I asked for signs from my brother
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Do you believe your loved ones who have transitioned want to communicate with you and send you signs that they are happy and free? I’ve shared that my only brother transitioned a few days before Thanksgiving this year. I have been asking for signs to feel his presence.
Larry and I went out for lunch on Christmas Eve to our favorite restaurant. I was shocked when I noticed a white feather tucked in the compartment of the car door. I didn’t put it there and didn’t know how it got there. I looked at Larry and said, “I think this is a sign from my brother.”
I checked google for the spiritual significance of finding feathers. It said, “The most common meaning is that a loved one is watching over you, especially if they died recently. It is to bring you comfort. It is believed that the feathers drop from the wings of angels.”
Here is what happened when my dad died 25 years ago:
My dad was dying of cancer. I lived out of state and hadn’t seen him for several months. My stepmom warned me that he had lost 30 pounds in a month and was frail. I didn’t want to stare when I saw him for the first time. I remember my dad as strong and active, playing golf every day before he got sick.
“God, is this going to be the last time I see him before he dies?” I wondered. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and that I was going to miss him. When we were alone, I got up the nerve and asked him “Are you afraid to die?” He answered, “I don’t want to talk about it.” He wasn’t ready to admit he was dying, but I knew he didn’t have much time left.
He could no longer stay at home as his illness progressed. While in the hospital, the doctors tried to keep him alive with more operations and procedures. My stepmom couldn’t accept he was dying. While the doctors discussed yet another procedure at his bedside, he looked up at my stepmom, and the doctors and screamed. “Leave me alone, I want to go home.” A few hours later he passed away peacefully with her at his side.
When the phone rang that morning, I knew it was the call that I had been dreading. I walked around my house in a daze, not wanting to believe he was dead. God, I’m alone now, with both mom and dad dead.
I took a walk and looked up at the sky and said, “God, please allow me to feel my dad ‘s presence.”
I dragged myself to the consignment shop to look for a dress to wear for the funeral. I couldn’t concentrate and half-heartedly looked through the rack of clothes, trying to find a dress. “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro began to play on the radio. My mother died when I was 21 years old and her name was Honey. A few months after her death, the song “Honey” was released.
I stood frozen in place for a few minutes, then put my hands in my face and sobbed. The owner of the shop walked over to me and asked, “Are you ok?” I blurted out through sobs and tears that my father had just died. I explained to her the significance of the song Honey that had just played on the radio. She reached out and touched my shoulder, as I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.
Five minutes later, the song, “Daddy’s Little Girl” came on the radio. My dad often sang that song to me, and it always brought tears to my eyes. Everyone cried when he held me in his arms on my wedding day and we danced to “Daddy’s Little Girl.” God answered my prayer to feel my dad‘s presence hearing the songs only a few hours after he passed away.
I found a dress or shall I say the dress found me. As I paid and prepared to leave the shop, “You Are My Special Angel” began to play on the radio. My grandmother called me an angel. Within a half hour, I heard 3 songs that touched my heart from my mother, father, and grandmother.
When we believe and are open to receiving messages from the other side from our loved ones who have transitioned, they will send us signs to reassure us that they are happy and free.
I took things personally
When I got divorced 25 years ago after being married for 30 years, I admit I was very “needy.” Although I had done years of healing and transformation on myself, I still felt scared and overwhelmed, as I now had to make many decisions on my own.
I remember how vulnerable I felt going to the bank and opening my own checking account. The teller was so kind and compassionate and walked me through the process that I needed to take.
I was divorced for 10 months when I met a man that I fell in love with and we were engaged for 2 years. He gave me lots of attention, gifts and love that I craved. He seemed to meet my every need, even before I needed it. I was in heaven and “intoxicated” until I wasn’t anymore. After a while, I felt smothered, manipulated, and controlled. I wanted to say to him, “Get a life.”
I’m grateful for the relationship and all the lessons I learned through a very difficult time in my life. I learned to “speak up” and “stand up” for myself. I now realize that his focus on me was a cry for love. If he loved me BIG, I would love him back. I relate to that because before I learned to love myself, I looked “outside” too for love and, of course, it was never enough.
Looking back, I realize we both were codependent and looked to one another to fill the hole in the soul that only Spirit can fill.
I have been thinking about “unconditional love” and what it means rather than to love with conditions. In my earlier life, I loved conditionally as my ego was running the show. If you loved me, I loved you back. If you didn’t love me, I withdrew and held a resentment. I also:
- Took things personally.
- Felt responsible for the welfare of others, especially family members.
- Believed I was right and had all the answers.
- Was attached to the outcome and results in many situations.
- Blamed myself when someone withdrew, ignored me, didn’t take my counsel, or treated me poorly.
I have always been a “helper.” I genuinely care about people and love to help and look for opportunities to be kind and loving. I went into the healing profession to help others. There’s nothing wrong with serving and helping others.
Something came up for me this week that was very deep that Spirit invited me to process. It was easy for me to recognize when I felt “needy.” It wasn’t that easy for me to admit that I wanted to feel “needed” to feel good about myself. In the past, I attracted “needy” people to make me feel worthy to be loved and build my self- esteem.
For several days, I counseled three friends who were struggling with serious health issues. When they seemingly “withdrew” for no reason and didn’t answer or respond to my texts, I felt some anxiety and asked myself,
- Is being “needy” and wanting to “be needed” from the same coin, just the opposite side?
- Was I addicted to feeling needed?
After praying and meditating on above, Spirit assured me that I wasn’t addicted to feeling needed. It was an opportunity to release an old belief “I need to be needed and wanted to feel love and worthy and deserving of others love.” This no longer served me and never has. The peace came when Spirit made me aware of the old belief and how to release it.
It is my desire to love unconditionally and purely. I am loving unconditionally when I no longer take things personally, am not attached to the outcome or result and don’t blame myself when someone withdraws or treats me unfairly. It’s about their journey and has nothing to do with me.
My brother transitioned last week
As I took my walk the day before Thanksgiving, I reflected on my first trip to Maui on Thanksgiving 13 years ago, and my brother’s death 2 days earlier. I wondered how I could feel so much peace when my brother had just transitioned. I knew he was now at peace and not suffering anymore.
What we think is a MISTAKE is often God’s way of redirecting and guiding us. Here is what happened the last time I saw my brother 15 years ago when I visited him in New Jersey. I really enjoyed seeing his family and spending time together. He dropped me off at the airport in Philadelphia and we said our goodbyes.
When I went to the counter to check in, the agent said, “Sorry, your flight is scheduled for tomorrow and we don’t have any flights available for today. You could check Southwest as they have many outgoing flights.”
It is my belief that everything happens for a reason and for my highest good. I remember thanking God as I walked to the next terminal to see if I could get a flight out that day. I didn’t beat up on myself, which would have been so easy to do. You know like, “Why didn’t you check your ticket?”
Thankfully, I was able to get a flight on Southwest the same day. As I meandered through the airport, a young man in a small kiosk waved me over. Since I had several hours to kill and nothing to do, I walked over. He was offering a free round-trip ticket anywhere in the US if I signed up for a Southwest credit card. I signed up and off I went.
A few weeks later, after I finished giving my talk at the church, an elderly woman by the name of Ellen approached me and shared that she lived on Maui. I said, “It’s always been my dream to VISIT Maui. She said, “You can stay with me for as long as you want, and you can use my car.” It was a no-brainer when she pulled out the postcard of her condo overlooking the ocean. I had a free flight and a beautiful place to stay. It was the first time I left my children at Thanksgiving.
The rest is history. Two years later, I rented my condo in Rhode Island and moved to Maui for 6 months and lived with friends in a condo overlooking the ocean. In January it will be 11 years that I have been living on Maui. I followed my heart, stepped out in faith, and moved there knowing I would meet my soulmate. Larry and I were married 5 ½ years ago and live in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean. God is good.
I have shared in past blogs that my brother who was a Viet Nam veteran had been sober from alcohol and drugs for 30 years. About a year ago, he fell and hurt his leg and was prescribed narcotics. He was off and running and became addicted to the pills. He fell again and broke his hip and couldn’t walk. He was in and out of the hospital for months. He wanted to die and wasn’t eating. It was difficult and sad being 5000 miles away and not able to see him. All I could do was PRAY and send him love, which I believe was the best thing I could do for him.
Of course, his transition last week brought up many memories. It was a quiet week of processing my feelings and letting go. My children and close friends were very loving and supportive of me. I reached out to Facebook friends and asked for prayers. I was so touched and grateful for all the prayers and love I received, especially from those I didn’t even know. We truly are ONE and connected.
I’ve experienced my brother’s love and presence in many ways this past week. I love rainbows and have been comforted by them over the years when I really needed a touch from heaven.
My son, who lives in Boise Idaho, sent me a picture of a car’s license plate in front of him that said rainbows on it right after I called to tell him Jim had transitioned. There was a double rainbow covering the whole sky on Thanksgiving morning that was just breathtaking. I sensed it was a sign from above.
I believe our loved ones who have transitioned want to communicate with us and let us know they are safe, free, and happy. A couple of nights after Jim died, Larry and I were in the den watching TV when we heard music playing and thought it was from our neighbor’s house.
When I went into the kitchen our Amazon dot was playing music. Neither Larry nor I had been in the kitchen and turned it on. Was my brother playing tricks and trying to get my attention? I want to believe it was him. I will remain open to signs that he’s home at last. Have you received signs from your loved ones?
There are no mistakes in God’s world. Everything happens for a reason. When we trust and walk in faith, miracles happen all the time.
We thought Larry was having a stroke
It started out like a regular Monday as I got ready to leave for my water aerobics class. Of course, I had no idea what the rest of the day would look like and that we would have an opportunity to practice choosing love and peace instead of fear.
When Larry returned home from his walk with Kobi, he said, “My arm and fingers are tingling and numb.” I thought, “That doesn’t sound good.” He immediately took his blood pressure, which was normal.
He assured me that he was fine and off I went to my class. After my class, I visited my friend, Margie. As soon as I arrived at her house, I called Larry to see how he was feeling. He said, “I have had the same episode 2 more times since you left.”
I encouraged him to call his doctor to let him know what was going on. He called me back a few minutes later informing me that the doctor wanted to see him immediately. We felt grateful that we didn’t have to wait to get an appointment.
Margie lives 10 minutes away from our home. When I arrived home, Larry was already waiting at the bottom of our driveway, and off we went to the doctor. We were both silent in the car not knowing if he was having a stroke or not.
When the doctor initially checked his vitals, he said, “I can’t tell you what to do.” By the time he finished examining Larry, he said, “I think you need to go to the ER NOW and get an MRI. Don’t take the time to check out here. We could call an ambulance but it would be faster to drive your car to the hospital. When you get to the ER tell them you are having a stroke.”
Yikes. This was serious. Of course, we were both scared and didn’t say a word to one another on the drive to the hospital. I kept taking deep breaths and focused on getting us there safely. When we arrived at the ER, I dropped him off and parked the car. He did what his doctor told him to say, “I’m having a stroke.”
A nurse brought him into her office to take his vitals and ask him some questions. Apparently, she didn’t think he was having a stroke as she sent us back into the waiting room to wait for the ER doctor to see him. She said, “If it gets worse, raise your hand and YELL.”
There were quite a few sick people already in the waiting room. Being in the ER was Larry’s worse nightmare as he is at high risk for COVID with lung problems. We have both been diligent and stayed out of crowds, escaping COVID. Here we were in the middle of it all. If we were ever going to get COVID it would be here.
We sat there for 3 hours before a doctor even checked him. He scheduled him for an MRI to see if he had a stroke or had any blockages in his brain or neck. We waited another 2 hours before they took him for the MRI. When the MRI was finished, he said to the nurse, “That was quite a challenging experience and I kept choosing love instead of fear through the whole procedure.”As he was being wheeled back to the cubicle where I was waiting for him, he said to the nurse, “Remember to keep choosing love, instead of fear.” She smiled and said, “I will do that.”
For the entire time in the waiting room, I kept repeating the mantra, “I choose love. I choose love, I choose peace.” I repeated my daily affirmation. “I am peaceful, safe, and protected from everything and everyone that doesn’t serve my highest good.” I kept visualizing a golden bubble around us.
Whenever Larry started to feel concerned or fearful, especially with people coughing, gagging, and vomiting all around us, he kept choosing love instead of fear. We were both able to send love to all the people who were sick around us.
We waited another 2 hours before we found out the results of the MRI. We were relieved and grateful when the doctor said, “No stroke or blockages.” Rather than it being a stroke or blockage in his brain, it was a neck issue that caused the numbness in his arm from the pillow he had been sleeping on for months. He changed the pillows and the numbness is gone completely.
Everything happens for a reason and we are protected and guided always. Perhaps Spirit gave us the opportunity to pray for others who were suffering and to practice choosing love and peace instead of fear in a very difficult situation. The best news is we didn’t get COVID.
I felt jealous and lost my peace
I’m sure we’ve all experienced what it’s like to have a mosquito buzzing around your head in the middle of the night when you are trying to sleep. You are just about to doze off for the 4th time and there it is again buzzing around your head. It just won’t go away and let you sleep.
That’s what it felt like this week, but instead of a mosquito buzzing around my head and annoying me, it was my egoic voice trying to rob me of my peace. It was relentless, vicious, and wouldn’t stop!
I couldn’t stand it anymore it was so annoying. At one point, as I was driving in my car with the windows up, I screamed, “STOP.” I had enough of its shenanigans and lies.
Have you ever wondered how to recognize your egoic voice from the voice of the Spirit? First of all, you lose your PEACE as your mind feels like a blender going around and around with negativity, fear, shame, blame, and judgment.
I read something this week that resonated with me. It was, “There is no greater wealth in this world than peace of mind.” I pray every day for peace and have been for many years. I experience peace 90% of the time deep within my soul because I know I’m not alone, and am guided, and protected in everything I do.
My egoic voice whispers “You are not good enough. You are not doing enough. You don’t belong. You don’t have enough. You are not loved. You are separate from one another and “better than or less than others.” It comes from a deep place of fear which compares, judges, shames, and competes.
For many years, I compared myself to others, especially other women, and felt jealous A LOT. No matter what I did or how many degrees I obtained, it never felt like it was enough. I hated it whenever jealousy would rear its head. After much needless suffering, I learned to say, “OK jealousy, come on in and have a cup of tea.” This can be done with any feeling I’m feeling. Somehow, this acceptance of “what is” helps to comfort me and sets me free.
I rarely feel jealous anymore until this week when all hell broke loose in my mind. It made NO SENSE that I was struggling and feeling jealous after a conversation I had with a friend. I love my life and live in gratitude to God for what we have co-created. Like a broken record, I kept playing the conversation we had over and over in my mind and then judged myself for rambling on. Then came the SHAME for feeling jealous. It felt like I was in a vicious cycle and I knew I needed help. I prayed, “I need help Spirit.”
Message from Spirit:
Relax in my presence and come into the present moment and my truth. Your ego is vicious and wants to rob you of the life we have co-created here. RISE ABOVE THE DRAMA. Keep choosing love and peace. I want you to “accept what is.” Relationships are constantly changing and evolving and that is a good thing. Let there be no judgment or taking things personally. Forgive yourself for comparing, and judging. shaming and feeling jealous. I am inviting you to love yourself unconditionally and your sisters and brothers as you are all ONE.
Here is my process and how I moved through this egoic attack to bring myself back into peace:
· I become AWARE when my egoic voice is clamoring for attention
· I go within and ask Spirit for help
· I said “STOP” to the egoic voice
· I forgive myself and others when necessary
· I choose love. peace and happiness
As I sat to meditate on my swing overlooking the ocean the next morning, I felt a deep peace that passes all understanding. By intentionally choosing love and peace, I free myself to live my life to the fullest and be me. I believe it is Spirit’s intention for us to live in love, peace, joy, and happiness.
It is when I’m living in the PRESENT MOMENT and in the Christ Presence that I feel deep peace. Being at peace is attained through dissolving thoughts of all kinds and surrendering to the moment. The past is gone and the future with all its “what ifs” cannot disturb me if, I don’t allow it.
A Miracle story
Although it feels like it happened yesterday, I’m feeling led to share the miracle that happened 40 years ago. When you hear the small, still voice of God so clearly for the FIRST time, it is etched in your heart forever.
Today, I am aligned with Spirit and hear the small, still voice of God on a daily basis guiding me on my journey. I love to share my “God-blouse” story to inspire others to trust God in everything and to listen to the small, still voice of God within.
My husband had been unemployed for a year, and we had four children under the age of ten. I remember how humiliated I felt when we had to apply for welfare and food stamps.
On the day that I bought my “God-blouse,” I had some time to kill as I waited to pick up the children from school. Even though I didn’t have money to buy anything, I could still window show I told myself. I spotted the clearance sign at the back of the store and quickly walked over to the clothing rack. I had no intention of buying anything, but the blouse jumped out at me. I fell in love with it and it was only ten dollars, I thought to myself. I wanted to forget that my husband was out of work and I couldn’t afford it.
As I reluctantly placed it back on the rack, I heard the small, still voice of God say, “BUY IT AND I WILL PROVIDE.” I pulled out my wallet to see how much money I had. I had a ten-dollar bill tucked away in the billfold.
“God, did I hear you right, or was that just me wanting the blouse?” Was my imagination running wild? I thought, “If I spend the money on a blouse, where will I get the money to buy milk and bread on the way home?”
I wanted to believe it was God, but could I trust myself? Miracles happened when I listened to God in the past. My gut was saying, “Trust God and buy the blouse.” I decided to buy the blouse.
I picked up the children from school and drove directly home (not saying anything about my purchase.) I grabbed the mail from the mailbox as I walked into the house, hoping there weren’t any bills.
There was a letter with no return address on it. I quickly opened it, eager to see what was inside of it. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the crisp new ten-dollar bill tucked inside the notecard. As I read the simple but profound message written in the card, I started to tremble from head to foot.
Oh my God, I shouted as the tears streamed down my cheeks. I frantically searched for a name, but there wasn’t any. Sprawled across the handwritten note was simply,
To Pat,
From the Son of a Carpenter
Filled with awe and gratitude, I couldn’t stop laughing and crying at the same time. God provides, but I didn’t expect it so dramatically and so quickly. I still don’t know who sent the card and money-and probably never will. The person who sent it listened to the small, still voice of God and took action.
A lot has happened over the past 40 years. I wrote my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” 14 years ago, I’ve been divorced for almost 25 years, retired as an Alcohol and Drug therapist, moved to Maui by myself and remarried 5 ½ years ago. Larry and I wrote our book together, “It’s Never Too Late for Love.”
Perhaps not as dramatic as my “God- blouse” story and receiving the ten-dollar bill in the mail, I continue to hear the small, still voice of God on a daily basis. I am never alone and neither are you.
I encourage you to go within for your answers knowing and trusting you will be guided every step of the way. It does take courage and practice to trust yourself that God is speaking to you. I would not be living the life of my dreams if I hadn’t been listening and said YES to the divine plan.
Celebrating my 76th birthday
I look forward to celebrating my 76th birthday with Larry and a few friends next week. I’m celebrating the woman I have become and all the ups and downs of my journey so far. I never gave up on myself and was determined to “Find myself and BE myself.”
Transformation and doing the “inner work” haven’t always been easy, but absolutely worth the effort. I wouldn’t be who and where I am today if I wasn’t willing to let go of old beliefs of not being good enough, worthy to receive love, and separate from the Source.
For many years while I was married, I didn’t look forward to celebrating my birthday. I dreaded it because I didn’t want to feel disappointed, angry, and forgotten.
After crying and falling apart because my ex-husband forgot my birthday, I was promised it wouldn’t happen the next year. It happened, AGAIN and AGAIN, year after year. I felt powerless and like a victim. No matter how upset and hurt I was, it didn’t change his behavior. I don’t believe he intentionally wanted to hurt me. I didn’t understand it back then but today I know it was passive-aggressive behavior.
Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. There’s a disconnect between what a person says and what he or she does. It may mean a person has difficulty dealing with negative emotions because they were never shown how to do this growing up. Passive aggression involves a series of verbal, non-verbal, and evasive techniques that indicate discontent without ever saying it. It may be an indirect way to manipulate, abuse, or punish another person.
Here are some signs of passive-aggressive behavior: sarcasm, procrastination, subtle put-downs, laughed at, avoidance, silent treatment, forgetting, lateness, cynicism, and not taking responsibility for tasks they agreed to perform.
Do you have someone in your life who exhibits these behaviors? Perhaps it may even be you. My ex-husband and I both came from alcoholic homes where we learned the unspoken rules:
· Don’t talk,
· Don’t trust,
· Don’t feel.
This isn’t about blame, shame, or judgment. We loved one another and did the best we could from the dysfunctional homes we grew up in. I didn’t know how to speak up and ask for what I wanted, I wasn’t in touch with my feelings, especially anger, and I expected him to read my mind and sulked when I didn’t get my way.
We are often wounded by others and weave stories about our hurts that live on in our hearts and minds. We hold onto resentments and anger about our past. We blame our parents. We distrust the power of love and connection.
Forgiveness is the key to freedom. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for me. Forgiveness has allowed me to open my heart to give and receive love.
I have learned to forgive the past, my ex-husband, and most of all MYSELF for giving my power away by not recognizing abuse and not knowing how to give myself the love that I craved from others. I didn’t have the tools that I have today to set myself free and live in peace.
Today, I am 100% accountable for my thoughts, behaviors, feelings, beliefs, motives, and actions. I am responsible for my happiness as it is an inside job. I can be as happy as I want to be.
I’m grateful to Spirit for the courage and willingness to set myself free. I am a woman giving birth to myself and the gifts God has given me. I don’t regret my past or anything that has happened to me. I have learned many lessons through my experiences that have made me the woman I am today. I don’t know how many more years I will have to celebrate ME so I will make this birthday the best that I can.
Enthusiasm Makes the Difference
My faith and trust in God/Source are very important to me and have always been. I am a half-full glass kind of gal, rather than a half-empty glass kind of gal. I have “trained my mind” to see the positive and “expect” the best in all things. What we “expect” we get. It’s our choice to “expect” negative or positive outcomes.
I asked myself, “How and where did my spiritual journey start?” Spirit brought to mind a book that I read 55 years ago called, “Enthusiasm Makes the Difference” by Norman Vincent Peale. Have any of you ever read this book?
Years ago, after reading the book, I met a man at a bar in New York City and couldn’t stop talking about it. Although I can’t remember today what was in the book, I remember being on fire and excited to share what I was learning about enthusiasm with anyone who would listen.
For the past few weeks, I have been thinking about the book and went to the library to see if they had a copy. They didn’t have it and had to order it from a neighboring island.
The book was published in 1967. I was 20 years old when I found it, or shall I say it found me because it changed my life. I had no idea that it was the first metaphysical book that I had ever read. Here are a few metaphysical teachers and authors you may recognize: Aristotle, Newton, Plato, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Alan Cohen, and Neville Goddard. You may wonder what is metaphysics.
Metaphysics is a science. Science is to have knowledge of the unseen “secret” laws of the universe. Once you understand the laws of the universe, you will be more empowered to create the reality you want. You will learn that you can heal yourself in many ways through the power of truly becoming ONE with God. Oneness is the remembrance that you can never be separated from God. You cannot be separated from another human, nature, or anything that you can think of. Because everything is ONE and it all exists in the mind. You remember your true spiritual and eternal form and that everything is YOU.
I really enjoyed reading “Enthusiasm Makes the difference” againand learning about mental and spiritual treatment. Here are a few excerpts from the book:
· Deliberately ACT AS IF you are calm, confident, and peaceful.
· Lump & Drop – Empty your mind at the end of the day of all unpleasant experiences to prevent unhealthy thoughts from lodging in consciousness overnight.
· Start the day by telling yourself all the GOOD news you can think of. I have a healthy body, a job, a family, a bright future, abundance, and prosperity.
· Don’t depreciate life by thinking about all the things that are wrong.
· Sell yourself on yourself by believing in yourself, your talents, and gifts.
· Listen to what you say to yourself that is negative and say the opposite.
· Put your life in God’s hands, knowing you are divinely guided & protected.
As I think about my spiritual journey that started 55 years ago, I am astonished at how far I have come. My attitude is gratitude for the lessons and opportunities I have been given to grow and EVOLVE. After years of inner work and healing, I have come home to myself and “awakened” to the truth of who I am.
Sometimes it was hard and difficult, but I always got to the other side with the grace of God and my willingness to TRUST & surrender to the Spirit. Today, I am no longer seeking, pushing, searching outside of myself for answers as I am contented and experience a peace that passes all understanding.
Here is the truth of who I am and what I PRACTICE daily:
· Love is my sole purpose. I am LOVE and loved. My religion is LOVE.
· I have learned to go within for my answers for everything.
· I am less defensive, reactive, and don’t take things personally.
· I detach from the outcome knowing all is planned in the mind of God.
· I ACCEPT WHAT IS as if I have chosen it.
· I am less judgmental of myself and others.
· I am aware of the egoic thought system and how it has robbed me.
· I am more patient with myself & others knowing we are all doing our best and we are all ONE.
It truly is a joy to serve and inspire others to know the truth of who they are and live their highest and best life. We are meant to live in joy. It is our birthright.
Our Love Story
Pat Hastings-Burns & Larry Burns: A Spiritual Match Made in Heaven (Hawai’i)
“Love all you see, including yourself,” said a wise kahuna many years ago, an extraordinary statement empowered by its simple beauty. Unbeknownst to them at the time, it was learning this all-encompassing kind of love that eventually led Pat and Larry to Maui and to each other.
Larry says the journey of his spirituality introduced him to a concept he calls love consciousness. “It’s knowing, accepting, and trusting that love is the most powerful energy known to humankind—stronger than fear, hatred, or suffering. Love is much stronger than any weapons that man has ever developed. Love is available to everyone as a gift, just like the sun that shines and the rain that falls. Love is the answer to all difficulties. When we choose love over fear, the world becomes the heaven on Earth it is meant to be.”
Many different and even surprising milestones led Larry to his future wife “I love horses, they were an important part of my life when I was younger,” he shares. “I was born and raised in Hartford, Connecticut with 2 brothers and a sister. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up,” he chuckles, “as I’ve had quite a few job experiences! I was a U.S. Marine recruit, a policeman, and a mailman. I owned a snack distributor business and a catering business for 16 years and designed and managed an industrial cafeteria for 15 years. I often say, “If I find myself in the kitchen when I die… I’ll know I went to hell,” he jokes. “It was not something I enjoyed and it was not a labor of love. If that’s what it took to get me to Maui, then it was well worth it,” he adds.
An upbringing in an alcoholic household in Long Island, New York, filled Pat with fear, doubt, and low self-esteem, but therapy in her 40s helped her confront and transcend much of her pain. Most importantly, she learned to love herself, and her experiences led her to publish her highly successful book in 2007, Simply a Woman of Faith: How to Live in Spiritual Power and Transform Your Life. “Throughout my life, people kept telling me, ‘Wow, you should write a book—you have such powerful faith stories!” she remembers. “So I knew that one day I would write a book about how unwavering faith can get you through the most difficult life situations.”
She wrote the book over several years, finishing it at the same time she retired from her 20-year career as a Licensed Addiction Psychotherapist in Rhode Island. In 2011, her book created a connection that would change her life forever. “After one of my weekly presentations, a woman thanked me for my talk and said she lived on Maui, to which I replied, ‘It’s always been my dream to visit Maui.’ She then offered me the opportunity to stay with her for as long as I wanted and use her car—an offer I couldn’t pass up! In 2012, I stayed with her for a month and fell in love with the island. I felt the spirit of Maui calling me to live there,” she says blissfully.
After much deliberation and prayer, Pat decided to rent her Rhode Island condo so she could move to Maui. “As you can imagine, my family was concerned and thought I was nuts,” she laughs. “At age 62, I left my family, friends, community, and business to follow my heart and move 5,000 miles away. What’s more, I knew I was going to meet my soulmate there. I didn’t know how or when, but I knew in my heart that he was there waiting for me.”
Larry and Pat met at a senior center ballroom dance and discovered they were both from the East Coast and loved to dance. “We became fast friends and spent many days together. We shared our spiritual values and what was deeply important to us.” They were inseparable, Pat recalls. “We talked every night and I called him ‘Mr. Magnificent’,” she laughs. “My daughter knew I wanted to find my soulmate and asked, ‘What’s wrong with Larry? You spend so much time together.’” Pat admits that in the beginning of their friendship, she couldn’t see or feel a romantic future with Larry, but after 2 years of being best friends, her feelings for him deepened and she was terrified to tell him.
“The truth is that love was right there before me, but I didn’t see it until I was ready and allowed my heart to open to receive love,” she admits. “We were both ready to be together. In the beginning, Larry had no desire to remarry. Two years later, at Christmas, he surprised me and asked me to marry him at a party at our house with our friends. He got on his knees and said, “You are my Queen and I am your King, would you like to marry me?” The couple celebrated their 5th anniversary this May.
Pat was married for 30 years before getting a divorce in 1998. She was single for 15 years before meeting Larry. During that time of being alone, she learned how to love, appreciate, trust and forgive herself. She became her own best friend. It is her passion and joy to encourage women to love themselves and never give up on finding true love. Contrary to popular belief, she smiles and says, “There are “good men” out there no matter how old you are. I was 65 and Larry was 72 when we met.”
Larry deeply enjoys practicing being in the moment and not allowing anything in the past or future to spoil it. He says that when he focuses on the present moment, life becomes more vibrant and richer as nature pulsates with renewed vigor. “The ocean is more beautiful and the flowers are more vibrant and breathtaking. Sunrises and sunsets are more spectacular, and I am filled with gratitude for being able to live in this magnificent paradise that is Maui Island,” he says dreamily.
“But one of my favorite things to do is to share time with my wife,” he adds with a gentle smile. “Her nickname is ‘Sparkle’. I love her vibrant personality, smile, wisdom, and sense of humor. People lovingly call her Pat with the hat because she always wears a purple hat with a flower on her walks. We thoroughly enjoy each other’s company, whether it be watching the sunset on our lanai, taking a walk together, going to a restaurant, or watching a movie. Pat and I share and discuss our spiritual journey often, and respect and encourage each other’s growth.”
Their combined love and wisdom naturally sought an outlet, and in 2020, Pat and Larry co-authored It’s Never Too Late for Love: Manifesting Your Heart’s Desire. In their inspiring book, they share their experiences as a couple along the path of awakening and striving every day to practice living a conscious partnership. Elements of this include “not beingjoined at the hip, but at the heart; welcoming triggers and wounds from the past that need to be healed and released; actively looking for what’s right rather than trying to fix what’s wrong.
He smiles and says, “We strive to be role models for other couples and to share what a conscious partnership looks and feels like by sending love out to the world and keeping our vibration high in Love and gratitude. As we look for opportunities to be vessels of Love, we are finding a life full of gratitude, peace, and joy.”
Larry’s sons Lawrence (56) and Gerard (55), his twin granddaughters (19), and grandson (23), all live on the East Coast. Pat has 4 children (ranging in ages from 44 to 51), 6 grandchildren (ranging in ages from 4 to 30), and a younger brother in New Jersey. A year ago, Pat and Larry added a brown-and-black Dachshund/Rat Terrier mix named Kobe to their Maui family.
“I have never been healthier, happier, joyful, contented, and more at home in my own skin than I am today. I’m so grateful that I had the courage and faith to follow my heart,” Pat says, beaming. “‘Mother Maui’ is magical, mystical, and beautiful; not only with her flowers, mountains, and oceans, but with a presence of spirit and love that pulsates through our being.”
During this tumultuous time, Pat strives to cultivate a calm, inner state no matter what’s happening in the world by remembering to come home to herself and to know we are all a spark of the Divine. Her motto is to live life to the fullest because we are not promised tomorrow. She believes that life just keeps getting better and better and the best is yet to come.
In closing, Pat smiles and shares, “Many people are trying to find their purpose in life. I have found my purpose and that is to “show up” every day to BE a light in this world and to keep my vibration high in love, peace, and gratitude. Happiness is an inside job! The world is awakening to the truth that we are all ONE and not separate from Source/God/Universe.”
Larry’s parting words are similarly uplifting. “It is my belief that Love is all there is, it is all around us, within and without, and available to us right now. Each person has within them their own great love story. Whether single or married, rich or poor, when you look at life through loving eyes, you are happy and have the only real wealth there is, and that is LOVE.”
What are you waiting for?
Are you waiting for something to happen in your life? Perhaps your heart’s desire that hasn’t manifested yet, your soulmate, a new job, a home, clarity on which direction to go, a medical diagnosis, abundance, or peace in your heart.
For much of my life, I felt impatient and hated waiting. As I have matured and deepened my faith through my life experiences, I now trust the Divine timing in my life. It is a deep KNOWING that everything works out for my highest good and it’s all perfect. God is never late or early, but right on time.
I have learned not to PUSH or try to make things happen the way I think they should look or want them to look. It’s about being detached from the outcome. I live my life trusting diving timing and allowing miracles, opportunities, and synchronicities to come to me. As I walk in faith and trust things just “show up”.
I believe WAITING is an integral part of the spiritual journey and our growth. Trusting God’s plan takes patience, courage, and faith. For many years, I have lived with the concept of “open and closed doors.” I call it being in the hallway and it isn’t always easy. One door has closed and the other door hasn’t opened yet. Do you bang on the door, give up on your dreams because it’s taking so long, or feel frustrated and angry?
Some call being in the hallway the “messy middle.” You may feel afraid, lost, angry, frustrated, abandoned, unanchored, uncomfortable, and confused. It is in the hallway or the “messy middle” that we learn to trust and depend on Source. Our faith muscles are strengthened. Sometimes, when the next door is opened, we see why we had to wait. There were many incidences in my life where I had to wait until I was ready for the next step.
I waited 15 years for my soulmate to “show up.” I wasn’t always a happy camper, to put it mildly. I complained and asked Spirit, “What’s wrong with me?” I’m doing everything I know to do to attract him and it just isn’t happening.
I’m so grateful that I didn’t give up on my dream while in the hallway or the “messy middle.” I finally stopped banging on the door and feeling like a victim as I let go and let God. If you have been reading my blog, you know my story of meeting Larry and celebrating 5 years of being married.
Right before meeting Larry, I had an angel reading and she said, “There are 2 men coming into your life and you will choose one of them.” That is exactly what happened. They were both named Larry and I chose the right Larry! Thank heavens.
Our book, “It’s Never Too Late for Love” was published almost 2 years ago. It was a huge accomplishment writing a book together and having it published, especially since neither one of us wanted to write a book.
After the book was published and our friends and family supported us, we made the decision to leave it in God’s hands to get it “out there.” We didn’t have the energy, time, or money to do a big marketing plan.
About a year ago, we were nominated to have our “love story” featured in a local magazine on Maui. We were peaceful and detached from the outcome. We waited quite a while to hear that our story was going to be published.
We received the magazine this week and were delighted with it. The message of love is powerful and inspiring. What a joy to see our picture on the cover of the magazine.
We are both detached from the outcome. We only want God’s will and to inspire others to never give up on their dreams, no matter how old they are. I want to serve in a bigger way and I’m trusting God’s perfect divine timing. I “show up” and shine my light wherever I go. As I shine my light, it gives permission for others to shine their light.
Wouldn’t it be just like Spirit to get the magazine in Oprah’s hands as she lives on Maui too? If it’s God’s plan it will happen, nothing can stop it. I surrender to Source, SMILE, and WAIT.
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