I lost myself in DOING and I found myself in BEING. I will share with you my journey and experience of finding myself the last 5 years after I moved to Maui.
I retired from my profession of 20 years as an Alcohol and Drug therapist 8 years ago after my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” was published. I then started my own coaching and speaking business. When I moved to Maui 5 years ago, it was my plan to continue my spiritual life coaching practice as well as be an inspirational speaker. We know the quote, “We make plans and God laughs.”
It had only been a few weeks after I arrived on Maui, when I heard Spirit say, “I don’t want you to do anything, I want you to learn HOW TO BE. At first I thought I was hearing things and didn’t like this message. I thought I knew how to BE and wanted to continue using my gifts and doing what I loved to do.
By the grace of God, I listened and let go of my coaching practice and speaking engagements. It didn’t take me long to adjust to this new way of life. I learned to stop pushing and trying to make things happen. I stopped the rushing and busyness that was in the fiber of my being. I relaxed and learned to listen in a deeper way to the small, still voice of God within. My faith and trust in God deepened as I watched the miracles happen. I learned how to live in the moment and be spontaneous. I continued to practice self-love and appreciation.
Many of you have been reading my blogs for years. I am so grateful for your love and support. I have shared my struggles as well as my joys. You know how I attracted a beautiful home overlooking the ocean and how I stepped out in faith trusting God to provide the money for my rent which had doubled. I attracted my soul mate and am now getting married. All of this was a part of God’s plan, for sure.
The past couple of months I have had a “stirring within” to start doing spiritual coaching again. I have prayed about it and believe it is Spirit saying, “It’s time for you Pat to use your gifts again. There are people out there who need you and they will come to you.”
So I am stepping out in faith again and trusting Spirit is leading the way. If you have been reading my blogs, you already know who I am and what I do. I strive to be as authentic as I can and share my process as honestly as I can.
If you feel a “quickening” in your heart and would like a deeper walk with Spirit, I would be happy to assist you on your journey as your spiritual coach.
Do you want to hear the voice of Spirit more clearly?
Do you want more love, faith, joy or peace in your life?
Do you want to remove limiting beliefs that no longer serve you?
Do you want to discover the YOU that has been buried for many years?
Do you want to connect with your authentic self and live from that sacred space?
Do you want to let go of the past and learn to live in the present moment?
Do you want a healthy relationship with your partner?
Do you want to discover and live your passion?
Do you want more fun and play in your life?
Here is a testimony from Linda Pestana who recently started back coaching with me.
“If you are looking for a compassionate and caring guide to help you move in a new direction in your life with tenderness and love….look no further. Pat Hastings tops my list of woman who brings the best out in you. Pat was my spiritual coach for 2 years while she lived in Rhode Island. When she moved to Maui, I felt distance would separate us. I missed her wisdom, empowerment, depth and most of all her love of Spirit. Pat has a gift of listening and tapping into the gift of the moment. She hears your soul and allows you to tap into those places that need healing. I’m back with Pat for spiritual coaching calling her from a distance. It works and my life continues to be blessed.
Spiritual coaching is very important to me as it keeps me focused and calls me to return to the God within. I remember how it is to come home to my own inner voice. Pat has taught me to be gentle with myself. She will hold you tenderly and call you to be that beautiful woman or man that you are.” Linda Pestana, Grief Facilitator and Author of “Voices of the Heart”
I will only work with 5 clients, so if Spirit is knocking at the door of your heart, please email or call me now. I can be reached at 401-862-8859. I look forward to hearing from you and assisting you on your spiritual journey. If you know of anyone who might benefit from spiritual coaching, I would appreciate it if you would forward this to them. Mahalo
I am sitting at the LA airport with 3 hours to kill before I board the plane back to Maui and decided to write about my 1 month trip back to Rhode Island. My friend Larry asked me before I left, “What is your intention for your trip?” I immediately said, “That it flow with peace, ease and grace.” That seems to be a daily mantra for me in everything I do.
I truly believe that “We get what we expect.” I expected my trip to flow with peace, ease and grace and indeed that is exactly what happened. This is what I wrote in my journal the morning I left for Rhode Island. “I feel excited with expectant faith that my family reunion will be the best one ever. My intention is to love my family and friends and to let them know how much I love them. I only see perfection and all is well.”
I had an amazingly fun, relaxing trip filled with the love of family and friends. I was treated like a queen; taken to lunch, dinner, picnic, boat ride, bed & breakfast and a 4 day stay at Narragansett beach in the hottest week of the month. You know who you are so I say thank you from the bottom of my heart to all of you who loved me and spoiled me.
I stayed with my daughter, Mary, on her beautiful Herb Farm for part of the time and she cooked delicious, nutritious meals for me. I felt like a gypsy because I stayed at 7 different homes in 4 weeks. Have bag, will travel was my motto. The day before I left, my daughter and her new boyfriend and I went to Newport, RI for a picnic. When we were driving home, Mary handed me a little package wrapped in newspaper and said, “This is a going away present from Glen and I.” As I opened the stain glass red shaped heart, she said, “This is because we love you so much.” What a special moment that I will never forget and will treasure in my heart.
As we all know, being with family (for a month) can sometimes bring up old issues and dysfunctional patterns. I can truly say that this has been the best time with my family EVER. Even though my children were young adults when my ex-husband and I got a divorce after 30 years of marriage, it took several years for the family to heal and deal. I sometimes felt like I didn’t belong in my own family and that was very painful.
Had my family changed, or had I changed? My daily prayer and intention when I get out of bed in the morning is to be peaceful, to love and to serve. Living in Maui and learning how TO BE had changed me from the inside out. I could feel the changes in me because I felt relaxed and peaceful and no longer needed to control people and situations around me. I had learned to “go with the flow.” In prayer one morning, Spirit showed me that I needed to make an amends to one of my children that I had judged for many years. After I made the amends and it was accepted, I felt like I was floating when I attended church that morning. God is good.
I know that “happiness is an inside job” and doesn’t depend on outer circumstances or how much money I make or who I’m with. I decide how happy I want to be. Believe me, it’s not MAGIC and it doesn’t just happen. It’s about a committed relationship with the Divine within me where there is total trust and a KNOWING that all is well, no matter what. It’s about an internal stream of gratitude or an “Attitude of Gratitude.” Here are the keys to my happiness: Trusting, Relaxing, Allowing, Gratitude, Forgiving and Accepting what is.
My son, Jimmy, bought my car when I moved to Maui. Since he also had a truck, I asked if I could use it while I was in Rhode Island. He said, “Yes” but a few weeks before my visit, he contacted me and said, “Mom, I need to sell the car because my friend is going to buy it now.” I knew something would show up and didn’t worry about it. I didn’t know until I arrived in Rhode Island that I would be driving my old red Honda again. His friend had a knee operation and the doctor told him he couldn’t drive a shift and my car was a shift. I hoped that I could use the car for the whole time, but didn’t know when his friend wanted to pick it up. My son called me the day before I was to leave for Maui and said, “My friend wants to pick up the car today.” Thank you God for taking care of the details and for your perfect timing
My flight was scheduled to return to Maui on Tuesday, July 30th. My friend Gail called a few days before that and said, “There is a tropical storm headed toward Hawaii on Tuesday or Wednesday, isn’t that when you are leaving?” I felt some anxiety at first and thought about calling the airline to change my flight. I didn’t want to be stuck in the airport over- night if the flight was cancelled last minute. I decided, instead, to thank God and to trust and do nothing. Of course, I would keep an eye on the storm, but I wasn’t going to worry about it because it was out of my control. The storm hit Maui on Monday, the day before my scheduled flight. All flights were canceled that were going into Maui on Monday. I arrived at the airport on Tuesday and had clear sailing, except for a minor detail about a valve that needed to be fixed before we took off. The 86-year-old woman sitting next to me told me that her flight was on Monday and she spent the night at the airport until this flight. Some people were stuck in the airport until Thursday and Friday. Again, God’s perfect timing.
I arrived home safe and sound and spent the first day quiet and adjusting to being back in my home. I swam in the pool and took a walk along the beach to connect with the land again. I was surprised when I woke up the next morning and felt anxious and afraid in the pit of my stomach.
I had a half-hour of INSANITY as I woke up that morning from a dream. Was it jet lag and being up almost 24 hours or was it my ego playing games with me? I felt alone (even though friends had already reached out to me through email and calls). What was going on because nothing had changed – except my THINKING! I was in charge (or I thought I was) again because old patterns of impatience and wanting to know HOW, WHAT, WHEN and WHERE my life was going to change were emerging. Instead of allowing things to flow with peace, ease and grace and the way I have been living my life for the last year and a half, I thought I could help a little and move things along a little faster. Can you relate? YIKES, I knew I was in trouble and needed to get back on the TRUTH track fast.
I jumped out of bed, got on my knees immediately and prayed the Serenity Prayer. I couldn’t wait to pray and meditate and find my peace again.
Here is a quote from Abraham that seemed appropriate. “What true patience is, is knowing that you want it and knowing that it’s coming and actually enjoying the unfolding along the way. Understand that you never get it done. So you might as well be patient. You never get it done, because every time you want and receive, you also receive a new perspective from which to want. Life is a constant unfolding of new desires and then a constant alignment to those desires.”
This is what I read in Creative Ideas by Ernest Holmes:
“I now establish in my thinking an attitude of expectancy of good things. I let go of the limitations of the past and live with the enthusiastic expectancy of the good that I will encounter today. I know that nothing is too good to be true and that nothing is too much for the power that can do anything. I expect the unexpected to happen and believe in a greater good than I have yet experienced. I keep my mind open to divine intuition which is the wisdom that guides me.
I believe that the Spirit within me, which is God, makes perfect the way before me. In this faith and knowledge, I discover a great peace of mind, a deep sense of belonging, a complete realization that God is right where I am. I put my whole trust in God and feel an intimate relationship with the presence and power which controls everything. The Spirit gently leads me, wisely counsels me. I know that the love that envelops everything flows through me to everyone, and with it goes a confidence, a sense of joy and of peace, as well as a buoyant enthusiasm and zest for life.”
The peace has returned, I am grateful and trusting that all is well and flowing with peace, ease and grace. I have discovered a great peace of mind, a deep sense of belonging, a complete realization that God is right where I am. I put my whole trust in God and feel an intimate relationship with the presence and power which controls everything.
Have you been affected by someone else’s drinking or drugging? Do you stay up at night worrying about someone you love? Are you frustrated that your efforts of trying to control haven’t worked?
What does Spirituality have to do with addiction? It has everything to do with it. Addiction is a family disease that affects the person abusing as well as family members. It is a Spiritual disease and the way to recover is through developing Spirituality. This disease has been likened to as having a “hole in the soul.”
Spirituality is the life of the spirit and an awareness of a presence sometimes alone in stillness and sometimes with others. It is a “connectedness” with self, others and a Power greater than yourself. That Power may be referred to as Higher Power, God, Source, Universe – whatever is comfortable for you. It’s important to understand Spirituality is not religion. Unfortunately, many people have been turned off by organized religion and think Spirituality is religion. You can be religious and not spiritual and spiritual and not religious
When someone is actively drinking or drugging, they are disconnected from themselves, from others and from their Source. They are lonely, scared and confused. Often their lives are out of control and they’ve lost family members, jobs, homes due to their addiction. It is devastating for the person who is addicted as well as for family members.
Family members often blame themselves, try to control their loved one and in the end lose themselves. Being involved with an addicted person for any length of time and trying to reason with them can be discouraging. Children suffer because they think that if the parent really loved them, they would stop using. Many have turned to Al-anon and Al-ateen to cope with this devastating and life threatening disease. In Al-anon you learn the three C’s. You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it.
The stress of living with someone who is addicted can have numerous effects:
Physical: You may develop health problems, such as headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, upset stomach, colitis, or heart problems
Emotional: You may feel angry, resentful, irritable, lonely, guilty or depressed
Social: In relating to others, you may be withdrawn, aloof, isolated, embarrassed, aggressive, or controlling
Spiritual: Your outlook on life may become bitter, despairing, helpless, hopeless or lacking in faith
As family members, we learn we can’t “fix” the addicted person. We need to allow addicts the dignity to recover at their own pace. Learning to detach with love is a skill that must be learned and practiced on a daily basis.
Detachment is regaining your identity and taking responsibility for your own life – and admitting you cannot control the life of another person. Detaching does not mean that you stop caring. It means that you stop trying to control someone else. You need to focus on yourself and make changes in you.
Tips on how to develop Spirituality and live in peace
- Detach and stop enabling – the chemically dependent person must be responsible for their behavior. You can no longer step in and pick up the pieces. It’s important to stop lying, making excuses and covering up for the person’s actions.
- Accept – that changes you make may cause others to be angry and resentful. Expect that. Expect them to react to the healthy changes you are making.
- Do not threaten – Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.
- Focus on yourself and what you can change – Discover what you like to do and what gives you pleasure. Do little things for yourself each day that you enjoy; going for a walk, listening to music, starting a hobby, going out to lunch with a friend.
- “Show up” everyday and develop a spiritual practice of sitting down for 5 minutes and being quiet. Journal and meditating are wonderful tools to incorporate.
- Identify your feelings and share them with someone you trust.
- Practice an attitude of gratitude by focusing on what you do have, rather than what’s missing.
- Have faith that you have everything you need and you are in the presence of a loving presence and you are not alone.
- Change your thinking and your life will change.
- Join a recovery group.
- Work with a Spiritual Counselor/Coach
What is Spiritual Counseling/Coaching and how it can help you
The purpose of spiritual counseling/coaching is to assist you in finding God in the midst of life events, and to prayerfully support you during life changes. It is designed to inspire and awaken you to all possibilities of spiritual growth in your life. It is to help you focus on the solution as your build your conscious awareness of God’s presence and activity in your life. Spiritual counseling/coaching will help you meet life’s challenges from a new consciousness of connection with God.
For more information about Spiritual Coaching contact Pat @ 401-521-6783 or Pat@SimplyaWomanofFaith.com
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Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
621 Laniolu Place Kihei, HI 96753