I had been reading the daily devotional “Until Today” by Iyanla Vanzant for many years. I put it on the bookshelf when I moved to Maui over a year ago, until yesterday. While in prayer yesterday, something nudged me to dust it off and start reading it again. I think Spirit knew I was going to need the message today.
Here is what I read:
Today I am devoted to living without judgements! I am devoted to letting things be! (March 4)
“From where you sit, it may seem that certain people should know better, they should be better and they know they should be doing better. The truth is that every time you should someone, you make a judgment. Your judgement reflects your belief in right and wrong based on what you know or may not know. Your judgement reveals your attitude of superiority that says you have the right to determine what must be done, how it must be done and who must do it. Your judgement shows that you resist accepting things the way they are. A judgement is a means of control. It is an attempt to get people to do what you need and want them to do in order to feel better about yourself. A judgement is a sign of fear. Most important of all, a judgement is the way you set yourself up to be judged by others.”
I received a text from my brother when I woke up this morning informing me that my 95 year old step-mother had a bad fall 2 weeks ago and had to go and live with her sister. Of course, I called her immediately and told her that I hadn’t called because no one had told me about the accident. I left a message on her phone just yesterday and planned on calling again today. She explained to me what happened and reassured me that she was getting better. I felt upset and angry with my brother for not letting me know sooner.
I knew God was speaking to me loud and clear through the reading because I had just finished journaling and writing about my feelings about not being informed that she had the accident. I was “shoulding” on my brother. Many years ago, I put this statement on my phone “I will not should on myself” to remind me not to should on myself, which I did quite a bit at that time.
What I realized is that feelings are not right or wrong. Of course, I would feel angry that I wasn’t informed about it and left out of the loop. I needed to give myself permission to feel the anger and hurt for as long as I needed to feel it. So often, we want to JUMP OVER or deny the feelings because we don’t think it is spiritual to feel these feelings. If I don’t allow myself to feel all of my feelings and try to deny them by whatever I do over them (eat, shop, drink, stay busy, work, gamble) they will often come out sideways and at an innocent bystander or a loved one.
I allowed myself to feel my feelings and then I chose to let them go and not judge my brother. I will speak kindly to him and ask him to let me know in the future when something happens.
Prior to this incident, I was thinking about what God wanted me to write about for the weekly blog. I was working on my “right or wrong” and black and white kind of thinking that I grew up with. Either I was blaming someone for something I didn’t like or I was blaming myself for doing something wrong. Whenever I blame someone for something, I put myself into victim mentality.
I choose not to believe this kind of” right or wrong” thinking anymore because I know I am a perfect divine expression of God and I am always at the perfect and right place in my life. I also believe God’s timing is in perfect and in right order. As divine beings we can really do no wrong. We make choices. Choices have consequences. The only way wrong gets in is when we put it on the path, when we judge ourselves or others. Life always offers us the opportunity to do it over until we receive the desired results of our hearts.
I am grateful when God shines His light into my heart and shows me the truth about myself. As I have written before, it is the desire of my heart to meet my soul mate in Maui. I believe God has put that desire in my heart and it will be fulfilled in God’s time, not mine. For the most part, I am patient and focus on loving myself, having fun and living my life to the fullest. I know like attracts like and l will attract a man who also loves himself and is living his life to the fullest.
I was surprised when I uncovered this false belief about myself this week that needed to be changed and transformed. Have you ever wondered why you can manifest things so easily sometimes and other times, it seems like it takes forever? Perhaps that is God’s way of letting me know I AM NOT IN CONTROL. Have you ever asked yourself, “What’s wrong with me that I cannot manifest this in my life or thought that I must be blocking my good because it hasn’t happened yet?” Yes, there may be blocks that need to be released so I can receive my highest good. But, it may simply be not God’s timing! Acceptance and surrender is the answer here.
This is what I experienced when I went to the weekly dance and noticed 2 women with new boyfriends. The desire for a man in my life was activated and the thought popped into my head “What’s wrong with you that you haven’t manifested your man yet?” Thank God, I recognized this false belief immediately and knew that wasn’t the truth at all.
Whenever I focus on what I “perceive” to be wrong or what’s missing in my life, I lower my vibration and frequency. Whenever my mind takes me into fear or doubt, I need to affirm the truth and call in love and light. My affirmation is “Everything I need is streaming toward me, I open my hands to receive and everything is unfolding according to a divine plan and in the perfect timing.”
There is nothing wrong with you or me, we are God’s perfect expression in this world and we are made in Gods’ image and likeness. That doesn’t mean that we don’t need to change because life is about change and we are constantly evolving and growing into the person God intended us to be.
I am learning to trust the process of life and the lessons that show up for my highest good on a daily basis. I trust God to lead me and show me the way because I only want God’s will in my life. I ask for what I need on a daily basis and am open to receiving all the good that is mine. I know that whatever I need, whenever I need it, wherever I need it, for as long as I need it, will always be there for me. I have read that the perfect prayer is to ask for the highest and best for my life.
I am attuned to my divine nature – Daily Word March/April pg. 49
Because I am made in the image of likeness of God, my essence is divine. In prayer, I affirm my higher nature and invite clarity on how to more fully express it in my thoughts, words and actions. Settling into the silence, I quiet my mind and heart. I become aware of my soul-essence and of God’s gentle presence. This presence is always within me; my spiritual practice simply brings it into focus. I rest in the Presence for a time of meditation. I continue my spiritual practice as I bring my awareness back to the activities of the day. I remain attuned to the present moment. Deeply connected to my divine nature, I shine God’s presence into the world.
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