I am practicing letting go and surrendering to the unknown as I give myself permission to grieve and the time to move more deeply into my soul to discover the truths of who I am and the lessons I need to learn during this world-wide pandemic.
As I reflect on my life, I realize that to feel safe, I needed to control and please others. Control is the master addiction. I was needy and looked outside of myself for others to give me love, attention and praise. I didn’t know how to love myself. I needed to learn how to give myself the love and attention that I craved from others.
I’m so grateful that I have done my work and am changing from the inside out. During this “Spiritual Bootcamp” I’m sensing an inner shift of freedom & empowerment and it feels good. I’ve also experienced pain as I released stuck energy from childhood that I didn’t know was still there.
Best-selling author, Kute Blackson states, “It is like we have been sent to our rooms to be with ourselves to love the parts of ourselves that we have disowned and projected onto others. We are quarantined with ourselves and we can’t run away anymore. We are in rehab for our external validation addiction.”
I went to bed feeling peaceful one night and woke up with a heavy heart the next morning. I breathed into it trying to identify what I was feeling. I just allowed it to BE. Spirit then revealed to me that I was in the “what ifs” rather than the “what is.” “What if _______ happens?” I needed to change my PERSPECTIVE if I was going to have peace and keep my vibration high in love and gratitude. When I focus on the “what is” I am peaceful and centered. This moment “what is” is that I am safe, I am healthy, I have food and shelter and I have loving friends and family. When I focus on the “what ifs” I lose my peace and am not in the present moment.
I am blessed to sit outside every day and send love and prayers to the world and all who are suffering. I said to Larry this morning, “I’m going to my “prayer throne.” He responded, “You are never alone when you are on your throne.” This is so true as it brings me great comfort and joy to spend time in prayer and go within to feel the presence of the Divine and send out love. I love the Serenity Prayer and have been saying it daily for years.
“God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change…
Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference”
This is what I cannot change:
PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS, THE WEATHER, THE GOVERNMENT, MY FRIENDS, MY CHILDREN, THE VIRUS, WHEN QUARANTINE ENDS, MY CHILDHOOD… ETC.
This is what I can change:
- What I eat, exercise and how much rest I give my body
- How I speak to myself: with self-love and compassion or self-abuse
- My expectations & judgements of others and needing to be right
- When to speak up or “shut up”
- My perspective, attitudes, thoughts and beliefs
- The choice to live in FEAR or LOVE
- What I focus on: what’s missing or what I have
- How much time I spend in prayer and meditation
- Gratitude and being positive or complaining and being negative
- My need to do things perfectly and to be perfect
- To be in balance with giving and receiving
- My willingness to be honest, vulnerable and authentic
- Letting go of resentments and forgiving myself and others
- Letting go and trusting rather than obsessing and worrying
- Feeling all my feelings and releasing them and letting them go
- Surrendering to the unknown and letting go of control
- Being PRESENT and living in the moment or future tripping
There is a lot I can change in myself. I will do my part and leave the rest to God. All I can control is ME and my reactions. I’m responsible for my serenity and peace of mind. I’m choosing to surrender and to let go and “ACCEPT WHAT IS” and not be in resistance. Rather than pushing to do things my way, I am allowing Spirit to lead me. I invite you to use this time to “go within” and free yourself from what no longer serves you so you can transform and fly like the butterfly. What is it you need to change in yourself? This is your sacred time, use it well.
My prayers and love are with you. Together we will get through this and shine even brighter. Please stay healthy and take care of yourself.
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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