For several years, it has been my heart’s desire to go on a cruise. I was a speaker on a Norwegian Cruise ship to Mexico in January, 2012, right before I moved to Maui. I had a fabulous time and even won “Dancing with the Stars”. Every time I see the Norwegian Cruise ship docked in Kahului Harbor, I say to myself or to whoever I am driving with, “I really want to go on another cruise-and I will.” I imagined myself going on another cruise and I believed it would happen.
Many of you who have been reading my blogs know that my friend, Larry, invited me to go with him on a 12- day cruise to Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Germany and Scotland – all expenses paid about 2 years ago. To clarify: this is not my soul mate, Larry, but the “other” Larry in the dance community who was also my friend. I had never been to Europe nor had I ever traveled with a man other than my husband or fiancé. I knew friends of the opposite sex traveled together all the time, but this was new territory for me. I would have preferred going on a romantic cruise with my soul mate, but my soul mate hadn’t shown up yet (or at least I hadn’t recognized him yet,)
Unfortunately, Larry had to cancel the cruise due to personal reasons. Of course, I was disappointed at first, but trusted Spirit closed the door for a reason and there would be another opportunity in the future. Instead of disappointment, I changed it to HISAPPOINTMENT. It has been my experience that when God closes a door, another door is opened and it is always something bigger and better for me.
My soul mate, Larry, had traveled extensively before we met, so he really didn’t have any interest in traveling and leaving Maui. But, he knew it was the desire of my heart to go on another cruise. A few days ago, I approached him about going on a cruise with me. He said, “I wish there was a cruise leaving from Honolulu so we wouldn’t have to travel to the mainland first.” I said, “I haven’t heard of any cruises leaving from Honolulu, but I will call AAA and check it out.” I had checked it out several months prior and there weren’t any cruise ships leaving from Honolulu. I asked him, “Where would you like to go?” He thought about it for a minute and said, “I have never been to Australia, I think that would be fun”.
Not letting any water under the bridge, I called AAA the next day to inquire about cruises leaving from Honolulu. I thought, “Well, maybe things have changed and now there were cruises from Honolulu.” The secretary answered and said, “The travel agents are all busy, but I will take your information down about what you want and have her call you back.” I told her what I wanted and she immediately said, “Oh, I just saw something go across my desk for a cruise to Australia from Honolulu. Let me look for the brochure.” A minute later she was back giving me some information. She said she would have the travel agent call me back in a ½ hour.
As I waited “impatiently” for the travel agent to call me back, my heart started to pound fast and I felt so excited. Was this God, I wondered opening the door? While I was waiting, I received a call from a woman asking me to make a $40 flower arrangement for her. Of course, I will need a lot more money than this, but I saw it as a sign that God was beginning to provide the money for me to go on the cruise. It certainly seemed like a green light to me. Now I just had to convince Larry this was a green light and open door.
The travel agent called back in no time and gave me all the details and prices. It was a 14 day cruise, leaving from Honolulu to Australia – just what we were looking for. I wrote down the prices for an inside cabin and prices for the balcony. I couldn’t wait to share it with Larry and hoped he would be as excited and open to going on this cruise as I was.
As we sat on the couch that night, I sheepishly said, “Guess what, I found the perfect cruise for us and it leaves from Honolulu and cruises to Australia.” He smiled and said, “O.K. tell me about it.” I babbled on about what a great deal it was and how I had never been on a 14 day cruise before. The inside cabins were quite a bit cheaper and I thought that was what he would want to do. Larry has been on several cruises in the past and has always had an inside cabin. I had a balcony suite on my last cruise and loved it. He said, “I have never had a balcony and if we are going to do it, let’s do it right.” I agreed that I also would like a balcony suite. It felt like we were coming from abundance and not lack-even though it was a step in faith that the Universe would provide the money.
I couldn’t wait to book it and the next day we called Costco to speak with their travel agent. As we were making our plans, the agent said, “I have to ask you this, do you want separate beds or one bed?” We were on speaker phone and both simultaneously said, “One bed.” He laughed and said, “O.K.” I guess he thought we were senior citizens and may want to sleep in separate beds. Not these rocking seniors!
Whatever your desires are, here are 10 things to manifest the desires of your heart
- Trust that when God closes one door, He will open another door and it will be for your highest good.
- Be specific and ask for what you want, which means you must know what you want.
- Trust that the desire of your heart is God’s desire for you or you wouldn’t have it in the first place.
- Trust the timing and don’t give up on your desires. It’s His timing, not yours.
- Be willing to WAIT and ALLOW it to come to you. Then take ACTION.
- Trust that the money will come as you step out in faith and trust the process. Faith – Fully Allowing It to Happen.
- Trust that God wants your good and you deserve the best.
- Trust that you are always guided on your spiritual path.
- Trust that the Universe has already answered your prayer.
- Imagine and believe that you will go or do or have what your heart desires.
As I reviewed the above list, I became aware of how much of my manifesting is about TRUSTING & ALLOWING. I invite you to look over the list and see if there are areas of your life where you have difficulty trusting. Is it the timing you struggle with, not feeling deserving or not knowing what you want?
“When you want something all of the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
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“I am guided by the wisdom of God in everything I THINK, SAY OR DO. I know how to plan my life and direct my path because God is doing this FOR ME by doing it THROUGH ME. There is no uncertainty or confusion. The divine Spirit always knows what to do and how to do it.” Creative Ideas, Ernest Holmes
Thank you all for writing and thanking me for my “list” of how I kept myself peaceful in last week’s blog. I have followed it and its working. I would like to add a few more things that I have practiced and learned this week. One of them is that I have the right to change my mind – and not feel guilty or apologetic. I am not responsible for another person’s reactions or feelings. I have to do what is right for me by going within and getting in touch with my feelings. My feelings are a gift from God and they will guide me to the next right thing for me to do or be.
I was sharing with my friend, Kati, what I learned about asking for what I wanted and being willing to accept a NO or a YES from the person I asked to do something for me. She immediately said, “Please share what you wrote to me when I said no to your request because it felt so good.” She sent me a text saying, “Apologies for not jumping in today loved one. Needed an unwind day for body, mind and spirit. I will be there with bells on toes for the yard sale. Thanks for understanding.” I knew that she felt badly that she couldn’t help me so here is what I wrote back to her. “Sweetheart, no apologies necessary. Saying YES to yourself is just as important, perhaps more important, than saying YES to me. I respect your NO.”
“A NO uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a YES uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.” Gandhi
There was a time in my life that I didn’t know how to say NO to others because I wanted to be loved and wanted to please others. I didn’t know how to ask for what I wanted – because I didn’t know what I wanted or what my feelings were. I was passive and expected others to read my mind and know what I wanted. And then I was resentful and angry when they didn’t do what I wanted them to do. I often said YES to a request when I really wanted to say NO because I was afraid of hurting other people’s feelings.
Over the years, I have learned and now teach others how to be assertive and the positive goals of saying no and to say no in a way that doesn’t destroy a relationship. By saying no to demands for your time and energy and inappropriate behaviors, you create the space to the YESES in your life that really matter. You cannot truly say YES until you can truly say NO and stand in your power. Saying NO is saying YES to yourself and protecting what is important to you.
Here are some reasons why it is hard to say NO, speak up, set boundaries and say YES to what really matters:
Fear of not being liked or loved.
Fear of retaliation – if I don’t do this for you, you won’t help me.
Easier to just go along and pretend nothing is wrong.
Don’t want to offend someone or hurt someone.
Don’t want someone to be angry with you.
Don’t want to rock the boat and stir things up – peace at any price (at the expense of your own needs).
You don’t know what you want– fear of facing self and the truth.
You are more comfortable with others making decisions.
You don’t trust yourself that it’s ok to have wants and needs.
You never learned the skills of how to say no.
You are afraid of standing up for yourself.
You are unconsciously attached to being the martyr or victim.
It is easier to stay in denial about a problem because then you won’t have to take responsibility for yourself and what you want.
You don’t want to feel guilty and look selfish.
You don’t deserve to say no. You tell yourself “I should be more loving, available…”
You imagine in advance their reaction, so you say nothing.
Things are good enough as they are and you feel a measure of security in the relationship.
You don’t deserve any better.
The security of the relationship is more important than your own personal fulfillment.
You may feel responsible or made to feel responsible for the failure or unhappiness of others.
Communication is essential to healthy relationships, whether that be with a partner, spouse, child, friend or employer. We need to know how to ask for what we want, how to receive, how to speak up, say no and set appropriate boundaries. Saying YES to ourselves is healthy and self-caring. We not only help ourselves, but we teach others, especially our children how to do this.
If you are struggling with any of the above, don’t know what you want, don’t know how to be assertive and ask for what you want and want help to say YES to what is important in your life, I can help you.
I am offering a complimentary 30-minute coaching session. Call me and we will discuss the special package I am offering this month. As a Spiritual Life Coach, I have assisted people deal with issues regarding addictions, grief, transitions, relationships and trauma.
I woke up early on Saturday morning and felt like Spirit “hit me between the eyes.” Have you ever felt like this? Spirit was inviting me to examine my motives in regards to sending out my latest blog that I had just finished a few days ago. I had to ask myself the real reason I wrote it and what I hoped to receive. I realized that my motive was because I wanted to receive your approval. I knew I needed to delete the blog and start all over again, which I am now doing.
Have you ever experienced getting 99% positive feedback about something you did, perhaps a project at work or remarks from a teacher or something new that you just tried and the 1% negative remark is what you focused on? It seems absurd, but I bet that many of us have had that experience at one time or another in our lives. Perhaps as a youngster on your report card you got all A’s and one B. Instead of acknowledging the hard work it took to get all A’s your parents wanted to know why you got the one B? I’m wondering if we were being set up to get hooked into behaviors of perfectionism and not being good enough?
I know in my heart of hearts that I am doing my life’s work by living my life to the fullest, being open to receiving more good, trusting God in all my affairs and then sharing how God miraculously and ordinarily shows up in my life. It is my delight and joy to share these blogs every week to inspire you so you can experience God in a deeper way and to know that you are not alone. I am as honest and authentic as I can be, even when or especially when my stuff comes up. I know what I need to write about when I say to God, “You really don’t want me to share this, do you?” The answer is always, “Yes, I do.”
Even though I know in my heart that I am doing God’s will by writing the weekly blogs, I asked myself, “Why was I about to give my power away by wanting and asking for your approval? Because I am human, because I still need healing and transformation? Probably both.
I am grateful to Spirit for “hitting me between the eyes” and revealing to me my real motives for what I was about to send out to you and showing me the truth. Let me explain. I received a comment from a reader of my blogs that was disturbing and I felt angry and hurt by the comment. I started to question myself and what I was doing and, consequently, felt blocked in my writing. I KNOW that it is impossible and unreasonable to think I will please everyone. So, why was I having a hard time with this and allowing this comment to disturb me? Was it like the 99% positive and 1% negative feedback that I was buying into? Instead of being resentful and angry, I am grateful for the negative comment for it brought to light what still needs healing in me. I received a comment from someone else just a few days later that was so loving and uplifting that it brought tears to my eyes. She said, “I love your blogs, your honesty and authenticity and you seem to be so happy.”
Wanting other people’s approval is something that I have been healing from for years, but I guess it is like the onion and you just keep peeling and going deeper until you get to the core – which is God’s love and light. When I know that I am loved unconditionally by God, no matter what I do or don’t do, other people’s opinion or approval of me will not matter. I wish I could say I was there, but I’m not. I am on my way and that is good enough for me today. Because all I have is today, and in this moment, I know I am loved and am happy to be whom and where I am.
Spiritual progress is like a detoxification. Things have to come up in order to be released. Once we have asked to be healed, then our unhealed places are forced to the surface. Our blocks to love are not suppressed or denied, but rather brought into our conscious awareness. Our fearful places have to be revealed before they can be healed.
I reminded myself that I am on an amazing spiritual journey of self-love, self-discovery and self-knowing, which brings me to a question that was asked of me by my friend, Marise, this week that was very profound. The question was: WHEN DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW?
I had to really think about the question for a few minutes before my answers came up. For example: I KNEW years ago that I was going to write a book, but I didn’t know WHEN – it was someday. How did I KNOW – because everyone kept telling me, “You have so many faith stories, you have to write a book.” Even though I KNEW it, it took me 30 years to begin it and then 7 years to finish it. It was a process of just taking a step at a time, going backward, moving forward, in spite of the deep fears within.
The other area of my life that came up for me is WHEN I KNEW THAT I KNEW that I would live my life to the fullest, with or without my husband. I remember the exact moment and where I was when I made that commitment to myself. It took me 10 years to leave a marriage that was unhealthy and not life-giving.
As I learn to trust myself, God and my inner-knowing, I don’t think it will take me as long to do or be what I KNOW.
I invite you to think about “WHEN DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW?” Ask Spirit to bring to light what you need to know that will help you move forward on your spiritual journey.
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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