We are in the beginning stages of the biggest collective AWAKENING ever seen in the history of mankind. This is what we have been waiting for! It’s a scary time for many because we are living in the unknown and we don’t know the future or how bad it will get. I have felt disoriented at times, as nothing is the same. What I do know is that we are all ONE and interconnected and interdependent more than ever before. I do know that Love is all there is.
I have to admit that I got “sucked in” to the swirling energy of fear all around me by reading everything about the Coronavirus a few weeks ago, which led to me feeling anxious and fearful. Then I judged myself and felt shame and guilt for having these feelings. I’m grateful it only lasted for a few days before I came back to LOVE. This is not how I wanted to react as a Woman of Faith in God. I had to look deeply at what my truth was and what was important to me. I am human and forgave myself for getting sucked into the energy of fear.
Here is the message I received from Spirit:
“I am bringing my people together through this world health crisis. I am waking them up. There is no need to be afraid because it is LOVE that is behind this. The world is out of balance with greed and power. You know the truth of who I am and who you are. Hold fast-don’t give in to fear. Yes, feel it and let it go as quickly as it came. Stay centered and rest in me and recalibrate as you need to. Pray for the world and know all is well as I am bringing love into hearts that don’t know me. This is my plan. Relax and pray for your brothers and sisters.”
We are all invited to trust in a Power greater than ourselves to keep us and our loved one’s protected and safe. There are many who are suffering now with loss of jobs, income and we are hearing of friends and family members already suffering with the Coronavirus. The ramifications are beyond my comprehension. We are self-quarantining as Larry and I are both at high risk and not taking any chances with our health.
Here are some things that I’m practicing so that I can be responsible for myself and keep myself centered and in peace. I don’t do it perfectly and am living one day at a time.
- I’m remembering the truth of who I am and that I’m connected to Source
- I’m sending love to my family, friends and to the world
- I’m listening to my body and what it needs when it needs it
- I’m resting when I’m tired and stressed
- I’m listening to my feelings; processing and validating them
- I’m eating healthy and going out in nature for walks
- I’m reaching out to friends and family through calls and texts
- I’m praying and meditating several times a day
- I’m listening to calming, peaceful music with a candle burning
- I’m going within and clearing any resentments from the past
- I’m trying not to judge others and what they are doing or not doing
- I’m trying not to take things personally
- I’m calling on the angels
- I’m feeling COMPASSION for people and what they are experiencing
- I’m trusting myself and what I need to do for myself
- I’m listening to my intuition and what my next inspired action will be
- I’m protecting myself by limiting what I read in the news and media
- I’m smiling at people on walks and sending love
- I’m trusting and surrendering to the unknown
- I’m reading inspirational books like “Love is All There Is”
- I’m laughing to lighten things up
- I’m tapping when I feel stressed (EFT Emotional Freedom Techniques)
- I’m taking more baths to relax my body
- I play zydeco music on my walks which makes me want to dance, and I do
- I have a stash of homemade sugar-free chocolate
I hope this list is helpful and you can add to your list of what you are doing to stay calm and peaceful. I am praying for you and ask that you pray for us. We are all in this together and need to support and love one another.
I AM CHOOSING LOVE
The season of Christmas is about love, light, sharing, giving and being with loved ones. When I listen to Christmas songs on the radio, they say it’s the happiest time of the year. Well, it may be for some, but not for everyone. You may be grieving the loss of a loved one, have a serious illness, be far away from family, recently divorced or lost your job. What a set-up to think something is wrong with us if we’re not feeling happy in the season. I often hear people say after Christmas, “I’m so glad it’s over.”
Spiritually, I believe the season invites us to go within and be still so that we can open our hearts to more love and light. Unfortunately, that is not what happens for many of us. Instead of being still and going within, we get busier with shopping, parties, cooking, eating and drinking. We are exhausted by the time Christmas gets here and we just want it to be over. Has this been your experience or were you able to give yourself some quiet time and go within?
Like many folks, I enjoy the lights and parties and being with loved ones. This Christmas I was “forced” to be still and go within due to a nagging cold that had a life of its own. I didn’t want to give my germs to anyone nor did I want to pick up any germs so we cancelled parties and dinners.
To be honest, I really enjoyed the quiet with the lights and candles and listening to Christmas music. Instead of feeling like I was missing something, I felt grateful for the time with Larry, myself and Spirit. I participated in an on-line program called, “13 days to Activate Your Inner Light Through Radical Self-care which I really enjoyed because it gave me the opportunity to practice loving myself even deeper.
I had the opportunity and time to reflect on this past year and all its ups and downs and the lessons learned. During the solstice, I was able to release what no longer served me and through the powerful energies present ask for what I wanted to attract into my life.
I asked Larry, “What do you think your greatest growth was for this past year?” When he asked me the same question, I knew right away what the answer was. It was TRUST. My trust in God is deeper than it has ever been. I know and trust that everything is in perfect and divine order. I know and trust that whatever I am experiencing is for my highest good and it is perfect.
It seems like as my trust in God has deepened, so has my trust in myself in many ways. I know when to say yes and when to say no, without feeling guilty. I know when to step out in faith and when to be quiet. I know how to love myself and give myself what I need.
I am learning that love is all there is and to choose love instead of fear. I am learning to see everything as an opportunity, rather than a problem or challenge. I am grateful for this year and look forward to even more blessings in the coming year.
As Pat shared, many of us are looking back at the year, reviewing how we have grown or changed. I think I have made progress in some areas and none in others. I’ve grown in patience and living in the moment.
I grew up believing that the man of the household had the responsibility to make sure everyone was happy or at least content when a problem arose. I thought it was my job to fix it or offer a solution. I realize that my perspectives about relationships came from this belief and my behaviors reflected this.
Pat has helped me understand that when she shares something that is troubling her, she is not expecting me to fix it. She needs to share it and wants me to just listen. After I have listened, I will ask her if there is anything, she would like me to do to support her.
The area I’ve grown most in is allowing Pat to share her feelings without offering a solution. When I’m able to do this, it really feels good for me because I don’t have the pressure to make it right or solve the problem. It’s no longer my responsibility and it’s a great weight off my shoulder. I wish I had known this a long time ago.
I’m learning that I can still love her, be there for her without trying to fix what’s bothering her. She is an intelligent person who can engage in all of the opportunities presented to her. She can accept these opportunities and handle them herself.
I shared a few weeks ago that the sale of my condo in Rhode Island fell through 4 days before settlement. Of course, I was disappointed and shocked, but I accepted “what is” and put the condo back on the market.
In last week’s blog I shared I had another offer on the condo. It was not what I had expected (several thousand dollars less), but I was grateful I had an offer. We signed the agreement and the inspection was set for this week. I felt peaceful and envisioned everything moving with peace, ease and grace.
I received a call from my real estate agent the morning of the inspection and I could tell in her voice that she didn’t have good news. She said, “Pat, I’m sorry to tell you this but the woman backed out of sale and cancelled the inspection. We will have to start all over and put the house back on the market.” I was in SHOCK and felt very weary.
I got off the phone and cried in Larry’s arms because I felt so disappointed and devastated. I couldn’t believe what was happening because it was the third offer that fell through and the condo has been empty since July.
It felt like I was hit by a truck and I spent the day going within and loving myself; two- hour nap, journaling my feelings, praying, crying, forgiving, remembering, hot bath, breathing and letting go of expectations and what I wanted.
I needed to allow myself to BE and feel my feelings and not do a spiritual bypass, even though it felt awful. I know my feelings are messages from my soul and I needed to pay attention. Fear quickly came to the surface as I “future tripped” on what could happen if I didn’t sell my condo. I wondered if I was doing something wrong?” Has that ever happened to you when something doesn’t turn out the way you envisioned or wanted?
I asked Spirit for a message because I didn’t understand what was going on. Here is what I received.
“This is not your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong. You cannot see the whole picture in this moment. Accept what is and TRUST. Let go of your expectations and what you want. Most of all, love yourself and don’t beat up on yourself. You are not alone. I am providing for you. You need to relax and rest in me. Feel your feelings and then let them go.”
When I woke up the next morning, I felt hopeful, peaceful, renewed and like something had shifted deep inside of me. Spirit guided me to read a book that I bought forty- three years ago when I was going through a difficult time and needed God’s guidance. It’s called “How God Guides us” by Don Basham.
My spiritual life has been based on the wisdom from this small book that cost $1.00. God guides us through open and closed doors. When I’m not sure what direction to go, my prayer is always “God open the door if it is for my highest good and close the door if it is not.” It has always worked, but it is not always easy when the door is closed in your face, especially when it is closed 3 times as it has been with my condo. Basham writes:
* Closed doors are a vital part of guidance. Don’t be afraid of closed doors.
* When God closes a door, it’s because His/Her plan involves something else.
If a door is closed, another door will open.
* The door of His/Her choice will open further down the line.
* Faith grows between that time when you think God has to answer and that time
when he finally does.
I wrote a book called Simply a Woman of Faith and have been on the faith journey for many years. My faith muscles are growing stronger and stronger every day. I only want to be aligned with God’s will and I trust I am being guided through open and closed doors.
We are all invited to make a commitment to TRUST Spirit, God, Love and the Universe even more deeply and to remember everything is already planned in the mind of God and we are always being guided to our highest and best good.
Basham writes in his book, “Living by faith is like living in the midst of a miracle on the edge of a disaster. IF God doesn’t come through, you go UNDER.”
I’m sure we’ve all been triggered at one time or another. For me, a trigger is when something happens in the present (an emotion, reaction, belief) that stems from something in my past that still needs healing. I can tell that it’s from the past because my reactions and feelings may be over the top and not rational. I will often feel shame and embarrassment for my reactions and feelings. Can you relate?
I may think that the past is over and I’ve let go of the past. I ask myself, “Why is it still coming up and why does it still bother me? It may be comparing myself to another, jealousy, not feeling good enough or feeling unworthy. If it’s coming into the light, it’s because there is more healing needed. Healing is like an onion, one layer at a time. I must be willing to trust it’s coming up to be healed.
I became aware this week of how I’ve minimized some of my childhood experiences because I didn’t want to feel the depth of my pain. My mother, because of her own pain and alcoholism often ignored me and didn’t give me the attention I needed and craved. Consequently, I looked outside for attention and felt devastated when I didn’t get it. Talk about always giving my power away. If I think I’m being ignored or forgotten in the present (real or unreal), it’s probably coming from past wounding that needs healing.
We can also minimize what’s happening in our present circumstances in our relationships or jobs because we don’t want to feel and face the truth. If we feel our feelings and face the truth, we will have to do something about it. Sometimes, it’s easier to stay in denial and minimize what’s going on.
We all have coping skills and behaviors to avoid feeling our feelings. Some people drink, eat, stay busy, shop, gamble, minimize, work, people please and on and on. What do you do to avoid your feelings?
To HEAL is to FEEL. When we don’t allow ourselves to feel all of our feelings, they go underground and we get sick and get stuck. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. When I allow myself to process all of my feelings, even when they don’t make sense, they move through me and I can let go of them and be healed. When I am triggered or feel an “ouch” it’s a call to love myself UNCONDITIONALLY.
Here is my declaration of SELF LOVE and what I do and don’t do when I’m triggered.
- I WILL not shame or blame myself
- I WILL NOT judge myself
- I WILL NOT beat up on myself
- I WILL NOT blame someone else for my trigger
- I WILL NOT be a victim
- I WILL love myself unconditionally
- I WILL feel all of my feelings
- I WILL trust in Divine healing
- I WILL trust myself
- I WILL bring my triggers to the light and share them with someone I trust
- I WILL ask Spirit to heal me
- I WILL be compassionate with myself so I can offer compassion to another
- I WILL forgive myself if I need to
- I WILL see everything that happens as a DIVINE SET-UP for my healing
- I WILL be grateful for what I have, rather than what I don’t have
- I WILL affirm that everything I need is within
The spiritual journey is about remembering the truth of who I am. I am ONE with God and everyone else. When I know that I am LOVE and love is all there is, I will experience peace and freedom. I am a work in progress and so are you.
For the past 40 years of my spirtitual journey, I have practiced the concept of “open and closed doors.” When I don’t know if something is God’s will or my will, I pray, “God open or close the door.” It hurts when the door is slammed in my face and I am left wandering in the hallway until the next door opens, especially when it takes a long time for the next door to open. Over the years, I have learned to trust that when a door is closed, there is always something better and more aligned for my highest good.
“Closed doors are a valid part of GUIDANCE. When God closes a door, it’s because there is a better plan. If He closes one door, He’ll open another, according to His timing, not mine. I keep moving in faith, even in the face of closed doors.” Basham 1975
Alan Cohen in his book, “The Grace Factor” discusses grace and GUIDANCE. He writes “Never underestimate the power of grace to find you where you are and take your hand. No situation is so dark, dismal, or disgusting that grace cannot enter and move you to a higher ground. When you stepped outside the gate of the Kingdom, a homing device was implanted in your heart. That device has functioned perfectly, constantly feeding you information about where to turn, when, and how. The fact that you have chosen not to listen to its message has not daunted it from broadcasting impeccable guidance. YOU KNOW ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU NEED IT.”
Here are a couple of examples in my life of closed doors that turned out for my highest good:
1. A year after my divorce, I met a man and we were engaged to be married. We were together for 2 years. As I look back on it today, I realize that we would not have made it together. God closed the door and I remained single for 15 years before I met Larry. If God hadn’t closed the door, I would not be where I am today. It was the desire of my heart to meet my soulmate and I “waited” in the hallway for 15 years. At times, I felt angry and didn’t understand why it took so long. I tried banging on the door because of my impatience and lack of trust. That didn’t work! I learned many lessons in the hallway about trust, surrender and God’s perfect timing. For me, it is always about TRUST and I am learning to trust that when I am ready, the door will open at the perfect and right timing.
2. During my divorce, I prayed and asked God for guidance whether to sell my house or remortgage it because I couldn’t afford the monthly payment. When I finally made the decision to re-mortgage my house, the peace came. My ex-husband needed to sign the papers because we weren’t divorced yet, which he agreed to do. On the day of the closing, he decided he wasn’t going to sign the papers and there was nothing I could do about it. A week later, to my surprise, I received a letter from the mortgage company informing me that the interest rate had gone down (on its own) because it was an adjustable mortgage. The payment was the same as if I had re-mortgaged. God closed the door through my ex-husband’s last minute refusal to save me money.
I don’t know about you but, as a parent, it is difficult to watch your child suffer when a door is closed, especially if it is something they really wanted. Recently, one of my children applied for his dream job and it looked very promising. When he told me that he didn’t get it, my heart hurt and I felt sad and disappointed for him.
It was important for me to allow him his feelings and process. It was not the time to talk about closed doors and the door closed for his highest good. I needed to be there for him and be compassionate, loving and supportive. I had to wait until he was ready to talk about it without pushing and prying. It is easy to do a spiritual bypass which means to deny your feelings and push them down. I didn’t want that to happen to him.
When I am living in faith, I trust that a Higher Power or the Universe knows what is best for me (and my family and friends) because I don’t know what lies ahead. I am sure we have all had experiences when a door has been closed and it’s only afterward that we understand why.
Are you in the “hallway” now in some area of your life? Learning to wait with grace takes trust, surrendering to “what is” and patience. When we trust that our Higher Power has the perfect plan and timing for us, we will have peace that passes all understanding. I love the statement “God has my back.” Do you agree?
It will be 5 years in January that I left my home, family, friends, business and community to move 5,000 miles away to live on Maui. I am grateful that I followed my heart and stepped out in faith. I know today that it was God’s grace that gave me the courage to say YES. Of course, there was fear of the unknown and I had to let go of limiting beliefs of not being deserving or worthy before I could make this bold move. I had to trust myself and know that God was leading me and would provide for me.
Following your heart is not always easy because you may disappoint those you love and they may not approve of your actions and choices. Sometimes people look at me and wonder how I could have left my 4 adult children and grandchildren, especially when I tell them that I came here alone and knew in my heart that I was going to meet my soul mate.
As I’ve shared in other blogs, I have never been happier in my life and my attitude is over the top with gratitude. It keeps getting better and better as I “show up” and say YES to all God/Source/Universe wants to give me. I am realizing that I stop the flow of abundance in body, mind, and spirit when I am unable or refuse to RECEIVE. Spirit always wants to give more love, peace, joy and happiness, but I have to be willing to open my heart to receive.
I know that I am where I am meant to be because of the peace in my heart. That doesn’t mean it is always easy though. The hardest part of living so far away is not being there physically when my kids go through something difficult. Thank God for Face Time that keeps us connected.
For example: It was really difficult when my daughter, Mary, called to tell me that her beloved dog, Joey, passed away suddenly and the whole family was distraught, especially my young grandson. I cried and wanted to be there to hug them and comfort them.
I went online to find the “Rainbow Bridge” poem that I knew would be comforting to my grandson and sent it to my daughter. We face timed the next day and she asked me to read it to him, which I did. He was quiet and I wasn’t sure how much he understood it. I shared with him that my mom died many years ago and I get signs and rainbows all the time to help me know she is happy and safe.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies who has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All of the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
The next day I received a text from my daughter telling me that my grandson was in the car the next day when he spotted a rainbow in the sky. It was the first rainbow he has ever seen. He was so excited and said, “There’s the rainbow bridge.”
God is so good and hears our prayers. Although I am not with my children and grandchildren physically, there is no doubt in my mind that we are all connected by Love. All there is is Love.
I am a “Prayer Warrior” and have been for many years. I believe in and have experienced the power of prayer many times in my life and the lives of others. My life is prayer in action. Unity author James Dillet Freeman wrote, “Prayer is a reaching, and every act of prayer stretches my soul.” I have been the “prayer” and the recipient of people praying for me. I am comforted when I know someone is praying for me when I need it and feel a sense of comfort, protection and love.
When I am led to pray for someone or asked to pray for someone, it is always a privilege and honor to send love, light and healing. We are all connected and I believe LOVE is all there is and all that is needed in this world. When I am praying for someone, I visualize an invisible cord connecting my heart to their heart and I send them love. I have 2 close friends that have been diagnosed with cancer and my heart is heavy. I believe that sending them love is the best thing that I can offer them.
Worrying and obsessing about a person I love not only lowers my vibration, but doesn’t help them either because worrying is an illusion and a waste of our time and energy. My responsibility is to keep my vibration high living in the consciousness of love, joy and peace. It is a decision to let go of fear and trust that God’s divine plan is perfect.
When I am praying for a loved one or a friend, I don’t always know what to pray for. I am not God and don’t know what is God’s will for that person. I do know that God wants only our good in every situation. It is also my belief that we attract everything into our lives for our highest good – to grow our faith, deepen our relationship and dependence on God, experience a miracle, trust more deeply or experience love like we have never experienced it before.
It is not easy when something appears in our lives that rocks our worlds; like sickness, death, cancer, unemployment, divorce, etc. At the time, I may find it difficult to believe it is for my highest good and that I attracted it into my life. I may feel like a victim, feel sorry for myself or blame someone for what is happening. I choose not to stay in this state of consciousness for long because I believe in God’s goodness and love. It is usually afterward that I realize all the good that came from what happened.
It is important that we allow ourselves to feel all of our feelings and not push them down or judge them because we think it is not “spiritual.” We need to allow ourselves time to grieve for as long as we need to so we will be able to surrender to “what is” and accept our circumstances. That can take a week, or years or whatever is needed to move through it. We need to be gentle and patient with ourselves.
I have experienced all of the above at one time or another. My mother died when I was 20 years old and my daughter-in-law died at the age 37 from cancer leaving 2 young children and my son alone. My ex-husband was out of work for a year and we had 4 small children to care for. God always provided and often in miraculous ways. It was during those difficult times that I really learned to TRUST God for everything. I encourage you to TRUST that whatever is happening in your life is a perfect divine unfolding that is leading you to the manifestation of your dreams.
When we trust deeply, we will experience many blessings. One of the greatest blessings I have received is the gift of PEACE. My intention every morning for the last 3 decades is to love, to be peaceful and to serve. I recently added to be happy. It is my hope that if I lost everything, but I have God’s peace and presence in my heart, I would know that I was rich. It says in scripture “I have promised to keep you in perfect peace to the extent that you trust in me. ”
I asked myself, “How do I maintain my peace of mind?”
* I stay connected to the God within through my consciousness
* I pray about everything and ask for guidance
* I DETACH when I need to and let go of control and MY PLAN (I Let Go and Let God)
* I am a detective with my thoughts to make sure they are aligned with Christ consciousness
* I SHOW UP and spend time each morning in prayer, meditation and reading spiritual books
* I ACCEPT “what is” and stop resisting whatever is showing up in my life
* I practice an “ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE”
* I TRUST that God has my back and that I am loved, safe and protected
* I forgive myself and others when needed
* I know the TRUTH of who I am and where I came from
I believe there are as many ways to pray as there are human beings. Prayer is a personal act, for me very private and difficult to write about. I feel that we all have to find our own way to communicate with our God.
I was brought up in a Roman Catholic environment where I was taught to say specific prayers for specific services of the church. I was expected to follow the Ten Commandments, church laws, attend mass and confession regularly and I would get to a place called heaven when I died. As I grew older, I started to have a lot of questions about life and my religion that I found I couldn’t answer.
I started to take responsibility for my relationship with God, Spirit, Source or Universe. It doesn’t really make any difference what you call it. I became aware that when praying in a structured religion, I was mostly asking for forgiveness and feeling like a failure for not being able to obey all the rules and laws I was expected to obey. I was afraid that if I didn’t obey these rules I would be severely punished.
My break away from organized religion was the real beginning of my conscious spiritual journey. I became aware that I had to take responsibility for the relationship and growth of my spiritual experience. Over the years, my journey has taken me to many places from being very angry with God, to complete indifference, to gently and slowly coming to a place of faith, in a source that has created all things from the energy and light of love.
I no longer pray from a place of failure and disappointment. I don’t petition the creator and my communication with my God is filled with hope and gratitude. I am always lifted up, never put down. I am encouraged and led to open my heart to the energy and light of love. I’m encouraged to love myself and by doing that, I will become a better vessel of love to others. I know I am worthy even though I’m not perfect. It’s not about perfection. It’s about being open to the free, no strings attached gift of love. I look forward to each day’s adventure. I am completely open to learn how to become more conscious of who I am, who Spirit is and who we are together.
No matter how you pray or who you pray to, I hope your experience is positive and fulfilling, I hope it knocks down your walls of resistance, so you will be able to welcome the gift of love into your life with an open heart.
Always With Love,
Larry and Pat
People often comment to me that I inspire them. I love to hear that because it is truly my mission and desire to INSPIRE people to “go within” and find God. I believe that it is only by “going within” that I have discovered Love and embraced my greatness, power and divinity. I want everyone to know that the same Love, greatness and divinity is inside of them. Here is a part of an email that I received from a woman after reading our last blog. It touched my heart.
“I loved your post today. Both you and Larry’s writing really spoke to me and I want to start changing the way I live. I get up each day and feel like I go from branch to branch like a monkey and before I know it, half the day is over and I don’t know where it goes. I want to change that. Thank you for leading me to “The Spirit Post.” I want to take the time each day now when I awake to read one article, poem to start my day. You both have lifted my spirit weekly when I receive your posts. I want to thank you and Larry for giving me just what I was looking for to keep me centered in my spiritual world. I had gotten away from my spirituality and I feel you both have helped to bring it back.”
I am celebrating my 4th year anniversary of moving to Maui. The gratitude and joy I feel is beyond words and indescribable. I didn’t know HOW I could do it nor did I have the answers before I took the leap of faith and followed my heart 5,000 miles away from all I loved in my life. I just knew I had to follow my heart. Even though I couldn’t see what was ahead for my future, I trusted God to lead me and stepped out in faith.
When I was in the throes and thick of fear while writing my book, I often cried myself to sleep because I didn’t know HOW to do it or think that I COULD DO IT! I felt so overwhelmed by the whole ordeal of publishing and marketing a book that I put my manuscript to bed for a whole year. I said to God, “You have chosen the wrong person, I am not doing it.” I didn’t care that I had already spent lots of money and time on editing and writing workshops. What is interesting is that I didn’t know it was FEAR. I was in total DENIAL and told myself, “I just don’t want to do it.”
It wasn’t until I was preparing to lead a retreat called, “Love is letting go of fear” that my eyes were opened. Until I admitted to myself, God and another person that it was fear, I stayed stuck with a manuscript almost finished in my drawer. Once I admitted that is was fear, I asked God for help. I asked to be led and literally within 2 days my answers came and I had the direction I needed to finish my book. It was a year later, (after 6 years of writing) that “Simply a Woman of Faith” was published.
My God is patient and waited for a year for me to come around and say YES to His plan. I had to be willing, surrender my doubts and fears and ask for guidance. I am so grateful for God’s grace and that I trusted God’s plan for my life. What I know with all my heart is that God’s plan is to prosper me and it is always GOOD. God has placed your dreams and desires in your heart and will help you manifest them. You don’t need to know HOW they will happen. All you need to know is what your dreams are.
Is God calling you to step out of the boat and take a leap of faith into the unknown? It may be leaving a marriage that is no longer working or a job that bores you to death and you are not living your dream? Only you know what is in your heart and what is holding you back. Don’t let your dreams die inside of you.
If I hadn’t identified my fears and asked for help, I would not be living with my soul mate on Maui and living the life of my dreams. Fear is useless, what is needed is trust. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.
Do we realize how much we allow fear to affect our lives? How often do we allow fear to determine what decisions we make or don’t make. Fear is so insidious and hides itself so completely that we don’t even know it’s there inside of us making our lives miserable. The more we allow fear to go unrecognized, the worse it gets. Have you ever been in a situation where you just can’t make a decision and you don’t know why?
When I sold my catering business I was 45 years old and had to find a way to make a living. I didn’t want to admit it, but fear was my constant companion. I felt frightened and alone. I was going through a divorce after 21 years of marriage and had to find a new place to live and get used to living alone. I struggled with this because my life had changed so dramatically in a short time. It’s very difficult for a man to admit that he’s afraid because we are taught to be strong, macho and the protectors. Fear is viewed as weak and shameful.
I think many men push fear down and medicate it with one addiction or another. We are often not even aware that it is fear- related. After a while I thought, “Perhaps I’d like to meet someone but dating over the last 21 years had really changed. Being 20 years older didn’t help with my self- confidence either.” Just the thought of dating was scary. Did I want to put myself out there, become vulnerable and take the risk of getting hurt again? I struggled through that and at times it wasn’t pretty, but I persevered and eventually I became comfortable with the single life and dating again. As I look back at those years, I think it could have been a lot easier if I had the consciousness that I have today.
What I didn’t realize back then was that I had a choice. There is another power available to us that is stronger than fear, more powerful than anything created by humankind, that is the power of LOVE! We don’t have to go through life’s difficulties alone and allow fear to paralyze us.
I have learned that LOVE is the energy and light of GOD. LOVE is offered to us every moment of every day. We can’t earn it because it is a gift just waiting to be accepted. I can choose fear or I can choose LOVE. I know this sounds simple and it is, but it’s not easy. I had to stop thinking that I wasn’t worthy or good enough to receive LOVE. I learned love cannot be earned. Like most of us, I’ve made mistakes in my life and, at times, felt like I haven’t measured up. How many of you have felt that way? I realized LOVE is never a question of worthiness. We just need to be open to receive the unconditional gift that is being offered.
You may want to try this response the next time you feel fear threatening you. I say something like this, “I am not accepting fear in this situation, I delete all fearful thoughts, I CHOOSE THE POWER OF LOVE. I DELETE FEAR AND CHOOSE LOVE, I DELETE FEAR AND CHOOSE LOVE”. Repeat this as often as you need too. I hope you find this helpful. Love has never let me down. The next time fear presents itself in your life, what will you choose?
I am so grateful that I changed my thinking about Christmas a few months ago because it worked and I had the best Christmas in a long time. My “First Christmas” in Maui was an amazing one for many reasons. Although I missed spending Christmas with my family in Rhode Island, I felt their love and appreciation across the ocean. We did FaceTime and were able to share the Christmas Spirit with one another. Topping it all off, I received an early Christmas gift with my new beautiful grandson, River
Larry and I had a loving, peaceful day together with exchanging presents, a walk on the beach and a swim in my favorite pool. Then our friends joined us for a potluck dinner Christmas evening. We played games, laughed and had a lot of fun with the white elegant gift exchange. I am so grateful for Larry’s decision to love me and his willingness to do what I needed to do on Christmas day.
Christmas week started with me buying a black and white shirt that said “Good things are going to happen.” The next day I accompanied my friend, Kati, to the Honda dealership to buy a new car. We were there for 6 hours and then went back the next day for another 5 hours. Needless to say, we had a lot of questions! Unbeknownst to me another friend of ours, Zeriah, was also at the dealership wanting to buy a new car.
Being at the dealership for 11 hours, I wasn’t sure if I just caught the “new car” bug or Spirit was guiding me and giving me an opportunity to love myself and buy a new car! I have NEVER had a new car and quite frankly, was always satisfied with used cars (perhaps it was more about settling.) I was driving a 2002 Honda Civic and it was working just fine so I didn’t need a new car. Now, here I was seriously thinking about leasing or buying a 2016 Honda FIT. Folks, this is not like me because I am not a compulsive person, especially about something as big as this. Kati and Zeriah needed to buy new cars, because their cars had died. Zeriah bought her white new FIT on Tuesday and Kati bought her new red FIT on Wednesday.
As I said, I didn’t need a new car, it was simply that I WANTED to buy this car because I knew it would bring me joy and I would feel like a queen driving in it. I had to let go of “old beliefs” that I didn’t deserve a new car and that I was being ridiculous or crazy even considering it. Of course, I prayed about it because I wanted God’s will and Larry and I spent time together discussing it and reviewing my bills.
On Thursday, Christmas Eve, I leased a brand new Blue Honda FIT and felt absolutely great driving home in it as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt empowered, joyful and loved by the Universe. This was for sure the best Christmas present I have ever given to myself. I named her HONEY after my mother who died 50 years ago on January 1.
On Christmas day, Kati, Zariah and I parked our shiny red, white and blue FITS in our driveway. Our friends didn’t know what was going on when they pulled up and saw 3 brand new FITS parked there. I know it is God’s will because of the peace in my heart and that I’m not doubting my decision or feeling any fear. The day after Christmas I received an email from ABRAHAM (a medium) that confirmed my decision to buy a new car just because I WANTED TO.
“Your Inner Being would want you to manifest everything that you decide that you WANT. Your Inner Being would want you to know that you have value and the ability to have or be or do anything. Your Inner Being would want you to fulfill every wish and whim that you could identify.”
Love is our true nature and joy is our purpose. God intends for us to live our lives “awake” and fully alive. It is time to celebrate who we are as children of God. We are here to shine our lights into the world and I am shining my light in a brand new Honda blue FIT.
I hope you all enjoyed a Christmas filled with Love, Joy and Laughter.
I think sometimes we can get caught up in the holiday craziness of sending the right card or purchasing the perfect gift. We don’t notice the opportunity the season presents to give us an intangible gift from the heart like love, kindness, forgiveness and understanding.
We shared in last week’s blog my challenges in hosting a Christmas party on Christmas day for our Maui friends. I think by Pat and I extending love, kindness, unselfishness and flexibility to each other we managed to have a wonderful party that we both really enjoyed. We were happy to open our hearts and home to others who didn’t have family here.
My gift to Pat was to support her desire to host the party and become a happy participant. Her gift to me was to accept all the responsibilities and not put that on me. To allow me to help in a capacity where I felt comfortable and not stressed out. This worked out beautifully for both of us.
We were able to listen to each other, hear and understand each other’s feelings and because of our love we were flexible and allowed the party to become a reality and everyone benefited from it.
I don’t want you to misunderstand, I still don’t like hosting parties or other functions but for one night I was able to put my fears and attitudes aside. This makes sense because I try to live in the present, one day at a time. I really enjoyed seeing Pat be hostess, laughing and enjoying herself so much.
I offer you this gift: Look For Love Because Love Is Looking For You.
For as long as I can remember, I secretly knew that someday I would paint. I would often say to myself, “You can do that” when I saw a painting at a gallery. I bought a book years ago called, “Drawing on the Left Side of Your Brain” and never opened it, or if I did, never did anything with it.
When I moved to Maui, my friend, Kati, and I did some painting together and then I put it down. I don’t know why I stopped because I really enjoyed it. Perhaps I felt my paintings weren’t “good enough” because I didn’t know anything about drawing or painting and it felt like I was “flying by the seat of my pants.”
A few months ago, (two years later), I asked my friend, Lesta, (who is a professional artist) if I could paint with her. She said, “Yes” and we painted a picture together in her back yard under her tree. I am not exactly sure what happened to me that day, but I felt a freedom to just play and I wasn’t worried about it being perfect, nor did I compare myself with her painting. Lesta said, “Pat, you have talent.” With her support and encouragement, I left her house with a new desire to paint again.
When I returned home, I found some of my old paints that I had put away and a few canvases lying around. I started to paint and haven’t been able to stop. All I want to do is PAINT. I am amazed at what is coming out of me and onto the canvas. I put a few of my paintings on Facebook and have had lots of compliments. A friend of mine, Jack, who is a well-known artist on the Island saw my paintings and asked if they were for sale.
My friend, Sharon, and I met at the local coffee shop recently. Sharon noticed that the paintings hanging on the walls were from local artists and they were for sale. She said, “Pat, your paintings are amazing and I think you should have yours in a coffee shop.” I remember thinking, “I’ve only been painting a few months now and they are just not “good enough.”
As I continued to play and practice painting ocean scenes, I could see that they were getting better and better with each one I painted. Our home now looks like a gallery and poor Larry has to step around the paintings to open the cabinets. I have all 15 of them lined up so I can look at them and admire them.
A couple of weeks ago, I went to lunch to my favorite restaurant called, 808 Deli. I spotted the paintings by local artists on the walls and felt brave and said to the cashier, “Rachael, who is in charge of the paintings on the wall?” She said, “I am. Do you paint?” I said, “Yes, I do.” She said, “We have the month of October open. Would you want to bring your paintings in to display and sell?” I said, “YES.” I am sure my jaw dropped open with amazement and shock. It is hard to believe how easy it was because she hadn’t even seen my paintings.
As October approaches, I started to feel “uneasy” about displaying my paintings. I felt vulnerable putting myself “out there” because what if no one bought them? There are so many famous artists on the island that are really good and who was I to think mine were “good enough” to sell? I wanted to ask friends, “Do you think my paintings are “good enough?” I was ready to give my power away again by going outside of myself to get others’ opinions, rather than going within for my own.
Last night, I had a dream that I had given birth to a baby. Giving birth in dreams is very powerful and significant because it means a new idea, project, dream has just been birthed. The only problem was that I wasn’t prepared and ready for the baby’s needs when I brought it home. While in prayer, I asked myself some questions: What had just been birthed? Where & what wasn’t I prepared and ready for? What did I need to do to get prepared? Writing a new book with Larry has already been birthed so I didn’t think it was about the book. It seemed to be about the “uneasiness” I was feeling about displaying and selling my paintings. I was shown that the “hard part” of 9 months of pregnancy and the contractions were over. Now all I needed to do was to nurture and love the “baby” so it would grow to its fullest potential. My baby (painting) was in the womb for 35 years.
I NEVER criticized or thought my 4 babies weren’t “good enough” when they were born. They were perfect and I was delighted and happy that they were born. I just loved them and only saw their beauty.
While I was meditating and thinking about the dream, God showed me that I had “birthed” my paintings after being in the “womb” for over 35 years. Instead of criticizing and thinking they weren’t “good enough,” I was being invited to love, nurture and care for them. They didn’t have to be perfect and I didn’t have to compare them to other people’s paintings. All I needed to do was appreciate and love them. That afternoon, I held each one of the paintings in my hands, prayed over them with love and gave them a name. It doesn’t matter if they sell or not. What matters is that they have been birthed and I had the courage to birth them “& put them out there.” The rest is up to God.
With the grace of God, I BELIEVE
• It doesn’t matter what other people think. What matters is what I think
• It’s my approval that I need and want
• I no longer need to compete or compare myself to others (which I did most of my life)
• My paintings don’t have to be perfect or the BEST for me to feel proud of them
• I will give my “baby” the nurturing and love that it needs to grow and develop
• There is no need to hurry the process
• I will love my “creations” just as they are
• I will enjoy and relish each stage of my painting journey
• I will be enthusiastic about showing off my “baby”
What are your dreams? What are you birthing in your life? What has been birthed? What has been in the “womb” that is ready to be born or does it still need time to grow and develop? Know that your soul will guide you in the right direction. We all have gifts to be shared with the world. It takes courage and a willingness to “come out” and let your light shine. Like me, it may take years and that’s ok. It took me 7 years to birth my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” We will never be asked to birth something until we are ready for it to be born.
Are you ready to say YES and trust that Spirit will be there to guide you every step of the way? If not now, when?
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Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
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