Wow, mom, you have changed
I was enjoying a cup of coffee with my friend, Ruth, when she turned to me and said, “Pat, I have never seen you so strong. It’s like you are comfortable in your own skin.” I smiled and said, “Yes I feel it, I know it.” Recently my daughter remarked, “Wow mom, you have changed.” I just smiled and said, “Thank you.”
As I look back over my life, I realize how much suffering I caused myself and gave my power away because I took things personally. Even though I knew “intellectually” that what others did or didn’t do had nothing to do with me, I still felt hurt and unloved when I didn’t get what I thought I needed and wanted. And I mean really HURT sometimes.
I also thought it must be my fault and blamed myself for others’ inappropriate or careless behavior. I would ask myself, “What did I do wrong?” I caused myself so much anguish and pain over the years. Sometimes traveling from the head to the heart takes a long time. My heart now knows the truth of who I am as a divine being and that I am LOVE. It truly is an inside job and I’m responsible for my own happiness and peace.
It is wonderful when someone you have known for years sees your growth and shares it with you. But even more wonderful is when you see it in yourself and OWN it. It’s taken me years to get to this place. I was willing to dig deep, align with Spirit, ask for help, and do the inner work of releasing what no longer served me.
My cousin, Doreen, recently gifted me with a reading from a medium and psychic that she knew. It was a powerful reading and my grandmother showed up immediately. Right before the reading as I was driving home from a friend’s house, I spotted a boat with the name AMELIA on it. That was my grandmother’s name. My grandmother gave me unconditional love and I was her angel. She assured me of her love and that she is always with me.
Toward the end of the reading, Don asked me, “Is there anything you want to know or that I can help you with?” I immediately said, “No, I have everything I need and want.” I was pleasantly surprised by my answer. In the past, I would have had all kinds of questions: How is it going to happen, when is it going to happen, what is my purpose, etc.
At the beginning of 2021, Spirit gave me a word to focus on for the year. It was EXPANSION in all areas of my life. I had no idea what it would look like. I feel a major SHIFT and truly have expanded in body, mind, and spirit. My body is healthy and strong as well as my mind and spirit. I no longer look “outside” of myself for approval and to feel loved as I have learned to give it to myself. My relationship with Spirit has deepened and I “check-in” for guidance and direction all day long.
This year’s word is FLOW and ABUNDANCE. Going with the FLOW of life and radical acceptance of “what is” will anchor me into the present moment and my heart space. I feel so abundant now, I can’t imagine more abundance, but I will take it.
Here is what I read this week that spoke to my heart:
“The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is to not force anything; conversations, friendships, relationships, attention, love. Anything forced is just not worth fighting for, whatever flows, flows, what crashes, crashes. It is what it is.”
I received an email from a man this week requesting coaching/counseling. He said, “I have been reading your blogs for the last 10 years and feel like you are the person who can help me move forward in my life.” I responded to his email with some questions. I asked, “Why now?” He wrote back. “If not now, when?”
If you feel stuck and are not living the life you dream of, I am here to assist you on your journey. I am only working with individuals who are ready to dig deep and do the inner work of releasing what no longer serves them. If not NOW, when?
I HOPE YOU LIVE LOUDER
“I hope you laugh more. I hope you sing at the top of your lungs. I hope you drive with the windows down and let the wind rustle through your hair. I hope you hug. I hope you kiss. I hope you surround yourself with people who make you feel alive. I hope you become the type of person that brings good energy wherever you go, and the type of person people want to be around. I hope you speak what’s on your mind, that you raise your voice for injustice, that you tell others that you love them, instead of waiting until it’s too late. I hope you live louder, shine brighter from this moment on”. Marisa Donnelly
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