the ocean and feeling very peaceful, I overheard a few words in a conversation behind me. All I heard was “RELAX, it will come to you.” I believe those words were meant for me. I have used this affirmation for years and it seems to apply here, “Everything I need is streaming toward me, I open my hands and receive.” I believe my soul mate will come to me, the car will come to me, the right place to live when I move back to Maui will come to me, and the right person to buy my house in Rhode Island will come to me. My job is to “show up” do my part and leave the HOW up to God. It works every time.
Daily Word Magazine
I am part of and immersed in the order of life. My breathing is orderly and rhythmic, as is my heartbeat; neither requires my control or direction. I relax into the flow of divine order and allow God to express in and through me, guiding my unfolding. As each new day begins, divine order manifests in all I think and do. Divine order is established in my life, and I am grateful.
Like the eagle, I am meant to soar. I am meant to let go of fear and limitations, to apply the strength and abilities God has given me. I place my faith in God and my spirit soars.
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
621 Laniolu Place Kihei, HI 96753