I want to wish you all a Happy New Year. I don’t know about you, but I’m grateful 2019 is over with all of the powerful energies and solar/lunar eclipses coming onto the planet. Many people are experiencing sleep disturbances, physical pain and feeling out of sorts emotionally. I look forward to 2020 and the many blessings and miracles it will bring.
The last two months have been very intense for me and I feel EMPTIED; like I have been on a “Excavation Expedition.” To excavate means to dig up or out, remove, hollow out, unearth, to uncover something, to reach inside.
I was willing, with the grace of God, to dig deep inside of me to release/clear what was hidden and no longer served me, but in fact caused me suffering and pain. It started with a 10-day colonics treatment in November where I released toxins and waste. This treatment was a deeply spiritual experience as I let go of what was still lurking in the dark recesses of my body and mind. I was surprised as memories that still had an emotional charge came to the light to be transformed and transmuted.
During the last 2 months, I have let go of “emotional attachments” to friends and family members, self-induced suffering created by beliefs that weren’t true, control, anger, grief, sadness and resentments.
Holidays can be stressful for many people and it often brings up my “stuff.” Christmas day was difficult because I live 5,000 miles away from my children and grandchildren. I missed them and felt sad.
For the past 8 years since I’ve lived on Maui, my family and I do Facetime on Christmas day. It’s a way to connect and for us to celebrate as a family. So, of course, it was my expectation that they would call and we would Facetime.
I felt excited and “waited” for their call all day. When my oldest son called to wish me a Merry Christmas on his way home from the family gathering, I realized there would be no Facetime call.
It felt like a wave hit me and I went under fast. I asked, “What happened to our Facetime?” I don’t even remember what he said.
I got off the phone in tears and prayed to God for help. Why was I in such deep emotional pain? I knew my reaction was way over the top and I needed to dig deep to uncover the root of the pain.
It was a “DIVINE SET-UP.” The belief that surfaced since they hadn’t called me was “I’m not important to them and maybe they don’t love me.”
As I meditated, Spirit brought to mind a memory when I was very young. I was sitting on the couch looking out the window “waiting” for my mother to come home. My mother left for days and I didn’t know if she was dead or alive. The “light went off” and I knew where this belief that I didn’t feel important came from. The truth set me free and there was a sense of relief, release and healing.
Many of our beliefs are unconscious and formed in childhood. If I don’t uncover these false beliefs, I will feel like a victim and blame others for my unhappiness. Happiness is an inside job.
The truth is I am very important and loved by my children. Ironically, after the DIVINE SET-UP, they each called separately to wish me a Merry Christmas. God is good.
For years, I looked outside of myself for others to make me feel important and loved. No more! Today, I will continue to give myself love, self-care, approval and appreciation. I am open and ready to experience more miracles and abundance in my life.
“My abundance and your emptiness are a perfect match. I want you to be filled with My very Being, permeated through and through with Peace.”
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- Chapter 18 “It’s Never Too Late for Love” Ego
- I feel grateful, peaceful and light
- Ho’oponopono Healing
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