I have known this for a long time and am slowly learning to accept and even welcome that which I see in others is in me and a projection of myself. Whether it is the positive/light or the negative/darkness, it is always about ME. Often, what I have disowned in myself (shadow) or I refuse to see in myself, I can easily see it in my brother or sister. It is because we are mirrors for one another. We are invited to love all parts of ourselves and if we are unaware of something that is hidden from our consciousness, we cannot love it. I have 2 examples of seeing myself in another to share with you this week.
Of course, it is easier to accept that when I see the light and positive in another that it is also in me. I often see kindness and gentleness in Larry and I always affirm him for those qualities, although he doesn’t always see that kindness in himself. I recently realized that no matter how much I affirm him, he has to believe it for himself and it is impossible for me to do it for him. That is an inside job.
So I decided that rather than “over-praise” Larry when I see kindness in him because I want him to believe it about himself, I would turn it back on me and affirm and appreciate myself for my kindness and gentleness. If I see it in him, it is in me.
Larry and I are participants in a weekly book study group. There is a woman in the group who I admire and like her energy. She shares from her heart and is honest and open. She shares her struggles as well as her spiritual progress. What I particularly admire is her relationship and love for God. Since I easily see the light and love in her, I choose to embrace it and see it in myself.
It is not so easy and I am not always willing, at first, to see in myself what I don’t like in another. In fact, sometimes it takes a while to see the truth and set myself free. When I spot something in another person that I don’t like, it is easy to point the finger and blame, judge and even call them names.
It is a normal reaction, if you will, to “close our hearts” and withdraw from another person if we feel hurt, judged or misunderstood. I became aware that I also close my heart when I don’t trust someone for a “perceived” wrongdoing to protect myself from further hurt. I am wondering how often over the years I have closed my heart and lost relationships.
When I close my heart, I block the energy (God) from within. Not only is my heart closed, but my mind is also closed and it closes me off from all energy.
I had a situation with a friend that took me quite a while to recognize what was really going on. I wasn’t ready to see my part until I was willing to ask for help. I prayed and asked Spirit to show me the truth and set me free because it was really troubling me and I had lost my peace. I just couldn’t figure out why I didn’t trust this person and felt so uncomfortable when I was in her presence.
I heard Spirit say, “You need to relax and not stress about trying to “figure it out.” I often like to figure things out in my head because it feels like I have some control. What an illusion that is. Spirit said, “All you need to do is open your heart.”
The truth set me free as I listened and opened my heart and mind. What was gently revealed to me by Spirit in meditation and a dream was that I didn’t trust myself in some areas and was projecting it on to her. I got the message and the stress and “uncomfortableness” was completely gone when I was in her presence again. I have made a commitment to myself and God to keep my heart open and not close it when I feel threatened or afraid.
I have been thinking about how incredible creation is. It seems that the longer I live, the more I become aware of how all creation is connected. We are connected to one another and to nature.
Although our perspectives can be different and we may be seeking our consciousness in different ways we are still the same. We are looking for the same things and we have the same doubts and struggles, as well as the same hopes and dreams.
Sometimes we see another person and think, “Boy that person has got it all together and I wish I could be like that.” All I’ve got is this crazy “roommate” in my head that never stops talking, telling me what to do and what not to do. Most times it is judging me and encouraging me to judge others so I can feel better about myself. I bet if I talked with the person I thought had it all together they would laugh and tell me that they have the same type of challenges that I have.
I am grateful for the opportunity that Pat and I are participating in a book study group on Michael Singer’s book, “The Untethered Soul”. We read a few chapters each week and then get together once a week to share our perspective on what we’ve read. There are 13 people in our group. We’ve traveled many different paths and are currently living on Maui. We have wonderful, diversified, intelligent people who share openly from their hearts.
We are all unique in the way we are seeking to grow and become more conscious in our spiritual lives, but I am amazed at how alike we are in our life experiences. We all struggle with the same insecurities, doubts, fears and not good enough thoughts and behaviors. We help each other to expose our egos and not allow our egos to have power in our lives. We are all trying to accept our life situations and not resist. We are attempting to keep our hearts open to Spirit’s power and not close our hearts to what life brings us.
I see this experience as a wonderful opportunity for me to grow and become more conscious, so that I can become a more complete vessel of love. Through this experience, I am learning to become more patient, offer kindness, have more compassion for others, accept what is and not resist, let go of control and recognize and expose my ego. I sincerely hope that I am offering the attributes of patience, kindness, compassion and understanding to my fellow group members.
I had an opportunity this week to accept and not resist: I volunteer at a local organization delivering meals to the homebound on Monday afternoons. I agreed to fill in for someone last Friday. Well, I got into my very relaxed mode on Friday afternoon and forgot about filling in. Pat came into the room about 3:55 p.m. and asked me if I was going to deliver today. I jumped up and said, “OMG, I forgot.” Fear, resistance, stress, anxiety, judgement were all fighting to get into my psyche at once. I flew out of the house and started hell bent down the mountain. Then I asked myself, “What are you doing?” I needed to calm down and not resist what was happening, but just accept it. I said to myself, “So you’ll be a half hour late, its ok.” I was able to accept and allow what was happening to happen, I just let go of all the negatives that were clamoring for attention. I allowed my peace to return and everything went along very smoothly.
We discussed in group how we handle challenges in our lives when our energy becomes blocked or negative). One of the ways we all seemed to respond to energy blocked was to get out in nature by walking, running, swimming, going to the ocean or mountains or just sitting outside. We all sought the energy in nature to somehow nurture our wounds, calm our anger and help us reconnect with our healing power within. We remember that we are worthy, we always have been worthy and we always will be worthy because we were created out of love and we are love.
Mother Theresa wrote, “I am a pencil in God’s hand.” Today, I say YES to be a pencil in God’s hand. It is an honor and privilege to be of service to God and to the world. It is my passion to inspire and share authentically from my heart my journey of Awakening to the truth of who I am and where I have come from. It is my intention for you to find and connect to the “God within” (Source) and to live your life from this place of love.
I share “my stuff” and my process (which is not always easy) each week to let you know you are not alone as we all experience the same challenges and opportunities because we are all ONE. I believe that openness breeds openness and we need each other on the spiritual path to be open and honest with one another. Every step of your journey holds a lesson for you and I am grateful and humbled to share my lessons with you.
I started writing the blog once a month in 2007 when “Simply a Woman of Faith” was published. That was a stretch coming up with something to write once a month. In 2010, I started writing every week and have been ever since. Now Larry and I write and share our journey together. What a gift and blessing.
Some of you have been reading the blogs since the beginning and I thank you for your support and love. I especially want to thank all of you who have written and shared your experience with us. If it wasn’t for YOU, we wouldn’t be doing this. It would be a delight and gift to us to hear from you and your experience in reading the blogs, whether you began in 2007 or last week. We are open to receiving your feedback and love.
If anybody would have told me that I would write an inspirational blog every week, I would have told them that they were crazy. After all, I dropped out of a Bachelors program for a whole year because I was terrified that I couldn’t write a 20 page paper. Miracles do happen when we are open and ask for help.
Writing the blog is like giving BIRTH EVERY WEEK. Sometimes, it flows with peace, ease and grace and sometimes the process is painful and uncomfortable. I am learning PATIENCE and to WAIT and TRUST in God’s timing. God is trustworthy and has never let me down. Although, sometimes I wondered because it seemed like I had nothing to write about until I sat down at the computer to write. And then it came as I let go of control and “my plan.”
One of the many gifts that I have received in writing weekly is that I have to PAY ATTENTION to what is going on inside of me and PROCESS it so I can write a message that is meaningful and inspiring. It has also been a gift to have Larry join me and share his personal experiences of spirituality. We are forced (willingly) to discuss our relationship and how to grow as a couple so we can be vessels of love.
I am learning to let go of control and what I think Larry should write or not write. Last week, when he didn’t write, I accepted it and supported his decision. It’s been a great learning experience not to push him and do it like I think it should be done. Author Kute Blackson writes, “The root of misery is control. Control is the master addiction, the hardest one to give up. Control is an illusion, as there is so much in live that we cannot control. When you try to control what you cannot, then suffering is your guaranteed result.”
Another gift of writing the blog is when I meet someone in the community and they say, “I love your blogs and my husband is reading it too or that is exactly what I needed to hear today.”
I am learning to not be attached to the outcome and results. Of course, like anyone else, I love to receive feedback about what I write. When I don’t get any feedback, I have to let go of making up a story that people didn’t get anything from reading it. I have to keep my eyes on God and trust that if I am not meant to write anymore, Spirit will reveal that to me. Perhaps it wouldn’t be good for my ego to get too much feedback. All I know is that I have to accept “what is” and not resist.
So in love and joy, we will continue to write and share our journey with you in hopes it will help you deepen your relationship with Source and inspire you to have the courage to follow your heart and dreams.
For the last couple of weeks I’ve been feeling spiritually disconnected or scattered. I think perhaps I’m being given an opportunity to learn to accept “what is” and not be stressed over what isn’t.
I’ve been contributing to Pat’s blog since last September (31 blogs). It seems that every week Spirit will give me something to write about. I just wait and trust that something will manifest itself and I will be inspired to share it with you. Last week, for the first time, nothing arrived as I waited and the days came and went. I had a few thoughts and even started to write but after a few paragraphs I realized that I was just spinning my wheels and deleted it.
I manage an ocean front condo in Kihei to supplement my income. I usually have no trouble keeping it rented until now. I haven’t received any inquiries or bookings in almost a month which has never happened before. Our summer months are not filling up and it is a concern because I work on commission.
In the past, my reactions to these two situations would have been very different than they are today. In regards to the blog, I would have been stressed and forced myself to write something at any cost because I made a commitment to contribute each week. I wouldn’t want to disappoint Pat or our readers. I would have felt frustrated that I didn’t live up to my part of the bargain and that I let everyone down.
As for the condo, I would have felt stressed out about not performing and not doing enough to get it booked for the summer. I would have felt frustrated that I wasn’t doing a good enough job and not being successful and giving my client my best effort.
Instead, what I actually did was recognize that these situations were giving me an opportunity to practice accepting and not resisting things as they are. In both instances, I didn’t feel like I had failed, but had accepted the way things were and I looked forward to writing in the blog whenever I had something to contribute. If the condo books that’s great and if it doesn’t, well that’s just the way it goes. It’s not the end of the world.
I’m learning that what I resist persists. When I constrict, I close my heart. I’m trying to protect myself from the unpleasant circumstances of the situation. When I do that, I prevent the possibility of receiving the help the Universe is trying to give me. When I remain open and accept things as they are, I relax and open my heart and allow the energy and light of love to help me in the situation.
Learning not to resist is a difficult lesson for me to learn because I think I’ve been resisting often during my journey. It’s important for me to remember how wonderful things turn out when I am able to accept and when given the chance love performs miracles in my life.
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- Chapter 18 “It’s Never Too Late for Love” Ego
- I feel grateful, peaceful and light
- Ho’oponopono Healing
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Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
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